You should have seen mine shortly after the news started reporting that Bradford might be next to have a Leicester lock-down. Straight away the fanatics were at it blaming all and sundry, including rather strangely people who had been to Bournemouth beaches, even though its a fair old trek from Bradford to Dorset! Imagine the disappointment when the Yorkshire & Humber section of Public Health England tweeted that Bradford was not on the verge of a lockdown, and although figures per 100,000 were high they were also dropping quite quickly and that we Bradfordians should just take a little extra care to help keep those numbers in decline.
As for social distancing "enforcement", a little memory from many years ago came to mind. I lived in the fine city of Wakefield for a little over a year and half, and used to often order pizza from a little take out not far from where I lived. The pizzas where fantastic, but the show stopper were their garlic mushrooms. Nothing fancy, just about 40 button mushrooms swimming in a sea of garlic butter. Bliss! (As you might guess I am a bit fond of garlic!). Anyway on my commute to Bradford after a particularly strong batch of them the night before, I became aware that sitting on the class 308 (I think) out of Westgate I was being given quite a bit of space. Then it occurred to me, garlic. I wonder if that place is still going? It was called Pizza Pasta Vino (original I know). Could be useful in the coming months....