Unhelpful automated announcements

[ChiefPlanner]

The stupid loop they have on at Luton Airport Parkway is infuriating for any passenger who stays in the station for more than a minute

The one about not using the stairs with luggage, use the lift

Agreed , like Chinese water torture and totally and utterly unneccesary. This really is Elf and Safety culture overkill x 1000.

 

[370001]

I have frequently heard Phil Sayer at Woking inform me :

"We are sorry to announce that the xx:yy, SouthWestTrains service to London Waterloo has been cancelled due to... We are very sorry for any inconvenience to your journey".

Clearly has nothing in the database to explain the delay!!

 

[DazCM]

I've heard the 1620 from Bromley South to Victoria announced more than once with the immortal line :-

"This train is formed of ... coaches"

Must be a relief to the passengers, those open wagons are a bit draughty in the winter.

 

[34Short]

"Bristol Temple Meads, This is Bristol Temple Meads".

Considering all the running boards I saw and the numerous announcements I heard, I would have never guessed that this was Bristol Temple Meads.

Must be fun for someone starting their journey. I.e - "I know I'm at Bristol Temple Meads, I'm not blind"

 

[LE Greys]

"Bristol Temple Meads, This is Bristol Temple Meads".

Considering all the running boards I saw and the numerous announcements I heard, I would have never guessed that this was Bristol Temple Meads.

Must be fun for someone starting their journey. I.e - "I know I'm at Bristol Temple Meads, I'm not blind"

That goes back to porters shouting out the station name, presumably to tell visually-impaired or illiterate passengers where they were, although they really ought to do that only when trains have just arrived, and its not so easy to hear an external announcement inside a modern train, so it's outdated.

 

[jon0844]

If this is the system with Phil Sayer, it's designed to alert people ON the train as to where they are - then detailing the stopping pattern primarily for those on the platform.

It's a really good idea, especially on trains without a working (or any) CIS.

I was very disappointed when the new Atos system stopped doing that (or never did it) and thought it was a real step backwards. At night on a FCC 313, at some stations it's near impossible to see what station you are at so hearing that is very reassuring.

 

[fgwrich]

I was very disappointed when the new Atos system stopped doing that (or never did it) and thought it was a real step backwards. At night on a FCC 313, at some stations it's near impossible to see what station you are at so hearing that is very reassuring.

That ATOS system on FGW is Awful - It's absolutly hopeless in times of disruption such as tonight, and seems to spend most of it's time at Newbury blouting out 'Junk' announcements about smoking / Security - made worse by the balance of Annie on the down, and Rodger on the up. :roll:

(Then again, FGW was equally absolutly hopeless in disruption tonight, cheers 150001!)

 

[WL113]

Agreed , like Chinese water torture and totally and utterly unneccesary. This really is Elf and Safety culture overkill x 1000.

Exactly like Birmingham New Street. Any regular passenger can recite the no smoking/cases and parcels/lifts etc etc verbatim. SHUT IT UP!!!!

 

[ng1980]

"Bristol Temple Meads, This is Bristol Temple Meads".

Considering all the running boards I saw and the numerous announcements I heard, I would have never guessed that this was Bristol Temple Meads.

Must be fun for someone starting their journey. I.e - "I know I'm at Bristol Temple Meads, I'm not blind"

This has been discussed before, and I must admit that Bristol Temple Meads is quite obvious.

I actually like it when they announce "[station], this is [station]" on TOCs where there is little or no on board information, and poor station signage.

An example is on Southeastern, where the 465s and 466s have visual displays showing a list of stations on the route but not the current location. it is not usual for drivers to make announcements (DOO) and anyway the PA systems on a very large percentage of trains do not work or are not audible. And of course, not every window or door can sit directly opposite a station sign.

But I do agree with you, and other posters on another thread when we are talking about modern stock with both reliable visual and audible announcements, it is not necessary.

 

[ainsworth74]

I think on TPE those sorts of announcements actual do work quite well as they follow the pattern of (for example): "This is York. This train will be calling at Malton, Seamer and Scarborough". Which provides information on where you are and where the train is going, which is useful for both those on board and those joining the train.

 

[PR1Berske]

I heard a belter at Blackpool today

"...this train originates here"



NO!! Really?

 

[cointreau_rove]

I liked the one at Bath Spa about 18 months ago: "the train now approaching platform 1 is not due to stop at this station - please stand well back from the platform edge".

Except the train did indeed stop and turned out to be the regular service to Bristol.

Until you've seen a platform of confused British commuters you haven't seen anything.

Bath Spa has the "joy" for me of the out of sequence automated annoucements too

We get "The train now approaching Platform 1 is....." with no train in sight. The the classic follow oon "The train now standing at Platform 1 is the......" only the train is still on approach.

As unhelpful as it can get for anyone unure of what is actually going on.

C

 

[David Goddard]

Class 458 units pull up at a station and the door buttons light up. Passengers then open the doors and start to get on and off.
Ten seconds later "The Door Buttons are now activated" comes out over the loudspeakers.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

An announcement following the usual announcement for Liverpool-Norwich at Liverpool Lime Street

"Due to a technical reason this train will not call at.... Grantham.... today."

Can they not have a greater range of automated announcements options and say things like
"Due to emergency engineering works..."
"A replacement bus service is running between... and ...."

This happened on Friday 06 July, due to flooding, and so the Norwich trains ran via Oakham while Skegness services used the avoiding line.

At Nottingham- 16:40 an announcement advised that a replacement bus to Grantham would leave at 17:00. At 16:50 this was replaced with "A replacement bus will leave at 16:50". Umm... TOO LATE!

 

[WelshBluebird]

Bristol Parkway is pretty bad sometimes. Not sure if they are changing between systems or if it is just set up badly, but they have two "voices" that announce different services. Normally its fine, but sometimes you will get two announcements at the same time, both people played on the same platform. Meaning neither announcement is really understandable.

 

[johnnychips]

This week I have been driven mad on planes, trains, at stations and airports by announcements about not forgetting or leaving unattended my 'personal belongings'. Why the 'personal'? Whose other belongings do I need to be responsible for?!

 

[cointreau_rove]

Yes indeed.

There's part of me that thinks it's a mischievous ploy to confuse the high number of Orientals that seem to find Bath a fascinating place to frequent.

Although once I knew what was going on I found the "the train now standing at Platform 1 is the......" announcement amusing seeing as it caused the punters to leg it frantically up the stairs because they thought they might miss their train.......only for the reality to dawn on them once they reached the top of the steps puffing, panting and redfaced that they had shedloads of time because the announcements are at least 30 seconds out of synch.

Quite so - I often see large numbers of very pleasant Japanese tourists arriving and departing and am amazed at the size of the bags they wheel around!. Very veryy polite and pleasant when I have engaged them in conversation on the train.

I know what you mean about the stairs too - quite a climb, especially for me with dicky legs BUT we now have super duper lifts to the platforms and I can hear a HST arriving and know I will get on board even waiting for the lift - bliss.

C

 

[es373]

BoJo's announcement at Paddington station irritates me....

 

[island]

BoJo's announcement at Paddington station irritates me....

And every other station too

 

[philjo]

The announcement played at GN stations: "Good afternoon. We are pleased to report that First Capital Connect is operating a Good Service today."

Generally when I hear that I find that something will go wrong within the next hour! Last time I heard it the next service was already showing as cancelled!

Someone I was traveling with was listening to their headphones so didn't hear the announcement properly - she thought it was saying that FCC were operating a bus service today!

 

[LE Greys]

This week I have been driven mad on planes, trains, at stations and airports by announcements about not forgetting or leaving unattended my 'personal belongings'. Why the 'personal'? Whose other belongings do I need to be responsible for?!

"My personal belongings are here, but I've left the dispatch bag in the rack, the company briefcase on top of it and Aunt Agatha's trunk is in the van."

 

[PHILIPE]

I was at Bristol Temple Meads today and the 15 00 XC to Manhester was being announced. The tail lights were passing the end of the platform

 

[IanXC]

Why the 'personal'? Whose other belongings do I need to be responsible for?!

Perhaps its an amnesty for stolen goods!

 

[PR1Berske]

Stuck at MAN tonight for over 4 hours. If I ever hear "This is a security announcement...." and "Platforms may be slippery" one more time, I'll have to go on a killing spree.

 

[jon0844]

I always wondered why some announcements told me to take ALL my belongings with me when leaving the train, given most of my belongings were kept at home.

 

[317666]

I did hear a stutter from the ATW woman at Barmouth once, who announced the train would be calling at "...Criccieth, Penychain, Abererererererererererch, and Pwllheli."

I've also noticed the woman at Manchester Piccadilly says 'Bristol Temple Meads' really quietly.

 

[brumrich]

I caught a BHI-BHM local a couple of weeks ago, announced the next stop then without missing a beat implored me to keep all of my personal belongings with me, none of the because they might be destroyed or damaged by the security services just to keep them with me, I had to chuckle.

 

[pemma]

I've also noticed the woman at Manchester Piccadilly says 'Bristol Temple Meads' really quietly.

The original recordings were made before the new XC franchise started so at the time of recording the routes were Virgin Trains services and didn't go to Bristol. "Bristol Temple Meads", "CrossCountry", "East Midlands Trains", "Buckshaw Parkway" etc. have all been added in to the system at a later date and it's very obvious. There's also some places the woman probably wasn't sure on the pronouncation and mumbled a bit - Lostock Gralam is one.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Stuck at MAN tonight for over 4 hours. If I ever hear "This is a security announcement...." and "Platforms may be slippery" one more time, I'll have to go on a killing spree.

When you hear the 'unattended items may be removed or destroyed without warning' one you must report any unattended Pacer train at the station.

 

[ng1980]

I did hear a stutter from the ATW woman at Barmouth once, who announced the train would be calling at "...Criccieth, Penychain, Abererererererererererch, and Pwllheli."

I've also noticed the woman at Manchester Piccadilly says 'Bristol Temple Meads' really quietly.

1. It sounds like a person trying to clear their throat of phlegm - that's good Welsh, isn't it?! (joking - I love cool Welsh people, I love Wales and I think the Welsh language needs to be preserved)

2. There was a decade after I moved out of Bristol where I always said "Bristol" really quietly. But I'm falling in love with the place every time I go back these days!

3. I'm not sure if it still happens, but at London Charing Cross, when they were announcing trains, the "Sandwich" sound file seemed really loud and it seemed to shout "Sandwich" at a higher volume than other stations on the route.

 

[PR1Berske]

I used my phone the other day to record some of TPE's on board classics but the quality isn't up to much. If I can do it again I will.

 

[stut]

I think the most unhelpful one lately is

"Hello folks! This is the mayor of London ... if you thought the Northern Line was bad now, just wait until next week!"

[may have made some of that up]

"Hello folks! This is the mayor of London. Well, this is it: the big one. As I said to Petronella Wyatt..."