Sitting with a person when a train is empty

[AverageJoe]

My motorbike when in Thailand. I parked in an empty shopping centre car park, and hour later as you can see still somewhat empty apart from this bike being so close to mine I had to drag it before I could put it upright.

Some people just have no sense or ability to think for themselves.

Mine is the one on the left.

 

[infobleep]

Nothing so strange as folk.

Don't remember this happening to me but still time I guess.

 

[Bantamzen]

Happens all the time in places like Greece and some other Mediterranean countries. It would be odd for someone to board a bus and not sit next to/near any passengers already on board.

Just different cultural norms. Tends to really freak out Australians who have an even greater need for personal space than us Brits.

Indeed. We Brits really do get quite upset when our social "norms" are broken, thankfully a far bit of travel and meeting people from different cultures has helped me break the collective anxiety felt by so many when people don't follow unwritten "rules" as we expect! Maybe they wanted to be social, or felt safer with company, or just that they don't see being around strangers as strange as we do in this country?

 

[driverd]

I wasn’t even in the first seats of the carriage though, they boarded and walked past four or five rows of empty seats before getting to me.

So, top tip for avoiding this. Back when I was 16 I used to take the EMT HST to London. It was pretty cheap to get 1st on it and beat the LNER (then East Coast, maybe NXEC, cant remember) traction.

I remember one evening, I boarded early and had an empty 1st class carriage. It progressively got busier until it was rammed. Thanks to nothing more than a bass heavy song, the repeat button on my (then) iPod (yep, them) and liberal use of the volume button, I managed to fend off the business sorts a retain a table for 4 for myself.

Obviously the moment the train started moving I put the iPod away and got my book out (by this point I'd heard the same song a solid 4 times and needed a break myself), but it's amazing what wonders a small amount of slightly intrusive noise and looking, well, young, can do.

 

[NorthernSpirit]

I’m quite baffled by this. Empty train, except a couple of women at the front of the carriage, me towards the rear, and then the entire back carriage was empty!

Yet a couple boarding just decided to sit, of all places, at my table. Took out food and had a very loud conversation and meal while I was quite clearly trying to work on my laptop.

I’m trying to work out why anyone would sit at a table where someone was when they had the pick of the entire rest of the coach. Its just silly, unnecessary and annoying, and made me feel a bit weirded out to be honest. Has this happened to anyone else?

I once had a woman (aged 24) ask me if I was heading to a town, the same one as me. They asked if I were happy sharing a taxi with them. So I thought and said OK, I can see why.

It transpires that the local taxis (that I've never used despite living in the town for 12 years) have employed a few dodgy characters in the past and obviously this person who asked me, wanted someone with them incase anything happened; safety in number I guess.

I ended up becoming mates with them as they know my nephew (who is also 24), they were in the same year as him when they were in school.

 

[Mag_seven]

Oddly enough I'm currently right at the front of an empty train in Italy. Was a bit irritated when just before departure a guy with a rucksack appeared to plant himself in the bay of 4 opposite only to take out a key and let himself into the cab.....

 

[birchesgreen]

I did sit opposite someone on an otherwise empty carriage, but thats because i was booked for that seat! After the train started few others had got on so i moved anyway.

 

[RAPC]

Perhaps one or both of those who joined, are neurodivergent and had a strong preference that that particular seat or location, so just went there out of habit.

I certainly have known and worked with a few people like that.

I wouldn’t be particular happy either, had someone joined me either. However, if I didn’t like it, I’d probably have just moved and not given it a second thought.

 

[Wolfie]

"Sorry mate - this seat's taken." ?
Or, start a conversation with them. Ascertain their politics, take the opposing view. Hours of fun

But yes; I like my space too, which is why I avoid tables whenever possible.

Perhaps time for a bit of evangelising....

 

[Big Jumby 74]

Happened a few times over the years. Most blatant/annoying was travelling on a near empty 455 (rear coach of 8). Two others in carriage, so went and sat in facing window seat right behind leading bulkhead. Stretched out, feet under opposite seat. This wally gets on a few stations in to the journey, and sits himself in the seat immediately opposite me, not even in the one diagonally opposite, so he's had to shuffle his feet over my outstretched legs etc.
I just sat there stunned (at first) and glared at him. Then said something like "why there (mate), the entire carriage is virtually empty?"
But as is often the case in such scenarios, when you do ask a bloody obvious question (as I did), you'll be met with an indignant silent stare, no matter how many times you try to elicit an answer from them. Moved myself after a couple of minutes (fuming) and went through to another carriage to chill out.
Whether some people are just nervous travellers and feel more comfortable in close proximity to another person, or some (like this instant I presumed) are regular commuters, and that was the place he sat on his usual train journey, or as has been touched on above, just being a total txssxr!

 

[Wolfie]

So, top tip for avoiding this. Back when I was 16 I used to take the EMT HST to London. It was pretty cheap to get 1st on it and beat the LNER (then East Coast, maybe NXEC, cant remember) traction.

I remember one evening, I boarded early and had an empty 1st class carriage. It progressively got busier until it was rammed. Thanks to nothing more than a bass heavy song, the repeat button on my (then) iPod (yep, them) and liberal use of the volume button, I managed to fend off the business sorts a retain a table for 4 for myself.

Obviously the moment the train started moving I put the iPod away and got my book out (by this point I'd heard the same song a solid 4 times and needed a break myself), but it's amazing what wonders a small amount of slightly intrusive noise and looking, well, young, can do.

Frankly trying to retain a table for four for yourself on a crowded train isn't acceptable behaviour.

 

[Steptoe]

Relating to loos, when entering a (Gents) public WC with the intention of using a cubicle, I would always pick one as far away from any other occupants as is possible. Occasionally someone will then enter the next cubicle to mine even when there's lots of others available, the most memorable being when I entered a deserted 13 cubicle leviathan only to have someone come in a couple of minutes later and pick the one right next to me (on this occasion I was still in a position to be able to move away!)

Not particularly relevant to railways, except that main stations seem to be one of the few places where public WC's are still to be found, but it does illustrate herd behaviour.

 

[BeijingDave]

Happens all the time in places like Greece and some other Mediterranean countries. It would be odd for someone to board a bus and not sit next to/near any passengers already on board.

Just different cultural norms. Tends to really freak out Australians who have an even greater need for personal space than us Brits.

I was about to say this. The East Asians collectivism/sociability also makes them sit near others in a restaurant, on a train, even remarkably on an otherwise empty beach!

 

[Iskra]

On late night trains I have noticed that single, sober passengers tend to sit near (but not directly with) other single passengers, presumably for perceived safety reasons. I also notice more solo passengers sit where they think the guard will be on these services too, which is fair enough.

If you want to be left completely alone, shave your head and have a beer out (even if it’s an empty from a previous traveller)…

 

[Aaron1]

Once Before I was on a train, almost empty carriage, just me and another few youths sat 5 or 6 rows away from me, so plenty of empty rows, at one of the stops a single solitary person got on and decided to sit next to me ignoring all the empty rows, I gave her a glance which she noticed I think and she began to explain how once before when she sat by herself on a train carriage late at night in the 90s, she was raped by a group of males who was already on the train and since then she hates sitting by herself.

In that case she has a valid reason behind it.

 

[Jez]

I’m quite baffled by this. Empty train, except a couple of women at the front of the carriage, me towards the rear, and then the entire back carriage was empty!

Yet a couple boarding just decided to sit, of all places, at my table. Took out food and had a very loud conversation and meal while I was quite clearly trying to work on my laptop.

I’m trying to work out why anyone would sit at a table where someone was when they had the pick of the entire rest of the coach. Its just silly, unnecessary and annoying, and made me feel a bit weirded out to be honest. Has this happened to anyone else?

View attachment 152524

This would have annoyed me greatly as well. Especially as they had the pick of almost an entire carriage. Very odd behaviour.
Personally i prefer a double seat or table to myself, i cant imagine why anyone travelling alone would want to share a table/double seat and not have their personal space. Different if the train is very busy of course. But on an almost empty carriage, very odd. if it was me id have got up and moved to another table but not said anything, if they said anything to me id just say we might as well make use of the spaces available!

 

[BlueLeanie]

Flicking through this thread, no mention about reserved seats.

There is a perception amongst some passengers that they can be fined if they don't sit in their reserved seats.

So, I'm not sure what service that was or if the seats were reservable, but to turn this round why sit in an empty carriage at the only table with two seats reserved?

 

[Jez]

Flicking through this thread, no mention about reserved seats.

There is a perception amongst some passengers that they can be fined if they don't sit in their reserved seats.

So, I'm not sure what service that was or if the seats were reservable, but to turn this round why sit in an empty carriage at the only table with two seats reserved?

I don't believe TFW offer reserved seats at the moment.

I could understand it if they had a reserved seat as some people are fussy about making sure they sit in the correct reserved seat. Personally I've often sat in a different seat if there was a free double seat for example and they had put me next to someone else with a reservation.

 

[Deepgreen]

So, top tip for avoiding this. Back when I was 16 I used to take the EMT HST to London. It was pretty cheap to get 1st on it and beat the LNER (then East Coast, maybe NXEC, cant remember) traction.

I remember one evening, I boarded early and had an empty 1st class carriage. It progressively got busier until it was rammed. Thanks to nothing more than a bass heavy song, the repeat button on my (then) iPod (yep, them) and liberal use of the volume button, I managed to fend off the business sorts a retain a table for 4 for myself.

Obviously the moment the train started moving I put the iPod away and got my book out (by this point I'd heard the same song a solid 4 times and needed a break myself), but it's amazing what wonders a small amount of slightly intrusive noise and looking, well, young, can do.

A totally different scenario. With my hatred of selfish people who think everyone else should be forced to hear their music or their loud, obnoxious phone conversations I would probably have sat there, taken the iPod and stamped on it!

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Flicking through this thread, no mention about reserved seats.

There is a perception amongst some passengers that they can be fined if they don't sit in their reserved seats.

So, I'm not sure what service that was or if the seats were reservable, but to turn this round why sit in an empty carriage at the only table with two seats reserved?

There are no reservations available on this service.

 

[Skiddaw]

I hate it when people sit next/opposite/very close by me on trains when there's plenty of room. I know everyone has a right to sit where they want and accept that I'm probably being unreasonable but it really gets under my skin and I have to move elsewhere. Mind you, I think I'm probably a bit phobic about crowded trains at the best of time- I'd much rather stand in the vestibule than sit in a busy carriage even if there are still free seats. It's one of the reasons I'll do anything I can to avoid the London Underground. I infinitely prefer to walk than go on the tube.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Frankly trying to retain a table for four for yourself on a crowded train isn't acceptable behaviour.

Nor is playing music out loud to the annoyance of others - indeed it's a Byelaw offence!

 

[NeilCr]

Sort of the other way round

I was on a crowded train yesterday. I managed to get the window seat in a 3/2 seat set up with a small table

The rest got taken up by a family. They were fine / kids not noisy/ polite- they were eating and drinking which doesn’t bother me - but I did feel hemmed in

The train emptied out considerably at Tonbridge and there were other fours and fives completely free

I thought they might move to have one of those to themselves but they didn’t - their choice of course

So I did. Politely explained that I wanted to stretch out a bit. They obviously understood

I did wonder if they didn’t move for fear of offending me

 

[Beebman]

Back in the 80s I boarded a fairly empty 310 at Euston to travel to Milton Keynes. As the train didn't look likely to fill up I manspreaded a little across the adjacent seat (it was a double seat as opposed to a triple one). A couple of minutes late a rather large lady sat on the seat next to me and tried to push me over into my space even though the seat opposite and the ones across the aisle were all empty. I just got up and stepped onto the platform, loudly slamming the door behind me, and moved up to the next car.

More recently (and also at Euston) I was on a very quiet 390 going to Manchester. A man sat opposite me (in an unreserved seat) even though there were plenty of other empty unreserved seats in the coach. When the train departed I got up and moved to one of the other seats, and as I did so the man let out a very loud and pointed 'humph!'.

 

[The Ham]

"Sorry mate - this seat's taken." ?
Or, start a conversation with them. Ascertain their politics, take the opposing view. Hours of fun

But yes; I like my space too, which is why I avoid tables whenever possible.

I tend to be happy sitting in the airline seats going backwards, I get more legroom than at a table and quite a lot of people prefer facing forwards. I've been also known to pick to sit in seats with a wall next to it as again people don't like sitting there - it mostly works, unless the train is busy.

Noted. Just offering advice. Hope for your sake you never encounter anyone who reacts unfavourably when you film them.

I once was tasked, for work, to take go to bus stops to assess them for the introduction of real time buys information. One chap got rather upset when I took a photo of the bus stop, this was pre digital cameras so couldn't offer to delete the image (which is what I'd do now). The nearby shop keeper (this was in a busy street with several local shops) once the guy had gone, had said that if the guy had hit me he'd have called the police. Fortunately, his bus turned up and left me to it before he got too worked up and did something he regretted. I was a bit more careful about taking photos of people after that.

This bit can't be disputed (though guards still regularly make announcements about it, including on this very train).

However, it's the psychological motivation of the really quite prolonged schlep to the very front of the 260m long train past legions of empty seats and indeed virtually empty carriages to get to the one with a few people quietly minding their own business and royally trash their tranquility for no apparent reason apart from boorish solipsism. They've now inevitably started with the speakerphone tw*ttery. One day I will turn one of those to dust under my foot and to Hell with the consequences.

Twice in the last few years I've seen people come very close to a fist fight over it on GWR trains so I'm not the only one!

It's not the hill to die on tonight though as I'm saving my entire tolerance of humanity up for a journey from Leeds to Manchester after a job late tomorrow night .

"To summarise the summary of the summary, people are a problem" ©️ D Adams (again)

I suspect that's the main reason earth was updated to "mostly harmless"

 

[FtoE]

I wonder if they had a little game with themselves to see if they could weird someone out and get them to move (almost like a ‘Candid Camera’ type thing)
It would irritated me and I would have moved almost immediately. I’d like to think it would be with a witty, tart comment - but I’m too British not to do it any way other than silently….

 

[43066]

I know everyone has a right to sit where they want

There are limits to this, though. It would be quite inappropriate, and very creepy, for a large intimidating looking bloke to sit down next to a woman on a two seater, when there are plenty of other seats free, for example.

 

[geoffk]

When living in West Yorkshire I generally used Grand Central when going up to London. GC always seemed to put everyone with an advance ticket in the same coach, which was often very full, with the rest of the train almost empty. I waited until after departure from KX then moved further up the train to find loads of space and the staff never bothered.

 

[Silenos]

Amen to that! Hell is other people, as someone once said (probably a train driver).

Jean-Paul Sprinter

 

[6Gman]

Perhaps time for a bit of evangelising....

"Have you taken the Lord Jesus into your life?" usually shifts them.