Useless announcements (or bits thereof)

[Pumbaa]

Today on LM - welcome aboard this LM service to Crewe up the Trent Valley calling at.... Oh why are you bothering - it's quicker on Virgin, it's nicer and at least you don't have to share your neighbours armpit. You'd have thought by now the depot could at least send ut the right train for this service (it was a /2) Enjoy your journey.

Quality guard - I don't know where he's based but I've had him a few times now - both BHM > LIV and from STA > RUG.

 

[royaloak]

If you REALLY think that someone skiing down an escalator would stand much of a chance of suing the Rail Co/Station operator/Otis Ltd - I really can say no more.

No they PROBABLY wouldnt but the person/people they hit would!

 

[moonrakerz]

No they PROBABLY wouldnt but the person/people they hit would!

Ah - but that is a totally different kettle of fish !

 

[The 158 Man]

Those bloody TPE announcements are pathetic! We'd only been 2mins (if that) out of York tonight and we'd already been subjected to at least 4/5 stupid announcements. :roll:

And on top of that, after all that rubbish had finished, the Conductor then came onto the intercom and repeated everything again manually! :roll:

 

[CompactDstrxion]

This morning at Haymarket among the snow-caused chaos the boards showed the 1002 service to Edinburgh as departing from Platform 0.

For those that don't know Haymarket, it does actually have a Platform 0, but it is the bay platform

 

[Aictos]

This morning at Haymarket among the snow-caused chaos the boards showed the 1002 service to Edinburgh as departing from Platform 0.

For those that don't know Haymarket, it does actually have a Platform 0, but it is the bay platform

Why don't they just renumber the platforms from 1 to 5 then instead of the current 0 to 4?

 

[Vulcan]

because then they'd have to change all the signalling to show the new numbers and then all the platform information displays to also show the new numbers. Its a whole lot easier to leave everything else alone and give the new platform a new number. I had to look twice when I saw it the first time, and apparently this is why.

 

[Death]

I think this picture shows how screwed up the CIS gets at times..

So why will doors not be welcome to Grateley?

That proves that the PIS gets screwed up a lot of the time...That photo was obviously taken at Guildford on platform 7! hock:

...but if anyone remembers that daft git who skied down the escalators at Angel LUL station not so long ago? No surprise then that this announcement gets played then is it.

"Your attention please! Please note that the use of rollerblades, skateboards, skis, and violins is not permitted upon any London Underground station. Please extinguish all sports equipment immediateley - Thankyou." :razz:

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Anyhow...Here's one that I recall hearing a few years ago on a 2-up Sprinter as it was pulling into Waterloo. The train itself was running severely behind schedule because of a critical hydraulic failure in the front unit, meaning the set had been held at Woking for a thorough inspection and had proceeded to London under half-power:

Driver: Ladies and gentlemen, we shall shortly be arriving at London Waterloo where this train terminates. I would like to apologise to all passengers for the severe delay this evening, this was due to our train experiencing a "slight" technical problem. If it's of any consolation to you though, both the Guard and I will be getting home late tonight as well.

[A few seconds pass...]

Guard: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to apologise for the drivers poor sense of humour this evening! London Waterloo is our next and final stop, and once again I apologise for the severe delay to your journey this evening.

I must admit that I'd been a bit irked by the delay and slow progress of the journey, but when I got off at waterloo I accepted that it was a justifiable one. The back half of the front unit was literally plastered with hydraulic oil up one side, and it's a testament to the build quality of the Sprinters that the rear unit had managed to propel the whole train along without difficulty for the remainder of the journey! hock:8)

 

[ChrisTheRef]

When my 1930 BHM-GLC service was delayed by 2 hours back in January, you can imagine nobody was best pleased.
The guard did his best though. My favourite was:
"Hello, me again! We are now approaching Crewe, change here for...erm...actually there are no connecting services anymore, we're too late. You'll be pleased to hear we've actually made up 3 minutes between Stafford and Crewe, and we're arriving into Crewe a mere 119 minutes late. Thank you for travelling with Virgin Trains"

 

[Capybara]

He didn't even give a list of stations this morning, simply, 'Next stop Addlestone, and due to arrive in London Waterloo at .....'!

 

[Greenback]

I had a little grin today on the 1600 from Swansea to Carmarthen when there were three seperate manual announcements informing us that 'this train does NOT stop at Gowerton'. Methinks a complaint has been made after someone boarded the 1600 instead of the Gowerton train (1605 to Pembroke Dock) 5 minutes later!

Beats me why they both go from platform 3 and only the Carmarthen train appears on the monitors!

 

[Vulcan]

Huddersfield has gotten bad at rubbish announcements. t'other week I heard (all automatic announcements, one after the other) : 'Do not feed the Pigeons', 'Parents watch your children and keep them away from the platform edge.' and 'Transpennine Exress work by the conditions of carriage, and as such passengers need to buy a ticket before they board. anyone boarding without a ticket will be required to buy a full fare ticket on the train.' What a load of rubbish, all these could be simply put up as signs around the station.

Also at Leeds this morning 'for your comfort and safety, Leeds station has a no smoking policy' Although I'm glad the people stood around me arn't smoking, how would it affect my safety???

 

[142094]

Brings up the discussion about TPE and "If you have chosen to walk past an open ticket office...".

I would love someone to test it out, just to say to the guard "I didn't walk past it, I'm in a wheelchair" etc and see what they do. Would make my day.

 

[Ivo]

With regards to pointless announcements, anyone care to explain why Southern have introduced "This is Coach X of Y"?

 

[ungreat]

Easy answer to most of this..in general,people are thick or listening to the latest rubbish churned out by US rap crap artists,or texting,or on Wastebook on their phones..therefore thousands of announcements are necessary for these imbeciles so they can continue their cyber induced trance without having to look themselves.

 

[16CSVT2700]

I heard a curious set of (manual) announcements at Sheffield today:

"The next train on platform 8 is not a public service, please do not board the next train at platform 8" (I forget the exact wording).

HST pulls into platform 8, stops.

About 2 minutes later, HST still in platform 8:

"Platform 8 for the xx:xx service to London St. Pancras, calling at ...."

I believe most station CIS boards run off the headcodes of trains, I know our HSS CIS at GW does for certain.
So if the train comes in as 5Z00 it'll announce that it's not stopping, because it's not a recognised train on the list of booked stopping headcodes. Once the train's headcode has been changed, and usually 2 minutes before departure time it'll announce the service.
Manual announcements however.. surely staff should know if it's not stopping as it won't be in their working books. Although places like Sheffield may have the ECS moves in their working books/TRUST screens and should be able to work out what ECS forms what WTT service

 

[stut]

With regards to pointless announcements, anyone care to explain why Southern have introduced "This is Coach X of Y"?

I assume because of the number of splitting services. I've even been on a 3-way 12-car splitter (middle 4 for stations beyond Eastbourne), so it's pretty handy.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Biggleswade has almost all of its London-bound trains going from platform 1, but there's a couple of peak hour expresses that use platform 2 for the fast lines.

The PIS only displays platform one, so you're relying on announcements to inform you. However, after every single timetable change, it displays these trains as being from platform 1, followed by a platform change announcement a couple of minutes before departure, usually for about a week.

It's quite fun watching the split of regular commuters and occasional traveller between the two platforms..

 

[Pumbaa]

With regards to pointless announcements, anyone care to explain why Southern have introduced "This is Coach X of Y"?

They've been doing it a fair while!

 

[Surreytraveller]

With regards to pointless announcements, anyone care to explain why Southern have introduced "This is Coach X of Y"?

So passengers know they're in the correct part of a train that splits on route, or for a station that has short platforms.

 

[Mojo]

Yeah that is the reason, it's just annoying they announce it where that doesn't apply.

 

[Ivo]

17:39 at Bradford-on-Avon today...

"Your attention please, we are sorry that the 17:20 First Great Western service to Cardiff Central is delayed by approximately 20 minutes."

Sounds reasonable, predictable even? Take note that the train in question was 500 metres up the line going towards Bath Spa. In other words, it had already been. Whoops.

 

[Ibex]

I believe most station CIS boards run off the headcodes of trains, I know our HSS CIS at GW does for certain.
So if the train comes in as 5Z00 it'll announce that it's not stopping, because it's not a recognised train on the list of booked stopping headcodes. Once the train's headcode has been changed, and usually 2 minutes before departure time it'll announce the service.
Manual announcements however.. surely staff should know if it's not stopping as it won't be in their working books. Although places like Sheffield may have the ECS moves in their working books/TRUST screens and should be able to work out what ECS forms what WTT service

We have that problem with St Albans Abbey trains at Watford. The CIS does run off headcodes and each train has a 'train type', e.g. if its got a P next to Watford it will announce it as a passing train, S it will do a set down announcement, etc etc.

However as the Abbey line is effectively a shuttle on a single track line with no track circuits, it doesn't pick up headcodes for the departures or the train type for the outward journey so the screen usually insists that it Terminates Here and not much more.

In regards to pointless announcements though the 365 hustle alarm announcement is majorly unnecessary. Same for the 350 Julie announcements where you get around 7 announcements between Watford and Harrow.

 

[ert47]

Yeah that is the reason, it's just annoying they announce it where that doesn't apply.

It bugs me when they announce it on the Northbound service into London when all the trains have joined =/

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One time travelling northbound on EC from Kings Cross to Peterborough (train continuing to Leeds), pulling into Stevenage, it was announce that the train was approaching Peterborough! That led to a confusing couple of minutes!

The one automatic announcement that bugs me particularly on Southern - the "Thank you for travelling with Southern" one. I know they're showing gratitude, but I personally didn't exactly have any choice in the matter. :roll:

 

[jopsuk]

Not an audio announcement, but surely the West Anglia 317s can have the bit about Oyster PAYG validity set to not be included on the scrolling PIS after they've left zone 6 (or even after they leave the last valid station they stop at). Seems silly to still be being told about the limits as you approach Cambridge.

 

[philjo]

There is a particularly amusing (but unnecessary) recorded announcement sometimes played on the FCC 365 units.
It starts by saying "This is a special announcement to assist passengers with boarding & alighting from this train" It goes on for a couple of minutes, but it basically tells you how to open the train doors - it usually leaves most of the train passengers either looking confused or in stitches of laughter.
There is one driver who tends to use this from time to time.

 

[jon0844]

Sounds reasonable, predictable even? Take note that the train in question was 500 metres up the line going towards Bath Spa. In other words, it had already been. Whoops.

Seems to me that the delay is now somewhere nearer 24 hours for that service.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

There is one driver who tends to use this from time to time.

There is one driver who uses it, and many other announcements, all the time!

He usually adds manual announcements too. 365s don't announce the stopping pattern by audio anymore, presumably as that bit is hard coded to say West Anglia Great Northern?

 

[spoony]

Every morning at Stadium of Light metro at 7.48 the Northern service to Nunthorpe passes on the opposite platform. Every morning without fail there is an announcement "This train does not stop, please stand clear of the platform edge." Only slight flaw is that it only comes on after the train has passed by:roll:

 

[philjo]

There is one driver who uses it, and many other announcements, all the time!

He usually adds manual announcements too. 365s don't announce the stopping pattern by audio anymore, presumably as that bit is hard coded to say West Anglia Great Northern?

I assume so, as it still displays on the screens but isn't announced at the start of the journey - only the final destination.
For some of the new peak hour services with odd stopping patterns (e.g. the fast ones that terminate at Royston) , all the announcements are manual, so presumably these patterns haven't been programmed in yet.

When we have an automated announcement telling you that we are approaching a certain station which is a key interchange or the train will be dividing, etc, this particular driver also follows the automated announcement with a manual announcement starting with "as my colleague just told you, we are now approaching ..."

 

[Aictos]

Talking of such announcements, 365529 thinks it still works for WAGN as the onboard CIS announces every service as a West Anglian Great Northern service to.....!

 

[142094]

Every morning at Stadium of Light metro at 7.48 the Northern service to Nunthorpe passes on the opposite platform. Every morning without fail there is an announcement "This train does not stop, please stand clear of the platform edge." Only slight flaw is that it only comes on after the train has passed by:roll:

Not very good. There was a discussion on Nexus' new forum about the Millfield ghost train. Think it is once an hour a train doesn't stop at Millfield to allow it enough time to get through Sunderland in front of the Northern train, but the screens are still counting down it as a stopping service.