FANTASY: You're in charge of your own Open Access operator.

[route:oxford]

I'd want something that was entertainingly politically manipulative.

So a 50 year Open Access lease on Levenmouth to Haymarket with a half hourly service. One via Dunfermline, the other via Dalgety Bay.

(Obviously promising funding to build a two bay terminus at Levenmouth + one intermediate station with two platforms in return for the lease.)

It would be a win-win.

Either the lease would be granted, or Transport Scotland would have their hand forced for reopening of the Levenmouth Route themselves.

 

[LOL The Irony]

London Midland Northern Railway

It will use 25kv AC overhead/Diesel Bi-Mode versions of the Class 444 (Called Class 744). 110mph top speed Electric & Hybrid mode 100mph Diesel mode.
Layout: A DMFW* B MSTW* C MSP D MSG* E DMSB* *indicates coach with Diesel engine.
No. to be built: 30

Services:
London Euston - Manchester Piccadilly via Birmingham New St. - 1tph - 5 carriages Calling: Milton Keynes Central, Rugby, Coventry, Brimingham International, Biringham New Street, Wolverhampton, Stafford, Crewe, Wilmslow, Stockport & Manchester Piccadilly
London Euston - Blackpool North & Windermere - 1tph - 5 carriages (Blackpool only) 1tp2h - 10 carriages (divides at Preston into a Blackpool & Windermere service) Calling: Milton Keynes Central, Rugby, Nuneaton, Tamworth, Stafford, Crewe, Wilmslow, Stockport, Manchester Piccadilly, Manchester Oxford Road, Bolton, Chorley, Preston then Poulton-Le-Fylde & Blackpool North and Lancaster, Carnforth, Oxenholme Lake District, Kendal & Windermere
London King's Cross - Manchester Airport & Preston - 1tph - 5 carriages (Manchester Airport only) 1tp3h - 10 carriages (divides at Hebden Bridge into a Manchester Airport & Preston service) Calling: Welwyn Garden City, Stevenage, Cambridge, Ely, Peterborough, Grantham, Newark North Gate, Doncaster, Leeds, Bradford Interchange, Halifax, Sowerby Bridge, Hebden Bridge then Rochdale, Manchester Victoria, Manchester Oxford Road, Manchester Piccadilly, Stockport & Manchester Airport and Burnley Manchester Road, Blackburn & Preston

Livery is black, fading into a Retrowave style livery. The logo is also in the Retrowave style. The doors are a shade of purple inkeeping with the Retrowave asthetic.

Logo (made here :https://m.photofunia.com/categories/all_effects/retro-wave)


Route map:

 

[Up_Tilt_390]

Got a few ideas up my sleeve even, some of them possibly more viable than others, but since this is fantasy, I will list them anyway with the possibility of some not being viable at all.

Liverpool Lime Street to Oxford (Nine-Coach Class 800 Express)

• Runcorn, Crewe, Stafford, Wolverhampton, Birmingham New Street, Coventry, Leamington Spa, Banbury and Oxford.

Liverpool Lime Street to Oxford (Nine-Coach Class 800 Semi-Fast)

• Liverpool South Parkway, Runcorn, Hartford, Winsford, Crewe, Stafford, Wovlerhampton, Sandwell and Dudely, Birmingham New Street, Birmingham International, Coventry, Leamington Spa, Banbury, and Oxford.

London Euston to Edinburgh Waverley (Nine-Coach Class 390 Direct Express)

• Watford Junction, Milton Keynes Central, Northampton, Rugby, Nuneaton, Tamworth, Lichfield Trent Valley, Stafford, Crewe, Warrington Bank Quay, Wigan North Western, Preston, Carlisle, Haymarket, and Edinburgh.

 

[Iskra]

It isn't possible to serve Lancaster, Carnforth and Oxenholme or vice versa in that order, without some interesting manoeuvring! (Unless you are paying to build new platforms at Carnforth)

 

[BantamMenace]

I'd remodel the junction at Keighley to allow access from the KWVR to the Airedale line and the return without a reverse required.

I'd then run Oxenhope to Carlisle 2tpd using steam haulage and Mark I or Pullman coaching stock.

6 coaches Oxenhope to Keighley where a fifteen minute stop in platform 4 allows 6 more coaches to be shunted onto the back after they've allowed boarding on platform 3 whilst the train made its way down from Oxenhope.

Advance tickets only with any extras sold on the day at any KWVR station (or Carlisle for those starting at that end). £80 adults, £50 concessions.

Starting as a weekend only running before adding summer weekdays.

 

[LOL The Irony]

It isn't possible to serve Lancaster, Carnforth and Oxenholme or vice versa in that order, without some interesting manoeuvring! (Unless you are paying to build new platforms at Carnforth)

Shouldn't be that hard.

 

[class387]

I'd run an every 20min peak (every 30min off peak and weekends) service from Welwyn Garden City to London Kings Cross with 7-car 720s. It would call at Hatfield, Potters Bar, New Barnet, Finsbury Park and Kings Cross. There would be a £2.50 supplement to travel on this instead of GTR.

Yes, I know there probably aren't paths to do this, but this is a fantasy thread...

 

[Prestige15]

Splitting East Midland Trains.

Rebrand the london service as Grand Mainline, improve service and better direct destinations linking the west coast and east coast via leicester, derby and sheffield, for example.

Hourly London - Liverpool
Calling at Bedford, Leicester, Derby, Chesterfield, Stockport, Manchester Piccadilly and Warrington Central

Hourly London - Nottingham
Calling at Kettering, Market Harborough, Leicester and East Midland Pk with some service extended to Skegness, Worksop vie Mansfield or Cleethorpes via Lincoln

Hourly London - York
Calling at Luton, Leicester, Derby, Chesterfield, Sheffield, 2 Hourly via Leeds and the other via Doncaster

Grand western
Hourly London - Manchester most extend to Barrow, Southport, Windermere, Blackpool and Blackurn
Calling at Leicester and derby

Grand Eastern
Hourly London - Sheffield most extend to Huddersfield via penistone, Hull via Leeds, Scarborough, Saltburn and Newcastle
Calling at Leicester and Derby

Hourly semifast London - Sheffield
Calling at Luton Airport Parkway, Luton, Bedford, Wellingborough, Kettering, Market Harborough, Leicester, Loughborough, East Midland pk, Long Eaton, Derby, Belper, Chesterfield and Dronfield

 

[TurboFintan]

On my local line between London Paddington and Ealing Broadway, steam-hauled (preferably pre-grouping locos and stock) with Pullman dining and sleepers that run every 5 mins off-peak and every 2 seconds at peak times. A massive steam shed will be built at Old Oak Common and will accommodate up to 2000+ locos, mainly consisting of 4-2-2 locos.

On a more serious note; Glasgow to Leeds (Glasgow-WCML-Carlisle-Settle-Leeds), using bi-mode trains (5 cars) or class 158s (at least 5-6 cars long) if we go via the Glasgow South Western lines and/or extend to Nottingham like in the past. Livery would be Regional Railways with EXPRESS lettering (with some modifications such as doors coloured in a way it meets the disability criteria, etc.).

 

[SEClass375]

I had an idea of splitting up Southern where anything terminating west of Brighton goes to SWR and everything else goes to SouthEastern. Not too sure about rolling stock goes.

 

[mugam4]

As has been discussed in other threads, there isn't great connectivity along the south coast. I suspect there is a market for a fast regional service between major south coast settlements.
Trying to keep it outside of the reams of utter wibble, I might suggest fast Portsmouth-Plymouth services (Portsmouth Harbour, P'mth S/S, Fareham, So'ton Ctl, Salisbury, Yeovil Jn, Exeter St Davids, Plymouth) and fast Brighton-Weymouth services (Brighton, Worthing, Chichester, Havant, Fareham, So'ton Ctl, Brockenhurst, Bournemouth, Poole, Weymouth).
If nothing else, the latter would speed up the currently tedious Southampton-Brighton journey.

Perhaps with a fourth platform at stations such as Fareham, Barnham, Worthing and Hove, we could get close to a taktfahrplan-like service with a fast train stopping at something like the above. There's certainly room to do so at all except perhaps Worthing. Ideally with an island at Havant with track realigned, I think you could support fast and slow services as long the West Coastway with the only real bottleneck being St Denys - Fareham where theoretically signalling could be upgraded. Another thing to consider is the capacity of the termini at Southampton, Portsmouth and Brighton. The demand will be there, it's only a matter of time

 

[Non Multi]

My OA service would be called VERY CROSS RAIL & MUCH TUTTING IN THE QUIET COACH Limited (VCR&MTITQCL):

The Route:
Running between Colnbrook oil terminal and Saxmundham and a bit beyond (for Sizewell) with stops at West Ealing, Acton Main Line (because bleak), running through the Crossrail Tunnels calling at Bond Street (because James Bond!), Farringdon (for Thameslink), Canary Wharf, before reversing back to Farringdon, then Chadwell Heath (stopping for a bit), then Illford Carriage Sidings Junction for Grange Hill and Chigwell on the LU Central Line (Because Tucker Jenkins and the ladies from Birds of A Feather are coming along!).

Then a reversal and slightly fast to Hatfield Perevel, Kelvedon (for the disused line to Tollesbury pier), Colchester Town before reversing and reversing again at Colchester. Once we know which way we're going we shall call at Wickham Market, Saxmundham and the freight only line to nearby Sizewell Nuclear Power Station, where hopefully the train will stop.

The Train:
The train would be mixed-freight-tri-mode-tri-class-trying-your-patience consisting of 0-4-0 'Smokey Joe' saddle tank (because everyone loves kettles), Pullman coach 'Lucille' for very quiet 1st class (where passengers will take a vow of silence for the duration of their journey), a RES Mk1 Parcels van with a microwave powered by a 2 stroke petrol generator for 1st class catering.

Dining would consist of 20 boiled in the bag meals with Mccain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy (because 1st class dining MEANS 1st class dining!), then a disused Nightstar Mk 3 generator van (that's not refurbished or in working order), 3 TIA oil tankers (fully laden), 1 KFA 'Warflat' with Scimitar tank (for the sole use of James Bond), the lone Adtranz Classic driving coach (for Standard) with actual Minky ironing boards for seats (no 'Fainsa bottom' here!), with a 2003 National Rail Network map taped to windows with the route marked out in highlighter pen and in big letters: 'THIS IS THE ROUTE YOU CRETINS'.

Then 2 coal wagons dating from 1899 (1 carrying Slough Station's stuffed dog 'Station Jim'), then 3 fully loaded FNA nuclear flask wagons. For full tri-mode I would use British Leyland Railbus RB 004 (for tightwads class) with no seats, heat, lights, grab rails or ventilation (and it would smell of bad dog poop and have creepy audio of Saville's This is the age of the train ads, and howling wolves on the PA). RB 004 would be fully equipped with TPWS, AWS, GWR ATC, ATO for full compatibility with Crossrail and tripcocks and a whistle for LUL (and the LULz) and an owl.

 

[LOL The Irony]

My OA service would be called VERY CROSS RAIL & MUCH TUTTING IN THE QUIET COACH Limited (VCR&MTITQCL):

The Route:
Running between Colnbrook oil terminal and Saxmundham and a bit beyond (for Sizewell) with stops at West Ealing, Acton Main Line (because bleak), running through the Crossrail Tunnels calling at Bond Street (because James Bond!), Farringdon (for Thameslink), Canary Wharf, before reversing back to Farringdon, then Chadwell Heath (stopping for a bit), then Illford Carriage Sidings Junction for Grange Hill and Chigwell on the LU Central Line (Because Tucker Jenkins and the ladies from Birds of A Feather are coming along!).

Then a reversal and slightly fast to Hatfield Perevel, Kelvedon (for the disused line to Tollesbury pier), Colchester Town before reversing and reversing again at Colchester. Once we know which way we're going we shall call at Wickham Market, Saxmundham and the freight only line to nearby Sizewell Nuclear Power Station, where hopefully the train will stop.

The Train:
The train would be mixed-freight-tri-mode-tri-class-trying-your-patience consisting of 0-4-0 'Smokey Joe' saddle tank (because everyone loves kettles), Pullman coach 'Lucille' for very quiet 1st class (where passengers will take a vow of silence for the duration of their journey), a RES Mk1 Parcels van with a microwave powered by a 2 stroke petrol generator for 1st class catering.

Dining would consist of 20 boiled in the bag meals with Mccain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy (because 1st class dining MEANS 1st class dining!), then a disused Nightstar Mk 3 generator van (that's not refurbished or in working order), 3 TIA oil tankers (fully laden), 1 KFA 'Warflat' with Scimitar tank (for the sole use of James Bond), the lone Adtranz Classic driving coach (for Standard) with actual Minky ironing boards for seats (no 'Fainsa bottom' here!), with a 2003 National Rail Network map taped to windows with the route marked out in highlighter pen and in big letters 'THIS IS THE ROUTE YOU CRETINS'.

Then 2 coal wagons dating from 1899 (1 carrying Slough Station's stuffed dog 'Station Jim'), then 3 fully loaded FNA nuclear flask wagons. For full tri-mode I would use British Leyland Railbus RB 004 (for tightwads class) with no seats, heat, lights, grab rails or ventilation (and it would smell of bad dog poop and have creepy audio of Saville's This is the age of the train ads, and howling wolves on the PA). RB 004 would be fully equipped with TPWS, AWS, GWR ATC, ATO for full compatibility with Crossrail and tripcocks and a whistle for LUL (and the LULz) and an owl.

Sorry but which TOC are you the MD of? This post has made my day.

 

[Agent_Squash]

Perhaps with a fourth platform at stations such as Fareham, Barnham, Worthing and Hove, we could get close to a taktfahrplan-like service with a fast train stopping at something like the above. There's certainly room to do so at all except perhaps Worthing.

Does Worthing even need another platform considering next to no trains use Platform 1?

 

[Iskra]

Sorry but which TOC are you the MD of? This post has made my day.

WCRC, clearly.

 

[Andrewh32]

My OA service would be called VERY CROSS RAIL & MUCH TUTTING IN THE QUIET COACH Limited (VCR&MTITQCL):

The Route:
Running between Colnbrook oil terminal and Saxmundham and a bit beyond (for Sizewell) with stops at West Ealing, Acton Main Line (because bleak), running through the Crossrail Tunnels calling at Bond Street (because James Bond!), Farringdon (for Thameslink), Canary Wharf, before reversing back to Farringdon, then Chadwell Heath (stopping for a bit), then Illford Carriage Sidings Junction for Grange Hill and Chigwell on the LU Central Line (Because Tucker Jenkins and the ladies from Birds of A Feather are coming along!).

Then a reversal and slightly fast to Hatfield Perevel, Kelvedon (for the disused line to Tollesbury pier), Colchester Town before reversing and reversing again at Colchester. Once we know which way we're going we shall call at Wickham Market, Saxmundham and the freight only line to nearby Sizewell Nuclear Power Station, where hopefully the train will stop.

The Train:
The train would be mixed-freight-tri-mode-tri-class-trying-your-patience consisting of 0-4-0 'Smokey Joe' saddle tank (because everyone loves kettles), Pullman coach 'Lucille' for very quiet 1st class (where passengers will take a vow of silence for the duration of their journey), a RES Mk1 Parcels van with a microwave powered by a 2 stroke petrol generator for 1st class catering.

Dining would consist of 20 boiled in the bag meals with Mccain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy (because 1st class dining MEANS 1st class dining!), then a disused Nightstar Mk 3 generator van (that's not refurbished or in working order), 3 TIA oil tankers (fully laden), 1 KFA 'Warflat' with Scimitar tank (for the sole use of James Bond), the lone Adtranz Classic driving coach (for Standard) with actual Minky ironing boards for seats (no 'Fainsa bottom' here!), with a 2003 National Rail Network map taped to windows with the route marked out in highlighter pen and in big letters: 'THIS IS THE ROUTE YOU CRETINS'.

Then 2 coal wagons dating from 1899 (1 carrying Slough Station's stuffed dog 'Station Jim'), then 3 fully loaded FNA nuclear flask wagons. For full tri-mode I would use British Leyland Railbus RB 004 (for tightwads class) with no seats, heat, lights, grab rails or ventilation (and it would smell of bad dog poop and have creepy audio of Saville's This is the age of the train ads, and howling wolves on the PA). RB 004 would be fully equipped with TPWS, AWS, GWR ATC, ATO for full compatibility with Crossrail and tripcocks and a whistle for LUL (and the LULz) and an owl.

What a great post, just woke the rest of the household laughing at the TOC name!

 

[mugam4]

Does Worthing even need another platform considering next to no trains use Platform 1?

Worthing's 3 platforms is one of the reasons that faster services do not work: fast trains can only overtake in one direction and so there cannot be a balanced timetable of fast and slow trains, thus it is rarely used. (Sorry, off-topic.)

 

[goblinuser]

Delete

 

[maire23]

There are 2 journeys I would desperately love to see and my operator would make this a priority.
Nottingham to Newcastle
(Nottingham, Derby, Sheffield, York, Newcastle- limited stop)
Perhaps also an all stopper- Nottingham, Beeston, Long Eaton, Derby, Chesterfield, Sheffield, Doncaster, York, Darlington, Durham, Newcastle.
Leicester to Newcastle Direct (limited stop)
Leicester, Derby, Sheffield, York, Newcastle.
Leicester to Newcastle- not limited stop- Leicester, Loughborough, EM Parkway, Long Eaton, Derby, Chesterfield, Sheffield, Doncaster, York, Darlington, Durham, Newcastle.
Called Toon Trains with black and white livery

 

[Gathursty]

I would sequester all of Grand Central's fleet for my Northern Grail exclusive services on predominantly Northern Rail routes as follows:

Lancaster - Newcastle via Seascale: Calling at Lancaster, Carnforth, Grange over Sands, Ulverston, Barrow, Foxfield, Millom, Seascale, Whitehaven, Workington, Maryport, Wigton, Carlisle, Hexham, Prudhoe, MetroCentre and Newcastle.

Liverpool - Lincoln: Calling at Liverpool Lime Street, Earlestown, Manchester Oxford Road, Manchester Piccadilly, Stockport, Chinley, Sheffield, Worksop, Retford, Gainsborough Lea Road and Lincoln Central.

Blackpool - Cleethorpes: Calling at Blackpool North / (Blackpool South, Blackpool Pleasure Beach - weekends/holidays only), Lytham, Preston, Blackburn, Accrington, Burnley Manchester Road, Hebden Bridge, Wakefield Kirkgate, Doncaster, Scunthorpe, Grimsby Town and Cleethorpes.

Southport - Hull: Calling at Southport, Burscough Bridge, Wigan Wallgate, Hindley, (via Walkden), Manchester Victoria, Huddersfield, Wakefield Kirkgate, Knottingley, Goole, Gilberdyke, Brough and Hull.

Carlisle - Scarborough: Calling at Carlisle, Langwathby, Appleby, Kirkby Stephen, Settle, Hellifield, Skipton, Keighley, Shipley, Leeds, Garforth, York, Malton, Seamer and Scarborough.

 

[Girner]

Company name ScR80
Livery, Large logo locomotive with BR blue/grey coaching stock.
Steam heat Class 37 with 6 Mk 1 corridor coaches.

08.00 Glasgow Queen Street to Mallaig via Fort William, daily service
14.00 Mallaig to Glasgow Queen Street via Fort William, daily service

Well, you did say fantasy didn't you?

 

[B&I]

My OA service would be called VERY CROSS RAIL & MUCH TUTTING IN THE QUIET COACH Limited (VCR&MTITQCL):

The Route:
Running between Colnbrook oil terminal and Saxmundham and a bit beyond (for Sizewell) with stops at West Ealing, Acton Main Line (because bleak), running through the Crossrail Tunnels calling at Bond Street (because James Bond!), Farringdon (for Thameslink), Canary Wharf, before reversing back to Farringdon, then Chadwell Heath (stopping for a bit), then Illford Carriage Sidings Junction for Grange Hill and Chigwell on the LU Central Line (Because Tucker Jenkins and the ladies from Birds of A Feather are coming along!).

Then a reversal and slightly fast to Hatfield Perevel, Kelvedon (for the disused line to Tollesbury pier), Colchester Town before reversing and reversing again at Colchester. Once we know which way we're going we shall call at Wickham Market, Saxmundham and the freight only line to nearby Sizewell Nuclear Power Station, where hopefully the train will stop.

The Train:
The train would be mixed-freight-tri-mode-tri-class-trying-your-patience consisting of 0-4-0 'Smokey Joe' saddle tank (because everyone loves kettles), Pullman coach 'Lucille' for very quiet 1st class (where passengers will take a vow of silence for the duration of their journey), a RES Mk1 Parcels van with a microwave powered by a 2 stroke petrol generator for 1st class catering.

Dining would consist of 20 boiled in the bag meals with Mccain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy (because 1st class dining MEANS 1st class dining!), then a disused Nightstar Mk 3 generator van (that's not refurbished or in working order), 3 TIA oil tankers (fully laden), 1 KFA 'Warflat' with Scimitar tank (for the sole use of James Bond), the lone Adtranz Classic driving coach (for Standard) with actual Minky ironing boards for seats (no 'Fainsa bottom' here!), with a 2003 National Rail Network map taped to windows with the route marked out in highlighter pen and in big letters: 'THIS IS THE ROUTE YOU CRETINS'.

Then 2 coal wagons dating from 1899 (1 carrying Slough Station's stuffed dog 'Station Jim'), then 3 fully loaded FNA nuclear flask wagons. For full tri-mode I would use British Leyland Railbus RB 004 (for tightwads class) with no seats, heat, lights, grab rails or ventilation (and it would smell of bad dog poop and have creepy audio of Saville's This is the age of the train ads, and howling wolves on the PA). RB 004 would be fully equipped with TPWS, AWS, GWR ATC, ATO for full compatibility with Crossrail and tripcocks and a whistle for LUL (and the LULz) and an owl.

I was in actual pain laughing at this.

May I introduce: the Liverpool, Midland and South Coast Railway. Lime Street, Runcorn, Crewe, Stafford, Wolverhampton, New Street, Leamington, Banbury, Oxford, Reading then onwards to somewhere on the south coast at my whim. Soon-to-be decommissioned class 507s hauled by a class 35 loco cos I like the look of it, and mk 2 sleeping and dining cars inserted for my use, painted Liverpool Corporation green and white with added purple to represent the current shade of wheelie bin. Anti-mayyer generators fitted to enable the way to be cleared on the Brighton Main Line if necessary.

All of this seems slightly more likely than XC or whoever restoring proper intercity services to Liverpool.

 

[backontrack]

My OA service would be called VERY CROSS RAIL & MUCH TUTTING IN THE QUIET COACH Limited (VCR&MTITQCL):

The Route:
Running between Colnbrook oil terminal and Saxmundham and a bit beyond (for Sizewell) with stops at West Ealing, Acton Main Line (because bleak), running through the Crossrail Tunnels calling at Bond Street (because James Bond!), Farringdon (for Thameslink), Canary Wharf, before reversing back to Farringdon, then Chadwell Heath (stopping for a bit), then Illford Carriage Sidings Junction for Grange Hill and Chigwell on the LU Central Line (Because Tucker Jenkins and the ladies from Birds of A Feather are coming along!).

Then a reversal and slightly fast to Hatfield Perevel, Kelvedon (for the disused line to Tollesbury pier), Colchester Town before reversing and reversing again at Colchester. Once we know which way we're going we shall call at Wickham Market, Saxmundham and the freight only line to nearby Sizewell Nuclear Power Station, where hopefully the train will stop.

The Train:
The train would be mixed-freight-tri-mode-tri-class-trying-your-patience consisting of 0-4-0 'Smokey Joe' saddle tank (because everyone loves kettles), Pullman coach 'Lucille' for very quiet 1st class (where passengers will take a vow of silence for the duration of their journey), a RES Mk1 Parcels van with a microwave powered by a 2 stroke petrol generator for 1st class catering.

Dining would consist of 20 boiled in the bag meals with Mccain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy (because 1st class dining MEANS 1st class dining!), then a disused Nightstar Mk 3 generator van (that's not refurbished or in working order), 3 TIA oil tankers (fully laden), 1 KFA 'Warflat' with Scimitar tank (for the sole use of James Bond), the lone Adtranz Classic driving coach (for Standard) with actual Minky ironing boards for seats (no 'Fainsa bottom' here!), with a 2003 National Rail Network map taped to windows with the route marked out in highlighter pen and in big letters: 'THIS IS THE ROUTE YOU CRETINS'.

Then 2 coal wagons dating from 1899 (1 carrying Slough Station's stuffed dog 'Station Jim'), then 3 fully loaded FNA nuclear flask wagons. For full tri-mode I would use British Leyland Railbus RB 004 (for tightwads class) with no seats, heat, lights, grab rails or ventilation (and it would smell of bad dog poop and have creepy audio of Saville's This is the age of the train ads, and howling wolves on the PA). RB 004 would be fully equipped with TPWS, AWS, GWR ATC, ATO for full compatibility with Crossrail and tripcocks and a whistle for LUL (and the LULz) and an owl.

"20 boiled in the bag meals with McCain Micro Chips and 11 bottles of Shandy"

That entire post, though. Mercy me

 

[daikilo]

Whilst I realise that "fantasy" in the title certainly allows creativity, the reference to "abstractive" in the text does pose a major problem. For me it is to determine how the word "abstractive" will be interpretted by the DfT. Also, as I assume the word "fantasy" does not include "heavily loss making", I am tempted to want to offer an alternative to a TOC who is a net contributor to government coffers.

My conclusion is that, as Alliance Rail has found out, OA today is virtually impossible unless you go for a type of service which does not exist or is very limitted today. I would thus base my offer on services avoiding main stations and terminating/starting at bus/tram/tube stops outside the towns I would quote as destinations.

All trains would be the same, probably with 2+3 seating. Fares would start at 50p (for services departing between 23h and 05h) and toilet use would be time based cossted. For a mere 50 quid, passengers would be allowed onto the platform ahead of others.

I would paint the trains blue and yellow and they would be leased from a company based in Ireland (who would also lease the colour scheme, name, patent, fare software, and anything else which would ensure I make zero profit in the UK).

Now, some might say this is an out-of-date idea, but I don't have the 50 million quid I would need to prove to the DfT that it isn't. Hang-on, I'm getting E-Mails from banks ...

 

[backontrack]

Great Grand Cross Country North Eastwestern South Central Midland Hull, Shropshire and Romford Trains (an Arriva company)

1 train per hour: Liverpool to Norwich via Manchester, Sheffield, Nottingham, Grantham, Peterborough and Ely. This would be like the current East Midlands Trains service but would divide at every intermediate station along the route, even those that the train would not call at.

1tph: Cardiff to Liverpool, via Swindon, Oxford, Bletchley, Bedford, Kettering, Corby, Oakham, Melton Mowbray, East Midlands Parkway, the Castle Donington Line, Burton, Lichfield, Stoke, Alsager, Crewe and Ditton. Services would operate using a new variant of DOO; where the train has guards but no doors.

12tph: Nottingham to Glasgow, via Sheffield, Leeds, the Settle & Carlisle Line, Dumfries, and a re-opened station in Thornhill. On Summer Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, and other days, this service would be extended from Glasgow to Brighton via Kensington Olympia and right near to wherever tbtc's house is, so that he can see it passing every day. Rolling stock would be formed of eighteen 442s, stapled together and pulled by a knackered old Class UB40 Locomotive, because waste not.

2tph: London Paddington to Weymouth. This would provide competition for the busy South Western Railway services; it would call at Didcot, Frome, Westbury, Salisbury, Under Wallop, Much Wibbling-on-the-Wold, Braindead Forum, Cranbrook (Kent), Maiden Newton, Upwey Wishing Well Halt, Radipole and Weymouth. Rolling stock would be formed of a pack of OXO cubes pushed down a hill on an old skateboard, tugging a rake, a garden hoe and a few thousand carriages of Mark Selby design.

3½tph: Thurso to Locheilside Sleeper. Calling at Alness, Dingwall, Inverness, Aberdeen For Westhill, Lerwick South, Scalloway Central, Dundee Cake, Perth (Western Australia), Callander, Crianlarich, Gairlochy International Parkway, Banavie Temple Meads and Locheilside. Rolling stock would be formed of 17 Parry People Movers, operating in tandem with an actual train of some sort.

82tph: Denton to Stranraer. Route TBC. Operated by pacer mints.

5tpd: London King’s Cross to Aberdeen. A fast service, calling at only the necessary stations: Crewe, Runcorn Trent Valley, Norton Bridge, Wigan North Northern, Bolton, Farnworth, Scunthorpe, Royston Vasey, Crythin Gifford, Bempton, Horden, Morpeth, East Linton, Westlinton, Hairmyres, Daventry, Sodor Parkway, Tidmouth Sheds, Far Away, Over-The-Hill, Round The Bend and Newport Pagnell. Services operated by Classless 220 Voyagers.

All services would call at Ebbsfleet, purely because that is what all trains are for. There would be luggage racks, a trolley service, coat-hangers and free WI-FI that actually wor- nah, just kidding, even though this is a fantasy thread we still have to keep our ideas vaguely realistic.

 

[backontrack]

And now here's my more serious proposal. I tried to map it out, but I believe that I have had little success in doing so.

Yuck.

The name would be Northern Horizon.

Here is what it would basically look like:

1tp2h London Euston-Manchester Airport-Manchester Victoria-Salford Crescent-Bolton-Darwen-Blackburn
-6 extensions to Accrington, Burnley, Brierfield, Nelson and Colne
-2 extensions to Ramsgreave & Wilpshire, Langho, Whalley, Clitheroe, Hellifield, Long Preston & Settle

1tp2h London Euston-Stafford-Manchester Victoria-Bolton-Chorley-Preston-Galgate-Lancaster
-2 extensions to Bare Lane, Morecambe and Heysham Port
-6 extensions to Barrow, 4 of which continue to Maryport
-4 extensions to Oxenholme, Kendal, Burneside, Staveley and Windermere

5tpd London Euston-Manchester Victoria-Bolton-Preston-Lancaster
-2 continue to Oxenholme, Tebay, Shap, Penrith, Carlisle, Gretna Green, Eastriggs, Annan and Dumfries
-1 continues to Penrith, Carlisle, Motherwell, Coatbridge Central, Cumbernauld, Stirling, Perth, Dunkeld & Birnam, Pitlochry, Aviemore and Inverness
-1 continues to Penrith, Carlisle, Motherwell, Coatbridge Central, Cumbernauld, Stirling, Perth, Pitlochry, Aviemore, Inverness, Nairn, Forres and Elgin
-1 continues to Penrith, Carlisle, Motherwell, Coatbridge Central, Cumbernauld, Stirling, Perth, Dundee West, Dundee, Carnoustie, Arbroath, Stonehaven, Portlethen and Aberdeen

1tp2h London King's Cross-St Neots-Doncaster-Crowle (1tp2h)-Scunthorpe-Habrough-Grimsby Town-Grimsby Docks-Cleethorpes
1tp2h London King's Cross-St Neots-York-Haxby-Malton-Seamer-Scarborough
1tp2h London King's Cross-Retford-Bawtry-Rossington-Doncaster-York-Hammerton-Knaresborough-Harrogate
1tp2h Preston-Bamber Bridge-Blackburn-Burnley Manchester Road-Todmorden-Hebden Bridge-Sowerby Bridge-Halifax-Bradford Interchange-Leeds-Garforth-York-Haxby-Malton-Seamer-Scarborough

1tp2h Whitehaven-Workington-Flimby-Maryport-Aspatria-Wigton-Dalston-Carlisle-Wetheral-Haltwhistle-Hexham-Prudhoe-Metrocentre-Newcastle-Sunderland-[Horden-Peterlee]-Hartlepool-Thornaby-Middlesbrough
1tp2h Dumfries-Annan-Eastriggs-Gretna Green-Carlisle-Haltwhistle-Haydon Bridge-Hexham-Prudhoe-Metrocentre-Newcastle-Birtley-[Chester-le-Street]-Durham-Ferryhill-Thornaby-Middlesbrough-South Bank-Redcar

London services and Preston-Scarborough services would be operated by Class 350s where electrified and Class 180s where not, while the Tyne Valley services would be operated by Class 175s.

Livery would be burgundy with a gold GNER-style stripe and gold doors (with silver doors for First Class).

 

[AngusH]

(This isn't an entirely serious suggestion)

I would identify routes using multiple units which are frequently full and standing, but where the length is less than the line allows.
(e.g single class 158 unit where the track and platforms allow 6 car trains for example)

Then I would buy identical units and make agreement with the current operator to attach my additional unit onto the existing train. This would require no additional paths.

I would take the ticket revenue from passengers in my section and pay a fee to the current operator somehow. Or maybe they could pay me, if my negotiations were good?

(Like the old pullman car company approach, sort of)

 

[Wirewiper]

My fantasy OAO is international in scope and also involves the airline industry as major players.

My OAO is named "Heathrow Overground International" (HOI!) and is a Consortium consisting of at least Heathrow Airport Holdings, Eurostar, British Airways (as lead operator for the OneWorld Alliance), Star Alliance and possibly input from other Continental rail operators and airlines serving Heathrow.

The Consortium would finance and build an underground link to Heathrow Airport, diverging from the HS1 route just outside St Pancras International. A single Station would be built underneath the Airport. This would be directly accessible from Airside, so that airline passengers could transfer between flights and trains without passing through UK Immigration; instead, there would be Schengen Zone border controls, administered by agreement with the French Border Authority, followed by security screening to comply with the requirements for passengers using the Channel Tunnel. There would need to be the ability for arriving passengers to be reunited with their luggage, and for departing passengers to do luggage drop, but using computer technology and luggage label barcodes this would not be an insurmountable problem. The terminals would be linked to the Station by dedicated shuttle trains (or possibly by shuttle bus in the case of Terminal 4). This would be offered as an alternative to building a third runway at Heathrow. The station would also have access to passengers from the UK arriving by surface transport, who would also go through Schengen Zone Immigration and security checks before boarding the train.

The train service would be operated as part of Eurostar and would consist of two trains an hour. One would operate to Paris Nord, picking up alternately at Stratford International, Ebbsfleet International or Ashford International. This would allow the majority of London St. Pancras International-Paris Nord services to operate non-stop. The other would operate to Lille-Europe and Bruxelles-Midi/Brussel-Zuid, with some trains extended to Rotterdam Centraal and Amsterdam Centraal, as well as destinations in Germany if DB could be persuaded to come on board. Again these would have selected pick-ups at Stratford/Ebbsfleet/Ashford Internationals to allow trains from London St. Pancras International to be speeded up. Note that the service would NOT be available for journeys wholly within the UK, although provision could be made for a separate platform at Heathrow with access via UK Immigration and services provided by Southeastern Highspeed.

Airlines would through-ticket, giving passengers the right to be transferred to a later train if their incoming flight is delayed. It would become the norm for long-distance passengers arriving at Heathrow on long-haul OneWorld and Star Alliance flights and travelling on to Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam to do so by train, and most if not all flights to and from these destinations would be scrapped. This would free up slots for other routes and increase the airport's capacity without the need to build extra runways and terminals.

 

[Timrud]

Growler Rail, running top and tail 37's from Sheffield to Brighton through the core, just because it's not allowed

 

[anti-pacer]

London&Northern (replacing GC and HT)

London King's Cross-Hull/Bridlington*: every 2 hours: 5 coach Class 800
calling at Peterborough, Grantham, Newark Northgate, Doncaster, Selby, Howden, Brough and Hull.
* 3 trains a day extended to serve Cottingham, Beverley, Driffield, and Bridlington.

London King's Cross-Harrogate/Scarborough: every 2 hours: 8 coach Class 800 capable of splitting into 2 x 4 coaches
calling at Peterborough, Grantham, Newark Northgate, Retford, Doncaster, York (where the train divides for Knaresborough, Harrogate, and also Malton, Seamer and Scarborough).

London King's Cross-Sunderland/Grimsby Town: every 2 hours: 8 coach Class 800 capable of splitting into 2 x 4 coaches
calling at Peterborough, Grantham, Newark Northgate, Retford, Doncaster (where the train divides for York, Thirsk, Northallerton, Yarm, Thornaby, Stockton, Billingham, Hartlepool, Seaham, Sunderland, and also Scunthorpe, Barnetby, Grimsby Town).

London King's Cross-Manchester Victoria: every 2 hours: 5 coach Class 800
calling at Peterborough, Doncaster, Wakefield Kirkgate, Huddersfield, Stalybridge.

London King's Cross-Blackpool North: 4 trains per day: 5 coach Class 800
calling at Peterborough, Doncaster, Wakefield Kirkgate, Mirfield, Hebden Bridge, Burnley Manchester Road, Accrington, Blackburn, Preston, Blackpool North.

London King's Cross-Bradford Interchange: 5 trains per day: 5 coach Class 800
calling at Peterborough, Doncaster, Pontefract Monkhill, Wakefield Kirkgate, Mirfield, Brighouse, Halifax, Low Moor, Bradford Interchange.


Accommodation on board: Free WiFi throughout.

FIRST PREMIER: First Class with newspapers, complimentary food and drink, similar to VTEC/VTWC offerings. No advance tickets.
FIRST STANDARD: First Class with newspapers, complimentary tea/coffee/water/juice, light snacks. Advance tickets available and weekend upgrades.
STANDARD: Standard Class with trolley service. All tickets available.