Advice for a southeastern prosecution letter

[wan1]

Hello all,

I was wondering if I could get some advice on a response drafted to southeastern to avoid court and being prosecuted.

I am early into my career and made a foolish mistake and I really don’t want to be prosecuted for this.

I bought a ticket from St John’s to London Bridge when I was travelling from Huldenborough to London Bridge.


They asked me for a St John’s postcode and when I couldn’t provide one they started filming. Once they started filming I told the truth and complied as they said the best thing to do is to tell the truth.

They said the best thing to do is offer an out of court settlement as they usually wish to avoid court.

My response is as follows;

Dear Members of Staff of Southeastern railway

On the 4th of April 2024 I made a terrible lapse of judgement to buy a non- valid ticket from St Johns to London Bridge rather than a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge. I bought this ticket as I was returning to Sevenoaks later that day in which I had purchased a full ticket for.

First and foremost, I would like to sincerely apologise for my foolish mistake. I made a terrible judgement, and I am sorry for the financial loss and any trouble you may have received from my actions.

I want you to also know that I have taken this time to deeply reflect, and I have learned from my mistakes. In the future I can ensure you that all journeys will be covered by a valid ticket and that this will never happen again. I also want you to know that I am prepared to make this situation right. I want you to know that I have shown full compliance and once I realised the severity of the situation, I have spoken nothing but the truth and complied with every part of the process to show I have reflected and learnt from my actions. As well as this compliance I am more than happy to compensate and cover any administrative costs and the short fares incurred. It is in my best interest if we could settle this matter out of court as I am early on in my career and would not like to mess up any prospects by one stupid decision.

Lastly, I hope you see that I am truly sorry for my actions. I have learnt my lesson and I can ensure you that this will never happen again. Once again, if we could please settle this matter out of court. I am more than happy to comply and corporate with any requirements needed to facilitate the settlement process.

Yours sincerely

 

[Mcr Warrior]

@wan1. Welcome to the forum. Have you actually received any correspondence or paperwork from the train company already? Also, was this a one-off incident (when you were stopped), or will inspection of your ticket purchasing history (easy enough for them to check if you've perhaps bought tickets online with the likes of Trainline) possibly indicate other instances of not having paid the correct fare(s)?

If you have received correspondence, could you now upload a copy of same, but with your name and address details suitably covered over or obscured, similarly any case reference number?

 

[wan1]

@wan1. Welcome to the forum. Have you actually received any correspondence or paperwork from the train company already? Also, was this a one-off incident (when you were stopped), or will inspection of your ticket purchasing history (easy enough for them to check if you've perhaps bought tickets online with the likes of Trainline) possibly indicate other instances of not having paid the correct fare(s)?

I have received the letter, this is the only time I have done it from this destination however there might be 1 or two instances for other destinations

I have received the letter, this is the only time I have done it from this destination however there might be 1 or two instances for other destinations

I have received the letter, this is the only time I have done it from this destination however there might be 1 or two instances for other destinations

I have never had a penalty fare either, majority on Trainline if I have bought a ticket it is for a full journey

@wan1. Welcome to the forum. Have you actually received any correspondence or paperwork from the train company already?

(If so, can you upload a copy of same, but with your name and address details suitably covered over or obscured, similarly any case reference number).

Also, was this a one-off incident (when you were stopped), or will inspection of your ticket purchasing history (easy enough for them to check if you've perhaps bought tickets online with the likes of Trainline) possibly indicate other instances of not having paid the correct fare(s)?

Hello sorry I replied to myself on the thread

@wan1. Welcome to the forum. Have you actually received any correspondence or paperwork from the train company already? Also, was this a one-off incident (when you were stopped), or will inspection of your ticket purchasing history (easy enough for them to check if you've perhaps bought tickets online with the likes of Trainline) possibly indicate other instances of not having paid the correct fare(s)?

If you have received correspondence, could you now upload a copy of same, but with your name and address details suitably covered over or obscured, similarly any case reference number?

 

[ikcdab]

Your reply needs editing. Looks like you have used chatgpt to write bits of it and it just doesn't read normally. It doesn't sound sincere and you don't sound as if you really care.
Imagine you were in the same room as the person you were writing to. What would you say face to face? Just write that down. Try reading it out loud to yourself.

 

[wan1]

Your reply needs editing. Looks like you have used chatgpt to write bits of it and it just doesn't read normally. It doesn't sound sincere and you don't sound as if you really care.
Imagine you were in the same room as the person you were writing to. What would you say face to face? Just write that down. Try reading it out loud to yourself.

Okay I do really care, that’s bad if it comes across like that, I will rewrite and post again

 

[ikcdab]

Okay I do really care, that’s bad if it comes across like that, I will rewrite and post again

Instead of "I want you to also know that I have taken this time to deeply reflect, and I have learned from my mistakes. In the future I can ensure you that all journeys will be covered by a valid ticket and that this will never happen again."

Why don't you just say:
"I have learned from this mistake and in future I will make sure that I always have a valid ticket for my journey"

Bear in mind that they are only charging you for one incident. You haven't said if you have done this previously (and you don't need to say here) and so keep everything in the singular. "Mistakes" sounds like you have done it before and might make them dig deeper. They might do this anyway, especially if you bought tickets online.

Chatgpt is awful for these things. It is overly wordy and overblown. Where you have written it yourself, such as the phrase " I am early on in my career and would not like to mess up any prospects by one stupid decision." Then it actually reads ok.

Post your own version here and we will give you more feedback.

 

[wan1]

Instead of "I want you to also know that I have taken this time to deeply reflect, and I have learned from my mistakes. In the future I can ensure you that all journeys will be covered by a valid ticket and that this will never happen again."

Why don't you just say:
"I have learned from this mistake and in future I will make sure that I always have a valid ticket for my journey"

Bear in mind that they are only charging you for one incident. You haven't said if you have done this previously (and you don't need to say here) and so keep everything in the singular. "Mistakes" sounds like you have done it before and might make them dig deeper. They might do this anyway, especially if you bought tickets online.

Chatgpt is awful for these things. It is overly wordy and overblown. Where you have written it yourself, such as the phrase " I am early on in my career and would not like to mess up any prospects by one stupid decision." Then it actually reads ok.

Post your own version here and we will give you more feedback.

I am just about to write it, if this is my first offence as in I’ve never had a penalty fare or been caught before should I mention jt

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I am just about to write it, if this is my first offence as in I’ve never had a penalty fare or been caught before should I mention jt

Just to be quite clear, have you ever short fared, and/or not paid the correct fare(s), on other journeys (possibly different routes), but just not been stopped/caught?

 

[ikcdab]

I am just about to write it, if this is my first offence as in I’ve never had a penalty fare or been caught before should I mention jt

if this is genuinely the first and only time that you have evaded fares (and not just the first time you have been caught...) then its worth saying it. But you must be truthful because you dont knw what other evidence they may have. So if you have evaded fares before and just not been caught, then best not to say anything.

 

[wan1]

Just to be quite clear, have you ever short fared, and/or not paid the correct fare(s), on other journeys (possibly different routes), but just not been stopped/caught?

Yes correct

if this is genuinely the first and only time that you have evaded fares (and not just the first time you have been caught...) then its worth saying it. But you must be truthful because you dont knw what other evidence they may have. So if you have evaded fares before and just not been caught, then best not to say anything.

Dear Members of Staff of Southeastern railway

I am writing to express my accounts of what happened on the 4th April 2024. On the 4th April 2024 I made a terrible mistake and I foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge. Later that day I bought a full ticket to Sevenoaks to return to as this station is my main station.

Firstly, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my mistake. I made a severe lapse of judgment which has caused you financial loss and administrative troubles.

Secondly, I want you to know that this has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from this mistake and I can ensure that for future journeys I will always have a valid ticket and that this will never happen again.

I also want you to know that I have shown full compliance. I have told the truth and I’m telling the truth when I say it was a stupid mistake. As well as showing full compliance, I want you to know that I am prepared to make this right. I am more than happy to pay for the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred as a result of my actions. It is in my best interest to settle this matter out of court as I am early on in my career and any criminal prosecution would be extremely detrimental to my future career prospects. More importantly, it may stop me from fulfilling my dream which is to travel the world.

Above all, I truly am sorry and I hope you can see that i have learnt from my mistake. If we could please settle this matter out of court I am more than happy to comply and cooperate with any requirements needed to make an out of court agreement possible.

Yes correct


Dear Members of Staff of Southeastern railway

I am writing to express my accounts of what happened on the 4th April 2024. On the 4th April 2024 I made a terrible mistake and I foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge. Later that day I bought a full ticket to Sevenoaks to return to as this station is my main station.

Firstly, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my mistake. I made a severe lapse of judgment which has caused you financial loss and administrative troubles.

Secondly, I want you to know that this has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from this mistake and I can ensure that for future journeys I will always have a valid ticket and that this will never happen again.

I also want you to know that I have shown full compliance. I have told the truth and I’m telling the truth when I say it was a stupid mistake. As well as showing full compliance, I want you to know that I am prepared to make this right. I am more than happy to pay for the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred as a result of my actions. It is in my best interest to settle this matter out of court as I am early on in my career and any criminal prosecution would be extremely detrimental to my future career prospects. More importantly, it may stop me from fulfilling my dream which is to travel the world.

Above all, I truly am sorry and I hope you can see that i have learnt from my mistake. If we could please settle this matter out of court I am more than happy to comply and cooperate with any requirements needed to make an out of court agreement possible.

Please feel free to make any changes or any details. I received the letter on Monday and want to send it off by the weekend. Is it worth sending it with a first class stamp?

 

[ikcdab]

Yes correct


Dear Members of Staff of Southeastern railway

I am writing to express my accounts of what happened on the 4th April 2024. On the 4th April 2024 I made a terrible mistake and I foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge. Later that day I bought a full ticket to Sevenoaks to return to as this station is my main station.

Firstly, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my mistake. I made a severe lapse of judgment which has caused you financial loss and administrative troubles.

Secondly, I want you to know that this has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from this mistake and I can ensure that for future journeys I will always have a valid ticket and that this will never happen again.

I also want you to know that I have shown full compliance. I have told the truth and I’m telling the truth when I say it was a stupid mistake. As well as showing full compliance, I want you to know that I am prepared to make this right. I am more than happy to pay for the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred as a result of my actions. It is in my best interest to settle this matter out of court as I am early on in my career and any criminal prosecution would be extremely detrimental to my future career prospects. More importantly, it may stop me from fulfilling my dream which is to travel the world.

Above all, I truly am sorry and I hope you can see that i have learnt from my mistake. If we could please settle this matter out of court I am more than happy to comply and cooperate with any requirements needed to make an out of court agreement possible.


Please feel free to make any changes or any details. I received the letter on Monday and want to send it off by the weekend. Is it worth sending it with a first class stamp?

mmm. If you were to read this out loud to someone sitting in the same room, then would it sound OK? What does "I also want you to know that I have shown full compliance." really mean?
It does read as if you have used chatGPT or something similar.
Imagine you were havign a conversation with someone in the same room - is this really the language you would use?
I might just start with "I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.
This was a severe lapse of judgment which has caused you financial loss and administrative troubles. I would like to offer my sincere apologies for this."
Just write it in plain, ordinary language and avoidf repetition.
if you want to revise it, come back with a new version for comment.

 

[Brissle Girl]

I’d definitely ditch the bit about your dream being to travel the world (when you can’t even travel to work without fare dodging), and that this is more important than even your career.

It smacks of “yeah, let me off, as I want to have fun” which is absolutely not the message you need to be giving.

 

[WesternLancer]

It’s way too long. A busy member of staff likely not to have time to read it all. Sorry to be harsh but edit it down if you can.

 

[island]

Yes correct


Dear Members of Staff of Southeastern railway

I am writing to express my accounts of what happened on the 4th April 2024. On the 4th April 2024 I made a terrible mistake and I foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge. Later that day I bought a full ticket to Sevenoaks to return to as this station is my main station.

Firstly, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my mistake. I made a severe lapse of judgment which has caused you financial loss and administrative troubles.

Secondly, I want you to know that this has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from this mistake and I can ensure that for future journeys I will always have a valid ticket and that this will never happen again.

I also want you to know that I have shown full compliance. I have told the truth and I’m telling the truth when I say it was a stupid mistake. As well as showing full compliance, I want you to know that I am prepared to make this right. I am more than happy to pay for the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred as a result of my actions. It is in my best interest to settle this matter out of court as I am early on in my career and any criminal prosecution would be extremely detrimental to my future career prospects. More importantly, it may stop me from fulfilling my dream which is to travel the world.

Above all, I truly am sorry and I hope you can see that i have learnt from my mistake. If we could please settle this matter out of court I am more than happy to comply and cooperate with any requirements needed to make an out of court agreement possible.


Please feel free to make any changes or any details. I received the letter on Monday and want to send it off by the weekend. Is it worth sending it with a first class stamp?

Close ChatGPT, write the letter in your own words, and make it about 70% shorter.

The salutation on a formal letter where you do not know the name of the recipient should be “Dear Sir/Madam”, not “Dear Members of Staff…”

 

[wan1]

Close ChatGPT, write the letter in your own words, and make it about 70% shorter.

The salutation on a formal letter where you do not know the name of the recipient should be “Dear Sir/Madam”, not “Dear Members of Staff…”

This was all in my own words idk why it’s showing as ChatGPT, I used another forum on here as a base so that might be why but I redone it, will redo at lunch as at work and post

If the date on my letter is the 10/4/2024 is this the date they posted it? It only arrived on the 15/4/2024 and I am worried that I have exceeded the 7 days

 

[Pushpit]

This was all in my own words idk why it’s showing as ChatGPT, I used another forum on here as a base so that might be why but I redone it, will redo at lunch as at work and post

It was the last two paragraphs that started life in ChatGPT at some point. Do you use the word "compliance" in your every day speech to friends and family? And "it is in my best interest..." bit, yes a computer will think like that, but the person reading it will take to it like a vat of cold tea. I think you can get away with the very last paragraph, but it can be made shorter. So focus on the paragraph "I also want you to know" - what do you really want to say, in your own words?

 

[wan1]

It was the last two paragraphs that started life in ChatGPT at some point. Do you use the word "compliance" in your every day speech to friends and family? And "it is in my best interest..." bit, yes a computer will think like that, but the person reading it will take to it like a vat of cold tea. I think you can get away with the very last paragraph, but it can be made shorter. So focus on the paragraph "I also want you to know" - what do you really want to say, in your own words?

Dear Sir/ Madam



I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.



I want you to know that I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. This was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies as my lapse of judgement has caused you financial and administrative trouble.





This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from my mistake and in the future I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions as this could be detrimental to my career prospects. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.



Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well and truely are sorry. As mentioned before this could be detrimental to my career so if we could please settle this matter out of court I would be more than happy to oblige with the process.



Yours sincerely

Dear Sir/ Madam



I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.



I want you to know that I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. This was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies as my lapse of judgement has caused you financial and administrative trouble.





This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I have learned from my mistake and in the future I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions as this could be detrimental to my career prospects. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.



Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well and truely are sorry. As mentioned before this could be detrimental to my career so if we could please settle this matter out of court I would be more than happy to oblige with the process.



Yours sincerely

If anyone could give any advice on this it would be appreciated. I appreciate all the responses so far

Dear Sir/ Madam

I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.

I want you to know that I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. This was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for any financial and administrative trouble you may have received .


This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions as this could be detrimental to my career prospects. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.

Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well and truely are sorry. As mentioned before this could be detrimental to my career so if we could please settle this matter out of court I would be more than happy to oblige with the process.

Yours sincerely

 

[Fermiboson]

I think “I want you to know” should be cut. Everything in the letter is there because you want them to know.

Cut the bits about how bad the consequences of a conviction would be. Not relevant to the TOC.

Please sounds pleading - “I would be very grateful if”

Add a bit in the 2nd paragraph showing you understand the public interest argument - “I realise fare evasion costs the taxpayer millions of £s every year and am sorry to have contributed to that” etc

 

[wan1]

Dear Sir/ Madam

I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.


I want you to know that I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. This was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for any financial and administrative trouble you may have received .


This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I realise fare evasion costs the taxpayer millions of pounds every year and am sorry to have contributed to that. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.

Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well an truely are sorry. As mentioned before I would be grateful if we could please settle this matter out of court and would be happy to oblige with the process.

Yours sincerely

Just realised I didn’t cut out the I want you to know

 

[Pushpit]

I think this is a better letter, and it would be wrong to over analyse. However you probably do want to correct this typo (and I prefer that you use your words since it comes across as genuine):
I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from my mistake, and that I am well and truly sorry.

 

[wan1]

Okay thank you

Dear Sir/ Madam

I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.


I want you to know that I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. This was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for any financial and administrative trouble you may have received .


This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I realise fare evasion costs the taxpayer millions of pounds every year and am sorry to have contributed to that. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.

Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well an truely are sorry. As mentioned before I would be grateful if we could please settle this matter out of court and would be happy to oblige with the process.

Yours sincerely

Just realised I didn’t cut out the I want you to know

If anyone else has any feedback or advice on this letter please let me know

Dear Sir/ Madam

I am writing about the incident on 4th April 2024 when I made a stupid mistake and foolishly bought a non-valid ticket from St John’s to London Bridge instead of a ticket from Hildenborough to London Bridge.

I acknowledge this was a stupid mistake. It was a severe lapse of judgement from me and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for any financial and administrative trouble you may have received .

This mistake has opened my eyes and has been a learning curve for me. I can ensure that I will always have a valid ticket and I will never make this mistake again. I realise fare evasion costs the taxpayer millions of pounds every year and I am sorry to have contributed to that. I really hope that this error on my behalf doesn’t result in criminal prosecutions. As such i want to make this right and I am more than happy to cover the cost of the original ticket plus any administrative costs you may have incurred.

Lastly, I would like to apologise again for any trouble my actions may have caused. I hope that from this you can see I have learnt from mistake and that I well and truely are sorry. As mentioned before I would be grateful if we could please settle this matter out of court. I would be more than happy to oblige with the process.

Yours sincerely

Thoughts?

 

[Hadders]

I think this version is fine to send. Please do keep updated with how you get on.

 

[wan1]

I think this version is fine to send. Please do keep updated with how you get on.

Thank you, I take it I just fill this out and then write it on the other side?

Also I take it I post it to the address given, is it worth using a first class stamp

 

[Brissle Girl]

If you are posting it, then I strongly urge you to send it First Class Signed For, so that you have proof of delivery. And keep a copy of it yourself too. (Take a photo of it on your phone if you don't have access to a copier.)

 

[Hadders]

Thank you, I take it I just fill this out and then write it on the other side?

I would print the letter on a separate sheet of paper, make sure it has you name, address and case reference number on it and make sure you sign it. Write 'see attached letter' on the forum and send the form and letter together in the same envelope.

I would send it 1st class Signed For so you can check it has been delivered. As said above keep a copy of the letter you've been sent and your reply in case you need them in future.

 

[wan1]

A lette

If you are posting it, then I strongly urge you to send it First Class Signed For, so that you have proof of delivery. And keep a copy of it yourself too. (Take a photo of it on your phone if you don't have access to a copi

I would print the letter on a separate sheet of paper, make sure it has you name, address and case reference number on it and make sure you sign it. Write 'see attached letter' on the forum and send the form and letter together in the same envelope.

I would send it 1st class Signed For so you can check it has been delivered. As said above keep a copy of the letter you've been sent and your reply in case you need them in future.

As in type the response letter and print that?

 

[Hadders]

A lette



As in type the response letter and print that?

Yes.

 

[wan1]

Yes.

Okay thank you, when done I will send a photo

Okay thank you, when done I will send a photo

Yes.

This look alright? Blurred is the address name and reference number

Yes.

Where it says if different from above regarding the bottom of the letter do I only fill it in if it is different- sorry for loads of questions this has made me really anxious

 

[Hadders]

This look alright? Blurred is the address name and reference number

That looks fine.

Where it says if different from above regarding the bottom of the letter do I only fill it in if it is different- sorry for loads of questions this has made me really anxious

You only need to complete that bit if you're name is different to the name of the person the letter was sent to.

 

[wan1]

That looks fine.


You only need to complete that bit if you're name is different to the name of the person the letter was sent to.

It didn’t include my middle name? So should I write that where it says forenames? I take it I fill the rest in eg date national insurance etc