Strangest thing you've heard/seen on the rail network...

[timbo58]

Had 2 clowns tell me they weren't going to pay and were only going to Stroud anyway on a 180 once.
They then asked what time we got there as we pulled into Stonehouse, 'OH -we're there now' I said - and off they leaped! How sad, what a pleasure it was to have power operated doors and be 3 minutes down.

beep beep.................. last train of the evening too, what fun!

 

[swj99]

Brading Station, IOW about 5 years ago. Bloke stood on the live rail.

He came up to us and asked we thought he'd get killed if he did it. I said yes, he'd probably melt. But he jumped on with both feet, stood there for a few seconds, then jumped off again. Then he said he was off to the other end of station because he didn't like people to see him drinking.

 

[steamybrian]

Several years ago when working as a booking clerk on a quiet day at a heritage railway station-
... With the Station Master I watched the 1330hrs train depart on time and steam away out of sight in the distance. I returned to the ticket office and was just enjoying a freshly made cup of tea when there was a knock on the ticket office window.
At the window was a mature lady who said " Can you tell me where the 1330 train is please?".
I said "It departed on time 10 minutes ago".
She replied "Oh- Oh.. I wish to make a public complaint to your managers... I wish to complain that the train left on time...!"

 

[NLC1072]

On that particular train they wanted to join the bloody long mile club!

I do believe it's referred to as the metre high club!

 

[Abpj17]

One annoying one this evening - someone had their bike in the aisle rather than near the doors - she sat in one seat, the bike blocked the next two aisle seats

And this morning, two guys forcing the train doors open (while still moving and not due to call) getting off, jumping over the fence and running through the car park into the woods at radlett station. The strangest thing was how non-plussed the driver was as he told us over the intercom why we had stopped

 

[pne]

I do believe it's referred to as the metre high club!

On a German rail newsgroup, I've seen it referred to as "Club 1435" (after the track gauge).

 

[Springs Branch]

On a train to Liverpool, the 4-seat table bay next to me was occupied by what some might uncharitably describe as a welfare mother and her two primary school-age sons.

The boys passed the journey making nuisances of themselves, jumping about in their seats, boisterous fighting and spilling crisps & drink over the table and floor. Their mother studiously ignored them, spending the time focused on her mobile phone and an apparent texting marathon.

Except when, after a station stop and the conductor's announcement that "this is the train to Liverpool Lime Street, stopping at ....", one of the kids would pipe up "Mam, Mam! We're not goin' t' Lipoo! We're not goin' t' Lipoo!" Eventually she would lift her eyes from her phone, mutter "No luv, we're not", then back to texting.

Next station, similar announcement, same thing - "Mam, Mam! we're not goin' t' Lipoo, we're not goin' t' Lipoo!" "That's right luv". And so on all the way to Liverpool.

Unfortunately I got up & made my way to the doors as we came in through Lime Street tunnel, so I never found out who was right & who was wrong, and what happened when they did get to Liverpool.