Dodgy Automated Announcements

[Mark_re]

The friendly automated announcement lady at Winchester likes to announce the 1025 (ex-Nottingham) to Bournemouth as being 'the service from Westerton'. This cheers me up no end.

Any other examples of iffy automated announcements?

Mark

 

[ApAp]

This is coach number 2 of 4 - often heard on Southern trains. What's the point when there's no allocated seating?

Even odder I sometimes hear the same announcement on London Overground stock (same voice as Southern, which is different to the standard LO voice).

 

[northwichcat]

This is coach number 2 of 4 - often heard on Southern trains.

That's something people would like to hear on most TPE and Northern services.

 

[mallard]

This is coach number 2 of 4 - often heard on Southern trains. What's the point when there's no allocated seating?

On a 4-carriage (one unit) train then it's a bit silly to play that, but on trains that split it's very useful. It's got nothing to do with seating.

 

[LexyBoy]

On a 4-carriage (one unit) train then it's a bit silly to play that, but on trains that split it's very useful. It's got nothing to do with seating.

Indeed, this is the reason for it, along with short platforms (not sure if this applies to Southern though). It would be better if it just announced the destination for that part of the train though.

I can't think of any regular ones though. A couple I've heard a few times are:

"This train is today in reverse formation. Standard class is at the front of the train. First class is at the front of the train."

"We are sorry to announce that the xxxx to yyyy has been cancelled. We are sorry for the delay to this service"
-or-
"We are sorry to announce that the xxxx to yyyy has been cancelled. This train is expected to arrive in 5 minutes"

"This is a platform alteration. The xxxx service to yyyy will now depart from [the platform it was going from anyway]"

Plus all the announcements on trains between Reading and Waterloo, where whoever was doing the voice was having a laugh...
*serious voice* "The next station stop will be Virginia Water"
*a couple of minutes later* "We are now approaching... !!Virginia Water!!!ZOMG LOLOLOL!!"

 

[ApAp]

On a 4-carriage (one unit) train then it's a bit silly to play that, but on trains that split it's very useful. It's got nothing to do with seating.

So why play it on trains that's not split? It means nothing to most people anyway.

This coach is for XXX, please move to the rear X coaches for all destinations to YYY.

Always sounds odd on the rare occasion it pops up on the ELL.

 

[Fincra5]

This is coach number 2 of 4 - often heard on Southern trains. What's the point when there's no allocated seating?

Even odder I sometimes hear the same announcement on London Overground stock (same voice as Southern, which is different to the standard LO voice).

Its because we operate splitting services, so people can know which coaches to be in (Not that the PIS doesn't work half the time ), also for trains that are longer than the station which happens a lot on commuter trains.

Basically the systerm (based on windows 98) isn't smart enough to tell the difference to a service which needs coach numbers to that which doesn't. SouthEastern managed to get theirs to function properly... as rumour has it the SouthEastern tech guys wouldn't let Southern have the same system

But it gets very annoying operating a service to Pompey from Brighton (that isn't a 313) and after every station announcement there is a coach number. Drives me mad after a while

 

[philjo]

I remember once the on-board announcement telling me that I was in "coach 11 of 8"

 

[swt_passenger]

An auto announcement that irritates me is the one they play on certain stations for terminating trains.

"XXX this is XXX, the train now standing at platform N terminates here, all change, all change."

Trouble is, the train is usually still a few hundred yards up the line, because the correct time delay hasn't been programmed into the PIS. It's also a Desiro or Electrostar or similar, with all windows and doors still shut - people on the train get their own auto announcement anyway - so although it might have been useful in the days of slam door Mk1s with all the windows open as they came to a halt, we don't actually use them anymore...

All the people on the platform need is 'the next train terminates here' - hopefully they already know which station they are standing at...

 

[ChrisCooper]

I always hate the automatic announcements that say *I* am sorry for whatever problems are going on. No you are not, you're a bloody computer!! I always think "we" would sound better, as it sort of covers the railways as a whole (as opposed to saying the TOC, as they might not be at fault, although I have heard a few manual ones which have been along the lines of "TOC appologises for the delay to this service which is due to circumstances beyond our control"). Even better, any problem big enough to warrent an apology should actually be done by a real human, who can whilst at it give the passengers who are delayed a clue as to what they should now do.

 

[thefab444]

People read far too much into the whole "I'm sorry to announce..." thing, it's just a formal way of introducing the announcement. Personally I'm not fussed whether "I" or "We" is used, it's not meant to be an actual apology from the computer or voice-over artist.

 

[Multiple Unit]

Not just an announcement but similar is on London Midland 350s I have Noticed on there side Destinations saying This portion to Crewe when its at Stoke on Trent and there is only one set it also announces it as well through the automated announcement system as well.

 

[northwichcat]

I always hate the automatic announcements that say *I* am sorry for whatever problems are going on. No you are not, you're a bloody computer!!

They do that at Warrington Bank Quay.

At Manchester Piccadilly they use the name of the train operator but that becomes meaningless on automated announcements when it says something like "Northern Rail apologise for this late running" when no real person has actually apologised.

 

[Multiple Unit]

And also I notice at Warrington Bank Quay and Wigan NW both announce the train now approching platform x is the xxxx to London Euston when the trian is about a mile or so from aproching the Station or First Class is at the Rear of the Train then you discover its actually at the front where when you want to get on with a Bike.

 

[ACE1888]

on a slightly different 'angle' always remember the chap who did the announcements at Plymouth in the early 80's, the 'clearest' and most professional one I ever heard, not everything changed for the best on the railway, did it?

 

[alloneword100]

Southern trains to Guildford via Clandon have omitted the latter's name in automated announcements for ages (I think it used to be West Clandon, maybe they never got round to re-recording it). It just goes missing from the list, causing panic among non-regulars who were trying to get there, and then when we get near to the station the announcement says 'The next station is...' and then stops! SWT trains have the right name.

 

[DavidBrown]

The Summer Sundat service from Exeter St Davids to Okehampton confuses both the announcer and the Departure Screens - Stampford Courtenay obviously isn't on the system, so they just repeat Crediton twice.

 

[Bomber]

Videoing a steam charter the other day, 'Please stand well back, the train now approaching..........' the rest of the announcement was drowned out as Princess Elizabeth roared out of the darkness, whistle blowing at 75mph.
Maybe the announcer was a wee bit late starting.:roll:

 

[The Barlow Boy]

Pulling out of London's Victoria station is always amusing on a main line Southern service.
"This is coach number three of this DING-DONG the next station is Clapham Junction".

 

[Fincra5]

Pulling out of London's Victoria station is always amusing on a main line Southern service.
"This is coach number three of this DING-DONG the next station is Clapham Junction".

Probably because the guard has done the manual announcement over the auto one. Bless they system, its easily confused

 

[TEW]

The Thames Train automatic announcement system doesn't have Frome in it, so the London-Frome service which calls at Twyford is announced as the service to *blank*, calling at x, y, z and *blank*.

 

[Crossover]

The Thames Train automatic announcement system doesn't have Frome in it, so the London-Frome service which calls at Twyford is announced as the service to *blank*, calling at x, y, z and *blank*.

I recall something similar at Tame Bridge which didn't have Wrexham and Shropshire on the system so you got a pause where the operator usually was
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
There are a few dodgy annoucements I have heard over the past while.

The one that really bugs me is the one at Manchester Piccadilly about weather and slippery surfaces - had it whilst there on Thursday and there wasn't a cloud in the sky and didn't look like there had been for some time, yet in my 20 mins there I heard it at least 3 times!

Also had one of the Phil Sayer annoucements at Dewsbury on a day that the TPE's were terminating at Leeds - "Platform 1 for the xxxx First TransPennine Express seervice to Leeds, calling at Leeds *pause* only"

Another one that got on my nerves while I was using them more regularily was the automated annoucements on the Pendolinos - it was so slow, followed no natural rhythm (with words practically running into each other) and seemed to finish open ended. So what you'd get would be "Welcome to this VirginTrans service to London Euston, callinga Stockport, Crewe, Milton Keynes Central"...argh, why can it not be set to announce the destination as well like all the other systems :roll:

 

[Captain Chaos]

Used to sometimes get the station auto announcers at various (but not all, didn't seem to affect the old Thames CIS system) stations announce Redhill stoppers to Reading as 'First Great Western High Speed'.

 

[The175]

Shrewsbury never had Wrexham and Shropshire in it's announcement bank either...

"<Silence> are very sorry for the delay to this service..."

I've also been on a 175 where the Auto-Announcer has got a little confused; on a Holyhead to Cardiff service, everything was fine to Wrexham after which every station was announced as Ludlow! Caused a bit of confusion at Ruabon, that!

 

[Blindtraveler]

thats a mighty big loada towns called ludlow. When scotrail first introduced some semi fasts onto the edinburgh shots glasgow line, the 156's pis were very muddled. Used it twice in 1 weekend, but odly the 158 on the return was fine! Taking it to a wholl new level, the atos at waverley is to me dodgy because 1 its atos and 2 the voice of the station manager on it just doesnt sound very wel!

 

[philjo]

The CIS on a FCC 317 once announced whilst waiting at Hitchin that the next station would be Waterbeach.... (the train terminated at Royston anyway!)

There was also a Saturday evening Kings Lynn service that the old system at Stevenage regularly omitted Cambridge so confused everyone as after Royston the next station listed/announced was Waterbeach.


The TPE 185s sometimes run the announcements backwards - e.g. if the system hadn't been reset then when the train goes the other way it runs the announcements for the previous journey in reverse order - i.e. just announcing the station you have just left. Had this happen a few times Windermere-Oxenholme & also Scarborough-York.

 

[Multiple Unit]

THeres a Lady at Crewe who does the announcments in very sexy sort of voice.

 

[jopsuk]

last week, as a (late running) train approached the station, the automatic announcments on the platform apologised for the delay. Four times. With each announcement following immediatly from the previous, as if on a loop.

 

[The Barlow Boy]

Probably because the guard has done the manual announcement over the auto one. Bless they system, its easily confused

No no, it's all on auto.

 

[class156]

The only problems that I have experienced with PIS systems is on the 318s leaving Glasgow Central when it says "We are now approaching Paisley Gilmour Street. Change here......" despite the fact the train hasn't even left Central.