Perhaps you could present your own proposal for accelerating these particular trains, if they're doing such a bad job of it? It's such a quiet bit of railway too.
Thank you for asking for a proposal. My suggestion is that the Cobham line is put back on the fast tracks between Waterloo and Surbiton. This is where it started in the 1920s and where it stayed for the main part for the next 70 years - except in 1967 when some bright spark had the idea of putting it on the slow tracks for a few months. I rather suspect that one of the main reasons that it is such a quiet bit of railway, as you point out, is that people are so fed up with the crawl into town that they vote with their feet and drive. No doubt someone is going to scream that there is no space on the fast tracks, or that Earlsfield needs more trains so that the travelers from Clandon and other stations just better sit there for a few more minutes. I don't buy it, and I can't imagine that many ticket purchasing travelers on the line buy it either.
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The Cobhams run slow line because they stop at more stations in the London suburbs than they used to!
As for the rest of your post-

what a complete lack of knowledge you have about modern railway operating practices, most of them due to health and safety and the present suing culture in which we live.
I do Cobhams quite often and very rarely get stopped at a red signal but what the hell do I know, I just drive the trains! :roll:
First, thank you for driving on this line. No one is more important to the comfort and safety of the passenger than the driver, and I appreciate all that you do for us under stressful conditions.
I realize that the trains stop at more stations than they used to, and that is a problem that has totally degraded service on the line. IMHO it needs to be fixed and I have made a suggestion on that elsewhere - the answer is the fast line and less stops of course.
My lack of knowledge of many topics is indeed vast, and I appreciate you pointing this out to me and to others on this Board. I am a chartered engineer who sometimes does a good job, and sometimes not so good, and the nature of engineering is that one indeed does not know everything. Let me draw an analogy between the electronics industry and the railways. In 1967 I had a state of the art 6-transistor radio. In 1971 Intel brought out an integrated circuit with 2000 transistors. My iPhone 5 has 32bn transistors. And the result of this is that we have a resource in each of our pockets that is equivalent to all the computing power in all the universities in 1967. In 1967 the 17:32 Waterloo to Hinchley Wood arrived at 17:51. I know because I took it. Funnily enough there is a 17:32 today, and it arrives at 18:05. It takes 14 mins, or 74% longer. The word "pathetic" springs to mind.
Thank you for correcting me on the red signals. In the old days one could look out and see the red signals, and fortunately that is not possible today. I assume the crawl that we are subjected to must derive from the slack time tabling that you are forced to adhere to.
You make an excellent point about H&S. The 4SUBs were no doubt death traps measured by today's standards. But these kind of H&S improvements have had to be made by every industry, and are just a fact of life that for sure cost a fortune, but have to be dealt with as background. It is no excuse for a 74% longer journey time.
But we wander from the theme of this thread. The point is that doing something about P8 at Clapham Junction seems hardly to be beyond the skills of the railway engineering community. Modern underground stations have doors on the platform which would have seemed bizarre years ago. If there is a height and distance issue between the train and the platform at CJ, then I am sure that a solution could be found that involves in extremis a moving platform edge. Sounds expensive I know, but if the British engineering community is without ideas on the topic, then I am sure that the Chinese could develop something - and make it very cost competitively. All these things need are a little imagination, and admittedly a dose of cash. I am sure that Brunel would have found a cost effective answer.
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The dwell time in stations for a 4SUB would have been a lot shorter, as people typically started getting off before the train had stopped. Not officially allowed or good practice, but it made things faster when compared to a Desiro.
The railway is also busier than it was back then. There are plans I believe for a bidirectional relief line between Surbiton and Waterloo. Once this is installed it might be possible to have peak trains calling at Clapham Junction again. In the meantime it's unlikely anything will happen.
If everything's running on time, then you probably could have at least some trains calling at Clapham Junction in the peak. The real world however won't allow for perfect time keeping so some padding has to be added to allow the service to recover. Back in 1967, the railway wasn't punished for late trains. Nowadays they get fined heavily for every delay minute. This has forced the rail industry to consider its timetabling more carefully, and consequently timetables have in a many cases ended up slower because it makes them more reliable.
Yes indeed, the speed of on/offs was no doubt quicker in those days. I'd need to see a time and motion study, but I find it hard to believe that this was down to people opening the doors early - though I may be wrong. I suspect that the main issue is that the present design is not conducive to letting passengers on and off quickly - aka there are too few doors. But I truly don't know, and I am sure there are people on this Board who do, and who knows if something could be done about it anyway.
The railway is indeed busier today. But believe me, that 7:10am from Guildford in the 1960s could not have been more packed when it reached Clapham Junction. It was jam packed by New Malden actually, and trying to get off from the opposite side of the compartment was not always easy with people pushing on. So I think the "busy" aspect is more to do with the number of trains. I don't advocate for stopping at Clapham Junction in the rush hours. It sounds like chaos. As for the 5th track - sounds like a fantasy in my lifetime unless the economy gets one heck of a lot better.
And you bring up an issue for which there is no excuse. If the fining system is causing the operators to put in millions of passenger-minutes of slack time into their timetables then clearly the system is not working. What on earth is this costing the economy merely to implement a policy of fines? This is what I mean about the railways - there is always a bogus excuse, and someone needs to revisit the policy so that there is a balance between best efforts and poor performance by the train operators. Allowing building in a ton of slack time is a crazy solution to what is no doubt a real issue of holding the operators' feet to the fire.