At one place I worked, the manager was always coming in late, giving implausible excuses. Once he made us all laugh when he said that the train was delayed because a badger had bitten through signal cables at Shoeburyness. Nobody believed him -- but it was true, it really happened.
One of Reginald Perrin's excuses
Eleven minutes late, staff difficulties at Hampton Wick.
Eleven minutes late, signal failure at Vauxhall.
Eleven minutes late, staff shortages, Nine Elms.
Eleven minutes late, seasonal manpower shortages, Clapham Junction.
Eleven minutes late, derailment of container truck, Raynes Park.
Eleven minutes late, defective junction box, New Malden.
Eleven minutes late, overheated axle at Berrylands.
Eleven minutes late, defective axle at Wandsworth.
Eleven minutes late, somebody had stolen the lines at Surbiton.
Seventeen minutes late, defective bogey at Earlsfield.
Seventeen minutes late, water seeping through the cables at Effingham Junction - there was a lot of Effingham and a good deal of Blindingham!
Twenty two minutes late, black ice at Norbiton.
Twenty two minutes late, obstacles on the line at Berrylands.
Twenty two minutes late, Badger ate a junction box at New Malden
Twenty two minutes late, fed up by train delays, came by bike. Slow puncture at Peckham.
Twenty two minutes late, escaped puma, Chessington North.
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