And yet you neglect to mention the Underwater Basket-Weaving... *sigh*
The marine weaving community has faced considerable slurs since the University College Surbiton degree course's inception. Well, it's fair to say that we're not rattled. It will take more than derision and looks of askance to put
our noses out of joint. Underwater Basket-Weaving is an honourable profession and a worthy craft, and it's one with a lengthy and well-catalogued history.
It all began in the 1790s when a young Dr Harold Ostwick-Undermanager of Bromsgrove harboured a fascination with tropical fish. Luckily he was well-placed to observe them, and soon took to swimming with them (his enjoyment of which blossomed when he became the proud owner of a snorkel). Dr Harold's other passion was for basket-weaving, and he soon started to combine the two (with evident effect). It was not until the 1810s, however, that this became a popular pastime, when, under the auspicious rule of King George III (a notable fan of the craft), Dr Harold announced that a course would be created dedicated to underwater basket-weaving at UC Surbiton (of which Dr Harold was an alumnus. Many other institutions followed suit). A craze for underwater basket-weaving soon followed, with 15-year-olds wandering around town centres with their eyes glued to their weaving as they practised. The aims of these teens were to spot as many imaginary baskets as they could (an unfortunate effect that so-called '
ultras' were prone to as they wove in salt water).
Dr Harold's efforts have not been forgotten, and it has recently been revealed that the course at UC Surbiton (and also at St Andrews, of all places) are still a feature of university life to this day.
So, next time you hear of the Underwater Basket-Weavers, pray do not mock us, for we are the proud owners of an honourable profession of the highest order. A profession that Dr Harold and his contemporaries would have been proud of today.
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Best of luck to anyone receiving GCSE results today!