The "And in other news..." thread

[brad465]

This provided a good laugh (pleading not guilty to a widely reported escape and manhunt that is, not the alleged terror charges):

Daniel Khalife pleads not guilty to Wandsworth prison escape

The 21-year-old former soldier is charged with escaping from Wandsworth prison on 6 September.

www.bbc.co.uk

Former soldier Daniel Khalife has pleaded not guilty to escaping from Wandsworth prison in London.
He is accused of escaping from lawful custody, after allegedly breaking out on 6 September and spending four days on the run.
The 21-year-old appeared in court by video link from HMP Belmarsh wearing a bright blue and yellow sweatshirt.
Mr Khalife allegedly escaped prison by strapping himself to the underside of a food delivery vehicle with bedsheets.
Police said he was arrested by a plain-clothes counter-terrorism officer while riding a bike along a canal towpath in Northolt, west London on the morning of 9 September.
Appearing at the Old Bailey on Thursday from the segregation unit at Belmarsh prison, Mr Khalife was told he was charged with escaping from HMP Wandsworth.
Asked by the clerk "are you guilty or not guilty?", he replied: "I am not guilty."
Mr Khalife will be back at the Old Bailey on 13 October and is due to stand trial at Woolwich Crown Court on 13 November.

 

[dangie]

This provided a good laugh (pleading not guilty to a widely reported escape and manhunt that is, not the alleged terror charges):

Daniel Khalife pleads not guilty to Wandsworth prison escape

The 21-year-old former soldier is charged with escaping from Wandsworth prison on 6 September.

www.bbc.co.uk

I’d be interested to hear what his lawyer says in his defence

 

[Baxenden Bank]

I’d be interested to hear what his lawyer says in his defence

He thought he saw something was stuck to the underside of the lorry, so he climbed under to remove it for reasons of safety, lo and behold the truck set off with him clinging to it for dear life. Later, as he was cycling back to the prison, some bystander leapt out and pushed him off his bike.

 

[Purple Train]

He thought he saw something was stuck to the underside of the lorry, so he climbed under to remove it for reasons of safety, lo and behold the truck set off with him clinging to it for dear life. Later, as he was cycling back to the prison, some bystander leapt out and pushed him off his bike.

Thank goodness Boris J is not a lawyer...

 

[GCH100]

He thought he saw something was stuck to the underside of the lorry, so he climbed under to remove it for reasons of safety, lo and behold the truck set off with him clinging to it for dear life. Later, as he was cycling back to the prison, some bystander leapt out and pushed him off his bike.

Interesting how he thinks he's not guilty, when he was missing from prison for a number of days, what's his excuse for that? Was he hiding behind a curtain, or something, and the man arrested on the cycle was that a figment of of the Police's imagination?, did he just happen to look the same as Daniel Khalife????

 

[PG]

I’d be interested to hear what his lawyer says in his defence

Since the charge that he pled not guilty to was escaping lawful custody, the lawyer could try saying that their client didn't view his detainment as lawful?
Maybe I've missed my calling to the bar

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Is it Germany where there isn't a law against escaping from prison because under their "basic law" (constitution) they consider it to be human nature to seek freedom? Or something along those lines. Perhaps that's worth trying for a defendant with nothing to lose...

 

[32475]

During WW2, it was the duty of British and presumably Allied POWs to try to escape from captivity. Maybe Daniel Khalife’s lawyer will argue the case that his client was merely upholding a British tradition!

 

[Baxenden Bank]

Since the charge that he pled not guilty to was escaping lawful custody, the lawyer could try saying that their client didn't view his detainment as lawful?
Maybe I've missed my calling to the bar

I did think that - as a real answer rather than a humorous one!
If you are answerable only to a higher authority (one which some religious people use) then that may well be his argument.

 

[AlterEgo]

He thought he saw something was stuck to the underside of the lorry, so he climbed under to remove it for reasons of safety, lo and behold the truck set off with him clinging to it for dear life. Later, as he was cycling back to the prison, some bystander leapt out and pushed him off his bike.

More believable than some of the stuff posted in the Disputes section.

 

[MotCO]

An athletics competition in India has ended in farce after the 100m final had only one competitor and a steeplechase runner continued running beyond the finishing line while being chased by anti-doping officials.

Lone runner competes in 100m after anti-doping bust in India​

Organisers of Delhi Athletics Championship requested visit from testers after videos emerged of performance-enhancing drugs in toilets




An athletics competition in India has ended in farce after the 100m final had only one competitor and a steeplechase runner continued running beyond the finishing line while being chased by anti-doping officials.
Several winners also skipped their medal ceremony for fear of being asked to give samples during the Delhi State Athletics Championship, according to a report in the Indian Express newspaper.
An official said that the National Anti-Doping Agency (NADA) had arrived to conduct tests at the event on Tuesday, resulting in the number of participants on what was the third and final day of the competition falling by 50 per cent.
The visit came a day after a video was shared on social media which appeared to show a washroom in the capital’s Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium littered with syringes and packets of the performance-enhancing drug Erythropoietin (EPO).



“An odd withdrawal is understandable, but when seven runners withdraw, you know something is fishy,” Sandeep Mehta, secretary of the Delhi Athletics Association (DAA), told the news agency Reuters.
“There are some throwers as well who disappeared before competition and all of them should be tested by NADA. We are sharing with them details of the athletes who fled.
“If any of them return adverse results, we will ban them in Delhi and will recommend the Athletics Federation of India does the same.
“We had written to the NADA on the second day of the competition asking them to come for testing. They have the full right to test those who disappeared.”
Indian sports has been rocked by several doping scandals in recent times and, according to a report released this year by the World Anti-Doping Agency this year, which relates to its findings for 2020, it ranked second in the number of doping violations behind Russia. Positive tests have been returned at the Olympics, the Asian Games and the Commonwealth Games, and a total of 45 athletes have been suspended this year.
Lalit Kumar was ultimately the lone athlete in the 100m final after the seven other sprinters backed out, reportedly due to a combination of muscle strains and cramp.



“I was really looking forward to running against the best athletes, but nobody turned up,” Kumar told the Indian Express. “Everyone was scared of getting tested. As an athlete, I feel very hurt and let down.”
In the junior steeplechase event, it was reported that a girl continued to run even after crossing the finish line and a doping control officer had to chase her in order to retrieve a sample.


The Under-16 boys hammer throw also had only one participant.
“Some of the athletes did not even turn up to collect their medals,” Delhi State Athletics Association president Sunny Joshua told the Indian Express.
Kumar will be awarded a medal and a certificate even though he ran alone in the final,
“He competed with others in the heats; it’s not his fault that the others did not turn up for the final,” Mehta said.
In August, the sprinter Dutee Chand was banned from competition for four years after failing two doping tests, and a 14-year-old swimmer was provisionally suspended.
PSM Chandran, a sports medicine expert, said that EPO, which boosts the blood’s capacity to carry oxygen, was easily available over the counter” and that athletes were not thinking about the potential health implications. “Athletes are not bothered about the side effects,” Chandran told the news agency AFP. “They just want to win a medal at any cost.”
Telegraph Sport has approached both the World Anti-Doping Agency and the Athletics Integrity Unit, which was set up by World Athletics to independently oversee anti-doping, for comment.

Lone runner competes in 100m after anti-doping bust in India

Organisers of Delhi Athletics Championship requested visit from testers after videos emerged of performance-enhancing drugs in toilets

www.telegraph.co.uk

 

[Sun Chariot]

An athletics competition in India has ended in farce after the 100m final had only one competitor and a steeplechase runner continued running beyond the finishing line

Brilliant!

 

[MotCO]

Brilliant!

I assume the steeple chase runner didn't keep going round and round the track!

 

[Purple Train]

Meta announces AI chatbots with 'personality'

At Meta's first in-person event since before the pandemic, Mark Zuckerberg announced his AI plans.

www.bbc.co.uk

Meta has announced a series of new chatbots to be used in its Messenger service.

The chatbots will have "personality" and specialise in certain subjects, like holidays or cooking advice.

It is the latest salvo in a chatbot arms race between tech companies desperate to produce more accurate and personalised artificial intelligence.

Genuine People Personalities are here, everybody! (Heaven help us.)

 

[GusB]

Meta announces AI chatbots with 'personality'

At Meta's first in-person event since before the pandemic, Mark Zuckerberg announced his AI plans.

www.bbc.co.uk

Genuine People Personalities are here, everybody! (Heaven help us.)

That's all we need. Contact your energy/telecoms company for help and find out that their Bot has developed sarcasm

 

[Baxenden Bank]

Meta announces AI chatbots with 'personality'

At Meta's first in-person event since before the pandemic, Mark Zuckerberg announced his AI plans.

www.bbc.co.uk

Genuine People Personalities are here, everybody! (Heaven help us.)

Note that 'personality' is in inverted commas. It's still all still a string of 1's and 0's based on a logical pre-determined process. Tell me chat bot what do you think about the refs decision on Saturday. Don't tell me what an internet search of chat rooms reveal other people are saying, what is your view and why do you think that?

I assume the steeple chase runner didn't keep going round and round the track!

He was doing the high jumps instead.

 

[birchesgreen]

I have to admit i underestimated him, i did think he was so lowly he couldn't get arrested.

Laurence Fox arrested after police raid his home

Actor turned politician Laurence Fox has been arrested after police raided his home in London today.

m.independent.ie

 

[GatwickDepress]

I have to admit i underestimated him, i did think he was so lowly he couldn't get arrested.

Laurence Fox arrested after police raid his home

Actor turned politician Laurence Fox has been arrested after police raided his home in London today.

m.independent.ie

He says: “What? Look at how many coppers there are in my house. That ladies and gentlemen is the country that we live in.”

He then takes a drag on a cigar and puts his thumb up to the camera.

This is one of those 'cool if a comic book character does it, but unfathomably cringeworthy for a failed actor to do' moments.

 

[birchesgreen]

He really is a legend in his own mind.

 

[Citybreak1]

Bed bugs: Eurostar on alert as Paris grapples with infestation

The blood-sucking tiny creatures have been spotted in homes, cinemas, hospitals and trains - but a government minister has insisted there is "no outbreak" on Paris's public transport network.

news.sky.com

Eurostar staff are on alert due to a bed bug infestation in Paris, which has hit the French capital in recent days.

I am sure we all want to travel in confidence.

 

[skyhigh]

I know the bed bugs topic was closed however this is a fast moving story

Bed bugs: Eurostar on alert as Paris grapples with infestation

The blood-sucking tiny creatures have been spotted in homes, cinemas, hospitals and trains - but a government minister has insisted there is "no outbreak" on Paris's public transport network.

news.sky.com

I am sure we all want to travel in confidence.

You are seriously worrying over nothing.

 

[brad465]

Bet the owner of this car is feeling smug:

Scarborough road resurfaced around parked car

North Yorkshire Council say they will return to complete the work at a later date.

www.bbc.co.uk

Council contractors were forced to resurface a road around a parked car after its owner failed to heed signs warning of the impending work.
Photos taken by resident Michael Curtis show workers doing their best to carry on with the work in Scarborough.
Mr Curtis said he thought it was "silly" the car was not moved but North Yorkshire Council said forcibly removing the car was not an option.
A spokesperson said staff would return to complete the work at a future date.
The council said signs had been put up to inform people that parking would be suspended in New Queen Street between 06:00 and 18:00 BST on Thursday, but the Silver Corsa was not moved.

 

[Ashley Hill]

When our road was resurfaced signs were put up saying any cars not removed by the start of work would be removed,and some were!

 

[AndyPJG]

'Still full' portable loos stolen from racetrack (BBC News)

About 35 portable toilets have been stolen from a racetrack.
The theft happened on Sunday at Ludlow Autograss Club in Pencombe, Herefordshire.
The units are owned by Three Counties Toilet Hire which said replacing just one would cost about £1,000.
Niel Griffiths who set up the company in 2020 said: "I'm slightly baffled by it.
"The [toilets are] not easy to move about and some of them were still full. So [the thieves] took full toilets."

IMAGE SOURCE,NEIL GRIFFITHS
The loos are said to cost about £1,000 each
Mr Griffiths said whoever took the devices must have done it in four or five trips.
"It's everything else we put inside them as well, like sanitising units... all that is gone..." he added.
Two portable toilets for disabled users were also stolen, at a cost of about £1,500 each.
West Mercia Police said inquires continued.

"West Mercia Police said inquires continued."...has to be the old punch line of course....Police have nothing to go on...! boom boom

 

[High Dyke]

BBC News - Beans and soup poured into Skegness book bank by 'mindless' vandal

Beans and soup poured into Skegness book bank by 'mindless' vandal

Tins of baked beans and soup are poured into the community book bank in Skegness.

www.bbc.co.uk

A community has rallied round after a "mindless" vandal ruined a book bank by filling it with baked beans and soup.

'Coming up later on World of Sport, Kent Walton will introduce a packed bill of wrestling from Bingley Town Hall, but first...'

Belgians race boats made of giant pumpkins

Thrills and spills as kayakers use pumpkin power in a competition near the city of Antwerp.

www.bbc.co.uk

There were thrills and spills as kayakers carved boats out of giant pumpkins for an annual competition in Kasterlee, near the Belgian city of Antwerp.

 

[gg1]

A K-Pop band's attempt to appeal to local baseball fans at a gig in Texas goes a little awry:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-67204915

STAYC were performing in Dallas as part of their US tour.
But instead of wearing local baseball team Texas Ranger's tops, the girl group appeared in 1990s kits worn by Glasgow Rangers.

 

[Sun Chariot]

A K-Pop band's attempt to appeal to local baseball fans at a gig in Texas goes a little awry:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-67204915

Thank goodness they weren't wearing those whilst performing at Celtic....

 

[birchesgreen]

Tsingtao beer loses its fizz in South Korea after video of worker appearing to urinate into tank​

Tsingtao beer loses its fizz in South Korea after video of worker appearing to urinate into tank

China’s Tsingtao beer reportedly experiences a consumer backlash in South Korea after video of a worker appearing to urinate into a beer tank goes viral

www.theguardian.com

There is a joke about certain other brands of beer somewhere...

 

[Lost property]

Tsingtao beer loses its fizz in South Korea after video of worker appearing to urinate into tank​

Tsingtao beer loses its fizz in South Korea after video of worker appearing to urinate into tank

China’s Tsingtao beer reportedly experiences a consumer backlash in South Korea after video of a worker appearing to urinate into a beer tank goes viral

www.theguardian.com

There is a joke about certain other brands of beer somewhere...

Starting with the obvious....Watney's !...Double Diamond, Brains and, depending on the pub / landlord, Wilson's...it would be unfair to include Hydes as it's already tapped straight from the Irwell and any additives would possibly enhance it...and not forgetting Bud... even though it's best to.

 

[Ashley Hill]

Piddle Brewery - Piddle Brewery

Their beers nice despite the name.