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Harbon 1
Member
Even though it says 'to open door, lower window and push handle down', if you just stand there it should open on its own
Temple Meads
Established Member
Or just stand a door where people will want to get on, look confused with how it opens, and someone on the platform will usually open the door for you.
Harbon 1
Member
That happened as I got off the HST just 10 minutes ago
Sometimes I feel like asking the guard, "D'you need a hand with the doors?"
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Even though there is a red cross on the ticket gate, if you jab your ticket in enough times, it will let you through, currently trying to stop myself shouting at the people doing it at Edinburgh!
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Northern/Siemens - Please, keep the current arrangement which sees the toilet on a 333 locked out of use 99% of the time (rising to 99.9% on any trains where one or more passengers has consumed an alcoholic beverage within the hour prior to travelling).
Please also ensure that all 333s that are likely to fail due to inherent uselessness (Bonus tip - this is all of them) have the toilet locked out first.
Please also ensure that all 333s that are likely to fail due to inherent uselessness (Bonus tip - this is all of them) have the toilet locked out first.
Ivo
Established Member
Alternatively, where powered doors are provided, they will always open on their own. The nearby buttons labelled "OPEN" are unrelated.
YorkshireBear
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Always try to get on a train as people are getting off. Infact pushing people into the train to make them miss their stop is seen as a great acheivement and should be done at every oppurtunity. This tip also counts for trams and buses....
4SKRT this is genius
4SKRT this is genius
Rail users in the North West: You can always count on Northern's G4S ticketing staff to be extremely knowledgeable and accurate about all kinds of tickets. You can also expect them to conduct thoroughly rigorous inspections, that provide an impenetrable barrier for any would-be fare evader.
PaxVobiscum
Established Member
And remember, the Red Cross shows that it is a magic barrier which will heal your ticket that has failed to work in any other barrier (probably because it's an old one that was in your pocket).
Always try to get on a train as people are getting off. Infact pushing people into the train to make them miss their stop is seen as a great acheivement and should be done at every oppurtunity. This tip also counts for trams and buses....
4SKRT this is genius
I was going to do something about this myself! Having actually shouted at some old bloke in a suit at New St on Tuesday who was trying to board the late running 16:03 to Glasgow, without realising that it wasn't going anywhere until the disembarking passengers had gone. He was nearly knocked off his balance by the surge of people he was in the way of, the soppy old goat.
Post #100
Ivo
Established Member
When a ticket says "Rte ANY PERMITTED", it may legitimately be used to travel between the two stations printed on the ticket in any manner you please, regardless of the distance between the two stations in question and the intended route.
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Temple Meads
Established Member
Guys: if you want a pretty girl to talk to you, just prowl the carriages until you have to move out of the way to let said pretty girl past, hopefully she will smile at you, and say "thank you", you might even start a conversation that leads into the swapping of phone numbers, and before you know it, your getting married :P
ralphchadkirk
Established Member
Commuters, why not get the atmosphere of commuting whilst at home? Simply advertise for a few sweaty businessmen to crowd themselves into your living room, and block your view with their copy of the Financial Times. The committed commuters could even give all their life savings to charity just to simulate that feeling of buying a season ticket.
One from the archives here:
Lancashire & Yorkshire and Midland Railway Companies: your ongoing rivalry and failure to provide a single central station will be very good for the long term prosperity of the city of Bradford. After all, all the best cities have more than one station (London, Paris, need I go on?).
Just one thing to remember. I am a clairvoyant and predict that your current rivalry will become irrelevant by about 1923 or so.
Lancashire & Yorkshire and Midland Railway Companies: your ongoing rivalry and failure to provide a single central station will be very good for the long term prosperity of the city of Bradford. After all, all the best cities have more than one station (London, Paris, need I go on?).
Just one thing to remember. I am a clairvoyant and predict that your current rivalry will become irrelevant by about 1923 or so.
PaxVobiscum
Established Member
The quickest way get home from my own house is to take the first train from the "nearest station" to "my home station" on the UK Train Times iPhone app.
Even though it takes 1 hour and 22 minutes. Fortunately it only costs £1.85 (unless I want to get back home again and need a return).
Even though it takes 1 hour and 22 minutes. Fortunately it only costs £1.85 (unless I want to get back home again and need a return).
tbtc
Veteran Member
LONDONERS - the fastest way back to the capital from Leeds is the Morcambe bound Pacer which gets to Claphem in about seventy minutes (much faster than the Kings Cross bound service)
I've not checked the connections from Clapham, but there's bound to be a junction nearby...
I've not checked the connections from Clapham, but there's bound to be a junction nearby...
With my Midland Railway head on from post #104 it is in fact a junction. Clapham Junction no less.
CC 72100
Established Member
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Struggling to find a seat on a busy train? Simply rock up in a rather garish shirt, with a certain 19th century guide book, and start talking to the lady opposite you. Bringing along a TV camera or two helps as well, but you'll get a seat in no time 
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Also: Want a trampoline but no space for one? Just get a pacer over a bit of jointed track for that authentic experience. Their liability to leak makes it feel like being in your (non-existant) garden in the rain .
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Also: Want a trampoline but no space for one? Just get a pacer over a bit of jointed track for that authentic experience. Their liability to leak makes it feel like being in your (non-existant) garden in the rain .
Harbon 1
Member
Want to travel First Class but don't have the ticket? Tell the guard you thought it was a nice train, and all of it had reclining 2+1 seats
tbtc
Veteran Member
CARDIFF BAY PASSENGERS - check with the Guard before boarding to ensure that you aren't boarding the wrong train
WelshBluebird
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Not sure if this one has been said, but I will say it anyway.
The fastest way to get anywhere in central London is by tube, no matter if the place you want to go is a very short walk away. It is even worth hanging about in times of disruption as you will still get there faster.
The fastest way to get anywhere in central London is by tube, no matter if the place you want to go is a very short walk away. It is even worth hanging about in times of disruption as you will still get there faster.
CC 72100
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And don't forget not to miss your train - much better idea try and block the doors to let your mate on when you have to wait so long for the next one.
table38
Established Member
You can use either the right hand or left hand oyster reader to open the gate
(As encountered behind a tourist at Liverpool Street the other day)
(As encountered behind a tourist at Liverpool Street the other day
)
Harbon 1
Member
Struggling to find a seat on a busy train? Simply rock up in a rather garish shirt, with a certain 19th century guide book, and start talking to the lady opposite you. Bringing along a TV camera or two helps as well, but you'll get a seat in no time
Also, don't forget lots of overhead and outside shots of as many different classes of unit as is humanly possible ;D
CC 72100
Established Member
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- 23 Jan 2012
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Whilst being none of the type of train you're travelling on!
Sebastian Coe: your hobby is very important to you, so why not persuade lots of other people to pay for a gigantic 'athletics gala' so that you and others like you can have a really fun time without worrying about the cost?
Olympians: never mind about the opportunity to win medals and glory for Britain, the true purpose of the Olympics is the opportunity to advertise deodorant, razors and unhealthy sandwiches and win ££££ for yourselves.
Olympians: never mind about the opportunity to win medals and glory for Britain, the true purpose of the Olympics is the opportunity to advertise deodorant, razors and unhealthy sandwiches and win ££££ for yourselves.
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Chester025
Member
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- 29 Jun 2008
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- 1,047
Dirty degenerate skip bashers remember that not being able to stick your head out of the window ruins the whole experience of travelling in the comfort of a MK3 on the Chilterns. Try staying at home and sticking your head out of the bathroom window whilst listening to sound recordings of trains, the neighbours will think nothing of it.
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