How do you tell your girlfreind your a train enthusiast?

[Mintona]

Or you could just not bother having a other half. I've managed it for 19 years 8)

 

[Bittern]

I've got a similar problem with my other like, as my banner here will tell you what it is. If not, read on. Or, read on anyway. Or don't. I don't care.

I've been out of High School for about a year and just finished college. My final year at High School was a tough one with bullying and the general "un-popular-ness", and college, while much better, certainly made me question my watching PR, and if I should tell anyone.

Basically, I'd met this lass who likes High School Musical. She's about two weeks younger than me and was very open about her love of HSM, and here I was, a Power Rangers fan who hadn't told anyone besides his family and people online. Should I tell people? Eight months later and no-one outside of my family and the fandom knows. I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I'm worried a little about how it's eventually going to come out, and of course, the reaction of people. I wouldn't want to say, move and at this new city, know no one, enter college, meet people, they find out about my liking PR and because of that, I have no one.

Maybe I'm still thinking like a high schooler. I'm only "out in the real world" by about a year and still pushing forward after what happened, but I do think I am on logical ground, at least for the time being. I mean, I revealed to some people I like Star Trek, and one lass said "That's funny", while one guy even held a conversation with me about the Dominion War, but says he only knew about that and Jadzia's death because his mom watched it.

I dunno. I'm still in the closet, and I guess I don't know how to get out of it.

On the subject of trains, plenty of people knew before and I used to get the crap taken outta me for it, and not in a good way. As I said in another thread, my interest was lowered for a while as I dealt with High School, but recently it came up that I liked trains and no one seemed bothered. Makes me wonder if anyone would bother about my liking Power Rangers...

 

[37401]

relating to the post above i found it hard to tell people, i had this worry that people would just stop liking me, i didnt really tell them if im honest i just started posting photos of me nex to 158`s and 66` on Facebook and i think they kinda guessed, the mocking didnt really last long because i just had the "I dont care what you say" attitude, i think it helps really.

 

[37372]

I never had to bother! I met my current boyfriend on the platform at Cardiff Central station whilst having a casual day out spotting by myself, he too was there for a day of copping!

Since then we've had trips around the Gloucester area, it's fun bashing trains with someone who shares the hobby - even if we do argue about which trains are better than others!

 

[Mojo]

Similar to above really, I met my boyfriend as another member of these forums a few years ago.

I haven't really been a railway enthusiast for a few years though, if by that you mean taking an interest in it, days out & photos, etc. Nowadays I'm more interested in the politics, management, economics and planning behind transport.

 

[Darandio]

Due to past "confrontations" on this site, not by me, but some will know what I mean, I must state that this post is not intended as a confrontation towards homosexuality. I felt I had to state this before posting to nullify myself from the small-mindedness that exists when approaching this subject. (Disclaimer Over!)

It's just that on reading the thread, delving into profiles etc it seem that the thread shifted towards homosexuality. For me, it provides an excellent insight in to the divergence of the discussion to see a different mindset on what has been an excellent topic, especially considering 90% of us will probably have to face the question of "being an enthusiast" at some point. Thanks for being so open and sharing your experiences!

 

[Broken Viking]

isclaimer>
This post is intended as a t'penneth contribution to the sub-topic highlighted by Darandio above, and is not intended to drive the thread away from it's original topic of How to inform thy partner that ye are a railway enthusiast. Although simple (dis)agreeing with the suggestion herein should be OK, please try and keep this thread on topic...Cheers.
</disclaimer>

It's just that on reading the thread, delving into profiles etc it seem that the thread shifted towards homosexuality. For me, it provides an excellent insight in to the divergence of the discussion to see a different mindset on what has been an excellent topic, especially considering 90% of us will probably have to face the question of "being an enthusiast" at some point.

I have to agree that I saw the same thing cropping up in the last few posts, and I agree that it's a great thing to see being discussed openly!
Mind ye, I have to confess that I'm another WCML user (Just not as open and clear about it as most others for some reason :?) and that - Like with a few posters above - My other half isn't of the opposite gender.

The thing that always seems to have struck me though is the apparent higher than average incidence of homosexuality in certain interest groups - Railway and rollercoaster enthusiast groups being two examples that I have first-hand experience of - And try as I can to understand why such a statistical anomaly exists, I've never been able to figure it out myself. :?

Obviously, this thread isn't the place to discuss that particular topic as it isn't really relevant to the original subject...But would anyone object to such a thread being started for the discussion and reasoning as to why certain interest groups - Train related hobbies included - Seem to have a higher number of people like myself than what one might consider average?
Actually, I suppose there could always be a revival of the old RailUGay group as a community area as well, assuming that someone can be found to run it properly and that none of the Mods object to such a happening.

Farewell...
>> Death <<

 

[asylumxl]

I've got a similar problem with my other like, as my banner here will tell you what it is. If not, read on. Or, read on anyway. Or don't. I don't care.

I've been out of High School for about a year and just finished college. My final year at High School was a tough one with bullying and the general "un-popular-ness", and college, while much better, certainly made me question my watching PR, and if I should tell anyone.

Basically, I'd met this lass who likes High School Musical. She's about two weeks younger than me and was very open about her love of HSM, and here I was, a Power Rangers fan who hadn't told anyone besides his family and people online. Should I tell people? Eight months later and no-one outside of my family and the fandom knows. I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I'm worried a little about how it's eventually going to come out, and of course, the reaction of people. I wouldn't want to say, move and at this new city, know no one, enter college, meet people, they find out about my liking PR and because of that, I have no one.

Maybe I'm still thinking like a high schooler. I'm only "out in the real world" by about a year and still pushing forward after what happened, but I do think I am on logical ground, at least for the time being. I mean, I revealed to some people I like Star Trek, and one lass said "That's funny", while one guy even held a conversation with me about the Dominion War, but says he only knew about that and Jadzia's death because his mom watched it.

I dunno. I'm still in the closet, and I guess I don't know how to get out of it.

On the subject of trains, plenty of people knew before and I used to get the crap taken outta me for it, and not in a good way. As I said in another thread, my interest was lowered for a while as I dealt with High School, but recently it came up that I liked trains and no one seemed bothered. Makes me wonder if anyone would bother about my liking Power Rangers...

I say be yourself and be true to yourself. I'm 20 now and my mates and I still remenise about the good old days of power rangers cos we were the first generation to grow up with it! While I don't actively watch it, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

With regards to trains, just admit that too. Rattling off some information on the science and engineering of a class usually shuts them up, and points out you're not an anorak.

If your friends don't want to be your friends after, or if they make fun of you for a long time, they aren't your friends nor are they worth your time. Friends should like you for who you are.

 

[Geezertronic]

Although different, I work with computers and people automatically assume I am a geek. The fact is that when I leave work, I have no interest in computers at all (although I do help out friends and family).

Also with my current work being a stones throw away from Birmingham International, of a lunch time I usually take a walk round the airport and by the railway station often staying by the railway station for anything up to 1/2 hour just watching the trains go by. Some would think that is strange but I don't particularly care

Oh and for the record, the BTP sometimes sit in the VirginTrains short stay carpark at Birmingham International and I have not been asked to move on once

 

[anthony263]

I am lucky that most of my freinds knew that i was interested in railways & buses ow and watching gundam anime.

my girlfreind has an interest in anime so i guess we do have a mutal understanding of each others likes/dislikes.

i dont really like going to anime conventions so normally she will go to these for the day with people she knows and i normally tag along on the train trip then go off train/bus bashing.

lately i have started to become more interested not just in trains & transport in general but the running & operations of running public transport systems etc.

another interest i have is watching tv programs on super volcano's like the 1 at yellowstone national park.

anyway i do thank evryone for their views and i have been chatting to my freind about it and he has now got a new girlfreind who i have had the pleasure of meeting.

turns out her father is a train spotter so i guess he was worrying over nothing

 

[AlexS]

I also met my partner of 9 months through trains. Ironically we hated each other at first but are now well and truly head over heels about 7 or 8 years later. We volunteer together on the GCR. We are very happy together and he also uses this forum.

As a result telling him I liked trains was never really a problem.

 

[SouthEastern-465]

im not meaning this in a nasty way,but just tell her straight in a convasation,like when she asks you what you are into,just say trains and see what she says if she dont like it she aint much of a girlfriend is she (and i really dont mean this in a rude way.)

 

[Jord]

I like trains!!! 8)

^ Would seem to do the trick?

 

[90019]

One guy who I almost went out with, I think he guessed fairly rapidly; because when I went to meet him in town one time, I met him down in Waverley, and I was busy taking pics of a Pendolino when he got there

 

[berwickspotter]

What did he say to you

 

[90019]

What did he say to you

Nothing, just waited until I was done :P

 

[theblackwatch]

Nothing, just waited until I was done :P

Then asked "are you a trainspotter?" presumably!!

 

[90019]

Then asked "are you a trainspotter?" presumably!!

Nope, not at all.
I borrowed his phone one time as well, when my camera ran out of power :P

 

[veoliaboy]

Just to let some of you know i was the freind who asked anthony about this and yes i have now told my girlfreind who doesnt really mind since her dad is a plain spotter.

Anyway thank you for all your views on this

 

[anthony263]

Glad to see that you listened to me and joined the group

 

[Geezertronic]

Just to let some of you know i was the freind who asked anthony about this and yes i have now told my girlfreind who doesnt really mind since her dad is a plain spotter.

What is a plain spotter?

 

[thefab444]

Someone who spots pieces of flat land with grass and such fauna growing? Of course, the Great Plains being their Holy Grail, the equivalent of a "Pair" doing 1S44.

 

[anthony263]

Oops looks like i made a spelling error, should have said plane spotter

( I do get my spelling write sometimes)

 

[SouthEastern-465]

What is a plain spotter?

do you mean plane meaning the aircraft?

 

[Geezertronic]

do you mean plane meaning the aircraft?

Of course he did, I was just extracting the urine in a friendly way

 

[BlythPower]

Someone who spots pieces of flat land with grass and such fauna growing? Of course, the Great Plains being their Holy Grail, the equivalent of a "Pair" doing 1S44.

You can't beat a spot of gopher bashing

 

[Demps]

Haha now this is a discussion, and one i would happly apply to.

Just like the car enthusiast vs rail enthusiast stereotype. Your rarely going to win, society is like a pack of sheep, people darent step out of the field, or admit they like a certain thing which everybody else thinks is uncool. Just like that guy mentioned at the start of the thread, i know far too many Anoraks, who dont even know they are anoraks, they are car enthusiasts, a lot of them in their early 20's. Now because there are lots of people who drive cars, this is seen as acceptable, and not uncool, down the pub im sure your views would be reflected, and you wouldnt be classed as an anorak because you know the Pressure at which 5 pot audi engine is at 5000 revs.

In so many ways railway enthusiasts are the same, i know many rail enthusiasts which are every day normal lads, im probably the only person that knows that though, unfortunately. Its a stereotype which will linger with the hobby until its death, thats how its being carved by society, and thats how it will stay in society, if you like trains, your a looser.

I take the ***s and wave the term 'anorak' around all the time. A lot of my mates, and some lasses know im an anorak, but im foward about it, basically i dont give a ****, and in a lot of ways this reaps benefits. However, i dont specifically admit i'm a train enthusiast, if someone challenges why, i stick to what is the truth about me, i like anything with an engine, ones that make a lot of noise, trains have huge engines, they make a lot of noise and smell good.

So back to the question, how do you convey to your bird your an anorak? Well, as previously mentioned this is a tricky thing. Knowing her is going to be important, what type of person is she, how is she going to react, ive had this in the past, and in the end i never let out, but in other occasions i have, becuase i knew the person well, and even though i got a tiny bit of stick for it, the world didnt end, as i had presumed.

You've got to make a joke about it really, dont be serious, or then, the dredded, anorak will be worn and the situation will be dimmed. Smile and say, im an anorak, what you going to do about it?

 

[Metroland]

In so many ways railway enthusiasts are the same, i know many rail enthusiasts which are every day normal lads, im probably the only person that knows that though, unfortunately. Its a stereotype which will linger with the hobby until its death, thats how its being carved by society, and thats how it will stay in society, if you like trains, your a looser.

Oh I dunno, it's a minority of tabloid society and I'm not sure their comments carry any intellectual weight, generally people that take the **** are usually lacking in imagination or wit because it really is such a cliché.

It just makes me really angry, that we have spawed a selfish society that really does deride something as harmless as railways, which are fundamentally social and a good thing. But then our society takes the **** out of people for all sorts of things or there is incredible pressure to take drugs, be anti-social on a Saturday night, endlessly promote yourself, better yourself at the expense of others, lack any humility or self respect and generally behave like a mindless drone - and this is becoming more and more as seen as 'good'.

Who shall we blame, answers on a post card. But there certainly is a historical correlation with all those things without wishing to be political.

 

[Moodster020]

Alot of this has alot to do with Psychology, and basic instinctive behavoir. (as demonstrated in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzWazsPCqlA )

Alot of people's actions are bourne of instinctive survivalist behavior (without them realising it), as the human being is a herding animal.
Being accepted in the herd is an instinctive thought, which is down to survival again (1000's of years of the caveman clan/tribal living has created this, as being on your own in ancient times was rather tricky). So doing anything that the majority of the herd doesn't do/approve of gets certain treatment.


In short: Sheep mentality, or "Sheeple"

 

[TGVDUDE]

most of my friends knew i was a rail enthusiast since i knew them as we grew up together, it has only botherd the newer people who i have met in school but not much, my original friends from the begginning have no problem but the newer ones picked up the nickname for me "Trainspotting Jew" which gets irritating!