I think that is rather poor advice, as revenue staff will, quite rightly, take a dim view of rail staff reacting in that way. Such an action could lead to confiscation of the travel document and potential disciplinary action. Most of the disciplinary cases involving travel irregularities that I have come across have resulted from the attitude of the staff at least as much as the detail of the offence.
I think it too is poor advice. I also agree that the outcome of irregularities (whether reported or not) does depend very much on the attitude taken at the time.
I find that the attitude of many staff - and especially their dependants and spouses - absolutely stinks, to be honest. Free or reduced rate travel is, in many cases, a privilege, not a right, and should be treated accordingly and used correctly. I am constantly upsetting staff, dependants and spouses for dealing with them in full accordance with the rules when they just plonk themselves on my train, without asking first, and
expect and assume they will automatically get something (normally a free ride without buying a ticket or dating a box) they are not entitled to. Whilst this is not exactly the same as the situation the OP has - it isn't too far removed. I use my facilities in accordance with the rules and expect others to do the same. I always extend courtesy to
active staff (only) if they ask first, but when they - or anyone else - does not, that really riles me.
You are probably correct about that, however, I wasn't wearing a uniform of any TOC at all - I was wearing a uniform from a different industry altogether. Like I said, I could be wearing a clown outfit and be on a PRIV - the RPI's job is to investigate and apply the rules. If my journey is legal, it's legal - whatever I'm wearing.
My advice to the OP is to go and see your daughter before work (or after work) and tell revenue to poke it when they ask - they have no real way of determining if you are travelling legitimately or not, and as such, the rule is silly.
I find this latter point also somewhat incorrect. You are correct, at the time of travel they may not have any real way of determining the exact reason for your journey. However, it is not always the case that the rule is ignored.
I can think of a case around 6 or 7 years ago where a spouse of a staff member, who was only entitled to reduced rate leisure travel, was regularly on the same or similar timed train going in one direction, and always the same or similar timed trains on the way back. Always in work attire. And always using Priv rate tickets. After some time this became suspicious, and the person was stopped and interviewed under caution by an RPO. They denied they were using the Priv tickets for work purposes, but made an excuse that they were always doing something that wasn't related to residential travel. When the trend continued covert observations were set up using plain clothes RPOs. It was eventually determined that the passenger was telling porkies, and under a further interview they were found to be using Priv travel tickets for residential purposes, and were dealt with accordingly.
My belief is that the facilities afforded to you should be used in the way they were intended.