Blackadder star Tony Robinson has helped coach rail staff to deliver new "comedy" announcements.
Written by Richard Preddy, who wrote the sitcom Green Wing, the announcements aim to make the Birmingham to London journey enjoyable.
In one, passengers listening to "noisy iPods" will be advised to get a better taste in music.
Robinson, who played Baldrick, spent a month helping Chiltern Railways staff learn the lines.
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It's important to note that we aren't trying to turn everyone into a comedian
The announcements will also be heard at London Marylebone Station.
'Racing Underground trains'
Preddy said: "We have all waited for a train or a bus into work as the rain pours down and bustled our way to a seat and I think comedy can help to alleviate that stress.
"Everyone we met was so enthusiastic and the feedback so far has been fantastic.
"It's important to note that we aren't trying to turn everyone into a comedian.
"Rather we are hoping to bring out a little more of the staff's personality and humour via their day-to-day announcements and help cheer up the commuters along the way."
The announcements passengers will hear include:
"I'd like to welcome passengers boarding this 7.33 from Birmingham Moor Street to London Marylebone. If you've just bumped into someone who you barely know, you now have one hour and 30 minutes of awkward small talk. Good luck."
"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capital's overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life."
"We will shortly be passing through West Ruislip where we will be racing the Underground trains. Do please feel free to cheer for our driver."
"Will any passengers listening to noisy iPods please get a better taste in music. Thank you."