Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[61653 HTAFC]

LOL. I do that sometimes, but then again I was taught how to control the speed and deceleration of a vehicle using the gears (not possible with those who drive an automatic).

When I was a kid, my dad would try and get from my grandparents to ours (a distance of about 9 miles) without having to stop for a red light- and us lads would bet (for pride only) on whether he'd do it or not. This would sometimes result in dad creeping up to the line trying to avoid stopping!
Eventually my older brother and I worked out it was more likely to succeed with the caravan on the back, due to the phasing of signals on the ring-road!

 

[WelshBluebird]

It probably doesn't meet the OP's requirement (i.e. not a "ban"), but anyone referring to Liebeck v McDonald's Restaurants as an example of frivolous legal action should be placed into the passenger seat of a parked car before having searingly hot coffee poured into their lap.

Indeed. People really need to actually read the whole story there before commenting!

 

[Gloster]

Adverts pushing something that is ‘flying off the shelves’, ‘will change the way’ or ‘that everybody is talking about’ when it is some obscure gadget of interest only to a small number of specialists. It is probably only obtainable through some obscure outlet registered in a tax-haven.

 

[nlogax]

Hyperbole in general.

(I think that covers half the loathed items on this thread)

 

[SteveM70]

I didn't know that, interesting!

United fans used to sing a song about him based on Rebel Rebel by Bowie

 

[WelshBluebird]

How about stupid meaningless phrases used by the government / media? Examples such as "Oven ready", "Freedom day", "levelling up" etc etc.

 

[adrock1976]

Certain words/names that seem to come from nowhere and all of a sudden end up being used daily, mostly either in newspaper print or by people responsible for delivering TV news. I think most of these words are made-up by the media anyway (no-one I know ever refers to Manchester as ‘Madchester’).

A few of these annoying media-friendly words that come to mind (and are really annoying) are:

• Jabbed
• Pingdemic
• Credit Crunch
• Staycation

...etc

Regarding "Madchester", was that started by the music press back in the days when the Manchester bands The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays shot to fame?

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Slightly off topic but former footballer Gary Neville's dad is called Neville Neville.

Was. He passed away in 2015.

 

[gg1]

Regarding "Madchester", was that started by the music press back in the days when the Manchester bands The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays shot to fame?

Pretty sure it was, although at the time Stourbridge had far superior bands to Manchester

 

[SteveM70]

Pretty sure it was, although at the time Stourbridge had far superior bands to Manchester

Yes and yes!

 

[westv]

Ban anybody who thinks LOL means "lots of love" from texting for 5 years.

 

[Bevan Price]

Pretty sure it was, although at the time Stourbridge had far superior bands to Manchester

Who were they, please ?

 

[The exile]

The use of “passed” as a euphemism fir “ died”. Always leaves me wondering whether it was wind or water.

 

[Techniquest]

Whoever it was that mentioned 'freedom day', I thoroughly agree there. Nothing of the friggin' sort! Now if it was something like the fall of the Soviet Union, and independence from it, that certainly qualifies as Freedom Day!

 

[Bald Rick]

Who were they, please ?

The Wonder Stuff
Pop Will Eat Itself
Ned’s Atomic Dustbin.

 

[pdeaves]

Waffle words just to make the report, press release, etc. longer and 'more impressive'. Just say what you want to say.

 

[ABB125]

Waffle words just to make the report, press release, etc. longer and 'more impressive'. Just say what you want to say.

I'm going to embrace the opportunity to unlock a potential suggestion and develop it such that it fulfills an opening in......

(I think I'll stop there! )

 

[birchesgreen]

I think people should stop using the Americanism "dropped" when talking about a new trailer or service being released over here. Dropped as a completely different meaning here, when i first saw them talk about a trailer being "dropped" i thought it had been banned.

 

[krus_aragon]

All American spellings and phrases should be banned in the UK with an 18 month prison sentence for those that don't comply.

May I have dispensation for my occasional Canadian English spellings, please?

(Seriously, there are several words where I have no idea whether I'm using the British or Canadian spellings, or both.)

 

[ungreat]

Brexiters from any foreign travel
Brexiters from any votes in future
Brexiters from anything that involved sensible thought!
Light the fuse....!!

 

[Gloster]

Drivers who draw to a stop at a pedestrian crossing because the lights are at red and then graciously wave the pedestrians across. Or who expect to be thanked because they have stopped when they are legally required to.

 

[Meerkat]

Drivers who draw to a stop at a pedestrian crossing because the lights are at red and then graciously wave the pedestrians across. Or who expect to be thanked because they have stopped when they are legally required to.

Bit grumpy!
As a driver I would only wave them across if they looked unsure if I was stopping, though I am wary of ‘guiding’ them (and taking some of the responsibility for checking it really is safe) - often I will do an exaggerated ‘hands off wheel’ gesture to show I ain’t going anywhere,
As a pedestrian I almost always wave thanks at zebra crossings - it’s just polite (a bar worker almost has to serve me, but I still say thanks!). I don’t at pelicans, presumably because there is far less choice for the driver.

 

[pdeaves]

I'm going to embrace the opportunity to unlock a potential suggestion and develop it such that it fulfills an opening in......

(I think I'll stop there! )

Exactly!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Ban anybody who thinks LOL means "lots of love" from texting for 5 years.

To be fair if anyone is still under that misapprehension in 2021 it would be cruel not to just leave them to it!

Drivers who draw to a stop at a pedestrian crossing because the lights are at red and then graciously wave the pedestrians across. Or who expect to be thanked because they have stopped when they are legally required to.

As a slight counter, the cyclist who years ago expected me, as a driver, to react quickly enough when she went from the adjacent cycle lane straight onto the Zebra crossing in front of her in one swift movement. I somehow magically managed to slam the anchors on and stop about 3 inches from her (luckily the traffic was flowing at about 20mph), but the look she gave me was as if I'd just been caught using her garden pond as a toilet. Naturally, I wound my window down and told her to have more respect for her own safety and vulnerability, which left her somewhat confused. I think she'd expected some choice language what with it being London (just).

 

[The Albion]

Trent Barton bus timetables in 12 hour formats. Ok, I understand that the company operates in a backward part of England, but just modernise.

 

[prod_pep]

As a pedestrian I almost always wave thanks at zebra crossings - it’s just polite (a bar worker almost has to serve me, but I still say thanks!). I don’t at pelicans, presumably because there is far less choice for the driver.

Yes, I would do the same at zebra crossings. It's just good manners and one thing I've always tried to be is polite.

As for being waved across when the driver was obliged to stop, I'd still offer a wave of thanks. They're just offering that reassurance it is safe to cross.

 

[hexagon789]

All the COVID-related discussion threads...

 

[Mcr Warrior]

All the COVID-related discussion threads...

Unfortunately, not comedic and hardly a "minor" thing.

But yes, would be good to get rid of, a.s.a.p.

 

[BanburyBlue]

I've got some supermarket niggles...
The following should all be illegal...

1. People who can't be bothered to take their trolley back to the trolley stand.
2. People who eat things before paying for them.
3. People who let their children sit in trolleys.

 

[507021]

I've thought of some more.

- EastEnders.
- eBay sellers who don't communicate, don't dispatch on time (without good reason) and/or profiteer on postage.
- George Galloway.
- Katie Hopkins.
- Messy and/or smelly food on public transport.
- People who have conversations loud enough for the whole street to hear.
- Shrinkflation.
- TV licences.