As I posted earlier in this thread, I agree with your point entirely. I've looked at your list and crossed out anything that the average passenger doesn't need to know.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please do not cycle or skateboard anywhere on the station."
"Please keep your Oyster and bank card separate to avoid card clash"
"Security guards patrol this station 24 hours a day"
"If you require assistance, please speak to a member of staff"
"The 10.30 to Edinburgh will now depart from Platform 5".
"There is no lift service at X station until April"
"Please remember to keep your luggage with you"
"Next weekend services may be disrupted"
So basically 7 out of 8 announcements are completely irrelevant and serve only to stop people listening to announcements altogether and thus miss the one annoucement in 8 they actually need to know!
I don't think the average passenger needs to know what platform the 10.30 to Edinburgh is on as most people won't need it......:roll:

My station doesn't have announcements of any kind, so when when weekend engineering works come up I spend most of the day before wallpapering the station with posters and notices stating what is going on, where buses can be boarded, etc (this is a slight exaggeration). The local "friends of" group will add their own posters on the morning of the works, spend the next week telling me (and my boss) that there were not enough signs up (not an exaggeration) and leave me to remove all the signs (not just the ones I put up). Such is the state of play, that recently I received an email from head office telling me that even though they knew there were enough posters on display, in order to appease the "friends of" group 'extra posters' were on the way.
On other stations I've seen people be told three times, in person, not to ride bikes or scooters on the platforms despite the announcements being made, I've seen people be told multiple times, in person, not to smoke cigarettes on the station despite the announcements being made.
If the announcements weren't needed, believe me, they wouldn't be made. If you think passengers get to hear too much of the announcements, think about the staff who have to work there!
Another pointless one - "Services are disrupted on 5 lines this weekend, for details, please speak to a member of staff or look online" etc etc.
I can see the point if you're referring to a specific line, because it would be useful to announce on the Thursday/Friday "This line will be part suspended this weekend, with the rest of the line having severe delays, due to engineering work. Please consult posters.". This reminds passengers and notifies those who didn't know, and it is specific to that area.
But I don't see the point in a general message that some lines are disrupted. There is some sort of suspension on the LU network every weekend, it's nothing special!
Presumably because people only ever travel on that line and never, ever, change at another station to use a different one?
Presumably the only people who use the tube, use it every day?
.....Arriving early at Bentley for the train into town, 91 roars through around 15 min's before 321, cue elderly couple starting "it didn't stop, disgusting" comments :roll:......
Not restricted to Bentley, or the elderly, I'm sad to say. I've had young (ish) people charge back up to the ticket office to ask why the train didn't stop when I've already told them their train isn't due for another half hour (or however long).
.....People getting off train/to top of escalators, then stopping dead, regardless of how many behind them....
I've seen a chap open the train door step out, pressing the close door button as he goes, and then stopping to check what is in his pocket, completely oblivious to the three or four people waiting to get off the train behind him!
I've seen people with those stupid trolley bags block entire platforms up waiting for a train, while other people (with the same stupid bags) try to get past them without an excuse me (or sorry when they send every other bag flying!) to be heard, though there is usually a lot of mumbling, sighing, tutting, and other such noises.
You could award the "stupid passenger award" to passengers who queue up endlessly at the ticket office when there are ticket machines available right in front of their very eyes. An example of this can be seen at Macclesfield.
In Greater Manchester the TVMs don't issue Cheap Evening Returns, MCT discounted fares and a few others besides, never mind Advance fares, monthly (or longer) seasons and reservations, and then you have to consider the folk who "don't know how to use them"...........