Tips for a good life when you get old

[Busaholic]

And for our younger readers, that must be what you did before Netflix…

What is this Netflix you speak of? Anything to do with teddy boys and flick knives?

 

[30907]

One thing to add: if you decide to move house for any reason, don't rush it but don't leave it too late. Many people do IME.
And think carefully about location - our criteria were: walking distance (not too hilly!) from bus stop, local shops and surgery (and station!).

 

[Busaholic]

One thing to add: if you decide to move house for any reason, don't rush it but don't leave it too late. Many people do IME.
And think carefully about location - our criteria were: walking distance (not too hilly!) from bus stop, local shops and surgery (and station!)

Distance to nearest hospital with full services including A&E, and even if you have an ambulance station in reasonable proximity, can be added too. I've left it too late tbh, but I'm going to have to move and it's not going to be a picnic.

 

[steamybrian]

Distance to nearest hospital with full services including A&E, and even if you have an ambulance station in reasonable proximity, can be added too. I've left it too late tbh, but I'm going to have to move and it's not going to be a picnic.

I agree about these and although I have a car but in the event of not being able to drive....
The main bus routes are a few minutes walk away. Main railway station within 10 minutes walk. Nearest main hospital about 4 miles but has frequent fbuses rom nearest bus stop. Finally- main shops about 10 minutes walk.
Finally- several heritage railways within 60 minutes drive.

 

[birchesgreen]

Even if you do drive its best to consider how useful a place is if you have to stop. After retirement my uncle and auntie moved to a lovely village. But a few years later my uncle had to stop driving due to age related issues, suddenly their lovely little village became incredibly inconvenient and a virtual prison due to it's very poor bus service. Luckily they had enough dosh to move again somewhere more suitable.

 

[ChrisC]

Even if you do drive its best to consider how useful a place is if you have to stop. After retirement my uncle and auntie moved to a lovely village. But a few years later my uncle had to stop driving due to age related issues, suddenly their lovely little village became incredibly inconvenient and a virtual prison due to it's very poor bus service. Luckily they had enough dosh to move again somewhere more suitable.

I live in lovely village where I have lived for quite some time. Most of my life, right from childhood has been spent living in villages, and so I don’t really want to have to move. I wouldn’t want to leave the village and all the people I know around here. The problem would be if the day comes when I can no longer drive. There is an hourly bus, but not after 6pm and not on Sunday. The bus company were going to withdraw the service recently but the county council have agreed to subsidise it for at least another year. With nearest shop, doctors surgery, post office etc just over a mile away it could become difficult without a car. At the moment I regularly still walk to the shop instead of using my car. The bus fare is extremely expensive but I get my bus pass next month.

 

[Busaholic]

I agree about these and although I have a car but in the event of not being able to drive....
The main bus routes are a few minutes walk away. Main railway station within 10 minutes walk. Nearest main hospital about 4 miles but has frequent fbuses rom nearest bus stop. Finally- main shops about 10 minutes walk.
Finally- several heritage railways within 60 minutes drive.

You sound like you have the main elements sorted, as far as they can ever be, of course. May I wish you a long and happy retirement.

 

[Tazi Hupefi]

Although I believe it is good advice for any age, it becomes more poignant as you get older:

When you go to sleep each night, you do not know whether you will wake up the next. Treat each day as your last. And make sure it's a comfortable bed!

I'd also say that concerning yourself with the luxury of regret is a one way path to an unhappy and unfulfilled old age. You've made your choices, decisions, mistakes and successes over the years. You cannot undo the past, and there will be plenty of time to revisit it in death, so keep marching forwards, don't look back. Not too often, anyway!

 

[steamybrian]

You sound like you have the main elements sorted, as far as they can ever be, of course. May I wish you a long and happy retirement.

Took early retirement at 50.....
Still going strong in my early seventies.

 

[dk1]

Simple,eat all the things you DON'T like ( Brussels/Carrots ,Branny things etc ) don't eat all the things you DO like ( Burgers/Chips/Sweets/ Cake etc ) do all the things you DON'T like ( Exercise/Work/Cleaning/Cutting the lawn etc ) and don't do all the things you DO like ( Lazing around/Late to bed/late to rise/Drinking lots of alcohol /over indulging in sugary,fatty and ultimately tasty food ) and you will live a long and boring life

Think I’d rather be dead. What’s the point?

 

[S&CLER]

From someone who is 83, I absolutely agree (and with other posts that have expanded on these points). But I'd add that it's important to be getting on with these things from as early as possible, and not wait till you've retired.

It no doubt also helps to have inherited the right genes.

Yes. I didn't do that until last year, when my PSA measured 73.5 (should have been about at 8 at my age), and the prostate cancer diagnosis showed it was advanced. Fortunately the medication I'm now having seems to have stabilised the situation, the PSA is down to 0.2, and I'm still reasonably fit and can walk at least three miles without collapsing (I haven't experimented to find out at what point I would collapse), but if I'd had the test done at least a year earlier my overall situation would be a lot better.

This is encouraging to me as I've just this week been diagnosed with localised/ early stage prostate cancer, but with a high Gleason score and grade group (which measure the rate of growth and liability to spread). I only had a PSA test (at age 74) as part of a routine blood test following another unrelated visit to the doctor. My level was 10.9. It was followed up with an MRI scan and a biopsy (which is mildly uncomfortable but not at all painful; I was in Ormskirk hospital by 9.15, had the biopsy, was out of the building by 10:15, on the bus by the front gate at 10:22 and back home at 11:00)). Next Wednesday I have another MRI scan, spinal this time, before the treatment is decided on.
It can't be stressed often enough that in by far the most cases of prostate cancer you will not feel any symptoms until too late; if you do feel symptoms they are often more likely to be due to benign enlargement, not cancer. So do get the PSA test done as a routine, say at age 50, and have it repeated at intervals.

 

[Jamesrob637]

A pet can often be a good idea when the pressures of work aren't there anymore. Obviously it's never that clear-cut, but you'll generally have more time for it than in the working days of yore.

 

[birchesgreen]

Think I’d rather be dead. What’s the point?

Not sure its necessary anyway, i went to the funeral of one of my uncles* last week. He had lived a life which can be best described as "fun" which included lots of wine, especially when he owned a French vineyard in the 80s. Plenty of travel too. Wine. Good food and did i mention wine?

Oh yes, he was 92 when he died!

* Not the one i mentioned earlier, he's still around, he's only 86.

 

[dk1]

Not sure its necessary anyway, i went to the funeral of one of my uncles* last week. He had lived a life which can be best described as "fun" which included lots of wine, especially when he owned a French vineyard in the 80s. Plenty of travel too. Wine. Good food and did i mention wine?

Oh yes, he was 92 when he died!

* Not the one i mentioned earlier, he's still around, he's only 86.

Sorry for your loss mate. Perfect way to live.

 

[Gloster]

Live the life you want to do as soon as you can. I have spent twenty-five years living in a highly dissolute way, which has taken quite a few years off my life expectancy, and I do not regret it one bit. Even if I die tomorrow, I know that I have had my fun.

I have seen several people just missing enjoying any old age. One died in the week he was due to retire and another was bedridden until his death after a heart attack that came less than a fortnight after he sold his business for more than £1 million (net. at early eighties values).

 

[nw1]

I'm not near retirement yet, but I am "getting on a bit", I guess - basically, without giving too much away, part of Generation X and in the 45-55 age bracket. So maybe these are the thoughts of someone a little younger than the target audience for this thread, but anyway...

While my general health is good I do find I am much more despondent about the future than I was a few years ago, and this has really developed since Covid due to the resulting economic crisis and overly-rapid changes to a more stay-at-home lifestyle, which is difficult to adjust to - I have been used to going out to either school, university or work since the age of five. Basically, I have something of a sense of time running out, and that the economic crisis may limit some of my ambitions during my remaining years as an under-60-year-old.

It would be interesting to hear if these are common thoughts in other people aged roughly 45 to 55, and how others "manage" the situation.

 

[341o2]

In addition to physical exercise, mental exercise is just as important. Recently started playing Sudoku, just one example of something to keep the brain cells stimulated

 

[52290]

In addition to physical exercise, mental exercise is just as important. Recently started playing Sudoku, just one example of something to keep the brain cells stimulated

I agree, I'm 78 and I attend Italian classes but I'm not the oldest in the class, she's over 90.

 

[njamescouk]

as above, keep fit. interests beyond eating/working/sleeping - if you haven't got many start getting some. having everything paid for and some cash makes a big difference if you can do it...

 

[Butts]

In addition to physical exercise, mental exercise is just as important. Recently started playing Sudoku, just one example of something to keep the brain cells stimulated

Does the energy expended in lighting a B&H Gold numerous times a day equate to this ?

 

[Howardh]

OK, sobering thought coming up, wondered if 2023 was a prime number, it isn't, so at 64 I've probably got three more prime numbers left, and if I make over 90 then I might squeeze out another one.

Pity we don't get 2020 back, as a cancelled year we should get another one in lieu!

 

[DynamicSpirit]

Does the energy expended in lighting a B&H Gold numerous times a day equate to this ?

No.

 

[MattA7]

I guess making sure you have a good pension also helps. You don’t want to spend your retirement constantly worrying about money. Unfortunately in the UK it’s common for people to neglect saving for their retirement believing their state pension will be enough.

 

[3141]

I'm not near retirement yet, but I am "getting on a bit", I guess - basically, without giving too much away, part of Generation X and in the 45-55 age bracket. So maybe these are the thoughts of someone a little younger than the target audience for this thread, but anyway...

While my general health is good I do find I am much more despondent about the future than I was a few years ago, and this has really developed since Covid due to the resulting economic crisis and overly-rapid changes to a more stay-at-home lifestyle, which is difficult to adjust to - I have been used to going out to either school, university or work since the age of five. Basically, I have something of a sense of time running out, and that the economic crisis may limit some of my ambitions during my remaining years as an under-60-year-old.

It would be interesting to hear if these are common thoughts in other people aged roughly 45 to 55, and how others "manage" the situation.

I see that no-one in the 45 - 55 age range has replied to you, so here are some thoughts from someone aged 83.

I don't know whether it's getting older that makes you feel "much more despondent" about the future, or whether you'd still feel that way even if you were 25 years younger. A friend of mine (a few years younger than me) said about four years ago how much worse the world had become with Brexit and Trump. Now we also have the Ukraine war, the return of higher levels of inflation, and the increasing unreliability of public services. Some will blame it all on the Tories, while others may say we should have invested more in education, training and services and paying our way rather than enjoying the benefit of low interest rates. At your age and with good health you do have the prospect another 25 - 35 years and maybe more. At 83 and with prostate cancer I'm worried about the long-term future and I know it's likely that most of my time has run out already.

My approach is to remind myself that there've been some good times in the past, try to accept that the world isn't necessarily going to stay the way I want it to be, and try to adjust lifestyle and expectations accordingly. Or, to the extent that it's possible, re-prioritise things by (for example) giving up something so that something else can still be done. Those aspirations may become easier to say and more difficult to do as time goes on, but you've got more of that than I have.

As someone I once knew used to say, it's never too late till it is. So I guess we should all do the most sensible thing in the present circumstances and not worry too much about what we can't.

 

[181]

I'm not near retirement yet, but I am "getting on a bit", I guess - basically, without giving too much away, part of Generation X and in the 45-55 age bracket. So maybe these are the thoughts of someone a little younger than the target audience for this thread, but anyway...

While my general health is good I do find I am much more despondent about the future than I was a few years ago, and this has really developed since Covid due to the resulting economic crisis and overly-rapid changes to a more stay-at-home lifestyle, which is difficult to adjust to - I have been used to going out to either school, university or work since the age of five. Basically, I have something of a sense of time running out, and that the economic crisis may limit some of my ambitions during my remaining years as an under-60-year-old.

It would be interesting to hear if these are common thoughts in other people aged roughly 45 to 55, and how others "manage" the situation.

I don't know whether it's getting older that makes you feel "much more despondent" about the future, or whether you'd still feel that way even if you were 25 years younger. A friend of mine (a few years younger than me) said about four years ago how much worse the world had become with Brexit and Trump. Now we also have the Ukraine war, the return of higher levels of inflation, and the increasing unreliability of public services. Some will blame it all on the Tories, while others may say we should have invested more in education, training and services and paying our way rather than enjoying the benefit of low interest rates. At your age and with good health you do have the prospect another 25 - 35 years and maybe more. At 83 and with prostate cancer I'm worried about the long-term future and I know it's likely that most of my time has run out already.

I'm a similar age to @nw1; I wouldn't say I was despondent, but I think I understand what he means. On the one hand I am comparatively fortunate -- I have a reasonably stable job (touch wood) which I can do mostly in the office, and a reasonable prospect of my personal finances keeping me at the 'modest but comfortable' level that I'm used to. But a) economic problems could easily have a detrimental effect on the public services, businesses, cultural activities, etc. that I make use of, b) getting by OK loses some of its shine if people around you (or elsewhere) are suffering, and c) who knows what might happen over the next few decades with international relations, climate change, etc.? If anything, getting older helps, in the sense that the time left for things to go wrong is less -- I've had 50-ish years in which things might have gone wrong but haven't (at least not too badly) and, unlike for my younger acquaintances, anything more than 50 years ahead won't affect me directly even if I reach the same age as my longest-lived known relative.

In hindsight, perhaps those of us whose adult lives began (give or take a few years) with the end of the Cold War should have thought 'that's great, but it's a high point from which things can only get worse', and then we'd have been less disappointed by recent events.

I can certainly relate to the sense of time running out -- although I haven't discussed it much with anyone, I suspect that it's common among people our age, except perhaps for those with immediate problems serious enough to keep their minds off the longer term. This may seem strange to people much older, but when I think how recent 30 or so years ago feels, and how old I'll be in another 30 years, old age seems alarmingly close.

Apparently studies (albeit not all studies) suggest that on average people tend to be least happy in mid-life and things get better after that; a quick Google search found this, for example. Presumably that applies on average, though, as everyone's situation is different.