Trivia: Common railway related fallacies

[Watershed]

So is that to say that travel that doesn't involve London in the evening will be fine on an off-peak ticket?

It appears I've definitely fallen for this one then! Feel very stupid now as I've always been a bit wary of using an off peak ticket on evening services.

Regulated fares - which usually means the Off-Peak Return on longer journeys - cannot have evening peak restrictions outside of the London area (the boundary is Stevenage, Luton, Watford Junction and Reading).

There are, however, plenty of non-regulated Off-Peak fares which have evening peak restrictions, for example many Off-Peak Day Returns around large cities.

It's not as simple as saying there are either always or never any restrictions. You need to check the restriction code applying to the ticket in question.

 

[al78]

Timetables on the Southern network during strike action, a normal autumn gale, or an inch of snow.

On peak time commuter trains, there exists the magic carriage. This carriage contains ample seating, Mitchelin standard dining and topless dancing girls, and can be found by either walking along the platform to the front of the train, or walking up and down the carriages a minimum number of times.

 

[pdeaves]

Merry-go-round coal trains (when we had such things) didn't need to stop to load and unload.

I remember reports of some government inquiry or someone being interviewed in the house of lords or something similar. Anyway, a 'legal beagle'/MP kept asking the railway expert about the 'roundabout' trains to much confusion all round.

Another fallacy: the railways are run only by 'fat cats' who all skim off obscene levels of profit.

 

[D6975]

George Stephenson built "The Rocket" and Brunel built the whole of the Great Western Railway.

and Brunel was responsible for the current Temple Meads station.
Even Adam Hart Davies perpetuated this fallacy in a TV programme.

 

[Oxfordblues]

My non-railway friends seem to think that freight trains run at random and are regulated and looped at whim by signallers whose main aim is to prioritise passenger trains. There's no understanding that all freight trains run to schedules which have been validated to take account of any such potential conflicts.

And I often see captions in railway albums suggesting that front-line steam locomotives displaced by diesels had been downgraded or reduced in status because they're now seen hauling lowly freight trains. Never mind that freight was the lifeblood of the railways and generated more income than a few fast passenger trains.

 

[QueensCurve]

The reverser on a steam loco can look like a steering wheel too. One of my sets of grandparents are convinced that trains have steering wheels.

Although, at the other end of the spectrum- my sister; ‘doesn’t the driver of a train just push a button?’

That is, or used to be, the case on the Victoria Line. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[pdeaves]

(Usually seen when very little people are taken on the train): all trains, even IETs [1], make chuff-chuff-chuff-whoo-whoo noises.

[1] insert other modern train type of your choice


Railways are always 100% punctual everywhere else in the world.

 

[PupCuff]

Whenever there's an incident somewhere on the railway, RAIB will do an investigation for everyone to read about a few months later.

 

[Mag_seven]

The view amongst TV programme makers that rail enthusiasts are only interested in steam not diesel or electric or anything modern.

 

[40129]

That conductors can only sell tickets to stations directly served by the train that they're on.

That the phrase "Valid on Avanti West Coast / TFW Rail only" means the ticket is valid on West midlands Railway / London Northwestern Railway because the ticket barrier accepted them.

 

[gingertom]

..... that Chris Grayling actually understood his brief.

 

[Gloster]

..... that Chris Grayling actually understood his brief.

No, I don’t think anyone believed that, with the possible exception of Grayling himself.

 

[midland1]

The Rocket was the first steam loco.

 

[Tracked]

Every train passing through my local station should stop and pick passengers up, including expresses and (sometimes) freight, for the 3 minute journey into town ...

 

[norbitonflyer]

The Rocket was the first steam loco.

or, at least, that George Stephenson invented the steam locomotive.

William Huskisson was the first person to be killed by a train (Not true - for example a boiler explosion in 1815 killed fifteen people, and there were many fatalities caused by people being struck by trains on the early wagonways).

The "Flying Scotsman" is, for some reason, the only steam engine worth seeing.

Anything with a nose end is a Deltic (I have seen Class 37s referred to as such)

Any closed railway you may come across was Dr Beeching's doing.

 

[Ianno87]

Many children think steam trains are still ubiquitous, they have been on Thomas and Santa trips only, getting there by car of course.

I'd add: Grown ups whose perspective of the importance of rail freight is largely based on experiences of the Troublesome Trucks from Thomas the Tank Engine.

 

[Essexman]

That railways signals work like traffic lights - in particular that passing a yellow signal is risky.

and some from the press

That the words "locomotive" and "train" mean the same thing
That all trains are pulled by a locomotive
That freight trains have "carriages"

And that all passengers are commuters.

 

[mrcheek]

(Usually seen when very little people are taken on the train): all trains, even IETs [1], make chuff-chuff-chuff-whoo-whoo noises.

[1] insert other modern train type of your choice


Railways are always 100% punctual everywhere else in the world.

and similarly, all high speed trains make the whistling noise of a Valenta engine.

In one Virgin tv commercial, they even dubbed the sound on over a Pendolino....

 

[OuterDistant]

Reopening any railway line is simply a case of reinstating the track.

 

[SargeNpton]

That a covenant on the viaduct at Stockport meant that all trains passing through the town must call there.

 

[317666]

A GA-only ticket from Cambridge to London must be valid to King's Cross because it says London, despite the ticket machines having a pop-up window warning you that it isn't when you select it.

 

[Ashley Hill]

Anything with a nose end is a Deltic (I have seen Class 37s referred to as such)

Yes,when the pair of 40s came down are way recently one of our chaps at work asked if I'd seen the Deltic's and didn't they sound great .....!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

A GA-only ticket from Cambridge to London must be valid to King's Cross because it says London, despite the ticket machines having a pop-up window warning you that it isn't when you select it.

Where are they valid to? London Liverpool Street only? Do tickets show this as the destination rather than London Terminals? If not, why not?

 

[317666]

Where are they valid to? London Liverpool Street only? Do tickets show this as the destination rather than London Terminals? If not, why not?

Shown as London Terminals but valid on Greater Anglia services only, which from Cambridge is only to Liverpool Street. When you select London Terminals on the TVMs at Cambridge, a window pops up warning that GA only tickets are not valid to King's Cross, and you have to close it to continue. Though I agree it probably would be easier if they actually said London Liverpool Street on them instead!

 

[Mag_seven]

All passengers travelling first class are "fat cat" businessmen on expenses.

 

[Calthrop]

All railways that closed were down to Beeching and they were all unjust.

@Western Sunset says: "No stations or railway lines ever closed before Dr. Beeching."

@norbitonflyer says: "Any closed railway you may come across was Dr. Beeching's doing."

Yes, the total-and-invariable attribution to the B-man ... I suspect that this may be largely, because he just sounds so right for his role -- a tree-surgeon, or "doctor": pruning dead wood, or wrongfully cutting off and destroying live and healthy ditto, according to your point of view.

I've told of the following, previously on these Forums; but the prizewinning Beeching-attribution which has come my way to date: was some years ago, travelling on the preserved Dean Forest Railway on its section north of Lydney Town -- which stretch, an elderly fellow-passenger claimed to have been a victim of the Beeching Axe. That section of line had its passenger services withdrawn in 1929, when the Doctor-to-be was aged all of sixteen.

 

[Pinza-C55]

That a red signal with a vertical white bar is always called a Home Signal.

 

[Undiscovered]

A train that is already two minutes behind time should wait for boarding passengers to complete their elaborate farewells/saunter down the platform with a coffee /unload luggage from a taxi, before departing.

 

[Sm5]

Any trains name begins with “The”.
assuming when complaining to staff, they actually care.
When reading “sorry…” on twitter that the toc actually means it.
The customer is always right
Cheaper fares are available
Unions think passengers are on their side
All stations have toilets
Trains wait for connections
All trains have a guard
passengers can bring unlimited luggage
First class is any good
that a buffet car has actually got a buffet.
that a restaurant car has actually got a restaurant
refreshments are refreshing
passengers listen to onboard announcements
Express trains are actually express
Fireman put out fires
Delay repay is for refunds
The West country is close
Scotland is small
One train a day means a destination is served
Someone is going to read a comments / feedback card

And more recently..
just because a diesel is loud, means its not environmentally friendly.
an electric train running on batteries.. is more environmentally friendly.
Battery powered trains are a new thing.
Freight trains can solve the HGV crisis
Ongoing reincarnate belief since the 1950s that Demand exists for small bulk freight point to point daily between London and Scotland
and
GBR need new station signs
GBR is the answer to the railways problems

 

[Ianno87]

That railway staff make decisions for no other reason than to deliberately annoy passengers.