Just to add fire to the seat discussion...
I sat on a few on, at a guess, 387 213 or somewhere around that region, and they are pretty dire really as seats go IMO (obviously I was working so didn't get to sit for long ).
The term 'Ironing Board' sprung to mind immediately.
Could I suggest instead "The term 'Unsprung Ironing Board' sprang to mind immediately"?