Railway memes and rage comics part 2

[LexyBoy]

WD-40 is a very good degreaser, which is why it's so good for de-gumming things.

Problem is, if you use it on something that's supposed to be greasy (i.e. anything with moving parts) then it strips off the lube and it ends up seizing. You need to apply proper lubricating oil once the WD-40's done its thing.

 

[Eng274]

Something other rail staff may sympathise or groan at..

 

[backontrack]

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*Bad pun dog*

What do you call a desert animal that makes trains?

A Metro Camel!

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*I'll just wait here...*

I've posted the third-last stop on 'The next station is'. Someone needs to concede.

I'll just wait here...

 

[backontrack]

I don't want to hijack this thread with diagrams, but I decided I had to make this. The line the station's on isn't electrified yet, but it will be soon.

*Sankey (for Penketh) diagram*

Class 319 (will hopefully use electrical energy by 2030 at least) = Useful energy (kinetic energy, up to 90mph) + Clag (sound energy, 300 decibels)

 

[backontrack]

No views?

 

[fishquinn]

I like the first 2. I don't really get the 319 one though.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I like the first 2. I don't really get the 319 one though.

I think he's saying the 319s are too quiet for his liking?

 

[talltim]

A model railway one

I felt a short in the DCC
It was as if millions of locos were suddenly silenced and suddenly started up again

 

[Techniquest]

I like the first 2. I don't really get the 319 one though.

I think he's saying the 319s are too quiet for his liking?

Perhaps, I really can't figure it out!

 

[backontrack]

Apologies, it would have made more sense if I'd have used 323s.

If you search 'Sankey Diagram' on Google Images, it'll make some sense

 

[tsr]

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*Bad Luck Brian*
Goes to Streatham Hill Depot for a 3 car unit
Ends up with a 455 (well, two)

 

[backontrack]

Does this have anything to do with the text under your avatar?

 

[tsr]

Does this have anything to do with the text under your avatar?

I knew I was good at providing service updates in advance...

 

[backontrack]

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*Lion King shadowy place*
Mufasa: Everything the light touches is the refurbished New Street station.
Simba: But what about that shadowy place?
Mufasa: That's Birmingham Snow Hill. You must never go there.

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*Lion King shadowy place*
Mufasa: Everything the light touches is York or North Yorkshire.
Simba: But what about that shadowy place?
Mufasa: That's Hull, Simba.

 

[Nym]

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Cheeky Sod...(!)

 

[backontrack]

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*Stoke-on-Trent station sign*
The best station...

...to buy a single away from.

 

[D365]

May I ask, why in particular is it Stoke-on-Trent?

Also, concerning the Simba meme: Where does that leave Sheffield?

 

[backontrack]

It's not in York or North Yorkshire. That way, I wouldn't have to add Sheffield and Bradford.

The Stoke joke is simple. Buy a single away from there, not a return, to escape.
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*Dr Evil Laser*

Stratford "International"

 

[alex17595]

*Scumbag Steve*
Buys house next to rail line
Complains about the noise

 

[backontrack]

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Opens shopping centre called 'Metrocentre'...

...said centre has no discernible Metro service.

*Bad luck, Brian*

 

[Kite159]

In comment to some moaning 1st class passengers having to walk further when a 159 tips up in 'reverse formation' (1st class at the country end)

IS FIRST CLASS AT THE LONDON END? NOPE, COUNTRY END, WALKIES!
*Futurama Fry*

 

[SS4]

OFFERED COMPLIMENTARY TEA/COFFEE

OBLIGED TO DRINK IT

*First World Problems*

 

[Tim R-T-C]

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Bad Luck Brian: Buys Ticket for the Caledonian Sleeper (No punchline required!)

 

[backontrack]

Bump!

So the question is: Why do people join RailUK?

Pie chart: Why do people join RailUK?
20% To argue about HS2/new lines
20% To argue about politics
20% Short fare 'mistakes'
15% Complaints
10% To be shouted down
14% To ask rude questions
1% Because they like trains

 

[Iskra]

Bump!

So the question is: Why do people join RailUK?
View attachment 25160

Very good!!

I'd put short fare mistakes at 50% though!

 

[backontrack]

I would have done, but then I wouldn't have been able to fit everything else in

I could have got rid of 'rude mistakes' and bumped it up to 34%, though. 442s are missing, but then people don't join RailUK just to talk about them...do they?

 

[backontrack]

It worked, so here's another!

What do the posts in Infrastructure & Stations say?
20% Why shouldn't this line reopen? Just a thought
30% You are all deluded fantasists, we should have another Beeching
20% XC should return to Brighton
15% XC shouldn't return to Brighton, you idiots! £@&!%?!
10% Loco-hauled 442s!!!!!
5% Boring permanent way stuff

I used this: https://www.meta-chart.com/pie

Unlike Numbers, this doesn't require a table first and you can use percentages.

 

[backontrack]

A new one:

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*Bear Grylls*

Voyager to Glasgow via Dumfries...

...better drink my own pee.

 

[Techniquest]

You could have said that about my 158 down the S&C the other day too, when they abandoned all trolley services. On a day when we all needed it too...

 

[Kite159]

A new one:

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Wasn't as bad as north of Newcastle on the ECML on Friday afternoon