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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

GatwickDepress

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They should have the same music piped into their offices as they subject shop staff and customers to. Three months of the same tinny carols would learn ‘em.
Even outside of Christmas - working a 10 hour shift at the service desk at Tesco with 'Don't Stop Me Now' and 'That's Amore' playing multiple times an hour genuinely drove me to madness, especially as one of the speakers was right above the desk.
 
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GusB

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Even outside of Christmas - working a 10 hour shift at the service desk at Tesco with 'Don't Stop Me Now' and 'That's Amore' playing multiple times an hour genuinely drove me to madness, especially as one of the speakers was right above the desk.
I served a sentence worked at McDonald's for a few months in the early 90s and when they did their Happy Meal promotion in conjunction with the release of the Lion King film, we had the soundtrack on a loop for 4 very, very long weeks. To this day I avoid it if it's on the telly, and I have a strange reaction whenever I hear Elton John's "Can you feel the love tonight"; it'd be fair to say that my feelings are about as far away from love as is possible!
 

AM9

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I served a sentence worked at McDonald's for a few months in the early 90s and when they did their Happy Meal promotion in conjunction with the release of the Lion King film, we had the soundtrack on a loop for 4 very, very long weeks. To this day I avoid it if it's on the telly, and I have a strange reaction whenever I hear Elton John's "Can you feel the love tonight"; it'd be fair to say that my feelings are about as far away from love as is possible!
Public facing jobs are not for everyone and those who can't handle it shouldn't take those jobs. So clearly some do like dealing with the public, (for what it's worth I don't and having worked in a Lyons Teashop as a saturday/holiday job whilst at school, made sure that I didn't work in the retail sphere throughout my adult working life).
 

Richard Scott

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Public facing jobs are not for everyone and those who can't handle it shouldn't take those jobs. So clearly some do like dealing with the public, (for what it's worth I don't and having worked in a Lyons Teashop as a saturday/holiday job whilst at school, made sure that I didn't work in the retail sphere throughout my adult working life).
Be able to deal with the public and having to put up with annoying music are two totally different things.
 

Purple Train

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It is a month until Christmas. Christmas carols are not for playing before the start of Advent, let alone in October.

This is why I am useless at Christmas presents: I actively refuse to go into any form of shop anywhere near Christmas because all that will happen is that I will get seriously annoyed by yet another shop playing stupid so-called carols on loop!
 

dangie

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The most annoying thing to me is that I have family members who absolutely love Christmas and can’t get enough of it. If it started in January they’d be happy.

Christmas Day for them will be full Christmas Dinner, afternoon of television, chocolates, sleeping, belchng & farting, then evening all you can stuff yourself with buffet, then the traditional party games.

I’ll go for my Christmas Dinner then go home.

…. and even more most annoying is that the adults are in their 40’s with teenage children and they expect me to love it just the same and call me a miserable old *!!**!!*.

Something I can live with.

********************

’Celebrity’ Mastermind
Now I’m not saying for one minute that celebrities on Celebrity Mastermind should be to Brain of Britain standard, but I do think there should be some form vetting to establish whether they actually know anything or not.
 
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daveo

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Football commentators droning on about league positions in November!! - so some clubs are in the relegation positions before Christmas. So What?????
 

AM9

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Today's annoyance:
Pedestrians who don't know which side of the road to walk on when there is no pavement.
Or which side of the pavement to walk when it is beside moving traffic, (clue is that the same danger exists to a slightly lesser degree).
 

D6130

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Today's annoyance:
Pedestrians who don't know which side of the road to walk on when there is no pavement.
You should tell that to people here in Italy, who have absolutely no idea of the concept of walking on the side of the road facing on-coming traffic....even though it's the other side of the road from that appertaining in the UK and Ireland.
 

61653 HTAFC

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Can I "ban" Wakefield Westgate Station? No fewer than four different outlets that serve coffee, and all are closed by 6pm. Sure, it's a Sunday... but there are dozens of people getting off every train, if one of the cafés stayed open they'd make an absolute killing!

Another one- Amazon's logistics operation and tracking. Sometimes you can view your item on a map, but sometimes this option isn't available. Not only that, but I can see from their updates that my package started off this morning in Leeds (at a site about 8 miles away from my home), but was then sent to Sheffield (a site almost 30 miles from my home) to be sorted for the final leg!
 
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Gloster

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People who, when crossing the road at a pelican or zebra crossing in the opposite direction to a crowd, cross diagonally and cause chaos (well, a certain amount of annoyance) as people have to dodge them. Can’t you just go straight across the road and then turn right or left once the crowd has gone.
 

Busaholic

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People who, when crossing the road at a pelican or zebra crossing in the opposite direction to a crowd, cross diagonally and cause chaos (well, a certain amount of annoyance) as people have to dodge them. Can’t you just go straight across the road and then turn right or left once the crowd has gone.
Maybe they've got crabs. ;)
 

Mcr Warrior

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See what you've done there! :)

If we're heading down that particular avenue of comedic "things you would ban"... I'll go with Brendan O'Carroll ("Agnes Brown") and all the other less than funny characters in BBC1's supposedly hilarious "Mrs. Brown's Boys" sitcom.
 

Altrincham

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I would ban snacks, drinks, and any food in an auditorium (both theatre and cinema).

The last time I went to the cinema (about 10 years ago), I found myself in an empty auditorium waiting for the film one quiet Sunday lunchtime. Just before the film started, 2 people arrived and sat down on the same row and with just a spare seat in-between. What became immediately apparent was that they had just visited the neighbouring Sainsburys and purchased various pieces of hot roasted chicken, which they proceeded to eat and stink the place out.

I’ve not been back to a cinema since.

I have had various trips to the theatre fairly recently, and on each occasion there would be a period of quiet dialogue in a play (or a pause in a scene), which would be distracted by the constant rustle and unwrapping of packaging. In stereo.
 

Purple Train

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See what you've done there! :)

If we're heading down that particular avenue of comedic "things you would ban"... I'll go with Brendan O'Carroll ("Agnes Brown") and all the other less than funny characters in BBC1's supposedly hilarious "Mrs. Brown's Boys" sitcom.
If we're moving on to this subject, I would like to nominate Jimmy Carr. He is so infantile - I can't stand him! To a lesser extent, I would also like to nominate all the "comedians" who haven't really grown up since the age of eight and are still convinced that swearing and toilet humour are the most hilariously funny thing in their entire life. If a joke isn't clever, it isn't funny, and, if you wouldn't say it at dinner with the Archbishop of Canterbury, don't say it on national television.

I have quite a lot more to say about the standard of modern comedy and my opinion of the "comedians" I most disapprove of - but I don't really think that a long, incoherent rant would brighten your Tuesday!
 

bspahh

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If we're moving on to this subject, I would like to nominate Jimmy Carr. He is so infantile - I can't stand him! To a lesser extent, I would also like to nominate all the "comedians" who haven't really grown up since the age of eight and are still convinced that swearing and toilet humour are the most hilariously funny thing in their entire life. If a joke isn't clever, it isn't funny, and, if you wouldn't say it at dinner with the Archbishop of Canterbury, don't say it on national television.

I have quite a lot more to say about the standard of modern comedy and my opinion of the "comedians" I most disapprove of - but I don't really think that a long, incoherent rant would brighten your Tuesday!
Comedy is easy to measure. If a professional comedian says something that doesn't make you laugh, but makes others laugh, that means that you are not the target audience.
 

Howardh

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What happened to mud flaps? Driving round my windscreen was splattered by slush/salt off the road; and yes, I don't have mudflaps either!
 

Purple Train

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Comedy is easy to measure. If a professional comedian says something that doesn't make you laugh, but makes others laugh, that means that you are not the target audience.
I suppose, but most of the comedy on TV nowadays seems to be aimed at that same market. Whether it's the mark of a population that is remaining eight years old, as opposed to comics remaining eight, I'm not quite sure!
 

bspahh

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I suppose, but most of the comedy on TV nowadays seems to be aimed at that same market. Whether it's the mark of a population that is remaining eight years old, as opposed to comics remaining eight, I'm not quite sure!
Jimmy Carr was a co-author on a thoughtful book on the mechanics of jokes (The Naked Jape). Jokes with Mark is a podcast on how to fix jokes that don't work.

Comedians don't swearing thoughtlessly. Its scripted, practiced and tested. They do it because it makes people laugh, but it needs the timing, and rhythm to be right or it won't work.
 

ls2270

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I suppose, but most of the comedy on TV nowadays seems to be aimed at that same market. Whether it's the mark of a population that is remaining eight years old, as opposed to comics remaining eight, I'm not quite sure!
I couldn’t agree more…’comedy’ consists of just juvenile slapstick and swearing nowadays. Morecambe and Wise and the Two Ronnies must be turning in their graves!
 

gg1

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I couldn’t agree more…’comedy’ consists of just juvenile slapstick and swearing nowadays. Morecambe and Wise and the Two Ronnies must be turning in their graves!
Perfect example of how different people see humour in different ways.

Those were two of my parents favourites but I never found Morecambe and Wise especially funny, they had their moments but most of the time they didn't do anything for me at all. I did quite like the Two Ronnies though and rate Porridge as the best sitcom of it's era.
 

bspahh

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Perfect example of how different people see humour in different ways.

Those were two of my parents favourites but I never found Morecambe and Wise especially funny, they had their moments but most of the time they didn't do anything for me at all. I did quite like the Two Ronnies though and rate Porridge as the best sitcom of it's era.
A lot of humour depends on the context. I've got a box set of Goodies DVDs which came with a book that explains the jokes, which is interesting, but rather kills the humour.

I like I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and I've got MP3 files for 562 episodes back to 1972. Singing one song to the tune of another doesn't work as a joke when you don't recognise either the lyrics or the tune. It just becomes a very bad song. The same thing happens if you don't get cultural references to songs from the 2020s and not the 1920s.

David Mitchell once said that if you were a chef, and could cook a nice recipe, people would be happy to come back over and over again and have the same recipe. People don't want to hear the same jokes repeatedly. Even if you laughed the first time, it becomes a smile when you hear it again. People want jokes which are similar, but different.

Ronnie Barker was a genius, and I have fond memories of being in the audience for the One Ronnie, on Ronnie Corbett's 80th birthday. At one point in that he was playing a game show host, with David Walliams and Matt Lucas as the contestants. Corbett skipped down some stairs, tripped up and fell flat on his face. There was a shocked silence for a couple of seconds. Had we just broken Ronnie Corbett? He was fine and was able to carry on.

Back on topic ... Christmas music in supermarkets
 
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61653 HTAFC

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People who damage your car in supermarket car parks, and then just f*** off rather than either reporting their mistake to the supermarket or leaving a note on the car they've damaged with their contact details. I've just had to spend 20mins outside in the cold temporarily patching up my damaged wing mirror, and will have to go round breakers yards to find a replacement in the next few days.
 

AM9

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People who damage your car in supermarket car parks, and then just f*** off rather than either reporting their mistake to the supermarket or leaving a note on the car they've damaged with their contact details. I've just had to spend 20mins outside in the cold temporarily patching up my damaged wing mirror, and will have to go round breakers yards to find a replacement in the next few days.
It's not just supermarket car parks, my car, parked in the kerb outside my house has just had a wing mirror broken, (actually only a chip off the frame), but even though many of the other drivers round here park half on the footpath, I refuse to act so in consideration for pedestrians and will continue to park respectfully.
 
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