Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Gloster]

I send a 12 stamp books worth out every year, but it’s mainly to elderly relatives who love all that kind of thing.
I can cope with doing 12 cards just about.

All my elderly relatives are dead.

 

[Cowley]

All my elderly relatives are dead.

You are the elderly relative then.
Do you want me to send you a card?

I’d have to buy another stamp…

 

[Gloster]

You are the elderly relative then.
Do you want me to send you a card?

I’d have to buy another stamp…

I am afraid that Christmas cards have long struck me as a waste of time, effort and resources. Moving large quantities of dead tree around the country and the world in order to express patently obvious opinions or absolute lies annoys me. Particularly annoying are those cards sent out by offices with everybody’s signature on them: you don’t know who most of them are, half of them don’t know who you are (or just know you as a name on an invoice) and it is all going down under the PR budget.

 

[75A]

I can cope with doing 12 cards just about.

That's 11 more than we send. My Sister still lives in Sussex so she get's one through the Post, half a dozen or so neighbours get one put through their letterbox and that's it.

Bah Humbug

 

[Cowley]

I am afraid that Christmas cards have long struck me as a waste of time, effort and resources. Moving large quantities of dead tree around the country and the world in order to express patently obvious opinions or absolute lies annoys me. Particularly annoying are those cards sent out by offices with everybody’s signature on them: you don’t know who most of them are, half of them don’t know who you are (or just know you as a name on an invoice) and it is all going down under the PR budget.

Years ago I worked in various places for Social Services in Mid Devon and of the three day centres I did work in every single service user gave you a card (and expected one back).

“To Nick
From David” etc.

Over 100 cards…

 

[MattRat]

On the topic of Christmas, I'd ban the lack of snow (at least in my area). It isn't really Christmas unless it snows.

 

[Acey]

I don't see how cards are relevant in these days of social media ,for a few years we have donated the approx cost of cards/postage ( £50 ) to an animal charity, make me feel all superior too

 

[PeterY]

Family photos as christmas cards.

You could make a good argument for banning all greetings cards full stop on environmental grounds, but none are as naff and cringeworthy as family photo cards.

Sometimes people put the whole year, in a letter, inside their cards. I don't like photo cards especially of babies.

I send a 12 stamp books worth out every year, but it’s mainly to elderly relatives who love all that kind of thing.
I can cope with doing 12 cards just about.

I wrote 22 cards, mainly to my customers ,which I think is nice, especially if I get a Christmas box, all hand posted. None to family and 3 to friends which I had to post. If I get a card from someone I didn't send a card to, I don't worry.

 

[Cowley]

Sometimes people put the whole year, in a letter, inside their cards. I don't like photo cards especially of babies.

I wrote 22 cards, mainly to my customers ,which I think is nice, especially if I get a Christmas box, all hand posted. None to family and 3 to friends which I had to post. If I get a card from someone I didn't send a card to, I don't worry.

I wish you’d come and do my garden Peter. I’d make you tea and everything.

Actually thinking about it…

Customers that don’t offer you a cup of tea even though you’re outside getting rained on and blown around in a gale!

 

[PeterY]

I wish you’d come and do my garden Peter. I’d make you tea and everything.

Actually thinking about it…

Customers that don’t offer you a cup of tea even though you’re outside getting rained on and blown around in a gale!

It's a shame you're sooooooo far away. I've my customers well trained, if they're in they make me tea or I'm allowed to go into the house and make my own. (Even during lockdowns) . One customer cuts my hair, another does my sowing, even had washing done and I get shopping ordered. One customer I've done several rail tours with (Common interest). Why would I want a real job ??I only work part time.

 

[Techniquest]

Don’t send any out in the first place. That way nobody is left out, or everybody is left out, but there are no exceptions.

I'm with you there and, indeed on the environmental concern. It's all from a long-gone era, high time it was stopped. I can only imagine how much closer to reaching the world's carbon targets we would be if Christmas cards (and birthday cards!) ceased to be a thing!

I've bought 3 Christmas cards, one each for the little sister, my brother and my mother. That's it, no-one else. I only bought those as they're all stuck in the idiotic mentality of having to have cards and lots of them for birthdays and Christmas, and I'd only get moaned at for not giving cards. I've said time and time again I don't care for receiving cards, but I still get given them. Ugh...

Fortunately, my squad at work all know me well enough to not bother giving me a card and that they won't get one back. One of them is Jehovah's Witness, so she doesn't do Christmas, and I have to say she has got the right idea there, I'm a little bit jealous as she gets to spend time with her family and friends doing normal people things!

I am looking forward to seeing what Christmas is like as a vegan though. It has its advantages, in that I'm only having vegetables, stuffing and gravy so my meal is super easy to cook. Frustratingly though, the little sister is the only one who insists on having a gammon joint on Christmas Eve and a turkey joint on Christmas Day. Despite her being the only one who will be eating it, unlike several years ago when my brother (who eats meat but mostly processed stuff) and I would both have some. So I will have to wait longer for my meal just because of a meat eater!

Don't get me fired up on Christmas presents either! Or wrapping paper, which this year I'm refusing to buy and contribute to the annual waste of. I have two boxes from Bulk which I'm going to re-use and another present will happily fit in the small Adidas shop bag that I have lying around. Much more environmentally friendly, and yes I will be insisting on re-using the boxes and bag for future use!

Sticking very much with the Christmas theme, and apologies for the long rant above but I really needed to vent about that, let's add something to the list of banned things:

The strange and seemingly Western society notion that Christmas time must involve extreme amounts of alcoholic beverages. Honestly, the amount of it I'm seeing going out just yesterday was enough to make me want to facepalm!

 

[dgl]

Dry, as opposed to freshly made. Got to say, I only use dried.

Watching "Two Greedy Itailians" Antonio Carluccio claimed that pasta should be dried as the whole point of pasta was that it was cheap and could be stored once dried, something very important in somewhere like Italy where money was very tight.

 

[52290]

Boarded up pubs

 

[XAM2175]

Smart meters.

They bill them as being good for the environment and able to save you money.
The reality is, a 5p photocopied leaflet listing which are the most expensive appliances to run in a house would tell you the same thing. Plus the 5p photocopied leaflet wouldn't stop working when you changed energy supplier....

The concept is sound inasmuch as they allow for remote reading and better measurement of usage. It's the deployment here in GB that's been a colossal farce - really they should have just said "you need a replacement meter; either make an appointment or we'll just turn up when it suits us".

 

[Legolash2o]

Walking into a shop and having my glasses steam up due to a face mask is annoying but then having member of staff ask me questions whilst I'm trying to clean my glasses. It's good service and all but it's hard to focus on multiple tasks whilst you can't see anything.

Dead lightbulbs on crossing buttons. Hearing a tut from someone pressing the button thinking I've not pressed it to only still no have the light come on.

People who drive too close to the car infront. The other week someone was bumper to bumper on the motorway. Horrifying!

Double roundabouts.

 

[A Challenge]

Dead lightbulbs on crossing buttons. Hearing a tut from someone pressing the button thinking I've not pressed it to only still no have the light come on.

Can I expand that to dead crossing buttons, there's one near near me on a busy road by a roundabout that the call button doesn't work properly on one side of the road, meaning if no-one is crossing the other way it can be interesting getting across the road - though its not working seems to be random

 

[Busaholic]

Watching "Two Greedy Itailians" Antonio Carluccio claimed that pasta should be dried as the whole point of pasta was that it was cheap and could be stored once dried, something very important in somewhere like Italy where money was very tight.

Couldn't stand Carluccio (my wife witnessed him eviscerating a hapless waiter in his Covent Garden restaurant decades ago when he actually was a cook!) but he had a point there.

 

[birchesgreen]

Couldn't stand Carluccio (my wife witnessed him eviscerating a hapless waiter in his Covent Garden restaurant decades ago when he actually was a cook!) but he had a point there.

Blimey, though being a top chef i guess the waiter was disembowelled very neatly.

 

[Techniquest]

Dead lightbulbs on crossing buttons. Hearing a tut from someone pressing the button thinking I've not pressed it to only still no have the light come on.

Double roundabouts.

I have to confess to having tutted someone more than once in my adulthood! The egg on my face after finding out the light was not working properly...

Definitely with you on double roundabouts as well, the double mini roundabout at the top of Aylestone Hill in Hereford is most irritating. There isn't really a sensible solution for the layout of the junctions other than what's there, but it is still just annoying.

Someone mentioned smart meters, and I agree they're not as helpful as I expected. One was put in this house months ago, and it wasn't long before it was switched off, unplugged and put somewhere. I genuinely can't recall where it was put! A great idea, as they do a good job of showing just how much power is being used, but in a house where the majority of the occupants don't care then it's pointless. I don't use lights in rooms when I can avoid doing so, for example, but some people are more than happy to burn through electricity without a care in the world!

 

[birchesgreen]

Someone mentioned smart meters, and I agree they're not as helpful as I expected. One was put in this house months ago, and it wasn't long before it was switched off, unplugged and put somewhere. I genuinely can't recall where it was put! A great idea, as they do a good job of showing just how much power is being used, but in a house where the majority of the occupants don't care then it's pointless. I don't use lights in rooms when I can avoid doing so, for example, but some people are more than happy to burn through electricity without a care in the world!

A.k.a. the people who don't pay the bills

 

[gg1]

Someone mentioned smart meters, and I agree they're not as helpful as I expected. One was put in this house months ago, and it wasn't long before it was switched off, unplugged and put somewhere. I genuinely can't recall where it was put! A great idea, as they do a good job of showing just how much power is being used, but in a house where the majority of the occupants don't care then it's pointless. I don't use lights in rooms when I can avoid doing so, for example, but some people are more than happy to burn through electricity without a care in the world!

I can see why some people would find it useful, but other than idle curiosity, I really see no benefit to me in being able to do that. Like you I only use the power I need, knowing exactly how much electricity I'm using by having the lights on in a room I'm occupying, powering the PC I'm using at the time, powering the oven I'm cooking my dinner in etc etc would make absolutely no difference to my behaviour.

 

[Techniquest]

A.k.a. the people who don't pay the bills

Pretty much so I'm afraid, of course there's a huge lack of environmentalism in these people too

I can see why some people would find it useful, but other than idle curiosity, I really see no benefit to me in being able to do that. Like you I only use the power I need, knowing exactly how much electricity I'm using by having the lights on in a room I'm occupying, powering the PC I'm using at the time, powering the oven I'm cooking my dinner in etc etc would make absolutely no difference to my behaviour.

Indeed, I would use it as a curiosity but that's it. Some people could benefit from looking at one to trigger the 'How much am I spending? Good grief!' and start teaching good habits.

Now and again I might get interested enough to see how much electricity is used in powering the oven and gas hob to cook a meal, but I already have my power usage nice and low with almost nothing else I can cut down usage on.

Sadly it seems we are of a limited breed!

 

[PeterY]

A.k.a. the people who don't pay the bills

To quote my late father "there's more lights on than the illuminations at Blackpool" and "were you born in a barn?" (leaving doors open) .
Today I'm very careful and only try to use 1 light at a time .

 

[Busaholic]

Blimey, though being a top chef i guess the waiter was disembowelled very neatly.

He was added to the menu as a late 'special' that very evening. Hannibal Lectus pan=fried in its own juices.

 

[birchesgreen]

To quote my late father "there's more lights on than the illuminations at Blackpool" and "were you born in a barn?" (leaving doors open) .
Today I'm very careful and only try to use 1 light at a time .

I say "Was you born in a barn?" quite often, though my foreign born wife remains bemused.

 

[Techniquest]

I say "Was you born in a barn?" quite often, though my foreign born wife remains bemused.

Possibly because of the use of the word was instead of were

 

[D821]

The day I said "It's like Blackpool bloody Illuminations in here" to my children was the day i realised I had turned into my dad.

 

[Legolash2o]

Similar type of thing is having the fridge door open for longer than required.

 

[GusB]

I'm not sure if this has been covered here, but I'd reserve a special place in a hot environment for TV presenters who constantly turn their heads to face the camera when they're driving; keep your eyes on the road, you numpty!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

I'm not sure if this has been covered here, but I'd reserve a special place in a hot environment for TV presenters who constantly turn their heads to face the camera when they're driving; keep your eyes on the road, you numpty!

Sure they're not just tootling around on the back of a low loader / trailer / camera tracking vehicle, and not actually driving?