Latest diet ....

[Donny Dave]

I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid woman..........why else would I buy dog food??

 

[tony_mac]

Stupid woman..........why else would I buy dog food??

Maybe she asked because it's a way of starting a conversation?

I'm not sure that belittling people for trying to be friendly is a thing to be quite so proud of.
(But, yes, it was funny).

 

[GB]

I've read your post three times now and each pass has made me chuckle

Very good

 

[Michael.Y]

Me: I've got a dog that plays poker.
Bob: Really? He must be very clever.
Me: Not really. Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.


Sue: What kind of dog do you have?
Mary: He's a little Shih Tzu.
Sue: I've no doubt he misbehaves, but what breed is he?


I once got a dog for my wife. Seemed like a fair swap.


Me: My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?
Vet: Well let's have a look at him.
(Paws)
Vet: I'm going to have to put him down.
Me: What? Because he's cross-eyed?
Vet: No, because he weighs a ton!

 

[Nym]

Me: I've got a dog that plays poker.
Bob: Really? He must be very clever.
Me: Not really. Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.

Sorry... Had to be done!

 

[sprinterguy]

Stupid woman..........why else would I buy dog food??

Hedgehogs, ferrets and foxes are all partial to dry dog food as well.

I love the story though

Dog biscuits/food nuggets don't taste too bad actually, and as they advertise on the bags, they give your hair a lovely glossy sheen.