Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[75A]

By deduction, are you either his wife or his nannie?!

Neither, just someone that likes him and his ideas.

 

[Mr. SW]

The widespread use of the word ‘super’ as a vague substitute for a more appropriate strengthening word: I found it super difficult, I worked super hard, can you be super kind. I even came across ‘super disgusting’: I find that a contradiction in terms, unless you have an utterly revolting senior policeman.

Awesome! I super agree. Like, totally.

 

[Busaholic]

The large hadron collider proved the existence of the higgs bosons amongst other things.

As a result of which, I can die a happy man.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

As a result of which, I can die a happy man.

As, no doubt, can a certain Peter Higgs.

 

[simonw]

As, no doubt, can a certain Peter Higgs.

As can Nick Cave

 

[AM9]

The widespread use of the word ‘super’ as a vague substitute for a more appropriate strengthening word: I found it super difficult, I worked super hard, can you be super kind. I even came across ‘super disgusting’: I find that a contradiction in terms, unless you have an utterly revolting senior policeman.

Persistent use of 'super' reminds me of the two yes men that also worked for CJ:

2 second video of Tony Webster and David Harris-Jones calling those two words.

 

[Cambus731]

People referring to half cab double deckers with the entrance and staircase just behind the front axle, eg Bristol FLFs, RMAs, etc as 'front entrance'
The correct term is forward entrance

 

[Mr. SW]

People referring to half cab double deckers with the entrance and staircase just behind the front axle, eg Bristol FLFs, RMAs, etc as 'front entrance'
The correct term is forward entrance

Or any half-cab bus as a London Routemaster.

 

[32475]

The vicarage featured in ITV’s Grantchester, or more specifically the fake wisteria dangled over front elevation. It seems to be in bloom throughout the spring, summer and autumn when other plants and trees are changing leaf colour and blossom as they should do!

 

[Calthrop]

Never mind that -- does the church clock permanently show 2.50 ?

 

[32475]

Never mind that -- does the church clock permanently show 2.50 ?

Ooh I hadn’t clocked that. Well spotted!

 

[Gloster]

A couple arguing for several minutes as to which way the train would leave the station so they could sit facing. She said (correctly) one way, he the other: this was at Platform 1 at Portsmouth Harbour and they only went to Fratton.

 

[Purple Train]

Never mind that -- does the church clock permanently show 2.50 ?

I seem to remember reading in The Ultimate Book of Heroic Failures the tale of a Brooke devotee from South Africa who wanted to photograph the church clock at ten to three. After a long and arduous journey of some six thousand miles, he arrived at Grantchester just in time, and got out his camera. The clock had stopped at five past one.

A couple arguing for several minutes as to which way the train would leave the station so they could sit facing. She said (correctly) one way, he the other: this was at Platform 1 at Portsmouth Harbour and they only went to Fratton.

That reminds me of a journey I undertook recently opposite a father and daughter, the latter of whom was unable to believe that the ferry that goes from North Shields to South Shields also goes from South Shields to North Shields!

 

[Calthrop]

That reminds me of a journey I undertook recently opposite a father and daughter, the latter of whom was unable to believe that the ferry that goes from North Shields to South Shields also goes from South Shields to North Shields!

Beware and take care of the mouth of the Tyne,
Where none come aus, though many go ein ...

 

[Sun Chariot]

A couple arguing for several minutes as to which way the train would leave the station .. this was at Platform 1 at Portsmouth Harbour and they only went to Fratton.

Sounds about right for Pompey. Fratton's finest...

 

[Richard Scott]

A couple arguing for several minutes as to which way the train would leave the station so they could sit facing. She said (correctly) one way, he the other: this was at Platform 1 at Portsmouth Harbour and they only went to Fratton.

Reminds me of a situation at Frankfurt Hbf a few years back. Woman opposite asked if she could swap as she wanted to face direction of travel. I did say beforehand there was an issue with train and it was going to reverse at Frankfurt Sued (her comprehension of the German announcement obviously wasn't good) and she may as well stay put. She insisted so I obliged. Smug mode then ensued once we reversed at Frankfurt Sued as she couldn't face asking again!
People who won't listen annoy me intently!!!

 

[Busaholic]

Reminds me of a situation at Frankfurt Hbf a few years back. Woman opposite asked if she could swap as she wanted to face direction of travel. I did say beforehand there was an issue with train and it was going to reverse at Frankfurt Sued (her comprehension of the German announcement obviously wasn't good) and she may as well stay put. She insisted so I obliged. Smug mode then ensued once we reversed at Frankfurt Sued as she couldn't face asking again!
People who won't listen annoy me intently!!!

I wonder if she'd have understood the word schadenfreude!!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who are afraid of facing backwards on the train ought to be "banned" as per the thread title... or at least forced to face their irrational fear at least once. Particularly if they also feel entitled to ask others to swap seats with them.

 

[dangie]

Pubs/Restaurants who say they are fully booked when clearly they are not.

Last night we visited a popular ‘carvery’ pub in Stafford for granddaughters 16th birthday. There were nine of us. We had booked a table. No problem.

When we arrived at the pub there were a family asking for a table. The member of staff asked if they had booked, which they then said they hadn’t. They were told ‘sorry we are full booked for tonight’. The time was 6.30pm.

Over the two hours we were there at least half the tables in the pub were empty. Also there were no ‘Table Reserved’ cards on those tables (our table did have a reserved card on it, which of course it was).

Why this pub was turning away customers I don’t know. However the length of time it took someone to come and clear tables I’m guessing there may have been a shortage of staff. This is not an independent pub but part of a large pub/restaurant chain.

 

[bspahh]

Pubs/Restaurants who say they are fully booked when clearly they are not.

Last night we visited a popular ‘carvery’ pub in Stafford for granddaughters 16th birthday. There were nine of us. We had booked a table. No problem.

When we arrived at the pub there were a family asking for a table. The member of staff asked if they had booked, which they then said they hadn’t. They were told ‘sorry we are full booked for tonight’. The time was 6.30pm.

Over the two hours we were there at least half the tables in the pub were empty. Also there were no ‘Table Reserved’ cards on those tables (our table did have a reserved card on it, which of course it was).

Why this pub was turning away customers I don’t know. However the length of time it took someone to come and clear tables I’m guessing there may have been a shortage of staff. This is not an independent pub but part of a large pub/restaurant chain.

There is more to running a restaurant than having free chairs and tables. A carvery relies on having meat cooked and ready to carve. Perhaps they have had some quiet days, when they had to throw away meat, and had cooking staff sitting around doing nothing. If they have less food ready to eat, and fewer staff on call, then they might need to limit the number of diners.

 

[dangie]

There is more to running a restaurant than having free chairs and tables. A carvery relies on having meat cooked and ready to carve. Perhaps they have had some quiet days, when they had to throw away meat, and had cooking staff sitting around doing nothing. If they have less food ready to eat, and fewer staff on call, then they might need to limit the number of diners.

I take what you say, but in this instance there was plenty of food. There were a few eating when we arrived and a small number after, who had obviously booked tables. Yes they probably did throw food away, but that wouldn’t have been for lack of customers eating, but due to the customer’s turned away.

 

[Cambus731]

Not sure how this could actually be banned, and this is maybe a bit of a niche sensation, but I would say it is a little irritating to have gone out of my way to track bash or 'clear' a line or even just a curve or chord, only to find myself doing the line/chord again a few years later to get from a to b.
It is especially irritating if its a piece of track that I end up doing several times. eg Preston to Leeds/Colne, or on a very frequent basis, on my case this was the Cambridge Chord from the WAML onto the Stansted Airport branch.

 

[Welly]

Probably the same as having to go out of your way to copping a locomotive, only for that loco to follow you around afterwards!

 

[uglymonkey]

There is a trend in new cars to paint them in exactly the same pantone reference as the tarmac of the road (grey), making you do a double take to see that they are there in the 1st place in daylight. Does not add visibility at all. In addition, some of them are electric so as well as not seeing them , you can't hear them either !! ( Why oh why???) If you want to camouflage a car , fine, but seriously??

 

[Calthrop]

Not sure how this could actually be banned, and this is maybe a bit of a niche sensation, but I would say it is a little irritating to have gone out of my way to track bash or 'clear' a line or even just a curve or chord, only to find myself doing the line/chord again a few years later to get from a to b.
It is especially irritating if its a piece of track that I end up doing several times. eg Preston to Leeds/Colne, or on a very frequent basis, on my case this was the Cambridge Chord from the WAML onto the Stansted Airport branch.

At the risk of being accused of bragging; a "benign" version of this, experienced by me; concerning the route now occupied in part by the Gloucestershire Warwickshire heritage line: Cheltenham -- Broadway -- Long Marston -- Stratford-on-Avon. In 1967, I went to some lengths to plan and carry out a day's line-bash, to include the rather few remaining daily public passenger workings over that route. Most of ten years later, well after end of scheduled passenger services thereon (this must have been not long before the mishap, in 1976 if I remember rightly, which led to abandonment of this line south of the Honeybourne junctions): I was travelling on a south-to-north long-distance train; which -- unexpectedly, and presumably owing to something having gone wrong on the ex-Midland main line north of Cheltenham -- was diverted after Cheltenham, onto the ex-GW route all the way to Stratford "and points north". This regarded by me not as an annoyance, but as a wondrous gift from the heavens.

 

[507021]

Online retailers who sell backpacks but don't specify the dimensions.

 

[dangie]

Online retailers who sell backpacks but don't specify the dimensions.

Not ideal I know, and you shouldn’t have to, but could you look at the manufacture’s website?

 

[507021]

Not ideal I know, and you shouldn’t have to, but could you look at the manufacture’s website?

It isn't ideal but I'm glad you suggested it, one of my shortlisted options is the size I need. Good shout.

 

[32475]

Online retailers who sell backpacks but don't specify the dimensions.

You’ve raised a very good point about online retailers who don’t state dimensions on all sorts of products.

 

[dgl]

One good thing about Ikea is that not only do they give all the assembled dimensions, they also give the dimensions of the boxes they come in so you can check if they'll fit in your car before buying.