Railway mile high club

[LE Greys]

Well, the Sea Wall is quite salty..........

Best to try when the tide's not in though.

Or you could just hold your breath . . .

 

[4SRKT]

We used to get all sorts of ludicrous euphemisms when I worked in sea freight.

"Did she sign your P.O.D.?"
"What time did she come alongside?"
"I hope you didn't sail with the bow door open"
"There were tidal problems in the Red Sea"

to name but a few.

 

[SS4]

she got up a head of steam then puffed efficiently away

 

[4SRKT]

And in road freight, "I hope you sheeted your load" etc etc.

One driver used to collect a consignment of footballs from a factory in Ballina in Co Mayo, and every single time he came into the shipping office to hand in the paperwork he would announce "another load of balls".

 

[O L Leigh]

And for everyone else, please stop muscling in on my attempts here I'm poor at building relationships as it is...

Don't be so paranoid. You're in danger of sounding desperate, and that's not an attractive trait.

Take a tip from an old 'un. If she really wants you, she'll come to you. In the meantime, just relax and be yourself. I know it's a cliche but it happens to be true. Women are generally not in a hurry to pair off and can quickly tell when a guy is just trying to impress them. In my experience you'll do a lot better by treating a woman like a human being rather than as a conquest, and by showing a genuine interest in her and taking the time to become friends. There's nothing worse than appearing to be desperate for a shag or just seeing a woman simply as a means to an end.

And stop worrying. As much as KF is intrigued by the idea of an older and more experienced gent (preferrably with more disposable income), I've got my hands full as it is.

O L Leigh

 

[Kernowfem]

Don't be so paranoid. You're in danger of sounding desperate, and that's not an attractive trait.

Take a tip from an old 'un. If she really wants you, she'll come to you. In the meantime, just relax and be yourself. I know it's a cliche but it happens to be true. Women are generally not in a hurry to pair off and can quickly tell when a guy is just trying to impress them. In my experience you'll do a lot better by treating a woman like a human being rather than as a conquest, and by showing a genuine interest in her and taking the time to become friends. There's nothing worse than appearing to be desperate for a shag or just seeing a woman simply as a means to an end.

And stop worrying. As much as KF is intrigued by the idea of an older and more experienced gent (preferrably with more disposable income), I've got my hands full as it is.

O L Leigh

My income suffices me plenty OL, i'm not the material type!

Anyway back on topic (sort of) has anyone heard of the condition paraphilia??
While doing my masters we were asked to delve into some very unusual medical conditions.

My colleague chose 'Paraphilia' A condition which describes a persons sexual attraction for objects as apposed to people. Im not 100% sure of the statistics but apparently it can effect one in every 500.000 people.

A case in America documented a gentlemans story, who was extremely attracted to locos. He was actually arrested four times for having relations with a certain loco at one particular depo.

Staff became used to seeing him hanging around, only to find him an hour or two later (after scaling several fences) in an inapropriate clinch with said loco.

So, not only can you make love on a train.....someone actually made love to a train!

 

[O L Leigh]

Yes, I've heard about paraphilia too.

I heard a story about a guy who really loved his car, by which I mean he really loved it. Anyway, he'd gone around to a friend's house and developed a bit of a thing for his car too. So while he thought no-one was looking he started to indulge, but his friend caught him at it.

O L Leigh

 

[Yew]

My income suffices me plenty OL, i'm not the material type!

Anyway back on topic (sort of) has anyone heard of the condition paraphilia??
While doing my masters we were asked to delve into some very unusual medical conditions.

My colleague chose 'Paraphilia' A condition which describes a persons sexual attraction for objects as apposed to people. Im not 100% sure of the statistics but apparently it can effect one in every 500.000 people.

A case in America documented a gentlemans story, who was extremely attracted to locos. He was actually arrested four times for having relations with a certain loco at one particular depo.

Staff became used to seeing him hanging around, only to find him an hour or two later (after scaling several fences) in an inapropriate clinch with said loco.

So, not only can you make love on a train.....someone actually made love to a train!

There was a woman who married the berlin wall...... then cheated on him with a fence!

 

[Techniquest]

I was thinking about this thread yesterday when my train of thought produced this:

"Yes! It fits! Epic bonus!"

I'll leave you to wonder what was going on at the time.

On the bus last night, I also thought of this thread when I was bored and thinking of railtour names. I started off thinking of "The Fifty Fantastic", then moved onto "The Fantastic Four", before grinning slightly when I thought of "The Fantastic Four-some"

And FWIW, I'd agree 100% with O L Leigh. As for that paraphilia thing, that sounds mighty odd!

 

[Oswyntail]

.. As for that paraphilia thing, that sounds mighty odd!

It is, VERY odd. But it is genuine, and very distressing for sufferers and their families. Can we keep this thread on track with smut and regular innuendo, please.

 

[junglejames]

I hope you are refering to bishop bashers rather than wife beaters here......

Thinking about it, it would have been great had there been a class of loco nicknamed 'bishops' back in the day. I'm about 25 years too late, but I should have tried to get 'bishop' going as an alternative to 'spoon' or 'duff'. After all, we all know what class 47 bashers are...........

Eh, whats a particularly strange comment.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

It is, VERY odd. But it is genuine, and very distressing for sufferers and their families. Can we keep this thread on track with smut and regular innuendo, please.

Perhaps its the warmth and the vibrations given off by the engine!!!!!!
Anyway yes, lets move on.

Which reminds me, I reckon coach A on the Humber Explorer was the place to be yesterday. The class 60 preservation group (who had hijacked that coach), seemed to be actively advertising some strange goings on in there.
'Keep on Tugging' was emblazoned across the back of their t-shirts!! God knows what that coach was like at the end of the tour....

 

[Ivo]

Me back

I appreciate the kind words O L Leigh. Whilst it would be true to say that I have heard this advice before, this is the first instance of it being from neither of (a) someone I know very well, and/or (b) someone who is miserable himself.

So now this very wayward thread has come to the subject of paraphilia? Oh dear... If I'm honest, in the modern era you are probably less likely to find an adult who has not heard of paraphilia. Even when I was little, my mother sent off for a FunFax (remember those?) collection via Weetabix, and one of the four books received actually revealed that a man in Australia married his motorcycle, and named it Mildred! Being about 6 at the time (and this being in the mid-90s, so just before he modern culture of children being untouchable and far-from-innocent really started), I just thought it was funny...!

 

[mickey]

'Keep on Tugging' was emblazoned across the back of their t-shirts!! God knows what that coach was like at the end of the tour....

I've never met a geologist who wasn't proud of his/her 'Geologists do it on rocks' T-shirt. So what would yours say?

 

[LE Greys]

I've never met a geologist who wasn't proud of his/her 'Geologists do it on rocks' T-shirt. So what would yours say?

"Writers do it literally every day"

 

[Techniquest]

My immediate thought for my work t-shirt's slogan was "We fill her up every day". However, I'm sure that I'll be able to come up with something better than that soon enough. There's got to be a good 'un for stock replen...

 

[Track Basher]

Met Ivo for the first time today seemed like a very nice chap. He did say however he did not want to go too far on our first encounter and didn't want go all the way (to Shrewsbury) and got off early at Abergavenny.

 

[ChrisCooper]

So you didn't go all the way, but still managed to get off! Oh well, it's a start.

 

[Track Basher]

I went for two hours then got off and he only went 40 minutes. 4SRKT is still at it.
We just did not have the stamina.



I know where you minds are going 57/3 bashing before you get any ideas.

 

[Geezertronic]

I know where you minds are going 57/3 bashing before you get any ideas.

Are you guys back to talking about Paraphilia again?

 

[Hydro]

It's all about the retractable Dellner.

 

[Track Basher]

It was in the retracted position. The don't go into extended mode much these days generally only a couple of times on a Saturday afternoon and on special occasions on a Sunday.

Doesn't happen when hauling Mk2/3 stock.

 

[O L Leigh]

I know where you minds are going 57/3 bashing before you get any ideas.

That's not much of a clarification.

There was a driver at my depot who was called Basher, and it wasn't because he was a rail enthusiast.

O L Leigh

 

[Ivo]

D'oh...!

I would have gone "all the way to Shrewsbury" if I had had the funds to allow it! The jump between Abergavenny and Shrewsbury is almost £15!

'Twas more than a bit of a history lesson; I have to say. Although... when 4SRKT said about maybe meeting north of the M62 next time, you had to mention Sheffield which is of course south of said motorway

 

[LE Greys]

What's happened to the fair Kernowfem? This thread's no fun without some female input.

 

[junglejames]

What's happened to the fair Kernowfem? This thread's no fun without some female input.

Probably fed up of getting hit upon everytime she shows her face!
I expect she has found better things to be occupying her time with. Like working and sleeping!

 

[Kernowfem]

Probably fed up of getting hit upon everytime she shows her face!
I expect she has found better things to be occupying her time with. Like working and sleeping!

Still here, just like James said, working, sleeping oh and fighting off the little chav sod who tried to nick my defender off the drive in the early hours of yesterday morning......

Brings a whole new meaning to "bashing".......

 

[Geezertronic]

I believe that baseball bats were made to knock the baseball caps off the chavs heads, although one has to wonder why on earth they were going for a Defender and not a Nova, Saxo or other typical chavmobile

 

[Kernowfem]

I believe that baseball bats were made to knock the baseball caps off the chavs heads, although one has to wonder why on earth they were going for a Defender and not a Nova, Saxo or other typical chavmobile

Lol geezertronic, it was more me in my pajamas with a freezing cold hose pipe and a bit of three by two. However did the trick. He was soaked and freezing by the time i'd finished.....he legged it!

Although i got a serious talking to from th epolice for confronting him. Defenders are currently in the top five of nickable vehicles....however i'd like to see anyone try and start it with a well hidden kill switch, turns off your fuel pump so no amount of turning it over will start it!! one of the best security defices you can have as far as im concerned!!!

 

[Geezertronic]

This is the ultimate "kill switch"

http://carsecurityalarm.net/south-african-car-flamethrower/

 

[Kernowfem]

This is the ultimate "kill switch"

http://carsecurityalarm.net/south-african-car-flamethrower/

Highly illegal though...