Auto Anouncments - Errors/funny sayings

[P156KWJ]

According to an American study, most terrorist attacks aimed at the railway happen in a station or on a train!

well duh! But face it, why would Al Quaeda spend loads on blowing up a station just to make a handful of deaths, and why do you think they chose London, Madrid & New york instead? explain that.

 

[mooster]

The driver has very little or nothing to do with the PIS system on the SWT sets although this is reversed on the 350s with the driver having full control only from the desk which they have "unlocked" for driving from. With the desiros the only items I beleive the guard can access are the "Free-text" and some preset messages. Free text is useful for setting the destinations as the drivers don't always arrive early enough for passengers benifit! Another problem is that if the driver keys out on the 350s too early it can lock up the PIS and prevent messages from completing, then when the next driver activates the system it finishes what it should have announced!:grin:

"Can the guard please contact the driver" always strikes fear into me, normally means theres a problem up ahead!!

On a SWT 444, I once heard "If any first aiders are on board, could they make themselves known to the guard" (or similar) - thought that was a good idea. I wonder just how many preset phrases there are like that? I've also witnessed the "forced" "Please keep feet of seats". I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but are there any plans to sort out the memory issue resulting in big gaps in announcements with lots of stations - e.g. when on a stopper from Weybridge - Waterloo (which stops at stations I didn't even know existed), Celia gets half way through the full journey list and takes a 15 second breather after Hounslow

 

[jv3531]

Try beggars operate on this train, you must by a ticket to travel on this train,weekend upgrades, delays and buffet or lack off to name but a few! There are at least 20 as far as I know if not more, depending on whats happend with updates!:grin:

 

[mooster]

Try beggars operate on this train, you must by a ticket to travel on this train,weekend upgrades, delays and buffet or lack off to name but a few! There are at least 20 as far as I know if not more, depending on whats happend with updates!:grin:

Ah yes, the beggars one! That makes me chuckle when I hear that coming out of Waterloo - you just don't expect to hear it!

 

[jv3531]

I do like it when the driver operates their master key after shutting the system down to early on the 350s, you usually with the terminates here and this train has completed its journey and is no longer in service announcements whhich realy confuse passengers as they are boarding for the next trip, usually happens minutes before the train is due to depart so loads of paniking!!!:grin:

 

[dan_atki]

Try beggars operate on this train, you must by a ticket to travel on this train,weekend upgrades, delays and buffet or lack off to name but a few! There are at least 20 as far as I know if not more, depending on whats happend with updates!:grin:

'You must buy a ticket before you get on one of our trains. If you cannot show a valid ticket when you are asked, you may have to pay a penalty fare' is totally pointless IMO (well the first bit at least as you're ON the train already to hear it!).

The engineering work one is a good one (well it was when it was Phil!): 'May we remind you that track improvement works can change the train timetable during weekends, early mornings, and late in the evening. Please check your train times before you travel or ring train enquiries on 08457 48 49 50. Thank you'.

I agree that the beggars one is funny too although I can't quite remember how it goes.

At least 20!? I guess they're mainly delay reasons though?

 

[Edvid]

Another one based on incorrect splicing is/was (depending if she's been replaced by the new FCC Phil) Sarah at LTN. She always said 'First Capital Connect service tood Bedford'.

She's gone now - LTN has finally joined the crowd.

 

[dan_atki]

She's gone now - LTN has finally joined the crowd.

Nooooo! LTN's Sarah was different to all the other ones!

Arghhhh that leaves Blackfriars........ When will it lose/did it lose its Ditra? (I also wonder if the new system will have 'Southeastern' in it when it is replaced - in fact also CTK's: that Ditra couldn't do 'Southeastern'!).

I said it before, and I'll say it again, the new FCC system is more suited to Central London stations... it is definitely worse than even a basic Ditra at open air stations! Especially so when Luton's (again as was the case with the Ditra) does not have every file it needs... Saturday's 1753 Sheffield is a perfect example 'The train now approaching platform 5 is the 1753 East Midlands Trains service to Sheffield. Calling at: Bedford, Wellingborough, Kettering, Market Harborough, Leicester, Loughborough, Beeston, and Sheffield'.

What happened to an up inflected 'Nottingham', as well as 'Langley Mill', 'Alfreton', and 'Chesterfield'?

Oh and whilst I'm having a rant about FCC (TL)'s 'new' system why is 'London Midland' not in BDMs? :roll: Another botched CIS job... along with screens I think are useless (LED boards would be so much better...).

I also notice that with delays on it, under a certain length (not sure precisely how long but I'd make a guess at 10 minutes) and it's just 'to xxx is delayed. FCC/EMT are sorry for any inconvenience caused', with no length of delay at all - really useful that is! Reasons are hard to come by too, only one I've heard (at STP) was 'due to a passenger being taken ill earlier'.

Actually come to think of it what would happen if an LM at BDM was delayed? They can't leave the announcement as 'service to Bletchley is delayed. are sorry for any inconvenience caused'! (Saying that, they probably would, though...).

 

[jv3531]

Something along the lines of "Beggars operate on some of our trians. If you see a beggar please tell a member of staff and do not help them by supporting their activities"! Yes several are delay related, such as 10 minutes late etc or "Due to disruption this train has changes to its scheduled stops". Others are for seeking medical assistance, buffet facilities, short platforms and even passengers using railcards.:grin: There is also one for no delays currently on LU, don't know how often that gets used though:roll:

 

[dan_atki]

Something along the lines of "Beggars operate on some of our trians. If you see a beggar please tell a member of staff and do not help them by supporting their activities"! Yes several are delay related, such as 10 minutes late etc or "Due to disruption this train has changes to its scheduled stops". Others are for seeking medical assistance, buffet facilities, short platforms and even passengers using railcards.:grin: There is also one for no delays currently on LU, don't know how often that gets used though:roll:

Ah ha, that's it! The one on inner SWT stations is funny too 'Beggars are known to operate on this station. Please do not encourage their activity. SWT gives money to charity on your behalf.' or something like that

Wow! They can do loads! The short platforms one is kind of annoying though coming up from Weymouth on a stopper in the rear part. 'Customers for this station, please move forward from this part of the train due to the short platform at this station' too many times to count in Celia's annoyingly happy cheery voice.

Haha, no wonder not many people know about the no delays on LU one!

Ah yes, just remembered there's a trolley service one too! Something along the lines of 'A trolley service of hot and cold refreshments will be passing through the train. Your assistance in keeping the aisles clear from obstructions is appreciated'.

 

[jv3531]

Yes, they are only announced in apropriate units to which is realy clever, such as the rear four of an 8 car or rear 8 on a 12 car. If memory serves me correctly, if handles detachments as well in that way to if say only the front four are carrying on etc.:grin:

And the full ticket check! Very clever system realy!:grin:

 

[me123]

The Northern 321s are so loud they hurt, SWT 458s are rather painful too (so I can imagine 334s are!)

The 334 ones are painful when you're at the door waiting to get on (an anti-overcrowding measure? ) but when on board, they're not too bad. And the 318 tends to resonate around Central Upper Level quite a lot.

 

[thefab444]

One thing the Desiro system can't handle is divides on route. Was on the 1635 Waterloo - Weymouth & Bournemouth on Friday, I was in the front Weymouth portion and Celia just announces... "Welcome aboard this South West Trains service to Weymouth. Calling at Winchester, Southampton Airport Parkway, Southampton Central, Brockenhurst, Bournemouth, Branksome, Parkstone, Poole, Hamworthy, Wareham, Dorchester South and Weymouth". She didn't mention the fact the train would divide at Southampton Central, but as I got off at Winchester I don't know if she does that on the approach to Central? Anyway, Celia can also announce about Quiet Zones.

The "pause for breathe" is because the computer's memory is too small to hold all the stations so it has to reboot.

 

[1D53]

The Northern 321s are so loud they hurt,

God they do. Ouch!

 

[jv3531]

One thing the Desiro system can't handle is divides on route. Was on the 1635 Waterloo - Weymouth & Bournemouth on Friday, I was in the front Weymouth portion and Celia just announces... "Welcome aboard this South West Trains service to Weymouth. Calling at Winchester, Southampton Airport Parkway, Southampton Central, Brockenhurst, Bournemouth, Branksome, Parkstone, Poole, Hamworthy, Wareham, Dorchester South and Weymouth". She didn't mention the fact the train would divide at Southampton Central, but as I got off at Winchester I don't know if she does that on the approach to Central? Anyway, Celia can also announce about Quiet Zones.

The "pause for breathe" is because the computer's memory is too small to hold all the stations so it has to reboot.

Think the guard may have put in the wrong route code. If not, there is a manual message that can be put out unless it got removed when they changed from phil. It should do it at he station just before the train arrives. I know it works with attachments when its programmed correctly!

 

[P156KWJ]

I know it's not an auto announcement but the conductor on the Sheffield-Norwich tran had no idea what he was on about! ex Central Trains RMT were on strike and so Ex MML staff were required to run a limited service between Sheffield and Nottingham. But of course, they don't sign the usual trains (158s) so a 7 carriage class 222 stepped in to help. The few remaining exCT crews at Nottingham then took the service onward to Norwich on a 158. So this guard on the meridian says "Any passengers for Norwich will have to change at Nottingham to a different train, as this train is not allowed past Nottingham... *long pause* due to the track size." Track size? didn't know meridians had different wheelspans than 4' 8.5"

 

[class 313]

I know it's not an auto announcement but the conductor on the Sheffield-Norwich tran had no idea what he was on about! ex Central Trains RMT were on strike and so Ex MML staff were required to run a limited service between Sheffield and Nottingham. But of course, they don't sign the usual trains (158s) so a 7 carriage class 222 stepped in to help. The few remaining exCT crews at Nottingham then took the service onward to Norwich on a 158. So this guard on the meridian says "Any passengers for Norwich will have to change at Nottingham to a different train, as this train is not allowed past Nottingham... *long pause* due to the track size." Track size? didn't know meridians had different wheelspans than 4' 8.5"

I'm sure he knew what he was on about just couldn't be bothered to explain to the normal passengers, they probably believed him too.

And they do sign Sheffield to Nottingham.

 

[dan_atki]

One thing the Desiro system can't handle is divides on route.

They have always been able to handle detachments

 

[thefab444]

I wonder why Celia didn't say "Weymouth and Bournemouth" - maybe because they are not two clear destinations? God I miss Phil.

 

[dan_atki]

I wonder why Celia didn't say "Weymouth and Bournemouth" - maybe because they are not two clear destinations? God I miss Phil.

As said above, I think it was probably a case of an incorrect code being put into the system seeing as the rear 5 coaches would be stopping at stations the front 5 wouldn't be so it should be announced as two distinct trains.

On the other hand, Ditra does it as a splitter at SOU and announces it as 'Weymouth and Bournemouth'.

 

[jv3531]

If PIS is programmed to it would announce as weymouth and bournemouth - they have programmed the suburban circles to announce via ... so again, down to the person programming the routes i would guess. Also, if you were in the front unit then as with short platforms, it would only announce the splits in the rear 4, 5 or 8 vehicles anyway. Most of the codes are now on the job cards so unless an upate had occured over night and changes the messages, I would think that it was possibly an error on entry or the route had not had the appropriate announcements added to it when it had been created. Message may also be only played when the train is approaching station - if the PA is used by any of the train crew during loading or announcing that will over-ride any announcement which should be played prior to the PA call being made.

 

[dan_atki]

Also, if you were in the front unit then as with short platforms, it would only announce the splits in the rear 4, 5 or 8 vehicles anyway.

That would seem very dodgy. Although the two portions are primarily following the same route down the SWML, after SOU the front (Weymouth) part is fast to Brockenhurst and then again to Bournemouth. The rear (Bournemouth) part will call at Totton, Ashurst New Forest, Brockenhurst, Sway, New Milton, Hinton Admiral, Christchurch, Pokesdown, and Bournemouth.

So say you wanted one of the slow stations and you were in the front 5 coaches believing that you'd get there anyway, to have no splitting announcements in the front part would be very misleading.

Even on splitting Electrostars (well Southern 377s at least), the two destinations (and the calling patterns) are announced to the whole train along with the number of the coach you are currently in so you know exactly where you will be going and if you need to move to another coach.

 

[jv3531]

If this was the case I would asume that the guard would make an appropriate announcement (as per the handbook guidelines?) to supplement the announcement made. I know that when it was Phil, the system would normally be the fast service and would only announce the through stations that that particualar train was calling at. Upon arrival where the unit was split the guard who took over the rear portion would then enter a new code for the new service - this was normally also given a new head code aswell, which would then display and call the new stop sequence. This has to be one of the only limits on this system unless anyone knows any different!

 

[P156KWJ]

I'm sure he knew what he was on about just couldn't be bothered to explain to the normal passengers, they probably believed him too.

And they do sign Sheffield to Nottingham.

I know they do, but Ex MML don't sign Nottingham-Norwich

 

[dave12435]

by the way with electrostars and splitting u get interesting results on the sie illuminated boards
We have tarin that plits at ashford internation with the front four GOING TO ramsagate via canterbury west and the rear 4 to Ramsgate vi Folkestone Dover and Sandwich
cos the system cant handle a splitting servve with an "and" as well as a "via" at the same time the board reads "ramsgate and ramsgate"

 

[Waverley125]

Anyone remember Shaun on the GNER Newcastle-London service? What with LKX being congested in the mornings, the train would often be held in Gasworks for 5 mins before being allowed into the station. 'Shaun Time' worked a little differently though. We'd enter Copenhagen and he'd be on the PA saying (in a thick Geordie Accent) 'Ladies and gentlemen thankyou for travelling with GNER today, I am pleased to announce we are arriving into London King's Cross five minutes early'. Very funny.

 

[LilLoaf]

I heard this on a FSR service when travelling from Dundee - Edinburgh
"The next stop on this service is Kirkclady change for stations on the fife circle pause - actually don't this train is revised we now go via fife circle - pause - erm probably, please listen for further annoucement the singleman may instead route us through Germany for a change. Giz a sec i don't know whats happening, wait there".

this was a manual one made from the driver or guard. He was a very funny and happy guy and made the journey very enjoyable

haha "wait there" as if we could go anywhere

 

[rail-britain]

I used to travel on the Cathcart Circle quite often
When you got a Class 334, it used to get confused very easily...
No sooner had you left a station than it would say you were arriving or at that station!
Sitting behind the cab and once the announcement had finished, I then heard "How the ^%^* do switch that off"

Recently between Cumbernauld and Glasgow Queen Street the announcer missed out Gartcosh and Stepps, so as we approached Springburn we got the entire lot!

 

[P156KWJ]

crackly HST announcement on EMT:
Goo.....ning ladies &.......name.......the buf....t now open serving..........of ho.......cold snack......dwiches....pastries. Bu..... situated....... coach F at.......of standard cla.......tha.....ou for ch.....g East Mi......s T...ns

 

[adc82140]

At Farnborough once, just after the fast Basingstokes had been introduced early on in the life of SWT..

"Platform 2 for the xx:xx South West Trains service to Basingstoke calling at and Basingstoke". Obviously the auto announcement had been cobbled together out of the usual "Fleet, Winchfield, Hook and Basingstoke" heard at Farnborough, but with one word too many left in

I only heard it the once. Must have been noticed and fixed pretty quickly.