Dedicated to Sprog

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Time = 8 O'Clock in the morning peak. Place -= St James's Park Eastbound.

Just stopped and I 've opened the doors and see the platform staff standing close by. I wish him a good morning "Don't you effing good morning me mate!!" comes the reply. "Why, what have I done" says me. "YOU, ain't done nuffink cock, it's the guard on 167 I'm after" 167 being an inner rail circle train. "Oh, really why? Says me again, all ears. "Well I'd just done me breakfast in the messrom wot's under them stairs" says he pointing "It was a nice bit 'o bacon, a couple of eggs and a slice of fried bread" This made my mouth water. "So I just sits down to eat it and the bleedin phone rings dunnit" "Now the phone is in a cubicle along the platform see, so I gets up and leaves me grub on the board and goes to answer it" "When I'm done, out I come just in time to see my breakfast disappearing into the back cab of 167" "The thieving git has smelt my nosh and nicked it" "I tried to get to him but he woz too quick fer me"
This I presume must be the Guard of 167 so I ask if that is the case and get an affirmative followed by "When he comes round here agin he's gonna get sunnick else to eat, and it ain't gonna be a bit tasty either"

Oh they were happy days.
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