Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[The Albion]

I've got some supermarket niggles...
The following should all be illegal...

1. People who can't be bothered to take their trolley back to the trolley stand.
2. People who eat things before paying for them.
3. People who let their children sit in trolleys.

Children in supermarkets ( full stop ) on Saturday mornings.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Unfortunately, not comedic and hardly a "minor" thing.

But yes, would be good to get rid of, a.s.a.p.

Or renamed to "Covid History & Nostalgia"...

 

[adrock1976]

I have thought of some little comedic things I would ban myself -

People who walk around a town centre eating a pie/pastie out of a paper bag, while pushing their child in a chair who is also eating a pie/pastie out of a paper bag (those of you who live in places like Wigan & St Helens will appreciate what I'm on about!).

SNIP

CJ

Also seeing young babies with a dummy in their mouth.

My mum never used a dummy at all with me and my three elder brothers, and my brother also never used a dummy with his son and daughter at all (born 1998 and 2001 respectively).

The use of a dummy of my mum's generation was perceived as lazy parenting, as the parent would not be giving its attention at all, plus with something in its mouth, you would not be able to make out what they are saying.

 

[The Albion]

Men wearing Alice Bands. Yes you Jack Grealish.

 

[SteveM70]

People over the age of 12 wearing replica football shirts, other than for exercise / playing sport

 

[gg1]

The supporting of a football team based in a town/ city where you have neither lived or have a family connection to is forbidden. Special dispensation will be given to those people bought up in towns with no football team at all, they can choose which team to support with the caveat it must be a team at league 1 level or lower who have not won a trophy for at least 50 years.

 

[Gloster]

Wearing army surplus camouflage gear around town every time this country gets involved in a military intervention to try and make people think you are a hero just back from the battlefield. Those people who did this at the time of the Gulf War know what I mean: your only military use would have been to hide a tank behind your beer belly.

 

[SteveM70]

Geese

 

[507021]

People over the age of 12 wearing replica football shirts, other than for exercise / playing sport

What is wrong with me, at 28 years old, wearing a replica football shirt to show support for my team?

 

[Westcountryman]

Any ad which uses the expression 'two times' rather than 'twice'. Anyone able to shed any light on why?

 

[The Albion]

Any ad which uses the expression 'two times' rather than 'twice'. Anyone able to shed any light on why?

Agree. And any sentence,written or spoken, substituting 'got' with 'gotten '.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Any ad which uses the expression 'two times' rather than 'twice'. Anyone able to shed any light on why?

Possibly because to some, the words "twice" (and even more so, "thrice") might now seem slightly archaic.

 

[birchesgreen]

Moaning old gits

Though that would probably kill this forum

 

[nlogax]

Moaning old gits

Though that would probably kill this forum

It might

Ban electricity! New fangled rubbish.

 

[madjack]

Any ad which uses the expression 'two times' rather than 'twice'. Anyone able to shed any light on why?

Easier to understand for non-native English speakers. A number of features of English are slowly changing as the language becomes more international and some errors are becoming more acceptable.

 

[318266]

My controversial self can't wait for this...

Alcohol at football stadiums
the European Union
small countries that serve no point (Liechtenstein, Andorra, San Marino, Vatican City to name some)
People that just follow what their obviously crazy partner says (i.e. my grandfather, my neighbour etc. etc.)
Bikes on the road right next to the official bike path (either on the roadside barriered off or on the pavement - however only where a cycle route runs through it!)
Road signs that are hidden behind trees at odd angles
Futons
Trains without toilets
the Class 196's destination board. Very odd
Commemorative coins

 

[krus_aragon]

Moaning old gits

Though that would probably kill this forum

This thread at the very least!

 

[daveo]

When I am supreme leader, the following will be banned:

Ties - uncomfortable, get in the way and serve no useful function whatsoever

Very useful to -
use in an emergency if your belt breaks.
To keep the ketchup etc from you fast food burger off your shirt.

Otherwise I would agree with you

 

[gg1]

Alcohol at football stadiums

....and on public transport.

 

[Class465pacer]

The supporting of a football team based in a town/ city where you have neither lived or have a family connection to is forbidden. Special dispensation will be given to those people bought up in towns with no football team at all, they can choose which team to support with the caveat it must be a team at league 1 level or lower who have not won a trophy for at least 50 years.

Football must be one of the only things in the world where this sort of gatekeeping is accepted. People cannot choose where they are born and shouldn’t be forced to support a club they don’t want to.

 

[gg1]

Football must be one of the only things in the world where this sort of gatekeeping is accepted. People cannot choose where they are born and shouldn’t be forced to support a club they don’t want to.

I refer you to the thread title, you seem to be taking my post a little too seriously.

 

[Class465pacer]

I refer to the thread title, you seem to be taking my post a little too seriously.

Fair enough, but I just wanted to put that out there

 

[Westcountryman]

People who say 'marshmellows' rather than 'marshmallows.

 

[alex397]

Anyone found littering should be deported to Siberia for 10 years.

 

[Bishopstone]

People who think turnover and profit are the same thing.

 

[yorksrob]

People who think turnover and profit are the same thing.

Absolutely.

One is the amount of money a company is left with after costs.

The other is a nice creamy, apply thing.

 

[hexagon789]

Unfortunately, not comedic and hardly a "minor" thing.

But yes, would be good to get rid of, a.s.a.p.

Yes comedic, the inane drivel in those threads cannot be described as anything but 'comedic'...

 

[52290]

People who say 'marshmellows' rather than 'marshmallows.

People who say barth instead of bath.

 

[gg1]

People who say barth instead of bath.

Also people who think scone rhymes with gone

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Alcohol at football stadiums

As a counter to this, the arbitrary and counterproductive rule that if I have a beer at the football I have to queue, pay, and drink the beer in the concourse within 15 minutes before returning to my seat for the second half. If I'm at a Rugby League game in the same stadium (where fans of opposing teams aren't even segregated) I can take my beer to my seat and take my time over it. Do they (the rule-makers) not realise that making people drink more quickly is more likely to increase problem drunkenness?

Oh, and if anyone says "that's because rugby fans know how to behave" then I can only assume they've never encountered Warrington, Salford or Hull FC supporters!