I'm friends with someone and I was for a long time before I realised they co-owned a loco under restoration, and being into (mildly) railways and hoping to one day get employed in the industry when i found out I was very interested and went along for a few weekends before becoming a member. I'd say i was quite hands on, you were perfectly entitled to sign up and not get involved and you'd get your news every so often as promised and that'd be that but I wanted to be a bit more active and quite excited that they were enthusiastic to receive the time. As most societies are.
I do think restoration groups and heritage railways as a whole seem to miss a trick though, often the chain of command does get quite impersonal and I ultimately stopped being a member of the host railway where I volunteered because I got booted off their web-forum for not being active enough (part of a purge) they did offer to reinstate me got the overall impression nobody cared and so whilst I remain friendly to the group I originally joined, that put me out enough to make me feel unwelcome and so my visits waned.
There is one thing, and maybe this isn't the best thread to air it, but it does want noting - I personally think from my own experience societies are potentially missing a trick. They always have the same pre-amble - come join us, whatever your skill you'll be needed and there will be something you can do! But what about training? I don't mean formal qualification kind...but the country needs engineers and what better environment to create them? From painting, to routine maintenance, to project management and organisation to welding, fabrication, engine overhaul, designing parts with CAD and all the way to CAM, and even overhead crane operation in some cases (which oddly enough i do have a license for) - they could have it all and there are enthusiastic people out there, even though I don't think many young engineers-to be even recognise it as a route to getting their hands dirty but that could change.
All too often if you can't do something, or don't know how to do something, or even if you just lack a bit of confidence not knowing everyone - leads to the job just gets pushed to someone who can and you can't get into it at all, which means there's little ladder climbing opportunity or skill development. Heritage railways could really get something back out of organised mentoring schemes IMO
I look forward to identifying a society and getting back into it, would love to get into welding and have a bit of a interest in older dmu's so i won't rule out volunteering in the future, but not sure if id have the confidence to take the plunge tbh nowadays.
I'm also a member of a local miniature railway society as I have a battery 7 1/4" loco my dad bought before he passed, thats a friendly club and I spend many a weekend through summer giving kids rides at the club track. Maybe not a 'proper' railway but has a very good group of people in it and I get a lot out of it as I remember being a visitor when i was little, it's like a trip down memory lane every time.
In both cases (miniature railway clubs and heritage railways) i've found if you want a peaceful life try and avoid getting involved in decisions, comittees or any politics at all.