Sitting with a person when a train is empty

[dorsetdesiro]

Similar annoyance - why do people park next to you in an empty car park? Why would they want to make it harder to get out of their car?

Funnily I've had that happened to me last week in a car park with narrow spaces when I had a doctor's appointment.

The car park was mostly empty with just 3 cars, I was about to get out but a car pulled up next to mine so I couldn't get out. The driver was an elderly guy seemed preoccupied with himself so he probably didn't notice my car there. Due to his age I'd let that slide, I had to climb over to the passenger side to get out!

I agree about the annoyance of people getting too close to you if there are available spaces around, *sighs* some people...

 

[Wolfie]

"Have you taken the Lord Jesus into your life?" usually shifts them.

You get my drift.... Almost worth having an old copy of the Watchtower to hand lol....

 

[Parallel]

This doesn’t usually happen to me on board trains but it happens a lot at stations. A whole empty platform, and someone comes and stands about half a metre from me and just stays there. Why?

 

[Llanigraham]

Frankly trying to retain a table for four for yourself on a crowded train isn't acceptable behaviour.

Agreed!!

 

[driverd]

Frankly trying to retain a table for four for yourself on a crowded train isn't acceptable behaviour.

I wasn't - I just didn't want someone sitting right next to me. Just turns out the desired effect covered a much wider area than intended.

A totally different scenario. With my hatred of selfish people who think everyone else should be forced to hear their music or their loud, obnoxious phone conversations I would probably have sat there, taken the iPod and stamped on it!

So, firstly, stamping on an unaccompanied child's ipod (yes this was that long ago), probably isn't the best look.

Secondly, as I was using headphones, the best you would have heard is distant bass.

As I say, I considered this more of an interesting look at stereotypes - it's not something I'd usually do (even at the time) - so I just found it very intriguing to see how people kind of assumed I was going to be a nuisance for the whole journey, when in realtity, I sat quietly reading my book for the entirety of the actual journey.

Or... maybe my face just put folk off that day, I don't know

 

[Bletchleyite]

If you could hear the music outside the headphones you WERE being a nuisance.

 

[TUC]

What I find odd is on a fairly crowded train there are a few free seats next to others, but some choose to stand, blocking the way for others needing to get down the aisle. They really are the unsociable ones.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

What I find odd is on a fairly crowded train there are a few free seats next to others, but some choose to stand, blocking the way for others needing to get down the aisle. They really are the unsociable ones.

If I was one of the people next to the free seat, I'd definitely rather they did that than sit next to me.

 

[TUC]

This doesn’t usually happen to me on board trains but it happens a lot at stations. A whole empty platform, and someone comes and stands about half a metre from me and just stays there. Why?

Because it's a normal human response to tend to stand near others, partly because it can make you feel a bit more secure, and partly a subconscious assumption that the other person knows where the train is likely to stop.

If I was one of the people next to the free seat, I'd definitely rather they did that than sit next to me.

If you use public transport, you accept people will sit next to you. We live in a community. That's part of normal life.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

If you use public transport, you accept people will sit next to you. We live in a community. That's part of normal life.

I know. Thanks for explaining that to me () That doesn't mean I can't prefer it when people choose not to?

 

[driverd]

If you could hear the music outside the headphones you WERE being a nuisance.

Note taken - never make light hearted comment about slightly obnoxious younger me behaviour (irrespective of how long ago) on these forums again.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Note taken - never make light hearted comment about slightly obnoxious younger me behaviour (irrespective of how long ago) on these forums again.

Yes, you're bound to get someone being self-righteous about things you've done in the past. I admitted to once dribbling a bit of water out of my water bottle (on the adjacent seat) to deter someone sitting there way back when I was in my mid teens, and got absolutely slammed.

 

[driverd]

Yes, you're bound to get someone being self-righteous about things you've done in the past. I admitted to once dribbling a bit of water out of my water bottle (on the adjacent seat) to deter someone sitting there way back when I was in my mid teens, and got absolutely slammed.

Awful, awful behaviour - best open a thread in Disputes and Prosecutions because that's probably a confession to who knows how many byelaw offences

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Awful, awful behaviour - best open a thread in Disputes and Prosecutions because that's probably a confession to who knows how many byelaw offences

I was about 13. Wouldn't dream of such shenanigans seven years on, of course!

For anyone interested, the above video I did share on TikTok, which has accumulated around 50,000 views so far and everyone's arguing in the comments. Partially because some think I got on a busy train, waited for it to empty out and then filmed it, which is not the case I can assure you! The couple boarded the train when it was as empty as it appears in the OP video.

 

[The Ham]

I wonder if they had a little game with themselves to see if they could weird someone out and get them to move (almost like a ‘Candid Camera’ type thing)
It would irritated me and I would have moved almost immediately. I’d like to think it would be with a witty, tart comment - but I’m too British not to do it any way other than silently….

What, not even a tut!

"Have you taken the Lord Jesus into your life?" usually shifts them.

The risk is that they are the 6% of the population who regularly attends church and they start talking to you

 

[DarloRich]

Maybe they just fancied the op.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Maybe they just fancied the op.

I suppose you could hardly blame them.

 

[DarloRich]

I suppose you could hardly blame them.

Indeed. It is cross some of have to bear with good grace.

 

[Llanigraham]

If I was one of the people next to the free seat, I'd definitely rather they did that than sit next to me.

To put it bluntly, tough.
Another passenger has perfect rights to sit where they like within the rules of their ticket, and if there is a seat next to you then they can sit there.
And if you are one of those selfish people who puts a bag on that seat they I will ask, politely first, for you to move it. If you don't the next ask will not be so polite and I might even pick it up and move it myself.

 

[PeterC]

"Have you taken the Lord Jesus into your life?" usually shifts them.

I had just the same thought

 

[pokemonsuper9]

And if you are one of those selfish people who puts a bag on that seat they I will ask, politely first, for you to move it. If you don't the next ask will not be so polite and I might even pick it up and move it myself.

On trains (And busses) I'll put my bag on the seat next to me unless it's busy, or someone asks. I think calling that "selfish" isn't reasonable.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

To put it bluntly, tough.
Another passenger has perfect rights to sit where they like within the rules of their ticket, and if there is a seat next to you then they can sit there.

I know. Read what's quoted before responding; we're talking about when a passenger chooses to remain standing. Chooses.

And if you are one of those selfish people who puts a bag on that seat they I will ask, politely first, for you to move it. If you don't the next ask will not be so polite and I might even pick it up and move it myself.

Interesting, but since I'm not, not really applicable.

 

[Bletchleyite]

On trains (And busses) I'll put my bag on the seat next to me unless it's busy, or someone asks. I think calling that "selfish" isn't reasonable.

I don't think it is unreasonable provided you proactively move it when you see someone looking for a seat.

 

[Skiddaw]

There are limits to this, though. It would be quite inappropriate, and very creepy, for a large intimidating looking bloke to sit down next to a woman on a two seater, when there are plenty of other seats free, for example.

Yes I agree. Being a woman I think that's partly why I don't like that feeling my space is being invaded, though I think it goes beyond that in my case. Mind you, I said the same on a similar thread once and was flamed for it. I suppose we all roll differently....

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

I don't think it is unreasonable provided you proactively move it when you see someone looking for a seat.

Yes, quite.

 

[bramling]

If you use public transport, you accept people will sit next to you. We live in a community. That's part of normal life.

When it’s busy, then of course. However the premise of the thread is a virtually empty train, in which case it’s entirely unreasonable - especially if people are then going to make a nuisance of themselves as the OP describes.

Normal life is also being courteous to each other, and invading someone else’s space is certainly not that.

 

[Oxfordblues]

Travelling in Spain once on a compulsory-reservations train we sat in our allocated seats in a bay of four round a table, Opposite us was another couple, but otherwise the carriage was completely empty. They never spoke and at the next station one of them alighted without saying goodbye. We surmised that they were in fact strangers to eachother and that the reservations system had allocated seats in a strictly sequential order so that our small corner of the carriage was full and the rest empty. No-one dared move to make more social-space for fear that a ticket inspector might fine them!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Travelling in Spain once on a compulsory-reservations train we sat in our allocated seats in a bay of four round a table, Opposite us was another couple, but otherwise the carriage was completely empty. They never spoke and at the next station one of them alighted without saying goodbye. We surmised that they were in fact strangers to eachother and that the reservations system had allocated seats in a strictly sequential order so that our small corner of the carriage was full and the rest empty. No-one dared move to make more social-space for fear that a ticket inspector might fine them!

Nobody fines you for sitting in a different seat on a European compulsory reservation train. It can just become a silly game of musical chairs if you do, as typically reservations aren't marked. So it's best sticking to your booked one.

 

[Topological]

I gave up worrying about behaviours a long time ago. People do some strange things when faced with choice.

If I am feeling really like I should move then I do, but otherwise I am in my little world

(This may be a coping mechanism for 4+ hours on a 150 to Manchester so often)

 

[Big Jumby 74]

Taking this back to the beginning of this thread (bramling has just beaten me to it !) I am a very private person in real life, and when travelling like to find my own bit of 'space' when possible, just to 'think', or read a book etc. When I join a 12 car off peak train at my local station, I will look for that space, which isn't too difficult in most such cases, and I would never deliberately plonk myself down next to or very near to anyone else, if there are copious other seats available. It's just polite manners to my way of thinking. I try to treat others as I would wish to be treated, which is why such instances as that I mentioned up thread, are very bizarre, and does leave one thinking what was that all about...may be I will make myself a small sign I can hang around my neck saying something like "Please respect my privacy and sit somewhere else".....

I gave up worrying about behaviours a long time ago. People do some strange things when faced with choice.

If I am feeling really like I should move then I do, but otherwise I am in my little world

(This may be a coping mechanism for 4+ hours on a 150 to Manchester so often)

One does come to that frame of mind eventually I do agree!