Trivia - Proposal Heaven

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Clansman

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A little fun thread (a rarity nowadays), if all the (un?)popular proposals that were posted on this forum became reality, what would we see? <D

Note to self: This thread is going to be a hit or a miss...or a bomb site!
 
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GrimsbyPacer

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We'd see both sensible reopenings like Fleetwood, Ashington, Wisech etc etc. and crazy wacko ideas not thought through completely like HS2.
 

DarloRich

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a bankrupt railway with one train a day ( or even week) running and a vast increase in cost to both the passenger and subsidy along with fewer trains able to run where needed as all of the capacity would be eaten up with services service 4 people and/or running XC trains to Brighton.
 

MidnightFlyer

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The entire set up goes bust within a week after the 17tph frequency on the St Austell-Thetford-Morpeth corridor doesn't do as well as expected, doubled up 442s on the newly-reopened Fort Augustus line are empty and the North of England, Welsh Valleys and West Country are scuppered on account of all of the Pacers disappearing overnight.
 

NSE

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I think you'd see a Pendolino in one platform at Euston, and a cobbled rake of Mk3's in the adjacent platform, both ready for Glasgow. And despite the offer of a £5 First Class all the bells and whistles service on the Pendo, a groaning bunch of enthusiasts throwing handfuls of £50 notes, chequebooks and all the value they have, just to be hauled down the WCML by an 87 or something similar in a regular timetabled service and not just as part of an enthusiast special.
 

backontrack

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Deltic-hauled 442s with CrossCountry branding would be commonplace. These would operate on a 6tph basis from Mallaig via Glasgow Crossrail, Dumfries, the Settle & Carlisle, Clitheroe, Manchester (where a 68 would take over), Leeds (where the Deltic would return), Pontefract Baghill, York (then back to TransPennine 68 haulage), back to Manchester, then over to Nottingham (which has to be CrossCountry), Crewe, Norton Bridge, Birmingham New Street, Birmingham International, Northampton, then on to Wellingborough, then Peterborough, Shippea Hill, Berney Arms, East Suffolk, Stratford, HS1, Ashford International, then Tonbridge, Reading, Kensington Olympia, East Croydon and Brighton.

All trains would be 'ram-packed' with people arguing about Jeremy Corbyn. There would be no loos (on account of people worrying about them becoming like those horrid Voyager ones), and all humour would be ranked longside smoking as illicit. A squadron of RailUK enforcers would deal with any worker doubting the validity of a Carnet Ticket, while one-time users who have made 'genuine mistakes' are kept in custody at the Upper Crust in Euston station and sneered at for a week.
 
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J-2739

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A utopia or dystopia?
There's only one way to decide this...
FIIIIGHTTT!!! :p
 

HMS Ark Royal

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a bankrupt railway with one train a day ( or even week) running and a vast increase in cost to both the passenger and subsidy along with fewer trains able to run where needed as all of the capacity would be eaten up with services service 4 people and/or running XC trains to Brighton.

I believe that is called Southern Rail...

#
 

Clansman

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Deltic-hauled 442s with CrossCountry branding would be commonplace. These would operate on a 6tph basis from Mallaig via Glasgow Crossrail, Dumfries, the Settle & Carlisle, Clitheroe, Manchester (where a 68 would take over), Leeds (where the Deltic would return), Pontefract, York (then back to TransPennine 68 haulage), back to Manchester, then over to Nottingham (which has to be CrossCountry), Crewe, Norton Bridge, Birmingham New Street, Birmingham International, Northampton, then on to Wellingborough, then Peterborough, Shippea Hill, Berney Arms, East Suffolk, Stratford, HS1, Ashford International, then Tonbridge, Reading, Kensington Olympia, East Croydon and Brighton.

All trains would be 'ram-packed' with people arguing about Jeremy Corbyn. There would be no loos (on account of people worrying about them becoming like those horrid Voyager ones), and all humour would be ranked longside smoking as illicit. A squadron of RailUK toughies would deal with any worker doubting the validity of a Carnet Ticket, while one-time users who have made 'genuine mistakes' are kept in custody at the Upper Crust at Euston and sneered at for a week.

That is the best thing I've read.
 

Harbornite

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Deltic-hauled 442s with CrossCountry branding would be commonplace. These would operate on a 6tph basis from Mallaig via Glasgow Crossrail, Dumfries, the Settle & Carlisle, Clitheroe, Manchester (where a 68 would take over), Leeds (where the Deltic would return), Pontefract, York (then back to TransPennine 68 haulage), back to Manchester, then over to Nottingham (which has to be CrossCountry), Crewe, Norton Bridge, Birmingham New Street, Birmingham International, Northampton, then on to Wellingborough, then Peterborough, Shippea Hill, Berney Arms, East Suffolk, Stratford, HS1, Ashford International, then Tonbridge, Reading, Kensington Olympia, East Croydon and Brighton.

All trains would be 'ram-packed' with people arguing about Jeremy Corbyn. There would be no loos (on account of people worrying about them becoming like those horrid Voyager ones), and all humour would be ranked longside smoking as illicit. A squadron of RailUK toughies would deal with any worker doubting the validity of a Carnet Ticket, while one-time users who have made 'genuine mistakes' are kept in custody at the Upper Crust at Euston and sneered at for a week.

You forgot the slip coaches for Newhaven Marine, Looe and Dovey Junction. You could use class 230s for these services.


Quite a few people have suggested further uses for the class 373s. London Midland could get one, paint it in their livery and stick it on the stourbridge town branch. Due to its length, it wouldn't have to move very far.

Apart from here, the network would be stuck in a strange timewarp with semaphores and small signal boxes almost everywhere and plenty of unused, rusting sidings because all the freight will have shifted to road and air. Dozens of cllass 47s and 37s would be in use, hauling bedraggled rakes of mark 1s and 2s. Only one Class 390 set would survive and it would be reserved for the London Euston to Wick sleeper.
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We'd see both sensible reopenings like Fleetwood, Ashington, Wisech etc etc. and crazy wacko ideas not thought through completely like HS2.

Somehow I think the people behind HS2 will have put more thought into it than you think and will know more about HS2 and its benefits than some random bloke sat in front of a computer in Humberside. :)
 
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Clansman

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Surplus 67s+442s on Glasgow to Nottingham via S&C anyone?
 

rf_ioliver

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A fleet of 12-car commuter trains - probably electric - running between the sparsely populated towns of London (South) and Brighton.

Said trains would run, say, ever 5-10 minutes stopping at Preston Park, Hassocks....Gatwick...Croydon etc...

Nah...you're right...crazy ideas....

t.

Ian
 

backontrack

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That is the best thing I've read.

Wow, thanks! :D
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
You forgot the slip coaches for Newhaven Marine, Looe and Dovey Junction. You could use class 230s for these services.

Nah, we're just going to turn a pacer into a house and put it at Newhaven Marine for HMS Ark Royal to live in. :lol:
 
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Loop Line

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F***t cl*** on M********* trains. Even less anti social-behaviour owing to improvement upon by-law enforcement scheme. Bikes no longer causing chaos or scuffed shoes on account of having their own space. Burscough curves back in use and how about a recruitment programme for staff so there are never ever train cancellations owing to shortage. Unusual before, now impossible. The programme can be fronted by Edward Fox. Everyone will want to work on the railways then.
Wouldn't it be great if railway expansion could eventually replace buses. All electric running. It would be greener perhaps. Quieter too. Metro trains and trams could be expanded upon. Electric trolley buses might be suitable for some places also.

I'd like to see a reopening of every line ever built.
 
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Cowley

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All single passengers to be allocated 4 seats plus table, with window aligned with said seating area. 1 seat for feet, 1 for bag and 1 for litter from complimentary coffee and slice of merangue. No one else in set of seats nearest either side, even on. Actually, no. Especially on busiest commuter trains. Platforms obviously lengthened to accommodate this.

Reintroduction of sleeper trains, specifically internal Wales, Devon and Cornwall and East Anglia regions, but no ridiculously early arrivals so some kind of circling system to be put in place (not too fast around corners obviously).

An introduction of a Race to the North system between Virgin's East and West Coast . Last one to Scotland each afternoon has to pay back a percentage of their subsidy and be humiliated in the papers.
 
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Class 319

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442s hauled by 68s and take over. Class 185s are split into 1 car units and are operated by every TOC possible. All Anglian stock is relocated to Wales.
 

backontrack

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Alongside the live music trains and real ale trains on the Penistone Line, a new initiative is announced: the live argument train. This remains stationary at Denby Dale while its passengers argue about Vivarail D78s.

Andrew Neil is made the host of a new BBC current affairs programme: The DOO-ly Politics. Regular alumni include Michael Portillo, who talks about regularly using DOO-trains to reach hat factories and cloth warehouses, and Diane Abbott, who explains how the whole DOO argument is massively important to the people of Hackney.

Railsigns tours the country in a helicopter, immediately landing to stick banners on lineside plaques reading "IT'S A DATUM PLATE!!!!!!!!!" whenever his sign-y sense tingles.
 
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tsr

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Culminating years of interest by a very, very small proportion of forum members, Oyster is extended to a couple of stations in Kent, Woolwich Dockyard is extended to take 12 coaches (or 10 coaches of 442 and a locomotive), and the next discussion of the Southeastern network is postponed until the year 2116, when Charles Horton will have taken over again.
 

Gathursty

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The Stranraer line gets extended beneath the waves and surfaces again in Belfast using the Tony Blair Tunnel.
 

Harbornite

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I'd like to see a reopening of every line ever built.

Me too. I'd like to be able to catch an intercity 250 at Harborne and get off at London Euston. In this fantasy, there would be no such thing as tickets.
 

61653 HTAFC

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Alongside the live music trains and real ale trains on the Penistone Line, a new initiative is announced: the live argument train. This remains stationary at Denby Dale while its passengers argue about Vivarail D78s.

Brilliant! As an added bonus DBD gets a loop- just a shame it's slap bang between the other two!
 

EbbwJunction1

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Isambard Kingdom Brunel's plan for a through service to America via Neyland is revived.

This would mean direct, non-stop, High Speed Trains (or, soon, the electric equivalent) from London Paddington to Neyland. There, the passengers are transported to their luxury cruise liner, which crosses the Atlantic to New York in very quick time.
 

Tetchytyke

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Surplus 67s+442s on Glasgow to Nottingham via S&C anyone?

Don't forget it'd go through Bradford Crossrail and then down the Spen Valley, before doubling over Woodhead to Manchester and then Darby Dale. From Nottingham it'd go through Corby and then down the Marston Vale to Aylesbury (with a slip coach for Brill), where it would then be a through train to Watford Met via the Rickmansworth Curve.
 

Mordac

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Alongside the live music trains and real ale trains on the Penistone Line, a new initiative is announced: the live argument train. This remains stationary at Denby Dale while its passengers argue about Vivarail D78s.
Would Paul Sidorczuk be drafted out of retirement to act as host?
 

J-2739

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Major loading gauge clearing (not UIC GC, but the channel tunnel variety) and rail travel could never get more comfy. Next, every line in the country reopened and many more lines built as possible. We'd also improve rail links to our continental cousins by building multiple 'Channel Tunnels' all over Europe. Finish that with a project to electrify every rail route!!

Really, a 15 million kilometres network with a 1/3 electrified is too small to be honest.
 

pne

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Finish that with a project to electrify every rail route!!

Not to mention making sure that everything is at least double track, preferably quadruple (up fast, up slow, down fast, down slow).

No more single-track stretches - what are we, some kind of third-world country where trains have to wait in a passing loop before anything can run the other way?
 

Clansman

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Don't forget it'd go through Bradford Crossrail and then down the Spen Valley, before doubling over Woodhead to Manchester and then Darby Dale. From Nottingham it'd go through Corby and then down the Marston Vale to Aylesbury (with a slip coach for Brill), where it would then be a through train to Watford Met via the Rickmansworth Curve.

Maybe add in a cheeky diversion via Dumfries, because "You'd be as well to"...
 

backontrack

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Would Paul Sidorczuk be drafted out of retirement to act as host?

He's too busy leading a Halt the socialistic lint-minded harebrained proletariat Marxist dealings of the RMT rally, while drunken Trip Report section members go on a non-stop circular journey round and round the Todmorden Curve via Bolton until the pacer they are on collapses into pieces.

New railway lines are constructed to Fleetwood, Leigh, Ashbourne, Droylsden, Newport Pagnell, Banchory, Sedbergh, Lynmouth, Fortrose, Newcastle Emlyn, Perranporth, and, at the request of DaleCooper, B*tchfield in Lincolnshire. The Settle & Carlisle Line rails melt after Michael Portillo breathes on them and they become gold.

An armed group of rogue enthusiasts break into Birmingham New Street and attempt to divert a CrossCountry train to Brighton. They are unsuccessful as the gun turns out to be a guard's ticket puncher. Another attempt to divert a train to Ramsgate fails because it took place on Sunday, and because the conspirators failed to reach Cannon Street on time.

The Far North Line becomes the Moderately North Line as branches reach Hoy, Stronsay, Scalloway, and Bergen. These trains are formed of anything the network has left - so expect Networkers as commuter trains to Slough and Reading are now run by 442s.

Bob Geldof tries to film charity appeals from the station at East Croydon. He fails, however, as there is not enough room for the camera to start filming.
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Brilliant! As an added bonus DBD gets a loop- just a shame it's slap bang between the other two!

Thanks! :D
 
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