Most irritating (small) things on trains...

[py_megapixel]

Using the toilet on VTWC
*Door closes*
- Toilet door is unlocked! Attention: toilet door is unlocked! To lock the door, please push the padlock button!
*I push the button*
- Toilet door locked
*pause*
[Irritatingly cheesy voice] - Hello; it's me - the toilet! I'd just like to ask if you'd mind not flushing wetwipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usually stuff's totally cool - I mean, I knew what I was signing up for when I applied... to be a toilet! I used to be a public toilet, and let me tell you, this is a step up! *sighs* Anyhow... carry on!

At the very least, they need to fit a mute button for the benefit of those who are uninterested in the fictional anecdotes of a bathroom fixture.

 

[hexagon789]

Using the toilet on VTWC
*Door closes*
- Toilet door is unlocked! Attention: toilet door is unlocked! To lock the door, please push the padlock button!
*I push the button*
- Toilet door locked
*pause*
[Irritatingly chees voice] - Hello; it's me - the toilet! I'd just like to ask if you'd mind not flushing wetwipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usually stuff's totally cool - I mean, I knew what I was signing up for when I applied... to be a toilet! I used to be a public toilet, and let me tell you, this is a step up! *sighs* Anyhow... carry on!

At the very least, they need to fit a mute button for the benfit of those who are uninterested in the fictional anecdotes of a bathroom fixture.

It actually says all that?! God that's creepy let alone irritating.

 

[yorksrob]

Because it is thoroughly awkward for everyone. The only way to mentally survive being in one of those sardine tin carriages with all the gross invasions of personal space is to dehumanise everyone else. The moment we start speaking to anyone that fiction is destroyed.

Better that more people can get on and be a bit awkward than leave people behind.

You wouldn't like me in that situation, I can get very forceful over it (in a verbal sense) - if there are more to get on it is downright rude not to make space for them if there is somewhere to move to.

In any case isn't "we're all in this together" a better mentality?

What if they want to get off at the next stop?
They don’t want to be trapped in the middle.....

I am definitely one who would tell people to move down the train.. I don't see why they shouldn't.. I think it's quite rude to be blocking people from standing on the train and especially if it means people get left behind at a station

This is why you need a door to every seating bay.

 

[Scotrail84]

Toilet paper packed so tightly into its container it disintegrates when you try and get a couple of sheets out.

People that go for an Turkish Delight on trains and leave the toilet howling.

 

[700007]

When back on the old timetable a short formed 1654 London Midland to Tring turns up at London Euston, which happened too often especially in the summer formed of one old yeller.... Crikey that's a situation I would actively avoid. Train sat out in the boiling sun all day with windows closed and would literally make everyone soak in their sweat within seconds. Fellow LM commuters probably can relate to that.

 

[700007]

People that go for an Turkish Delight on trains and leave the toilet howling.

Brilliant description.

 

[Bletchleyite]

This is why you need a door to every seating bay.

You really don't. It's not an issue on LU where people know how to behave both in terms of moving down and in terms of looking out for people getting off and moving out of their way.

I'd rather be at Bank at 5:30pm on a weekday evening than at Picc P13/14. It's far, far more civilised.

That said, on LU it's not annoyed people, it's people who recognise that with a full length train on roughly 60 second headways there's not a lot that can be done other than make the best of it. The overcrowding on TPE is inexcusable as all it requires to resolve it is rolling stock, which is on its way but has been an unacceptably long time coming. Not to mention LNR where it is caused by price-dumping of cheap Advances (and to some extent walk-ups) on trains they know full well do not have spare seats; this needs heavily sanctioning in franchise agreements.

 

[Ken H]

You really don't. It's not an issue on LU where people know how to behave both in terms of moving down and in terms of looking out for people getting off and moving out of their way.

I'd rather be at Bank at 5:30pm on a weekday evening than at Picc P13/14. It's far, far more civilised.

That said, on LU it's not annoyed people, it's people who recognise that with a full length train on roughly 60 second headways there's not a lot that can be done other than make the best of it. The overcrowding on TPE is inexcusable as all it requires to resolve it is rolling stock, which is on its way but has been an unacceptably long time coming. Not to mention LNR where it is caused by price-dumping of cheap Advances (and to some extent walk-ups) on trains they know full well do not have spare seats; this needs heavily sanctioning in franchise agreements.

a cheap TOC only ticket is better than a full fare ticket shared out by ORCATS, to the TOC.

 

[bramling]

Better that more people can get on and be a bit awkward than leave people behind.

You wouldn't like me in that situation, I can get very forceful over it (in a verbal sense) - if there are more to get on it is downright rude not to make space for them if there is somewhere to move to.

In any case isn't "we're all in this together" a better mentality?

The difficulty comes when people on the platform insist on trying to get on when there *isn’t* room for people to move down, which is quite often the case. You will still get idiots standing in the platform saying “can you move down”, with the self-same idiot then being the one who is preventing the train from being dispatched and/or preventing the doors closing.

And why should someone move down if they know they’re going to be off at the next stop and moving down will cause them an almighty difficulty getting off?

 

[Meerkat]

Then they open their mouth and say "Can I get off, please?" Or if they prefer they alight, let the person past them and reboard.

If you are getting pushed into the middle of an end doors coach then neither of these are viable.
Totally different to a tube train with multiple doors and more space to switch around (and fewer people with luggage)

 

[Bletchleyite]

If you are getting pushed into the middle of an end doors coach then neither of these are viable.

Yes, they are. Or, as I said, you could alight, let them on and reboard.

 

[Bletchleyite]

The difficulty comes when people on the platform insist on trying to get on when there *isn’t* room for people to move down, which is quite often the case.

In my experience it's very rare for a train to be stacked full all the way to the gangway (doors at thirds) / centre of the aisle (end doors). There's usually space for a few more.

Clapham Junction in the morning peak is probably one of the few exceptions.

 

[Ianno87]

When back on the old timetable a short formed 1654 London Midland to Tring turns up at London Euston, which happened too often especially in the summer formed of one old yeller.... Crikey that's a situation I would actively avoid. Train sat out in the boiling sun all day with windows closed and would literally make everyone soak in their sweat within seconds. Fellow LM commuters probably can relate to that.

As a Cambridge commuter, I certainly don't miss 365s that had been sat sunbathing at Hornsey all day!

 

[Ken H]

If you are getting pushed into the middle of an end doors coach then neither of these are viable.
Totally different to a tube train with multiple doors and more space to switch around (and fewer people with luggage)

too many 153/155/156/158 on packed commuter services, for which they are unsuited. Busy services with frequent stops need stock with 1/3 + 2/3 doors, not end doors.

 

[yorksrob]

You really don't. It's not an issue on LU where people know how to behave both in terms of moving down and in terms of looking out for people getting off and moving out of their way.

I'd rather be at Bank at 5:30pm on a weekday evening than at Picc P13/14. It's far, far more civilised.

That said, on LU it's not annoyed people, it's people who recognise that with a full length train on roughly 60 second headways there's not a lot that can be done other than make the best of it. The overcrowding on TPE is inexcusable as all it requires to resolve it is rolling stock, which is on its way but has been an unacceptably long time coming. Not to mention LNR where it is caused by price-dumping of cheap Advances (and to some extent walk-ups) on trains they know full well do not have spare seats; this needs heavily sanctioning in franchise agreements.

I'd be annoyed if I had to have a tube style train on my commute.

I agree TPE needs more stock to begin with though.

 

[bramling]

As a Cambridge commuter, I certainly don't miss 365s that had been sat sunbathing at Hornsey all day!

This was something which declined over time, with many more units simply working through the day with each successive timetable.

I’d have been glad of 365s this afternoon - the 700 I travelled home in (reluctantly after having to travel earlier to avoid cancellations) seemed to have little functioning air conditioning - very hot and stuffy. Opening windows would have been very welcome indeed.

 

[yorksrob]

This was something which declined over time, with many more units simply working through the day with each successive timetable.

I’d have been glad of 365s this afternoon - the 700 I travelled home in (reluctantly after having to travel earlier to avoid cancellations) seemed to have little functioning air conditioning - very hot and stuffy. Opening windows would have been very welcome indeed.

I've said it before, but I think not including windows that can be opened by the guard if necessary, has been a mistake of modern trains.

 

[47271]

It actually says all that?! God that's creepy let alone irritating.

I'm afraid it does, and has done for a year or so now.

That's bad enough, but does anyone know if the Virgin potty mouth is the same voice that they use for 'Amanda' on M&S self service tills? They sound very, very similar.

I don't want to scan my dinner past a train toilet.

Edit - I've just done a search on the M&S horror and learned that the voice there is that of Amanda Holden, and she's getting the chop there on Monday. Thank goodness for that. So the Virgin toilet sounds like Amanda Holden. About right.

 

[bramling]

I've said it before, but I think not including windows that can be opened by the guard if necessary, has been a mistake of modern trains.

Absolutely, I don’t get why they don’t do that. Was certainly glad of opening windows on some ATW 158s last week on the Cambrian.

Of course, on a DOO train in theory there’s no one to open them.

 

[hexagon789]

I'm afraid it does, and has done for a year or so now.

It's actually kind of sad they've resorted to humour of such a low degree. What is the point?

I don't want to scan my dinner past a train toilet.

I don't blame you for that!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Absolutely, I don’t get why they don’t do that. Was certainly glad of opening windows on some ATW 158s last week on the Cambrian.

Of course, on a DOO train in theory there’s no one to open them.

My house key opens them on class 166...

 

[BJames]

Using the toilet on VTWC
*Door closes*
- Toilet door is unlocked! Attention: toilet door is unlocked! To lock the door, please push the padlock button!
*I push the button*
- Toilet door locked
*pause*
[Irritatingly chees voice] - Hello; it's me - the toilet! I'd just like to ask if you'd mind not flushing wetwipes, sanitary towels or nappies? The usually stuff's totally cool - I mean, I knew what I was signing up for when I applied... to be a toilet! I used to be a public toilet, and let me tell you, this is a step up! *sighs* Anyhow... carry on!

At the very least, they need to fit a mute button for the benfit of those who are uninterested in the fictional anecdotes of a bathroom fixture.

This was an interesting experience the first time I went into a VTWC toilet. Annoying all subsequent times. Completely agree, a mute button wouldn't go amiss, since some people might genuinely find it entertaining.

 

[Meerkat]

Yes, they are. Or, as I said, you could alight, let them on and reboard

How? You get on train, can’t find a seat, and more people keep piling on behind you, or come through from the next carriage.

 

[47271]

It's actually kind of sad they've resorted to humour of such a low degree. What is the point?



I don't blame you for that!

The point they're trying to make is not to dispose of inappropriate items down the toilet. Will the sort of people who do that pay any attention to this, I very much doubt it?

I've edited my post above - the M&S tills are being polluted by Amanda Holden's voice, but they're getting rid of that on Monday apparently.

 

[ChiefPlanner]

When back on the old timetable a short formed 1654 London Midland to Tring turns up at London Euston, which happened too often especially in the summer formed of one old yeller.... Crikey that's a situation I would actively avoid. Train sat out in the boiling sun all day with windows closed and would literally make everyone soak in their sweat within seconds. Fellow LM commuters probably can relate to that.

In my day - non air con 321's sat at Camden all day , used to be opened up by the train preparation guys and cooled down (doors opened upon both sides) - before trundling into EUS for the p,m peak. I hope people appreciated that ...

 

[hexagon789]

The point they're trying to make is not to dispose of inappropriate items down the toilet. Will the sort of people who do that pay any attention to this, I very much doubt it?

The people who do pay attention would probably read the signage or already know anyway.

 

[DanTrain]

Another thing that is mildly annoying is beggars working the train.

Only had it once on an NR train bit heard stories from others in SWT land.

My train was a Southern 377, 8 car, into Victoria but it happened between East Croydon and Clapham Junction.

I wonder if he had a ticket?!

Trust me that’s not as annoying as the ‘musicians’ on the circumvesiviana in Italy. Perhaps they might make more money if you payed them to go away .

 

[hexagon789]

Trust me that’s not as annoying as the ‘musicians’ on the circumvesiviana in Italy. Perhaps they might make more money if you payed them to go away .

Buskers on foreign metros, especially the ones playing pre-recorded tunes on keyboards!

You could be on to something on that last point but don't tell the musicians that or they'll put your proposal into practice!

 

[route101]

The automated message on VTWC after every station , advertising beam !
Or the We'll soon arrive .. which is the last station on the route on SR 385s

 

[maire23]

When the display which shows the stations etc inside the carriage shows a totally different service.
I got on the Leicester-Birmingham New Street train last Sunday but according to the display we were going from Nottingham to Cardiff Central!