Jokes

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richa2002

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Post your jokes here. Relieves the boredom of a Sunday afternoon :)
Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
 
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Sprog

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Sorry to kind highjack your thread RA, but:

Q) What do you call a chav in a box?

Q) What di you call a chav in a fileing cabinet?

Q) What do you call a chav in a locked box?

Answers on a postcard please! ;) :lol: :lol:
 

richa2002

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spm_43030 said:
Sorry to kind highjack your thread RA, but:

Q) What do you call a chav in a box?

Q) What di you call a chav in a fileing cabinet?

Q) What do you call a chav in a locked box?

Answers on a postcard please! ;) :lol: :lol:
No problem Tom! Anyone feel free to post more jokes.
 

Sprinter

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Q. Where would a railfan keep his garden tools?
A. In a shed!

Q. Two monkeys were in the bath, one goes ooh ahh ooh ahh, the other says "put some cold water in then!"

Q. Which woman is highly dangerous?
A. Madame Two-swords (Tussards)

More if you want some more, I will be glad to supply some...
 

Sprinter

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Q. Did you hear about the two coaches that had a fight?
A. Well, there was a bus-t up!

Customer: Do you serve lamb?
Waiter: Sorry, sir, we do not allow animals to dine here.

Waiter! Waiter! Will my hamburger by long?
No, sir, round like all the others.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Chesterfield
Chesterfield who?
Chesterfield of cows, that's all

Q. A man bought ninety birds. He placed 30 on the first perch, 30 on the middle perth and the other 30 on the top perch. How many birds did he own?
A. Only those on the bottom perch, because the others were on higher perches (hire purchase)
 

David

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Scunthorpe
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Granny...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Granny...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Auntie
Auntie who?
Auntie glad that granny has gone?
 

Andy

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spm_43030 said:
Sorry to kind highjack your thread RA, but:

Q) What do you call a chav in a box?

Q) What di you call a chav in a fileing cabinet?

Q) What do you call a chav in a locked box?

Answers on a postcard please! ;) :lol: :lol:
The answer should be: That is where they belong and never to be let out
 

tramboy

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Messages
330
Not jokes as such, but some classic ATC quotes (apparently!)

Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!” Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”

TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.” “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, “What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?” The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: “I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for another one.”

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."

Cheers!

Dave
 

Sprinter

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A man walks into a bar....OUCH!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Waitrose
Waitrose who?
Waitrose, you've forgotten your bus pass!

What do you call a sleeping male cow?
A bull-dozer!

Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a bridge
What's come over you man?
Two cars, one bus and a lorry!
 
Joined
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Messages
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Harelaw...
Richard Armstrong said:
Post your jokes here. Relieves the boredom of a Sunday afternoon :)
Blonde Jokes
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
i have to be quiet frank and say they were really bad........., part from the fact that im actually blond!
 

Sprog

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spm_43030 said:
Sorry to kind highjack your thread RA, but:

Q) What do you call a chav in a box?

Q) What di you call a chav in a fileing cabinet?

Q) What do you call a chav in a locked box?

Answers on a postcard please! ;) :lol: :lol:
No offers! Nice try RA, but:

A) 'INIT'

A) 'SORTED'

A) 'SAFE'

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I found them funny anyway!.............
 
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