Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[adrock1976]

SNIP

You can claim back compo for each day if your internet speed drops below a level between your house and their things.

Would this still apply to me, as my ISP is Sky even though it is connected to the BT Openreach landline?

 

[High Dyke]

Those sort of retractable dogleads. If you can't control your dog, don't have one!

 

[Runningaround]

Would this still apply to me, as my ISP is Sky even though it is connected to the BT Openreach landline?

Doubt it unless SKY offer the same thing. BT do it if it drops before it reaches the hub(Supposed to) but you'd have to check it and report it every time it's low.

Those sort of retractable dogleads. If you can't control your dog, don't have one!

Some places you cannot let the dog off the lead regardless so letting it roam on a long lead is the alternative and you wind it in when your next to roads. Just like those the police handlers use, the dogs are well trained but stay on a lead.

 

[High Dyke]

Some places you cannot let the dog off the lead regardless so letting it roam on a long lead is the alternative and you wind it in when your next to roads. Just like those the police handlers use, the dogs are well trained but stay on a lead.

I appreciate that, but I'm thinking of times an owner allows the lead to extend, as the dog wanders away, but gives no thought for other pedestrians that may in the vicinity. I tend to stand still and make the owners realise how much of a nuisance they are.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Some places require that dogs be on fixed leads of maximum 2 metres length.

 

[Runningaround]

I appreciate that, but I'm thinking of times an owner allows the lead to extend, as the dog wanders away, but gives no thought for other pedestrians that may in the vicinity. I tend to stand still and make the owners realise how much of a nuisance they are.

Then it should be ban people who can't train a dog.

 

[Calthrop]

Then it should be ban people who can't train a dog.

Or types of dog which "can't be trained" -- often said of terriers. I have dearly-loved relatives; who live in total thrall to their two terriers -- which, ungoverned, rule the household and make life totally chaotic and mega-inconvenient for all who spend time there.

 

[LethalDrizzle]

Or types of dog which "can't be trained" -- often said of terriers. I have dearly-loved relatives; who live in total thrall to their two terriers -- which, ungoverned, rule the household and make life totally chaotic and mega-inconvenient for all who spend time there.

Our neighbours have three such dogs, all called "Shut up!". I would support a ban on these.

 

[Calthrop]

I have a fondness for the Basenji dog breed, from Africa. Owing to its unusually shaped larynx, it can't bark; it just gently yodels.

 

[duncanp]

Or types of dog which "can't be trained" -- often said of terriers. I have dearly-loved relatives; who live in total thrall to their two terriers -- which, ungoverned, rule the household and make life totally chaotic and mega-inconvenient for all who spend time there.

A few years ago I remember watching It's Me Or The Dog on TV, which was followed by Supernanny

There was a lot of similarity between out of control children (four year olds telling their parents to **** off) and out of control dogs.

The measures required to resolve the situation were also very similar - firm but fair discipline, and assertively (not agressively) letting the child/dog know who is in charge.

There are no dogs which "can't be trained", only owners who do not have the skills or knowledge to train them.

I would give the courts powers to ban people from owning a dog unless they have been on and passed a course which teaches them how to train and discipline their dog.

 

[gg1]

A few years ago I remember watching It's Me Or The Dog on TV, which was followed by Supernanny

There was a lot of similarity between out of control children (four year olds telling their parents to **** off) and out of control dogs.

The measures required to resolve the situation were also very similar - firm but fair discipline, and assertively (not agressively) letting the child/dog know who is in charge.

It's not uncommon for dogs to have a 'difficult teenager' stage too, ie well behaved and obedient until they're 6 to 9 months old, a complete nightmare for the next 12 months or so before calming down as they move into doggy adulthood.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

A few years ago I remember watching It's Me Or The Dog on TV, which was followed by Supernanny

There was a lot of similarity between out of control children (four year olds telling their parents to **** off) and out of control dogs.

The measures required to resolve the situation were also very similar - firm but fair discipline, and assertively (not agressively) letting the child/dog know who is in charge.

There are no dogs which "can't be trained", only owners who do not have the skills or knowledge to train them.

I would give the courts powers to ban people from owning a dog unless they have been on and passed a course which teaches them how to train and discipline their dog.

I'm pretty sure South Park did an episode that satirised "The Supernanny" by mixing in elements from "The Dog Whisperer".

 

[duncanp]

It's not uncommon for dogs to have a 'difficult teenager' stage too, ie well behaved and obedient until they're 6 to 9 months old, a complete nightmare for the next 12 months or so before calming down as they move into doggy adulthood.

I could quite believe that, but the extent to which adolescent children or dogs are a nightmare depends on how they are treated in early childhood.

If you indulge or spoil a puppy or a child, then they will grow up with a sense of entitlement which can cause problems in later years.

 

[Runningaround]

Or types of dog which "can't be trained" -- often said of terriers. I have dearly-loved relatives; who live in total thrall to their two terriers -- which, ungoverned, rule the household and make life totally chaotic and mega-inconvenient for all who spend time there.

But if both are happy in their home whose business is it of anyone else? if the dogs are uncared for or dangerous then that's when you get involved for the sake of the dogs
Almost all dogs can be trained you can have well trained Pitbulls and nuisance Chihuahuas. Some need lots of exercise, some need more company it's the owners who first need to choose the correct dog and first time owners, those who cannot exercise enough, have X amount of time to give and then there is the size and type of house you have a garden etc and finally wherever the dog is from a responsible seller or Dogs home will check up first.
Then again some of the best behaved dogs i've known are mongrels picked off the street and looked after by the homeless and the most aggressive are £1,200 plus working dogs that are bred and trained for one purpose.

5 o'clock games hows that aren't the Chase(not including Celebrity versions).
ITV cannot match it with the substitutes and Pointless is to slow spending hours on one question it's fine if it's Football or Geography but not Opera or Celebrity stuff. Presenters Boring and Smug have now hit saturation point by being on everything and need to follow Anne Robinson into obscurity.

 

[Madge Wildfire]

Passengers on Southeastern asking me about trains because I've got a bag that is vaguely in Southeastern colours, I am not staff so go away, I don't know what time the train to Wadhurst is coming, and to the woman who asked me how long the train to Paddock Wood is, 160 metres, love.

In the days when I used to commute by train, hardly a day went by when, after the PA system had announced that the train I was on would have first stop Bristol Parkway, a person would then board the train into my carriage and ask "Is this train the one for Bristol Parkway?".

Jeez, I'm surprised the country functions at all.

 

[Runningaround]

In the days when I used to commute by train, hardly a day went by when, after the PA system had announced that the train I was on would have first stop Bristol Parkway, a person would then board the train into my carriage and ask "Is this train the one for Bristol Parkway?".

Jeez, I'm surprised the country functions at all.

I have that when the trains already left the station, I pretend to worryingly ponder with ''I hope so''.
I often think would they drink out of a left open bottle and then ask ''What is this?''.

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Forums that merge you posts.

 

[Calthrop]

In the days when I used to commute by train, hardly a day went by when, after the PA system had announced that the train I was on would have first stop Bristol Parkway, a person would then board the train into my carriage and ask "Is this train the one for Bristol Parkway?".

I have that when the trains already left the station, I pretend to worryingly ponder with ''I hope so''.
I often think would they drink out of a left open bottle and then ask ''What is this?''.

Being contrary here -- might one speculate that many people have an unconscious reflex of suspicion and mistrust toward what they're told by faceless and anonymous authority; and that this can be, in its way, a healthy reaction -- it is far from unknown for such authority to be, vis-a-vis the "punters", manipulative and untruthful and not necessarily benign?

 

[Runningaround]

Being contrary here -- might one speculate that many people have an unconscious reflex of suspicion and mistrust toward what they're told by faceless and anonymous authority; and that this can be, in its way, a healthy reaction -- it is far from unknown for such authority to be, vis-a-vis the "punters", manipulative and untruthful and not necessarily benign?

But then why catch a train, wait for it to leave and then ask ''is this going to ?'' I find when I respond with an uncertainty they check the screens themselves. You never know the shock of the slight doubt I gave them might make them think to check before getting on in future.

 

[yorksrob]

But then why catch a train, wait for it to leave and then ask ''is this going to ?'' I find when I respond with an uncertainty they check the screens themselves. You never know the shock of the slight doubt I gave them might make them think to check before getting on in future.

Reassurance.

 

[Calthrop]

In the approximate words of the villain of one of my favourite time travel / alternative history novels: "If you're waiting for people to become rational -- you're going to have a long, dull wait".

 

[Runningaround]

Reassurance.

Bit late when it's left the station. If I said ''I don't know'' wouldn't that make them even more worried?

 

[D6130]

Many years ago an ex-girlfriend (although she wasn't 'ex' then) gave me as a birthday present a humorous book about commuting, the title of which I now forget. It was illustrated by the guy who used to do the 'Bristow' cartoons in the Evening Standard and one of the more memorable cartoons showed a bowler-hatted businessman sliding open a first class compartment door and asking the three occupants "Basingstoke?" They - obviously not wanting any more company - replied in turn "No....Newbury"; "Really?....I thought it was Winchester!" and "No....it's definitely Oxford!"

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Is it me, or was the Bristow character a doppelganger for a certain Dr R. Beeching?

 

[GoneSouth]

.Jeez, I'm surprised the country functions at all.

Can’t argue with that.

Reassurance.

Bit late for that if you’ve just left KX and the first stop is York

 

[py_megapixel]

Who is at the BBC who keeps spelling NATO as "Nato" in their online articles? It's obviously an acronym; why can't they capitalise it properly? They do it with UEFA as well.

We don't watch the Bbc news, we watch the BBC News. It shouldn't be that hard for a professional writer!!

 

[Techniquest]

Reassurance.

Agreed, sometimes one gets that irritating doubt pop up. The sort where you know it's the right train, but sometimes the brain will go 'hold on, is it?' and checking with someone else already on the train can be reassuring.

Bit late if the train has already left, if it is the wrong one, granted but it happens. It's just a quirk of the brain sometimes! I got on the wrong train in East Yorkshire once, thankfully it wasn't an issue as I was on a rover and the train was going to a place I was valid to. It did rather ruin my plans though, and to this day I haven't done that chord off the ECML towards Leeds. I'm having a dumb moment and I forget the name of the junction. Wait, that's it, Hambleton.

I made that mistake over 15 years ago, and it will forever annoy me. All because I joined a 185 at Brough instead of waiting the extra few minutes for the Northern service I was meant to be joining to Doncaster!

 

[Runningaround]

Agreed, sometimes one gets that irritating doubt pop up. The sort where you know it's the right train, but sometimes the brain will go 'hold on, is it?' and checking with someone else already on the train can be reassuring.

Bit late if the train has already left, if it is the wrong one, granted but it happens. It's just a quirk of the brain sometimes! I got on the wrong train in East Yorkshire once, thankfully it wasn't an issue as I was on a rover and the train was going to a place I was valid to. It did rather ruin my plans though, and to this day I haven't done that chord off the ECML towards Leeds. I'm having a dumb moment and I forget the name of the junction. Wait, that's it, Hambleton.

I made that mistake over 15 years ago, and it will forever annoy me. All because I joined a 185 at Brough instead of waiting the extra few minutes for the Northern service I was meant to be joining to Doncaster!

What gets me though is after leaving Manchester Piccadilly towards Crewe passengers ask ''is this going to Dewsbury''. At what point had they checked prior to boarding and are those checking tickets before boarding directing them to the correct train or even looking at tickets?
I'd be even more likely to double check first the when the TFW Cardiff via Shrewsbury train is on the same platform or near a Yorkshire bound train

 

[ABB125]

Misleading local news headlines. For example:

This suggests that all bus services in Gloucestershire have been cancelled.

Then you get to the actual text of the article:

So, in fact, Stagecoach haven't cancelled all services.

What the headline should actually say is "A list of all the Stagecoach bus services cancelled in Gloucestershire..."

Whether this is deliberate, in order to generate click/comments etc, or simply grammatical incompetence, I'm not sure.

 

[yorksrob]

Bit late when it's left the station. If I said ''I don't know'' wouldn't that make them even more worried?

Probably. But that's not what they're hoping to hear !

Agreed, sometimes one gets that irritating doubt pop up. The sort where you know it's the right train, but sometimes the brain will go 'hold on, is it?' and checking with someone else already on the train can be reassuring.

Bit late if the train has already left, if it is the wrong one, granted but it happens. It's just a quirk of the brain sometimes! I got on the wrong train in East Yorkshire once, thankfully it wasn't an issue as I was on a rover and the train was going to a place I was valid to. It did rather ruin my plans though, and to this day I haven't done that chord off the ECML towards Leeds. I'm having a dumb moment and I forget the name of the junction. Wait, that's it, Hambleton.

I made that mistake over 15 years ago, and it will forever annoy me. All because I joined a 185 at Brough instead of waiting the extra few minutes for the Northern service I was meant to be joining to Doncaster!

I've got on many wrong trains in my time.

 

[Ediswan]

Misleading local news headlines. For example:

Whether this is deliberate, in order to generate click/comments etc, or simply grammatical incompetence, I'm not sure.

Pretty much standard for Reach plc. I suspect entirely deliberate. HertsLive, same owner, same web site template, is just as bad.