‘This train is the Southern Service...’ 01/12/17-03/12/17
This report is unusual in that it features a 3 day trip, and doesn't feature a ‘silly o'clock' start! A few weeks ago there was a competition in the Manchester Evening News in conjunction with FlyBE and ‘London’ Southend Airport to win so many free return flights. I, of course, entered this competition-the desire (being a Northerner) to get ‘owt for nowt' trumping over anything else!
The bit I wasn't expecting was to actually WIN the competition! As such, after contacting relatives in Chelmsford, I booked flights for this weekend and started to make a plan. I had a lot of different plans-one of which included a visit to Shippea Hill (should it have remained as the least used station that is!)
After a morning at college, I returned home to pack a bag for the weekend and called Northern to chase up two delay repay claims. 49 minutes later, I got through to Northern who told me that they had received them and they were being processed. My Dad gave me a lift to Manchester Airport and I got through security quite quickly. Terminal 3 was quite busy and there were few places to sit, but I found a spot by a gate which wasn't open. After about 20 minutes, my gate was announced and I headed downstairs to Gate 16. The Liverpudlian inside me sneered in disgust at Manchester Airport's offering of complimentary copies of The Sun newspaper as I headed to the gate. There were very few people waiting and I was, for the first time ever, in the first rows to board the flight!
A FlyBe ATR 42, EI-FMJ, was my winner chariot for the short flight down to Essex. And a very nice flight it was too! Once I'd got over the fact that it was the smallest commercial aircraft I've ever seen, I was onboard and waiting for takeoff. Very friendly crew, ‘provided for your comfort and service but primarily for your safety' to quote the captain (DOO TOCs take note...) a smooth, clear ride and a quick flight. Not bad for free!
Touchdown was on time to the second, and that was where things went wrong... I picked up my stuff and got off the plane, and headed outside the terminal. I was getting a lift back to Chelmsford, so I didn't have to worry about getting a rail ticket or anything. It was when I was unpacking I realised I had a big problem. I'd left my tablet on the plane! A lot of swear words were used-especially as ALL of my potential plans for the weekend were on it and tried to get in contact with the airport. I was unsuccessful that evening, so I made a plan for the next day whilst thanking my lucky stars that I'd brought my Baker atlas with me!
I didn't get an awful lot of sleep that night, so thankfully it wasn't an excessively early alarm the next morning. I'd planned to catch the 08:21 service from Chelmsford to Liverpool Street for safety reasons (it's a 90+mk3 rake with a Safety Critical guard) but having had a shorter queue in the ticket office than expected, and it being rather cold, I boarded double winners 360102+360105 towards London. The service was quite busy so I was standing, as it's preferable to the middle seat in a 3+2 configuration. Looking at RTT, I realised I could bail at Shenfield for a +5 onto an ex Southend. Bonus shack, yay!
A nearly empty winner 321339 was my traction onwards from Shenfield, I got an empty bay of 4 in the motor coach for the 15 minute non stop run to Stratford. A Crossrail 345 was spotted terminating at Chadwell Heath which I was tempted to catch, but it meant waiting 15 minutes at Stratford which I flagged in favour of LU. I intended to catch the 09:31 from Victoria-but decided to catch the 10:06 instead once I caught the ‘Tube Bug' again! I boarded triple winners 91321+91016+91228 (forgot to get the last one) for the short move to Mile End. It was still fairly early, but the train was nearly empty! I bailed at Mile End where I was intending to board the next Central line service-but a quick look at my LU map told me I'd get more shacks by boarding a District line train. In the end I decided to board whatever arrived first. And that was..... winner S7 21307 on a Richmond service. A short wait on Stepney Green's platforms was in order before winner 21306 took me on to the next stop, the building site of Whitechapel station where I had a 4 minute wait for the next train. Uggh... 4 minutes waiting on LU is equal to about 4 hours in the rest of the world!
Winner 21412 arrived, which I boarded and it said a strange thing-which I didn't clock initially... ‘This is a Circle Line train to High Street Kensington’! I bailed at the next stop Aldgate East, hoping for a shortish fester (as a H&C service was useless to me). The screens said the next District was in 6 minutes! I took a seat knowing I'd be here a while, but then literally out of nowhere winner 21490 arrived. I was hesitant to board-as I didn't know where it was going! The onboard announcer said it was a District train so on I went! And off again round the corner at Tower Hill obviously...
My next move, something of London Underground legend, was a COMPLETELY EMPTY required 22392 to Monument. I bailed, noting the 2 minutes until the next train. After a mental debate deciding whether I'd have enough time to go and purchase breakfast from the shop set back from the platform, winner 21529 rolled in to take me to Cannon Street. I mean, I could have just waited for the next train-but that's totally against my natural Northern instincts! The thought of ‘I'll wait an extra 2 minutes' has literally just entered my mind...
After another traditional 2 minute wait, 21394 took me to Mansion House. I was starting to think of onward moves now, as nothing between Blackfriars and South Kensington is required-I scored those on the way to Victoria Coach Station in February. I could score South Ken and easily get my train (and some much needed scran) from Victoria, but after bailing out of dud (GRR!) 21414 at Blackfriars (and remembering that I have already alighted upstairs and boarded LU down here) I had a better idea.
Up through the barriers I went, and out of the station. A quick scan round saw the famous Sainsburys Local and also a coffee shop advertising a hot drink+bacon butty deal for £3.49. That's me sold! A very nice hot chocolate and decent bacon butty were devoured on the way up to the GTR Thameslink platforms-that's definitely somewhere I'm going back to should I find myself near Blackfriars in the morning again! My travelcard rejected in the barriers, which prompted the thought of ‘for f*** sake here we go...’ (though BFR was the only place it didn't work interestingly!) The gateline staff had to come over and let me through. As soon as I was through, I was called back-knowing some of the things I've read on here about GTR, this could have been literally anything...
‘Sir, something's leaking in your bag...’ well she wasn't wrong. There was liquid dripping out of the bottom of my bag as an entire can of sprite had decided to empty itself! The can seemed sealed though, so I've no idea how that happened! In hindsight, leaving my tablet on the plane was probably a good thing-or else it’d have been in my bag and potentially damaged! I finished the last of my breakfast before boarding winner 700034 on a Sutton service. I took advantage of the ‘First Class' area which was completely empty to try and sort my bag out. I also took advantage of a plug socket-which as I found out later didn't work. I was also glad I'd flown down as I'd emptied most of the utter crap that was littering my bag in preparation for my flight. My ICRS book had got a bit damp but miraculously everything else was pretty much fine, with the exception of a GA timetable. I had a brief panic that I'd boarded the wrong Sutton service, but thankfully all was ok. I couldn't score any Sutton loop shacks, which had been my wish, but I bailed at Streatham instead intending to do a same direction +14. Bonus shack number 1.
I noticed a Luton running a couple of minutes late, so I legged it over the bridge and dived onto the 700. I forgot to ID it when I bailed at bonus shack number 2, Tulse Hill. I only had 5 minutes to board the southbound service which, disappointingly, was formed of dud 700023. I sat in Standard for only the second time ever and I do think the heater (or whatever it is) by the wall is quite intrusive-though not half as bad as on Merseyrail 142s. In response to a comment made by Bletchleyite (IIRC) on another thread, the aisle is wide enough for two people to pass-as I did it. The legroom looked a fair bit less than on other units with ironing boards, not that that's an issue for me. I feel as though I'm the only fan of the 700s at times... (though they need wifi really, even us TPEites have that on refurbished units and 350s!) I bailed 10 minutes later at bonus shack number 3, Mitcham Junction. Whilst waiting at Mitcham Junction, I finally received some welcome news! An email from London Southend Airport saying they had my tablet! It'd cost me a fiver to get it back-but I couldn't care less about that, I was just relieved! And that's coming from a tight fisted Northerner...
The pattern of bad luck I'd picked up over the last 18 hours would remain as I took dud 455844 to Epsom. I'd looked at using SWR (Something I'm yet to do) down to Epsom from Waterloo, but a rail rep from Raynes Park put me off... the 20 minute journey to Epsom went quite quickly and I was now on required track. Mentally I had Epsom noted as an SWR Shack, however it is GTR Southern. A nice and safe pair of SWR 455s arrived ex Guildford and seemed to be carrying very few passengers indeed.
Unfortunately my onward move was not one of those with a Safety Critical Guard onboard... it also wasn't one to bring the red pen out either! Seriously... I've had so few 377s and I get a dud on the longest distance move I've ever done on one! It wasn't all bad though as it was dud 377613 with plug sockets. Thankfully these did work! Shortly after boarding the OBS came through to check tickets which was a surprise. I was on this train down to Horsham, which was a surprisingly fast and scenic journey. After one of the intermediate hourly served stations, Ockley I think, there was a very unexpected section of jointed track! The train, station screens and the station signs themselves all seemed to disagree on whether the station before Dorking is called ‘Boxhill & Westhumble' or ‘Box Hill & Westhumble’ (it's Cark/Cark & Cartmel all over again...)
I had 15 minutes or so at Horsham, most of which was spent on a London Bridge 377 getting a few extra percent into my phone battery. My next move was formed of (thankfully) winner 377114 as far as Chichester. This was a 12 car service (approximately 6 times the length I'm used to!) Which the front 4 coaches were heading to Portsmouth with the rear 8 heading for Bognor Regis. The Pompey train was fairly well loaded, but I managed to get an empty pair of seats in the front coach. I was on this train for about 40 minutes, which went really quickly. The views out of the window were much better than expected-the line gets quite remote in places and the train only called at Barnham. I considered staying on this train to Havant, but that would have resulted in either an hour fester at Warblington-or only scoring ONE intermediate shack between Barnham and Havant, neither of which were ideal! As such I bailed at Chichester after a PNB onboard for a 15 minute fester. The station was filled with the all too familiar sound of Enviro 200/300/400 buses rolling over the crossing and an even more familiar noise from a Littlehampton service... PEP THRASH!!
15 minutes flew by and in rolled winner 377435 on a Portsmouth semi fast. This of course meant I had to bail at Southbourne. Another 15 minutes passed and the Southampton train arrived, also a semi fast. Dud 377465 (BOO!) pulled in to take me one stop down the line to Emsworth. Another 15 minutes passed and in rolled winner 377417 which was another 1 stop hop to Warblington. As I boarded at the door the OBS was stood at, I did get my ticket checked this time. The OBS was very friendly and was chatting to a small group sat immediately opposite. From a purely customer service point of view, onboard this train at least, the OBS concept does work. Of course, the second member of staff needs to be Safety Critical and needs to be guaranteed to be onboard, and in full control of the doors and safety, although getting guards out of the back cab is something I will fully support and should always be encouraged.
I had 45 minutes at Warblington, a Permit to Travel machine was spotted so I exchanged 10p for one as they are something of a rarity these days. Noting my phone battery being at 39%, I turned it off for the 40 minutes until the train and went into my lunch. Several fast trains passed and after what felt like very little time 377417 returned. I noticed a couple of times the OBS was mid-transaction and returned to the doors at a station, keyed in, checked the platform, stepped back onto the train, keyed out and returned to his transaction. I was later told the OBSs are meant to check the platform as a guard would. In which case... why not call the OBS ‘Guard'!?? Ok, the OBS doesn't give the signal to depart (as in, buzz buzz) but the driver isn't going to look at his camera and leave the OBS on an empty platform, is he? (Though he may miss the OBS at night due to the image being so poor...) I fail to see how the recent ASLEF deal actually really benefits GTR? OK, they can run properly DOO if the OBS calls in sick at the last minute, but surely the negatives (eg. Having to keep the OBSs and pay them a guard's wage) FAR outweigh the perceived positives? Unless I'm missing something obvious?
I turned my phone back on-and saw the battery had drained itself to 8%. WHILST TURNED OFF! Eek...! I plugged in a power bank which got it up to 44% (it was £1 from Poundland, alright... thankfully I had a hunch it wouldn't be the best and bought 3!) It felt like I was this train for a while before I bailed at Fishbourne for another 45 minute fester. Whilst waiting for my train, one of my friends rung me and said he'd just bailed out at Pilning. Being told to keep up at the back wasn’t something he took too kindly to! Unlike me, he'd been to Temple Meads beforehand though... (makes mental note to go back to Bristol!)
I was in need of a PNB when my 4 coach Portsmouth service arrived-however it had lost a coach and become 313216, not ideal! Thankfully it was a winner, and it was running perfectly to time-which was good as I had a 5 minute connection at Nutbourne. Bailing at the back of the train and heading across the crossing I was soon watching the Littlehampton train arrive. This too was a 313 and, worse, a dud! 313215 was my chariot at far as Chichester. I'd planned to bail at Barnham but couldn't wait much longer-plus I knew there was a facility at Chichester. Less than 5 minutes later, winner 377161 pulled in. I was heading back towards the smoke now-but not on this 377! This was non stop from Barnham to Horsham, which wasn't something I wanted to do. A ten minute fester at Barnham passed and I boarded the very rear coach of winner 377425, with dud 377436 upfront.
I decided to be a bit naughty onboard. Spying the empty ‘First Class' section (and noting there were only 2 other passengers in the coach) I plugged my phone in and left it in First Class. (I was sat on the first standard seat of course) It started to go dark in the 20 minutes I was onboard to Pulborough. When I bailed, I noticed we were only just on the platform and the ‘do not pass this point' sign was about level with the first window in the middle section of the rear coach-therefore the rear door was past it. I'm not saying that wouldn't happen on a safe train-in fact the one time I saw a train open up with a door off the platform was a pair of 350s, which obviously have a safety critical guard onboard...
Of course, there was no additional danger in this case and everything was fine. The waiting room was locked annoyingly, it was starting to get cold. I had half an hour to waste, which passed quite slowly actually. I was rather glad to see winner 377409 arrive taking me one stop onto Billingshurst. As I bailed here, I spotted a Tesco express so chose to head to that for a supply raid. There was quite a lengthy queue which was good as it wasted a bit of time. I had to catch the next Northbound train as the Horsham-Dorking line has a poor service (and I'm saying that as a Northerner!) And the last train from Horsham is at 18:04! Winner 377116 was my chariot to Horsham. When the OBS appeared, I showed my Warblington-Ewell East return and my travelcard and asked if I was ok to stay on this train. He said that was fine which saved me a good 40 minutes (more tube vegging!).
I bailed at Horsham to see which unit was going to crash into us (hoping for something with plug sockets-but that was not to be.) As I lost my table seat, I decided to board winner 377451 to continue the journey to London. The route between Horsham and Three Bridges was required track, not that I saw much in the dark sadly. This was also the first time I've been at Gatwick on something other than something set up to con tourists into paying £19.80 to get to London... (not that I paid that of course!)
Looking at my dwindling battery, I had to think quickly. Remembering how slow the stagger from East Croydon to Blackfriars is, I bailed at East Croydon! Technically a required shack as I've never photted the shack sign before. As I alighted, I noticed a strip of blue lighting along the platform edge-what’s that about? Is it something to assist DOO drivers? I wasn't waiting long before winner 700115 rolled in and I took a seat in a fairly busy ‘First Class' section for some much needed phone charge! The stagger was indeed painfully slow-which was good for me of course. We didn't break down at City Thameslink and I bailed at Farringdon International. As much as it'd be good to see-I do feel that 24tph is wishful thinking...
I was done with National Rail now so headed to the tube. I managed to take the wrong exit and got lost, but got onto the platform shortly before a Metropolitan line train was due. I'd earmarked the Jubilee line as one I could possibly clear before heading back to Chelmsford. Winner 21005 was taken for the 9 and a bit mile journey to Wembley Park. This was also required track past Baker Street and wow it was fun! (Aside from dropping my chocolate muffin on the floor and the whole thing disintergrating. That was not fun.) I bailed at Wembley Park, having passed two Stanmore trains on the way. I’d make a dig at Wigan Rugby, but the 2017 Challenge Cup Final was an absolutely fantastic game of rugby league... I can't even take the piss out of Wigan for it-it could easily have gone either way for most of the game, but thankfully the better team managed to win the cup which was even better. (It's not often that Warrington fans support a Yorkshire team that's for sure!)
I'm going to type up the Jubilee line moves as I'm conscious this is a rather long report, and nothing interesting really happened-aside from grabbing a couple of refurbished trains, which I was pleasantly surprised with as the pictures made them look quite poor. (All trains were winners unless otherwise stated)
96069+96024 Wembley Park-Kingsbury
96028+96023 Kingsbury-Canons Park
96074+96055 Canons Park-Stanmore
Dud 96024+Dud 96069 Stanmore-Queensferry
Dud 96028+Dud 96023 Queensferry-Neasden
Dud 96055+Dud 96074 Neasden-Dolis Hill
96009+960xx Dolis Hill-Kilburn
96027+96032 Kilburn-Willesden Green
96085+96018 Willesden Green-West Hampstead
96080+96115 West Hampstead-Finchley Rd
96025+96082 Finchley Rd-St. John’s Wood
96003+96030 St. John’s Wood-Swiss Cottage
96114+96029 Swiss Cottage-Bond Street
The double backs were caused by me trying to be clever. Neither of them worked and I ended up missing the train I was hoping to catch both times! I bailed off the Jubilee at Bond Street as the headways had been rather large, trains were being held to ‘regulate the service’ and there was congestion around Green Park due to an event. Over to the Central line then! And I'd needed a PNB since Neasden...
I headed onto the Central line platforms-a train soon pulled in which was absolutely rammed-quadruple winners 91171+91124+91010+91099 for the 4 stops to Chancery Lane. There was a mass exodus at Oxford Circus, seemingly few people boarded-which was a pleasant surprise. A sub-2 minute wait later, quadruple winners 91317+91198+91462+91123 arrived which were even busier than the previous train had been at Bond Street. I wasn't onboard for long though as I left the train at St. Paul's. It was about 21:05 at this point, my train from Liverpool Street was at 21:30 (a safe train to Norwich). Quadruple winners (again) 91217+91140+91172+91333 took me to Bank. I decided to be greedy and ballsy here... my train from Liverpool Street was in 20 minutes. Therefore the sensible thing to do was board the next Central Line train, right? Nope! I hiked down to the Northern line platforms, just missed a train (arse!) And boarded double winners 51557+51530 at 21:17. 13 minutes until departure...
Off I went at Moorgate and up to the Circle line. I misread a sign warning passengers the Westbound platform was closed and was now resigned to the fact I'd missed my train. However as I'd misread it I was fine and walked straight onto winner Metropolitan line S8 21109 for the short hop to Liverpool Street. 8 minutes until departure...
Getting out of the station was hard work as the entrance onto the concourse was shut! I eventually found the exit onto the street and headed into the mainline station, taking a second to appreciate how nice the building is from the outside! I headed straight for platform 10, making it through the barriers 5 minutes to spare. Resisting temptation to make a rude gesture at the dispatchers who were aggressively blowing their whistles to try and hurry everyone onto the train. I could understand that kind of behaviour up to 2 minutes before departure, but 5 minutes before? Really?? I didn't succumb to the intimidation to board the train, hopefully to the annoyance of the dispatchers, and boarded about halfway up the train at my leisure, 3 and a half minutes before departure. I was partly tempted to leave the door wide open, but thought better of it.
After a very urgently needed PNB, I found a seat on this very busy train and put my phone on charge. I was rather annoyed to be on dud 91105 but oh well, it's safer than the Colchester Town DOO service! I was predictably wedged out at Stratford, but the journey was fine. Arrival into Chelmsford was on time which, very surprisingly, had been a theme of the day! Don't get me wrong, I was expecting this day to be a total farce (especially given all the setbacks I'd had over the previous two days!) But it really couldn't have been much better. GTR Southern always seems to work when I'm using it-which is quite annoying when the expected free journeys don’t produce! (Had I stuck with one of my plans-Coastway East out of Brighton-I'd have been caught up in disruption caused by trespassers on the Eastbourne branch and been on PEPs wedged full of Liverpudlian football fans. And I've not come to the South Coast to do THAT!)
I met my Uncle on the concourse at Chelmsford and we went to the chippy before heading home to watch I'm a Celebrity. A much better night was had, unsurprisingly, and I woke up at about 1PM. That wasn’t part of my plan... I wasn't too bothered about heading out to do same direction festers on branch lines on a Sunday anyway really. It soon became time to head to the Airport-watching Air Crash Investigation on TV less than 3 hours before flying was probably a questionable move...
I was cleared through security in record time, I found some really helpful staff who worked on tracking down my tablet. This was soon brought through security to me, which was a HUGE relief! Paperwork signed and overpriced bottle of coke in hand, the gate was opened for boarding. Southend Airport is rather small, with just 6 departure gates, but it does the job very efficiently indeed. For the amount of people milling around, there was ample seating *take note London Euston* and boarding didn't take long at all.
We were let out onto the tarmac and I was rather disappointed to see I had the SAME ATR-42 back home! For the second time in less than 48 hours I found myself boarding EI-FMJ, and even being greeted by the same member of Cabin Crew! The flight was about two thirds full this time, and it was another smooth, relaxing flight back to Manchester. When we landed there was a slight delay in opening the doors as the ground crew weren't outside the plane at the right time. Making damn sure I had everything in my bag this time I alighted and headed out through arrivals. My Dad was waiting to give me a lift home (something that cost him £4 for the pleasure of parking for just three minutes...) at the end of a great weekend! I'm conscious that was a rather long report-so thanks for sticking with it!
13 NR winners
45 LU Winners
18 winner NR Shacks
27 winner LU Shacks
