Smelly passenger

[bunnahabhain]

What would you say and to whom would you say it ?

If I had an issue I'd just make a few loud comments. If anybody came up to me complaining somebody smells I'd most likely suggest they move.

If an old lady in a wheelchair gets on and she's obviously wet herself (maybe many times) are you going to complain or just feel sorry?

 

[PaxVobiscum]

My apologies, will either of us get an answer though ?

See post #14

 

[Howardh]

Anyone "gone commando" on a train, men or women?!!

There's a regular Naked Bike Ride - presumably for charity or publicity; ever been a Naked Train Ride?
There would have to be guards and drivers natch. Any volunteers?

As for smelly trains, is there much smell from the factory next door to Warrington BQ? Pity the first time visitor to warrington when thet's the first thing they see

 

[Butts]

The train manager/guard should whisper "B.O." and hand the miasmatic Ms. a bar of Lifebuoy soap.

(source: http://www.magazineart.org/main.php/v/ads/personalitems/soap/Lifebuoy+Soap+-1934B.jpg.html)

Blimey that's a "blast from the past" Lifebuoy - can you still get it ?

Had the Train been a Voyager and she was sitting near one of the legendary Wc's it would have dissipated the aroma

 

[swj99]

Would these be of any help in this situation?

5. Unfit to be on the railway
No person shall enter or remain on the railway if, in the reasonable opinion of
an authorised person, he is in an unfit or improper condition or his clothing
may soil or damage any part of the railway or the property or clothing of any
person on the railway

6.(8) No person shall molest or wilfully interfere with the comfort or convenience of
any person on the railway.

It all comes down to definitions again. What is a reasonable opinion ? Is an authorised person's opnion reasonable if it is that someone who smells might have something soaking through their clothes into the seat upholstery ? What's the definition of an unfit or improper condition ?

I'm not sure a person's smell would affect their likelihood to molest or wilfully interfere with any part of the railway or the property or clothing of any person on the railway.

......perfume and cosmetics department.....

Do they breathalyse you on the way out ?

On the subject of air fresheners, a mate of mine once decided to restore his old car. Unfortunately, it had been parked on a farm for a while, and had rats living in it (they got in through the rust holes in the floor). There were rat droppings all over inside it. The smell was terrible. It was so bad, I reckon a few had died and started decomposing in there.
After he'd cleaned it out, we went to the local scrap yard and got all the air fresheners we could find, and put least 20 in the car to stop it smelling so bad. If it had been mine, I'd have just set fire to it instead, but it was a classic car and worth a few quid.

 

[PaxVobiscum]

On the subject of air fresheners, a mate of mine once decided to restore his old car. Unfortunately, it had been parked on a farm for a while, and had rats living in it (they got in through the rust holes in the floor). There were rat droppings all over inside it. The smell was terrible. It was so bad, I reckon a few had died and started decomposing in there.
After he'd cleaned it out, we went to the local scrap yard and got all the air fresheners we could find, and put least 20 in the car to stop it smelling so bad. If it had been mine, I'd have just set fire to it instead, but it was a classic car and worth a few quid.

He could just have told them he must have left a rachtet in the car...

 

[dubscottie]

He could just have told them he must have left a rachtet in the car...

Whats smaller than a Rachet?

A mousechet!!

 

[jon0844]

Maybe we should include showers on trains - although to be fair, forward-thinking Northern Rail already have. Unfortunately they only work when it's raining.

Fingers crossed the shower feature will be retained on the 319s when they go up north.

There's a regular Naked Bike Ride - presumably for charity or publicity; ever been a Naked Train Ride?
There would have to be guards and drivers natch. Any volunteers?

Where would you keep your ticket (and railcard)?

 

[Wolfie]

The train manager/guard should whisper "B.O." and hand the miasmatic Ms. a bar of Lifebuoy soap.

(source: http://www.magazineart.org/main.php/v/ads/personalitems/soap/Lifebuoy+Soap+-1934B.jpg.html)

Wonderful - NOT! If it is a medical condition, which is far from impossible as many other posters have indicated, causing the issue then the train manager/guard could quite legitimately expect at the very least an interview without coffee if he/she was daft enough to do that!

 

[IanD]

Wonderful - NOT! If it is a medical condition, which is far from impossible as many other posters have indicated, causing the issue then the train manager/guard could quite legitimately expect at the very least an interview without coffee if he/she was daft enough to do that!

Jeez, lighten up - it was a joke referencing a TV advert from the 70s.

 

[Howardh]

Fingers crossed the shower feature will be retained on the 319s when they go up north.



Where would you keep your ticket (and railcard)?

In a container which is tied round your neck/arm/waist

 

[GatwickDepress]

In a container which is tied round your neck/arm/waist

Alternately, one can simply plait a holder into their hair*

*assuming one has hair

 

[jon0844]

How would people get to do the ticket dance with no pockets?

 

[GatwickDepress]

How would people get to do the ticket dance with no pockets?

Dance of the Seven Veils, perhaps?

 

[Busaholic]

Anyone "gone commando" on a train, men or women?!!

Sat opposite a young woman on a train once who had done this - not sure if her boyfriend sitting next to her was in on it, but it lasted 90 minutes (and I was only supposed to be going from Euston to Kings Cross)= LOL.

 

[TorqueOfTheDevil]

To answer the original question, if it's really that bad, one should raise the issue with the offender. If they know they have a problem they can try to (a) sort it out so that they don't cause offence or (b) travel at less busy times so that fewer people are affected. If no one dares to mention it, then the individual may never know. And if they do know, a chorus of disapproval is more likely to make them wash and/or not travel than simply doing the British thing and moving away.

Sat opposite a young woman on a train once who had done this - not sure if her boyfriend sitting next to her was in on it, but it lasted 90 minutes (and I was only supposed to be going from Euston to Kings Cross)= LOL.

Busaholic - presumably you take the train more often these days?!

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Sat opposite a young woman on a train once who had done this - not sure if her boyfriend sitting next to her was in on it, but it lasted 90 minutes (and I was only supposed to be going from Euston to Kings Cross)= LOL.

I suppose there's worse reasons to stay on the Circle line for a full circuit! (back when it WAS a circle, that is!)...

 

[BR Class 1.618]

This is such a difficult problem: my first thoughts were to just grin and bear it, but when someone is particularly foul-smelling, and the Air Con is not working, that is not a feasible solution.

My greatest issue with that is: what would one say to him/her? What would one request that they do to solve it?

If at all, it would have to be handled in a way that did not make him/her feel more self-conscious than he/she already is. What a difficult situation.

 

[Butts]

Sat opposite a young woman on a train once who had done this - not sure if her boyfriend sitting next to her was in on it, but it lasted 90 minutes (and I was only supposed to be going from Euston to Kings Cross)= LOL.

I bet you "pole vaulted" off the train at the conclusion of this journey

 

[DownSouth]

This is such a difficult problem: my first thoughts were to just grin and bear it,

As opposed to Busaholic's friend who decided to grin and bare it.

 

[Busaholic]

I do have a smelly passenger story but I wasn't originally going to tell it as it's bus-related, but it's perhaps relevant because an official line was taken on the person concerned.
In London, on a 73 bus to Victoria Station, I was sat rear seat downstairs: we got to the Marble Arch stop in Park Lane and there seemed to be a hiatus, bearing in mind that at this point there are about half a dozen other routes bound for Victoria, and some of them were beginning to pass us. The 'problem' was a tramp straight out of Central Casting, he appeared to be about 70 but he was probably a good decade younger than me. By this time, and with both doors still open, the most appalling smell was emanating from the front of the bus where this bloke was standing, adjacent to the driver's cab. It became apparent that the driver was refusing to carry him and the tramp wasn't having any of it. In a truculent Scottish accent (see, I told you he was from Central Casting) he announced that if anyone touched him he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. As the thought of touching him wasn't uppermost in anyone's mind I think he was safe! The bus driver, a middle-aged man who remained calm and non-confrontational throughout, was by this time calling for police and, five minutes later, pedal-cycling across four lanes of traffic from Hyde Park came, if not Dixon of Dock Green, his modern equivalent, the oldest police constable I've seen in many a year. Again the tramp started on no-one touching him, to which the constable drolly replied they'd both be safe then, but the driver had said the bus wouldn't continue with him on it, so, please be a good fellow and get off. After about two minutes in which the tramp sized the copper up he mumbled something and stumbled off.
This is not quite the end of the story, because when the bus finally got going we had only gone two stops, to the Park Lane Hilton, when the i-bus announcement came on 'this bus terminates here':we had been turned short. Got off, transferred to the first Victoria-bound bus which came along, and who was standing by the driver's cab?!.....
That happened on the last journey I made on a London bus, having done thousands in my time, and was the only time a passenger had been evicted for olfactory reasons.

 

[satisnek]

Reminds me of a time way back, circa 1990 when the 158s were new and we were privileged to have them working on the Stourbridge line. It was a weekday evening service to Brum, possibly the last one of the day, maybe because I was catching the overnight to Scotland or something like that.

Anyway, I boarded and sat at the rear of the second coach of this shiny new 158. The only other passengers were a guy sat further along in the centre of the coach and some people at the far end. The whole carriage stank to high heaven, as if something had crawled into the air-con ducting and died.

So we set off, calling all stations. I was vaguely aware of the guy in the middle getting off at Rowley Regis, but otherwise didn't take much notice. It was only when the train arrived at Langley Green when I realised that the smell had gone and put two and two together....