Information phrases which grate

[duncanp]

While not on trains, I get highly frustrated on London buses with the recent spate of "The driver has been instructed to wait here, to even out the service"!!! When you've waited 15 minutes for a service that is advertised as every 8-10 minutes, how the hell can that be necessary? I've had it at a stop before the bus was due to catch the tail of a huge traffic jam that more than did the job and to the point that the next bus ends up only a few metres behind in the same traffic jam. The worst of all though is when I am not quite at the bus stop and see the bus coming, sprint like a maniac to catch it almost giving myself a heart attack, slump down on the first available seat on the bus gasping for breath and THEN it goes....."The driver has been instructed......"!!!

Or when the bus waits at a timing point which is one stop before the stop you want to get off at.

This happens to me when I am coming back from my local swimming pool.

The stop before the one I get off at is a timing point for the Birmingham Outer Circle, and it inevitably waits there for 5 minutes whilst the driver has a fag or checks his phone.

This always seems to happen after you have waited 15 minutes in the freezing cold for a service that is supposed to run twice as frequently. Even worse than that is when the bus behind catches up and overtakes the bus which is waiting at the timing point.

 

[Jimini]

While not on trains, I get highly frustrated on London buses with the recent spate of "The driver has been instructed to wait here, to even out the service"!!! When you've waited 15 minutes for a service that is advertised as every 8-10 minutes, how the hell can that be necessary? I've had it at a stop before the bus was due to catch the tail of a huge traffic jam that more than did the job and to the point that the next bus ends up only a few metres behind in the same traffic jam. The worst of all though is when I am not quite at the bus stop and see the bus coming, sprint like a maniac to catch it almost giving myself a heart attack, slump down on the first available seat on the bus gasping for breath and THEN it goes....."The driver has been instructed......"!!!

Aye, the 123 (Ilford to Wood Green) is infamous for that one, especially on the long schlep from Waterworks Corner down to Tottenham Hale! Always fun when you're angling for a specific train from the latter on the WA line.

 

[JetStream]

"the next station stop" is one that winds me up so much.

"take your personal belongings with you" - your belongings are just that. Yours.

 

[chorleyjeff]

"We are now on the approach to...."

Or "We are arriving into Preston" - suggests Preston is an airport.

 

[trainophile]

I was at Newcastle yesterday morning and they kept announcing that the 1045 TPE to Liverpool Lime Street was cancelled, and apologising for the inconvenience this will cause. However they did not suggest what people booked on it (including me) should do instead. Research the previous night had informed me of the cancellation so I had made other arrangements, but TPE had advised on their website that there was ticket acceptance with various other operators, which had it been announced might have helped otherwise stranded (or forced to wait an hour) passengers know what to do.

I appreciate that this would probably involve too much verbage for the station announcer, but if they just said "passengers booked on this train should make their way to the ticket office for further advice" it would be something, other than just being left hanging.

 

[317 forever]

An announcement I hear is always automatically incorrect. I refer to the announcement This is a platform alteration.

The platforms are not physically altering at all.

Furthermore, it is not even a platform alteration. It is merely a verbal announcement. An announcement of a forthcoming train now revised to depart from a different platform.

 

[Jim]

Auto announcer "The next stop is X, change here for Y and Z"
Train guard/whatever "Ladies and gents, as my automated friend just said, we are now arriving at X......" sigh

 

[PG]

I was at Newcastle yesterday morning and they kept announcing that the 1045 TPE to Liverpool Lime Street was cancelled, and apologising for the inconvenience this will cause. However they did not suggest what people booked on it (including me) should do instead.

As Newcastle station is managed by LNER would they also be responsible for the announcements? Maybe as it was a TPE service the announcer hadn't been informed of the ticket acceptance arrangements so couldn't say anything about that. I agree that it isn't ideal from a passenger perspective though...

Auto announcer "The next stop is X, change here for Y and Z"
Train guard/whatever "Ladies and gents, as my automated friend just said, we are now arriving at X......" sigh

If anything, given how frequently the auto announcer can be incorrect, I think passengers are reassured by a real person confirming it.

 

[py_megapixel]

An announcement I hear is always automatically incorrect. I refer to the announcement This is a platform alteration.

The platforms are not physically altering at all.

Furthermore, it is not even a platform alteration. It is merely a verbal announcement. An announcement of a forthcoming train now revised to depart from a different platform.

Well, they could change the phrasing to "This announcement pertains to an alteration to the planned allocation of platforms to services" but that wouldn't be much better...

 

[wobman]

Well, they could change the phrasing to "This announcement pertains to an alteration to the planned allocation of platforms to services" but that wouldn't be much better...

I know what you mean it seems that the poor conductors can't seem to win with their announcements.

 

[mrcheek]

Auto announcer "The next stop is X, change here for Y and Z"
Train guard/whatever "Ladies and gents, as my automated friend just said, we are now arriving at X......" sigh

This reminds me of another one thats currently annoying.
When GWR services from Paignton to Exmouth approach New ton Abbot, we get "This is Newton Abbot. Change here for services to Paignton"

 

[PG]

This reminds me of another one thats currently annoying.
When GWR services from Paignton to Exmouth approach New ton Abbot, we get "This is Newton Abbot. Change here for services to Paignton"

That one is plane daft!

 

[BJames]

This reminds me of another one thats currently annoying.
When GWR services from Paignton to Exmouth approach New ton Abbot, we get "This is Newton Abbot. Change here for services to Paignton"

Used to be the same on approach to Edmonton Green from Enfield Town on 315/317s - "Change for services to Enfield Town" - fine if you're coming off the Cheshunt branch but really frustrating that the system couldn't differentiate between a service coming from Enfield or from Cheshunt.

 

[Bikeman78]

Auto announcer "The next stop is X, change here for Y and Z"
Train guard/whatever "Ladies and gents, as my automated friend just said, we are now arriving at X......" sigh

Totally agree but I got shot down in flames on another thread for pointing this out. If a train has an automated system then the driver or guard only needs to get involved when it fails or when something out of the ordinary happens.

 

[MattRat]

"please mind the gap" bugs me, because there shouldn't be a gap in the first place!

 

[317 forever]

Another one is "This train is now approaching Orpington. If you're alighting at Orpington, please remember to take all your belongings with you".

This infers that for anyone getting off at a later station, taking all their belongings with them might not be so important.

 

[mrcheek]

Another one is "This train is now approaching Orpington. If you're alighting at Orpington, please remember to take all your belongings with you".

This infers that for anyone getting off at a later station, taking all their belongings with them might not be so important.

similarly, you will have announcements saying "if you are leaving us here, we hope that you had a pleasant journey". Not very polite to those leaving elsewhere!

 

[317 forever]

"please mind the gap" bugs me, because there shouldn't be a gap in the first place!

Also, I have noticed on a Bakerloo Line platform at Waterloo for example the announcer says Mind then a short pause then the gap. Listeners therefore need to mind the gap between Mind and the gap.

similarly, you will have announcements saying "if you are leaving us here, we hope that you had a pleasant journey". Not very polite to those leaving elsewhere!

Yes, that is a similar example.

 

[SCDR_WMR]

Totally agree but I got shot down in flames on another thread for pointing this out. If a train has an automated system then the driver or guard only needs to get involved when it fails or when something out of the ordinary happens.

Except that mystery travellers look out for exactly this - conductors are marked down for not anouncing approaching stations, stations with significant gaps, stations with regularly used connections and currently, mask wearing announcements.

It might bother you, but while staff are actively managed on them, they will continue in their current form

Another one is "This train is now approaching Orpington. If you're alighting at Orpington, please remember to take all your belongings with you".

This infers that for anyone getting off at a later station, taking all their belongings with them might not be so important.

That's why most conductors announce this at all stations

 

[Sprinter107]

It seems crazy to me that conductors are repeating the automatic announcements. There are far too many announcements both on trains and stations. With some conductors and some stations its a constant stream of announcement. People eventually switch off, and then if there needs to be an announcement made thats important, people don't listen. Its about time these announcements were revised, to provide passengers with important facts, and made as concise and short as possible.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Also, I have noticed on a Bakerloo Line platform at Waterloo for example the announcer says Mind then a short pause then the gap. Listeners therefore need to mind the gap between Mind and the gap.

Where's the below YouTube clip been taken?

Presumably Embankment and so it's probably using the old Oswald Laurence recording?

 

[SCDR_WMR]

It seems crazy to me that conductors are repeating the automatic announcements. There are far too many announcements both on trains and stations. With some conductors and some stations its a constant stream of announcement. People eventually switch off, and then if there needs to be an announcement made thats important, people don't listen. Its about time these announcements were revised, to provide passengers with important facts, and made as concise and short as possible.

Oh 100% agree, but the need to have both comes from the DfT.
For instance, currently the CRE-EUS LNW service has the following mandatory announcements;
-Departure from CRE
-Rugeley TV UDS
-Lichfield TV Gap (Down only)
-Tamworth Gap (Down only)
-Atherstone UDS
-Nuneaton East of England connection
-Rugby Birmingham connection (Down only)
-EUS Arrival

That's not including stopper services. So as you can see that doesn't leave many stations where you can cut out announcements.

 

[Bikeman78]

Except that mystery travellers look out for exactly this - conductors are marked down for not anouncing approaching stations, stations with significant gaps, stations with regularly used connections and currently, mask wearing announcements.

It might bother you, but while staff are actively managed on them, they will continue in their current form

So WTF is the point in the automatic systems? Also drivers on DOO trains rarely make extra announcements so why should guards/conductors have to do it? As I said in another thread, even my five year old son thinks the constant barrage of announcements is over the top.

 

[py_megapixel]

Oh 100% agree, but the need to have both comes from the DfT.
For instance, currently the CRE-EUS LNW service has the following mandatory announcements;
-Departure from CRE
-Rugeley TV UDS
-Lichfield TV Gap (Down only)
-Tamworth Gap (Down only)
-Atherstone UDS
-Nuneaton East of England connection
-Rugby Birmingham connection (Down only)
-EUS Arrival

But all of that is (or could be configured to be) handled by the automated system. Conductors should surely not repeat the same things.

 

[Bikeman78]

Oh 100% agree, but the need to have both comes from the DfT.
For instance, currently the CRE-EUS LNW service has the following mandatory announcements;
-Departure from CRE
-Rugeley TV UDS
-Lichfield TV Gap (Down only)
-Tamworth Gap (Down only)
-Atherstone UDS
-Nuneaton East of England connection
-Rugby Birmingham connection (Down only)
-EUS Arrival

That's not including stopper services. So as you can see that doesn't leave many stations where you can cut out announcements.

I guess most people in the DfT don't use trains but use their posh quiet cars instead. In all seriousness, why not include the above in the automatic announcements or scrap them and have the crew make all the announcements?

 

[BJames]

Where's the below YouTube clip been taken?

Presumably Embankment and so it's probably using the old Oswald Laurence recording?

This is indeed at Embankment and I thought the only underground station that still had Laurence's recording following a campaign by his widow to have it reinstated.

 

[SCDR_WMR]

I guess most people in the DfT don't use trains but use their posh quiet cars instead. In all seriousness, why not include the above in the automatic announcements or scrap them and have the crew make all the announcements?

That's the thing, other than the UDS whis is automatic once selected, these are all auto announcements.

But all of that is (or could be configured to be) handled by the automated system. Conductors should surely not repeat the same things.

As I said, it's the DfT that force these to be duplicated. Nobody thinks that the should, despite surveys saying human announcements are listened to more than Auto

 

[Bikeman78]

That's the thing, other than the UDS whis is automatic once selected, these are all auto announcements.

I'm afraid you've lost me with UDS. Aside from the DfT, who is in favour of all this? The majority of passengers seem to be engrossed in looking at their mobile or have earphones so they can't hear. It's surprising how many people get caught out at the short platforms on the circle line, for example, despite them being clearly announced.

 

[py_megapixel]

I'm afraid you've lost me with UDS.

Unit Deselection (I think). The system in Desiros that allows the opening of doors on only some units in a multi-unit formation.

 

[adrock1976]

Although not really a grating announcement and more for the London Underground section, is it just me that thinks that on the Victoria Line stock, when the recorded announcement says "... Doors will open on the left hand side", that I have some of the lyrics of Musical Youth's "Pass the Dutchie" immediately come into my mind?

Has anyone else thought the same thing when travelling on the Vic Line?