Mornington Crescent

[Class172]

I just received a rather curt but confusing email and wondered if any forum members can help to understand it:

Dear Mayor,

I'm afraid that the clothes that I was gifted as a birthday present a few years ago no longer fit so I'd like to return them. I can't remember where they came from but would it be okay if I sent them to the same address as my postal vote?

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs Trellis

As it happens I was also just watching the television coverage of the general election announcement, which made me realise it might be time for a game of our old favourite Mornington Crescent. We'll be making use of Purdah Rules for this edition of Mornington Crescent. This means moves to Westminster are banned and proceedings will cease as polling stations close on the day of the election.

With the monarch having the role of approving the dissolution of parliament I'll start with Victoria.

 

[OxtedL]

Canning Town.

 

[ainsworth74]

Poplar

 

[Ostrich]

Ah - before the Treasury is destroyed, we must visit Bank ....

 

[Purple Train]

I think I need something simple after the mess that is Bank. Using the School Principle, let's head for the uncomplicated environs of Grange Hill.

 

[Busaholic]

Finchley Central (Office) for those who still hear the female ghost alleged to make a shrieking sound in the tunnels of that Northern Line branch.

 

[ainsworth74]

I'm not entirely sure that ghosts are permitted within the Purdah Rules but, I'll over look that and instead I think Covent Garden might be the move here.

 

[Loppylugs]

I fancy a visit to the Chelsea Flower Show. Best hop off at Sloane Square then.

 

[RDP]

We appear to be getting a bit too close to Westminster for comfort so using the Murray principle we finish up at Wimbledon.

 

[Bald Rick]

Hmm. Interesting move. As moves to Westminster are banned, but we need to reflect the current news and thinking about the current crop of politicians, there is only one place to go and that is Becontree*.

* if you know, you know.

 

[Peter C]

I belive 'tis now a good idea to move to Heathrow Terminals 2 & 3 in a vague attempt to go for a nice holiday somewhere and let the next few weeks blow over... Guernsey looks nice this time of year.

-Peter

 

[RDP]

Unfortunately typical British weather has grounded all flights so we head for Kings Cross.

 

[Trackman]

Well, the next move must be Camden Town.

 

[RDP]

Applying the LMS principle the next move is to Willesden Junction.

 

[DerekC]

No, no NO! You can't play a sneaky Finnigan's Rule of 17 so early in the game - remember what happened to the hamster in the story. To try to redress the balance:

Upminster

 

[rapmastaj]

I detect a case of elderberry blush! Quick, hop on over to Elephant & Castle, but make sure to leave the white rabbit behind.

 

[DerekC]

Elephants, rabbits .. are you trying to manoeuvre me towards the Forbidden Place? There's a wormhole here that might lead somewhere amazing:

Hainault

 

[RDP]

Applying the Cross Channel rule gets us to Theydon Bois.

 

[ainsworth74]

This might be a bit dubious but I'm sure Version 4 (2019) of the Purdah Rules permits it so I'm going to go with Clapham North

 

[Purple Train]

This might be a bit dubious but I'm sure Version 4 (2019) of the Purdah Rules permits it so I'm going to go with Clapham North

Version 4? Good grief man! The relevant Caesar Section of the Purdah Rules changes with each Education Secretary, so we are now on Version 9. Version 9 makes it quite, quite clear that equilateral moves involving the Cartwright Diagonal are not permitted, so Clapham North is out of bounds. I trust Oakwood is not too remote?

 

[DerekC]

Oakwood unfortunately fails when Hessenmonger's algorithm is applied, as it should be, with the correct amount of adjustment for bias. However a very slight movement to Cockfosters puts everything exactly in alignment, and all somebody has to do is enter the appropriate unlock code.

 

[RDP]

Having discovered the unlock code it says apply Bird's rule for the next move to Hendon Central,

 

[Purple Train]

DerekC - of course. The only excuse I can proffer is that my copy of Hessenmonger's Algorithm was sent to me using Royal Mail rather than e-mail. As such, I think it's probably still in Dorchester-on-Thames.

Bird's rule definitely throws a spanner in the works, so, on a wing and a prayer, I'll head for Acton Central.

 

[Peter C]

I once had a rather unfortunate incident involving a sponge finger whilst sat next to a cabinet minister at a station near Aylesbury, and because that begins with the same letter as Acton Central, I propose a move to Southwark to get away from the embarrassment.

-Peter

 

[RDP]

Still using Bird's rule we end up at Finchley Central.

 

[ainsworth74]

Suitably ashamed after my previous rules violation due to using an out of date set how about a nice simple Euston Square

 

[RDP]

This is where we would normally apply Westminster rules but since that is banned it's off to Tower Hill.

 

[Purple Train]

I shall let you good people decide who to leave in the Tower. However, to avoid it being me, I'll seek refuge in Amersham.

 

[RDP]

Applying Ham's rule sees us at Hampstead.

 

[Purple Train]

Ah, Ham sweet Ham. I'll set an attacking field and head for Oval.