The most stupid question you have been asked

[Dave1987]

This is mainly aimed at rail staff.

One of the guards was asked by a passenger the other morning "what time does the 06.38 to London leave?".

What other stupid questions have people been asked?

 

[Starmill]

I'm not staff, but I have a purple shirt that apparently makes me look like a Northern person, and I was once asked where the next train to Reddish South was going from. I expect the poor soul actually wanted to go to Reddish North.

 

[Lrd]

Why aren't you driving the train? (Said to a guard)

Or

Where is the toilet? Whilst standing next to it.

Or

Why do trains have horns?

 

[heart-of-wessex]

Why aren't you driving the train? (Said to a guard)

Or

Where is the toilet? Whilst standing next to it.

Or

Why do trains have horns?

!! The first and last one sounds like something that a 2 year old would ask amongst a tonne of other 'whys', not adults!

 

[E16 Cyclist]

At paddington "which way does the train go" bear in mind there's a big concrete concourse at one end of the station

 

[Jonny]

This is mainly aimed at rail staff.

One of the guards was asked by a passenger the other morning "what time does the 06.38 to London leave?".

What other stupid questions have people been asked?

It isn't just railway staff who get asked dumb questions. We the train-travelling public get our unfair share too and we don't get paid to deal with them.

Even - or especially - as a passenger myself - is being asked "does this train go to..." - resulting in a quite sarcastic response along the lines of 'probably' 'it had better...' Mind you, I was amused when someone else once lied to a passenger in similar circumstances (saying no when it was going somewhere - LOL; mind you everyone else just kept quiet). All this in spite of clear information from the display screens.

 

[O L Leigh]

"Are you sure...?"

O L Leigh

 

[Tomonthetrain]

East Coast one whilst in First Class

Me to staff with my breakfast: "Can I have a extra slice of toast"

 

[Captain Chaos]

'Does the train to Banbury stop at Banbury'. Was uttered to me so many times at Oxford barriers that it stopped being funny.

 

[Qwerty133]

I heard 'where's the quiet coach' on a 2 car 170
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

'Does the train to Banbury stop at Banbury'. Was uttered to me so many times at Oxford barriers that it stopped being funny.

Bit like people asking staff how much does this cost in poundland

 

[chris89]

At paddington "which way does the train go" bear in mind there's a big concrete concourse at one end of the station

Heard that quite a few times at Edinburgh on the bay platforms.

Even lovely other half has said that at Glasgow Queen Street low level, even though just saw the train arrive.

Chris

 

[D2022]

At Trowbridge I got asked 'do you have to pay to travel to Westbury, it's only 5 minutes' so just pointed to the giant PF sign next to me and nodded.

Best one I've has was at Bath. Women with a child waiting on platform 1 wanted to go to Chippenham. She asked me why all the trains went the wrong way. Bless her she was looking at the two car stop sign thinking it was a platform number.

 

[quarella]

I must have a certain look as people will walk under the departure screen, round 3 members of station staff and 2 traincrew in separate groups, all in uniform and wearing hi vis to ask me, wabout the next train's calling points. I just send them to a member of staff.

Back in my early rail enquiries days a lady rang for train times on a Sunday. "Change at X for a replacement bus service to Y...."
She interrupted me. "A Bus! What's a bus?"
The only response I could think of to fill the silence was "About 12 metres long, 2.5 metres wide. 6 wheels. Carries about 50 people."
Somehow she accepted that and we carried on with her enquiry. I expected to be called in by the supervisor for days.

 

[D2022]

I must have a certain look as people will walk under the departure screen, round 3 members of station staff and 2 traincrew in separate groups, all in uniform and wearing hi vis to ask me, wabout the next train's calling points. I just send them to a member of staff.

Back in my early rail enquiries days a lady rang for train times on a Sunday. "Change at X for a replacement bus service to Y...."
She interrupted me. "A Bus! What's a bus?"
The only response I could think of to fill the silence was "About 12 metres long, 2.5 metres wide. 6 wheels. Carries about 50 people."
Somehow she accepted that and we carried on with her enquiry. I expected to be called in by the supervisor for days.

I've done the old ' about 8 coaches ' when someone's asked me how long the train will be. Hehe

 

[CC 72100]

I heard 'where's the quiet coach' on a 2 car 170

Well, I was quite surprised to find out that a quiet zone existed on an LM 323 earlier

 

[Sadsmileyface]

"What's the difference between a single and a return?"

Of course, they refer to the price.


But it's funnier to explain the difference between the two concepts.

 

[Dave1987]

I must have a certain look as people will walk under the departure screen, round 3 members of station staff and 2 traincrew in separate groups, all in uniform and wearing hi vis to ask me, wabout the next train's calling points. I just send them to a member of staff.

Back in my early rail enquiries days a lady rang for train times on a Sunday. "Change at X for a replacement bus service to Y...."
She interrupted me. "A Bus! What's a bus?"
The only response I could think of to fill the silence was "About 12 metres long, 2.5 metres wide. 6 wheels. Carries about 50 people."
Somehow she accepted that and we carried on with her enquiry. I expected to be called in by the supervisor for days.

That is a quality answer!

 

[Crossover]

Well, I was quite surprised to find out that a quiet zone existed on an LM 323 earlier

Get a few RUK members playing Uno and it doesn't quiet for long! (then we saw the signs and were equally taken aback )
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

At paddington "which way does the train go" bear in mind there's a big concrete concourse at one end of the station

Not me on this occasion but a fellow forum member I was travelling with fielded a similar question while on the blocks at Blackpool North! I'm sure some passengers, once on a train, lose all sense of direction!

 

[gooner88]

For me it would have to be while working Richmond. Passenger asks for the underground so i point the the tube stock while naming the platform to get the response along the lines of "no i want the underground" "but that isn't underground" wouldn't mind if they were tourist questions

 

[90019]

I pulled up at a bus stop a few days ago, driving a 12 with 'Ratho' showing on the front and side screens. There was a guy standing at the stop who looked up at the front of the bus as I was pulling in, looked at the side screen once I'd stoppped and opened the doors, then got on and asked 'Does this bus go to Ratho?'.

I've done the old ' about 8 coaches ' when someone's asked me how long the train will be. Hehe

"Does this bus go into the Royal Infirmary?"
"I'm afraid not, it's a bit big to fit through the doors"

 

[Butts]

East Coast one whilst in First Class

Me to staff with my breakfast: "Can I have a extra slice of toast"

Very Witty TB ....although I managed it last time

 

[Nym]

Stood on the 1st set of doors on coach B of a 350... "Does this go to Euston?"

Just pointing wasn't enough, had to say, "No, that's the platform, that stays here, this (pointing at the train) goes to Euston Railway Station..."

Or the everpresent pain in the arse whenever I'm on Allsop Place, "Where's Madamde Twosords?"

(Bearing in mind I'm on the corner of Marylebone Road and Allsop Place...!)

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Bit like people asking staff how much does this cost in poundland

I've never actually understood why people consider that stupid - for example drinks in poundshops can be 4 for £1 or similar, which in turn mean they are individually priced (usually around 29p each), so it's not a stupid question at times really: I often end up spending 58p on two drinks in Poundworld!

 

[Yew]

Why aren't you driving the train? (Said to a guard)

The best reply in the situation is to act like you have forgotten you where supposed to be driving.


I sure (or at least hope). That someone asked 'is this the train to Newark' at Lincoln last weekend, when there was a steam train in the platforms..

 

[tsr]

I was standing on a platform at Great Portland Street the other day, reading an Evening Substandard. I was not wearing my orange HV jacket, nor anything else railway-related. I was interrupted by the question:

"Is this train going to Paddington?"

This was asked by a relatively "normal-looking" lady with a definite London accent when:
a. an LU train was approaching with "Hammersmith via Paddington" displayed on the front
b. all the DMIs above the platform were correctly functioning and showing the destination as "Hammersmith via Paddington"
c. the audio announcements were correctly functioning
d. a massive route map and several accompanying signs were within 10-20 feet
e. the platform was not noisy or crowded

I couldn't be bothered to search for a witty response. I simply demonstrated, potentially very embarrassingly, by pointing at the map and saying loudly "Yes. We are here, and that train there announced as "Hammersmith via Paddington" will be going there, as per this line on this map".

 

[dstrat]

Well god forbid her for intruding into your life.

 

[Temple Meads]

The most stupid I've ever been asked is "what is the most stupid question you've ever been asked"?

/toungeincheek

 

[tsr]

Well god forbid her for intruding into your life.

It was the fact that she was clearly in an environment where there were few distractions to inhibit her use of the abundant information provided! It really is not hard to work out what the words "Hammersmith via Paddington" mean if they are plastered on every conceivable communication system known to TfL! In addition, I saw her looking (and listening) for the information and, moreover, noticing it!

 

[MidnightFlyer]

I have been asked a fair share of seemingly stupid questions whilst out and about, however I will always smile and give them the answer they're chasing, despite how stupid some people could deem them asking to be. I'm sure at some point in all our lives we've been in environments where we haven't been entirely sure of where we are going or what we are doing, if I had to ask someone something that they would think obvious I wouldn't like it if they were condescending when they could see that I genuinely wasn't too sure about the matter in hand.

 

[bb21]

For me it would have to be while working Richmond. Passenger asks for the underground so i point the the tube stock while naming the platform to get the response along the lines of "no i want the underground" "but that isn't underground" wouldn't mind if they were tourist questions

Try telling them where the Overground is at Whitechapel when stood on the Underground platforms.

I was standing on a platform at Great Portland Street the other day, reading an Evening Substandard. I was not wearing my orange HV jacket, nor anything else railway-related. I was interrupted by the question:

"Is this train going to Paddington?"

This was asked by a relatively "normal-looking" lady with a definite London accent when:
a. an LU train was approaching with "Hammersmith via Paddington" displayed on the front
b. all the DMIs above the platform were correctly functioning and showing the destination as "Hammersmith via Paddington"
c. the audio announcements were correctly functioning
d. a massive route map and several accompanying signs were within 10-20 feet
e. the platform was not noisy or crowded

I couldn't be bothered to search for a witty response. I simply demonstrated, potentially very embarrassingly, by pointing at the map and saying loudly "Yes. We are here, and that train there announced as "Hammersmith via Paddington" will be going there, as per this line on this map".

I think some people get naturally nervous when they travel, for a number of reasons. Maybe they don't travel much and had bad experiences from the past such as missing their stop or the CIS showing information for and subsequently boarding the wrong train, maybe they don't believe themselves, etc.

I can kind of understand such questions as an assurance for themselves. Some people simply do not believe what they see for themselves. My previous housemate always used to ask me as the train approaches when we go to Nottingham together, "Is this the one to Nottingham?", despite it being shown on the CIS in massive fonts "1530 NOTTINGHAM calling at Nottingham".