Death
Established Member
Hail all!
Earlier this evening I was giving some thought to both air and rail travel, and it suddenly hit me: Could ye imagine if the aviation industry had been created by - And operated in the same manner as - The railways? hock:
In answer to my own question, I'm going to have a go at both sides of that coin here. However, I'm also going to put this out to tender and ask everyone to post their own views on how [Insert your everyday industry here] would be like if they were run by the average ATOC member - And also the reverse; How the railways would work if they were run by - For example - Your local supermarket chain? 8)
Farewell for now, and looking forward to seeing other people's take on the idea!
>> Death <<
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If the Aviation industry had been created and operated by British Rail:
If British Rail had been created and operated by the Aviation industry:
Earlier this evening I was giving some thought to both air and rail travel, and it suddenly hit me: Could ye imagine if the aviation industry had been created by - And operated in the same manner as - The railways? hock:
In answer to my own question, I'm going to have a go at both sides of that coin here. However, I'm also going to put this out to tender and ask everyone to post their own views on how [Insert your everyday industry here] would be like if they were run by the average ATOC member - And also the reverse; How the railways would work if they were run by - For example - Your local supermarket chain? 8)
Farewell for now, and looking forward to seeing other people's take on the idea!
>> Death <<
___________________________________________________________________________ ______________________
If the Aviation industry had been created and operated by British Rail:
- Catching your flight would be easy, with an airport available in every sizable town and city.
- You could buy your ticket online, over the phone, or at the airport immediateley before travel - And get exactly the same fares however and whenever you purchased it.
- Fares would be standardised and easily predictable, with decent discounts available to the young, elderly and disabled.
- The only "Ritual" standing between your arrival at the airport and catching the flight would be the insertion of your ticket into a barrier and walking through.
- If your family or loved ones wanted to see you off at the door to the flight, they'd be able to do so...Using a "Terminal Ticket" for only 10p each.
- You'd never lose items of baggage to mishandling and misdirection because you'd load them on and off of the aircraft yourself.
- Aircraft would arrive at one of four available platforms at the airport...And though you'd have to be careful not to get clipped by the wing when it pulls up, there'd be less chance of you waiting in the wrong place for your flight.
- Most principal airports would have four runways - Two "up" and two "down" - Leading to much more efficient and flexible operation.
- Smaller airports would only have one runway, but it would be reversable. Safety would be assured by having the pilot obtain a "token" and permission to proceed before departing his previous airport.
- Flights during the Autumn would be subject to severe delays due to leaves on the runway,
- Weekend engineering works would close four of Heathrow's six runways, causing numerous diversions and flight replacement bus services to be put on.
- Passengers would be allowed to stand if they so desired, and there wouldn't be such a thing as a "full" flight.
- Passengers would almost certainly have to stand on Virgin Atlantic flights during the weekend.
- Passengers would be allowed to use the lavatory at almost any opportunity, provided the flight wasn't standing in an airport at the time.
- "Turbulance" would only be experienced on Boeing 737-142s.
- The easily understandable signal at the end of the the runway would give you a good indication if the flight was just about to depart or not.
- Although you'd be chinged just as much for on-board catering as on a typical British Airways flight, at least you'd be allowed to bail at Crewe to visit the Tesco's there and continue your journey on a subsequent flight.
- Flights between London and Manchester would be available every twenty minutes in both directions.
- Technological innovation would allow certain high-speed flights to tilt into bends, allowing them to be taken much faster than usual.
- After fifteen minutes of successful and perfect operation, new and innovative designs of vehicle would be scrapped by the Board of Directors because the public "don't like the colour".
If British Rail had been created and operated by the Aviation industry:
- Railway stations would be few in number and located very far from their respective city centres...Sometimes as far as 75 miles away.
- Tickets for all journeys - No matter how short - Would have to be purchased at least six months in advance.
- Passengers would have to arrive at the station at least two hours before departure to allow for exhausive beaurocracy to be carried out.
- Those popping in just to use the station toilets would have to submit to a full security screen beforehand.
- Upon arrival at the station, you'd be directed to a desk with a huge queue where a sullen lady would take your bags, throw them down a 200ft chute, and ask you 50,007 times whether or not you are a terrorist.
- Once you'd got through the palava of checking in for your train and passing through security, you'd find yourself inside an immense hall bursing at the seams with overpriced gift shops and so-called "duty-free" outlets.
- You'd check the screens for the platform number (Or "Gate" number) of your train, eventually finding it on the fifth monitor sandwiched between a 450's ECS move and a 66-hauled Gypsum freight to Southampton docks.
- Once the trains
platformgate number is called to board, passengers would find that they had a minimum 3/4 mile walk to get to the gate. - Stations themselves would be pointlessly huge - Measuring at least 500 x 500 feet in size - And laid out in the most maddening and seemingly pointless manner.
- Entire stations would be served by ONE single line - Handling all passenger, freight and VIP traffic arriving and departing in all directions - And there would be a major public campaign in the locality strongly opposing the installation of a second line.
- Despite the public campaign and opposition of such a second line however, the Government would still grossly abuse their powers and grant consent for installation of that second line anyway, without the blindest bit of regard for public and environmental views! :roll:
- Every incoming and outgoing service would be bought into small sidings leading away from the main line - Referred to as "Gates" in the industry - That would force every single service to reverse back onto the main line again before departure.
- Due to complete pig-headedness in design, every train would have only one driving cab and no reverse gear...Meaning that trains - Needing to back out onto the line to depart - Have to be pushed away from the "gate" using a seriously oversized tow-bar and a shunting loco with huge wheels on it.
- Because of dappy design encountered somewhere along the line, the edge of the "gate" would be located at least 40ft away from the side of the train, meaning that passengers have to use something resembling a giant vacuum cleaner hose to board.
- All seats would face in the same direction, with no tables anwhere and sufficient legroom only for children and those under 5ft in height. The seat in front of you would have the usual two lights embedded in the back of it, with the "No Smoking" light permanently switched on and blinding you throughout the journey.
- Passengers would be required to wear seat-belts during accelleration, decelleration, and when crossing complicated junctions.
- Passengers would only be allowed to use the cramped and smelly on-board lavatory once the "Train Captain" had turned the seatbelt sign off...And after waiting a good 20 minutes in the queue and almost getting there, you'd have to sit down and belt-up again as the train passes through Wellingbrough. hock:
- Psychiatrists would be scratching their heads, trying to figure out how to cure the "fear of Railways".
- Jokes about the quality of BR's catering - Sadly - Wouldn't exist...
- ...But at least whenever the system needed expansion or investment of any kind, the Government would be happy to pile billions of Pounds of public money into said improvements and get them opened on schedule! :roll:
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