The "And in other news..." thread

[Sun Chariot]

But will we be able to spot the real stories from the spoofs?

SWR's April 1st press release, that 701s will be in squadron service this summer...

 

[High Dyke]

We've got no money, we're all doomed:

BBC NEWS: Every person in the UK poor as the nation runs out of money

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-01042024

Probably not so far from the truth for many of the UK population.

 

[birchesgreen]

If someone had been in a coma for 10 years and came out of it and looked at the front page of a newspaper website today they'd probably think 90% of it was April Fools jokes.

 

[brad465]

If they actually did this it would make HEx more worthwhile:

https://twitter.com/PizzaExpress/status/1774700754952921274

Announcing the launch of the world’s 1st pizzeria on rails! We & @HeathrowExpress have transformed a train into the world’s first moving pizzeria – perfect for holidaymakers setting off from London Paddington to Heathrow airport, from today All aboard The PizzaExpress

 

[nw1]

I did look for stories on the BBC but couldn't see anything.

"Sunak Renounces Brexit" could have been a good one, I guess. Perhaps believable, unlike say Braverman saying the same thing.

SWR's April 1st press release, that 701s will be in squadron service this summer...

Related: as a result of the 701 introduction, SWR to bring back the full 2019 timetable from December and say goodbye forever to Covid cuts.

 

[najaB]

I think they accidentally published their April Fools article early, it's deleted now.

I wonder if it was an internal joke that got pushed to the public site by mistake, since it's quite political for an April Fool's joke.

 

[jon0844]

I thought Rishi's April Fool was that the Government might fine or jail homeless people.

 

[Strathclyder]

But will we be able to spot the real stories from the spoofs? Everything is so surreal now.

You'd need a microscope to be able to tell the difference. We passed through the Looking Glass a long time ago.

 

[brad465]

A lesson to learn, even when it's just intended as an April Fool's joke, if the "story" is serious enough you will still get sued:

Afrobeats star Davido to sue over Kenyan April Fool’s joke

The superstar said a prank story that he had been arrested in Kenya was "extremely irresponsible".

www.bbc.co.uk

[QUOT
Nigerian music star Davido has instructed his lawyers to sue over an April Fool's joke that has spectacularly backfired.
The prank story alleged that Afrobeats singer had been arrested in Kenya after cocaine was found on his private jet.
The 31-year-old, who has just finished an East African tour, said the fake report was "extremely irresponsible".
"I have never been arrested by anyone in any country for any crime in the world," he said on social media.
"Not my home Nigeria, my home America, or any of the hundreds of countries I've made home throughout my career," his statement on X, formerly Twitter, continued.

The April Fool's story - first published by Kenya's K24 TV on Monday - went viral on social media.
The Nigerian megastar, who had just performed to packed audiences at the Timeless Concert in Kampala and Raha Fest in Nairobi, said it led to him receiving a barrage of calls.
Such was the backlash that Kenya's Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) tweeted a screengrab of the headline with "Fake News" stamped across it mid-morning on Monday.
"I want to assure my fans that these reports are entirely untrue. I successfully completed my scheduled shows in Uganda and Kenya and have since returned home to Nigeria," Davido said on Tuesday.
"I find the fabrication of allegations of such international crimes extremely irresponsible regardless of the light of 'April Fools', and my lawyer is seeking legal recourse against the media parties responsible for generating this misinformation."
K24 TV has not responded to Davido's move to initiate legal action.
Many Kenyans felt the prank was inappropriate, but some have been commenting on social media that they hope the debacle can be resolved amicably.
E=]

 

[Peter Mugridge]

Whoops...

Denmark shuts shipping strait over missile failure

The busy Great Belt strait is closed for planes and ships due to a risk of "falling missile fragments".

www.bbc.co.uk

The Danish military says a missile failure on a navy ship has triggered the closure of airspace and shipping lanes near a major shipping strait off the Danish coast.

The National Maritime Authority issued a warning for vessels to avoid part of the Great Belt strait due to a risk of "falling missile fragments".
Ships have been asked to drop anchor if necessary.
A naval exercise began in the area last March and is due to end on Friday.
In a statement, the Danish military said the problem with the missile occurred "during a mandatory test where the missile launcher is activated and cannot be deactivated".
"Until the missile launcher is deactivated, there is a risk that the missile can fire and fly a few kilometres away," the military added.
The missile was launched from the Niels Juel frigate, which has been part of Nato's standing naval force since 2023.
The warning covered an area south-west of the town of Korsor, some 4km (2.5 miles) south of the Great Belt bridge, which crosses the strait.

 

[Gloster]

It seems, according to DR (the equivalent of the BBC), to be just the launching rockets, not the main ones or the warhead, that have been activated. I would have thought that the best thing for any ships in the fairly small area affected would be get the hull out of there.

 

[PG]

I would have thought that the best thing for any ships in the fairly small area affected would be get the hull out of there.

I think I'd sea it that way too

 

[Purple Train]

It seems, according to DR (the equivalent of the BBC), to be just the launching rockets, not the main ones or the warhead, that have been activated. I would have thought that the best thing for any ships in the fairly small area affected would be get the hull out of there.

I don't think your argument holds water. Unless half the crew keel over, I think such a plan would be sailing very close to the wind, and certain faces would be growing rudder and rudder...

But that's just my opinion. I've never mast-ered sailing.

 

[Sun Chariot]

I don't think your argument holds water. Unless half the crew keel over, I think such a plan would be sailing very close to the wind, and certain faces would be growing rudder and rudder...

But that's just my opinion. I've never mast-ered sailing.

Take a bow. unless you prefer the stern approach

 

[Purple Train]

Tale a bow. unless you prefer the stern approach

Neither, I think I went overboard on the jokes...

 

[edwin_m]

Neither, I think I went overboard on the jokes...

You're a star. Board with this now, going to wave goodbye and sink a glass of port.

 

[Sun Chariot]

Following on from post #1380...

 

[brad465]

Following on from post #1280...

I don't think it counts as much if they've been edited together from two different forums, unlike the previous examples which were neighbouring topics in the same forum.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I don't think it counts as much if they've been edited together from two different forums, unlike the previous examples which were neighbouring topics in the same forum.

Yes.... for a thread coupling they have to be immediately adjacent as seen in the threads list. Anyone could edit anything together and it wouldn't be as funny as a chance happening, really.

Incidentally, I think it's post 1380 not 1280...?

 

[Sun Chariot]

I don't think it counts as much if they've been edited together from two different forums, unlike the previous examples which were neighbouring topics in the same forum.

They were adjacent lines on "New Posts"

Yes.... for a thread coupling they have to be immediately adjacent as seen in the threads list. Anyone could edit anything together and it wouldn't be as funny as a chance happening, really.

Incidentally, I think it's post 1380 not 1280...?

Absolutely, they were.
Re: #1380: thanks, I've edited my previous post

 

[Peter Mugridge]

They were adjacent lines on "New Posts"

In that case... approved.

 

[dangie]

From the BBC:

‘Climate change could move "into uncharted territory" if temperatures don't fall by the end of the year, a leading scientist has told the BBC.’

Well I think my back garden is doing its bit. Dull, raining, windy and only 3 degC.

Bl**dy miserable, and I’m not much better

 

[brad465]

Well her flight plans went tits up:

Dublin Airport: Woman asked to remove breast prosthesis at security

Realtán Ní Leannáin was asked to remove her artificial breast after it set off a new security scanner alarm.

www.bbc.co.uk

A woman who had a mastectomy has said she was "stunned" when she was asked to remove her breast prosthesis after setting off a new security scanner alarm at Dublin Airport.
Realtán Ní Leannáin, who is from Belfast but lives outside Dublin, was travelling to Donegal.
She said she was "like a rabbit caught in the headlights" during the incident.
Dublin Airport has apologised and said the situation should have been handled better.
Ms Ní Leannáin told BBC NI's Evening Extra programme: "The security officer didn't even offer to pat me down. She stood and waited for me to remove the prosthesis.
"I couldn't actually think. Every time I attempted to rationalise it, I couldn't."

 

[Trackman]

From the BBC:

‘Climate change could move "into uncharted territory" if temperatures don't fall by the end of the year, a leading scientist has told the BBC.’

Well I think my back garden is doing its bit. Dull, raining, windy and only 3 degC.

Bl**dy miserable, and I’m not much better

I will switch off my heating this winter to save the planet

 

[MotCO]

From the BBC:

‘Climate change could move "into uncharted territory" if temperatures don't fall by the end of the year, a leading scientist has told the BBC.’

In an article in today's Telegraph, it is stated that the cold weather has meant not so many lambs survived the winter. Both can't be correct!

It warned that households could feel the effects of low crop yields and reduced lamb numbers, because many lambs have not survived the unseasonably cold temperatures and heavy rainfall.

Farmers warn of first year without harvest since Second World War

Unprecedented flooding and wettest 18 months on record mean crop yields will be significantly down, with risk of food shortages

www.telegraph.co.uk

Farmers are warning of food shortages as record rainfall threatens to bring the first season without a harvest on some farms since the end of the Second World War.
Vast swathes of farmland are still under water following an unprecedented period of flooding, with 11 named storms since September and the wettest 18 months on record.
The Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board has predicted that wheat yields will be down 15 per cent, winter barley down 22 per cent and oilseed rape down 28 per cent – the biggest drop since the 1980s.
Joe Stanley, an arable and livestock farmer at a research farm in Leicestershire, said he and his colleagues were facing the first year without a harvest since the land was first farmed after the war.
“Unless it basically stops raining today and then it becomes nice and sunny and windy, we’re not going to get any crops in this year. That’s a real danger,” he said. “Many farmers will be in the same situation.”



Farmers are also facing the prospect that crops planted during the autumn will not have survived the flooding brought by repeated storms, the National Farmers’ Union (NFU) said.
It warned that households could feel the effects of low crop yields and reduced lamb numbers, because many lambs have not survived the unseasonably cold temperatures and heavy rainfall.
“It’s no exaggeration to say a crisis is building,” said Rachel Hallos, the NFU vice president. “While farmers are bearing the brunt of it now, consumers may well see the effects through the year as produce simply doesn’t leave the farm gate.”
She added that the situation was a “growing issue for UK food security”, and welcomed a new fund for farmers affected by flooding.
Mr Stanley said farms were facing “an existential moment” because of the changing climate, which could put many out of business, reducing UK food security.
“The problem that we’re facing is that weather is becoming so extreme that it is overwhelming our ability as farmers to continue to grow crops at all in some places,” he said.




Mark Chatterton, a director at business advisers Duncan & Toplis, has estimated that the impact on farm businesses could be significantly worse than the 2019 floods, which led to an 18 per cent reduction in profits.
Farms in areas around the Midlands and the South West hit by Storm Henk in January will be able to claim grants of between £500 and £25,000 under the new fund, three months after it was first announced.
Mark Spencer, the farming minister, said: “I know how difficult this winter has been for farmers, with extreme weather such as Storm Henk having a devastating impact on both cropping and grazing, as well as damaging property and equipment.
“The Farming Recovery Fund will support farmers who suffered uninsurable damage with grants of up to £25,000, and sits alongside broader support in our farming schemes to improve flood resilience.”

 

[najaB]

In an article in today's Telegraph, it is stated that the cold weather has meant not so many lambs survived the winter. Both can't be correct!

Weather isn't climate!

 

[Red Onion]

In an article in today's Telegraph, it is stated that the cold weather has meant not so many lambs survived the winter. Both can't be correct!

Farmers warn of first year without harvest since Second World War

Unprecedented flooding and wettest 18 months on record mean crop yields will be significantly down, with risk of food shortages

www.telegraph.co.uk

A bit concerning regarding the potential lack of harvest. We have very little resilience in our food supply, especially with the loss of prime agricultural land for various reasons. Fingers crossed it is just a warning and not reality!

 

[edwin_m]

Weather isn't climate!

Indeed. One possible consequence of climate change is stopping the Gulf Stream, which keeps the UK much warmer than other places at similar latitudes. That would likely result in much colder winters.

 

[dangie]

Weather isn't climate!

Well the climate is dull, wet & miserable in my back garden

 

[AM9]

Well the climate is dull, wet & miserable in my back garden

No, The weather may be, but the climate is where most the rest of England is.