Work in technical support long enough and you'll soon learn a redefinition of gullible, and stupidity.
'Is that a left click or a right click'?
Me: 'Okay so if you'd like to double click the icon to run the software, sir'
Them: 'It says, click run to continue, what do I do, Run or Cancel?'
'I received an email last night that said if I click this my whole hard disk will be burned, should I be afraid?'
The best one yet has to be a client of ours who's security was recently stepped up thanks to yours truly discovering a weakness. Now, if they type the incorrect password 3 times, the account is 'locked out' and they must phone us to get it unlocked. Almost without fail, at least twice or more times a week, this one woman phones us to reset her password because she's either forgotten it or mistyped it 3+ times.
I honestly don't know how they do it, but some people just shouldn't be let out.
I can beat that.
Customer: My internet's not working. It's been down for a month now. I need an engineer.
Me: Have you called about this before?
Cmmr: No, I thought it was just a local problem
<I check the system>
Me: There's definitely no broadband going through your line at the moment, would you be able to check your router for me please sir?
Cmmr: What's that?
Me: It's a little box, it's usually a little black box beside your computer
Cmmr: Can't you just send an engineer?
Me: We may need to do that, but we may be able to fix the problem over the phone for you today sir.
Cmmr: OK
<He reluctantly goes to find his router>
Cmmr: I've got it
Me: That's fantastic, could you possibly tell me which of the lights are showing, sir?
Cmmr: It just says "Cannot read disk"
Me: OK... are you sure that's your router? It usually only has 5 lights on it
Cmmr: I'll just check
<Pause a few seconds>
Cmmr: I think that might be my video player.
Me: OK, do you know where your router might be? It's a little black box with 5 lights on it
Cmmr: I'll have another look
<He looks for a few minutes>
Cmmr: Is it a Seimens box?
Me: Usually, yes. Can you tell me which lights are showing on it?
Cmmr: Shouldn't an engineer be doing this?
Me: As I say, we may need an engineer, but I'd like to see if we could help you over the phone today.
Cmmr: Right... There's no lights on it.
Me: Is the power light on?
Cmmr: No
Me: OK... can I just ask you to check if it's plugged in?
Cmmr: Just a minute...
<He takes a few minutes to check>
Cmmr: No. Should I plug it in?
Me: Yes please
<A slight pause whilst he plugs it in>
Cmmr: Right all the lights are coming on now
Me: OK, everything's coming back online now at our end. Could you try and access the internet for me please?
<A slight pause>
Cmmr: Yes, I'm back on
Me: Well, that should be you. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Cmmr: Am I not going to get compensation? I've not had any internet for a month now and I'm paying for this!
Me: We can't really give you compensation, because it's been a problem at your end.
Cmmr: What do you mean?
Me: Because the router was unplugged at your end, that was the reason the internet wasn't getting through so there was nothing we could do about that at our end.
Cmmr: But that wasn't my fault!
Me: But we still can't give compensation because it wasn't our fault. It was a problem in your premises.
This basically developed into an irate call, with him demanding that we reimburse him because he unplugged his router for a month :roll: He also demanded to know why he had to do all the work, and why I didn't send him an engineer.
The number of people I had this conversation (below) with was just unreal:
Me: Can you check your router for me please?
Cmmr: Hold on a minute...
<They search for a while and ask what it looks like and where it's likely to be>
Cmmr: Do I need to be at home for this?
Me: Yes, the router will be in your house
Cmmr: Only, I'm at work just now. I thought you meant it was on the internet. :roll:
hock: