Unnecessarily urgent/aggressive announcements

[danm14]

I was on a Bedford-bound Thameslink service this evening, intending to alight at City Thameslink. As the train pulled in, a man was making an announcement across the PA system at the top of his voice - loud enough to wake the dead. It consisted simply of the words "join the train at platform one" over and over again, with barely a pause for breath between shouts, to the extent it sounded more like a single word - "JOINATRAINAPLAFFORMONE".

I cannot begin to adequately describe the sense of urgency in the announcement. Without even slightly exaggerating, it sounded somewhere between the roars of a man seeking help as he was being repeatedly stabbed, and the shouts of an American police officer apprehending a suspect. The sheer sound of terror and urgency in the announcement led me to believe there was something incredibly serious happening - along the lines of an active terrorist attack or serious fire - and the station was being evacuated by means of the train. As a result, I remained on the train, and had to take a bus back towards City Thameslink from St. Pancras.

Just as the train doors were closing, the man made a slightly calmer announcement, along the lines of "The last service has now departed. Please leave the station immediately." Is an announcement of such an aggressive nature really deemed necessary over something so minor as the last service of the day? Given that it made me remain on the train unnecessarily, I can only imagine how disorientating this would be to, for example, a blind or otherwise disabled passenger.

 

[GRALISTAIR]

See it, say it, sorted

 

[175mph]

See it, say it, sorted

That railway catchphrase makes me think of Family Guy for some strange reason.

 

[lammergeier]

Hence why earphones, fully charged phone and a spotify subscription are now essential items when travelling on the UK rail network. I don't know of anywhere else where silence is viewed by management as something that needs to be filled with irritating, inane drivel.

 

[Sad Sprinter]

This is absolutely hilarious, had me laughing on my train home.

I know what you mean, I remember a particularly frantic announcer on Platform 13 at Clapham Junction some years ago which I remember saying at the time sounded like "the last train out of London before the aliens land" or something.

The automated announcements on station platforms have got worse since the pandemic. I counted 2 solid minutes of announcements on the Piccadilly Line the other day, and don't get me started with the dreaded, "this is a customer announcement" safety messages at Clapham Junction they play every two minutes as you slowly go mad waiting for your train.

The SWR 707s are awful, I can't stand the dreaded "we want every one of our customers to feel safe..." announcements that play literally before every station stop.

And don't forget the constant announcements at London Bridge about staff mistreatment, which seem to play every 30 seconds or so and sounds like you're getting a right telling off, then finishes with the rather meaningless "let's work together, to keep everyone safe". Work with who? Safe from what?

Earphones are definitely needed.