Dumb Britain

[deltic1989]

I once had the misfortune of working at mc donalds. On day a smart businessman walked in and said "what kind of food do you serve here?". I was thinking what rock have you been hiding under since 1974. What made it funnier was the menus behind the counter as we all know have pictures of the food.

 

[scotsman]

I travelled to Jersey on Flybe last year presenting my driving license. The full list of accepted ID, from their website:

I flew using Young Scot card as my ID - helpful little thing!
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At Aviemore Station, in the car park "Can I park here?" "ehh yeah"

Then there was the jakie that thought there was a toilet in the cab of a 170...

 

[Lrd]

As said today by some random on a train in Wales:
"Why do trains have horns?"

Friend reply's:
"In case another train is coming the other way, so they don't crash".

Made me chuckle.

 

[Bungle73]

My 16 year old sister asked me what day is Christmas Day! She didn't know it was the 25th December, I thought it was a joke, but she was actually being serious!

She must have been having you on. I'm pretty sure most kids know when Xmas is off by heart because they look forward to it so much. At least I did

I know a painfully large number of people, both at Uni and elsewhere, who genuinely have no idea where Leeds is hock:

Why are you obsessed with people knowing where Leeds is? I couldn't pinpoint it on a map myself (except that it's "up north" somewhere). Why should I be able to to, seeing as I live in the south and there's nothing special about it?

Just had someone's mother think that the age of consent is 18... That changed a loooong time ago (about 8 years)

8 years? Um what? The age of consent has been 16 for as long as I can remember.

Others include the mother claiming her son couldn't cross roads, the lady who took that call thought it best to ask the age (unoccompanied minors and all) and was shocked at the reply "22"

Maybe he was disabled in some way?

However i confess when my brother joined the navy, i was only 14. He was going on a submarine, and i did ask him if it had windows.....i know, i know, rediculous!

What's ridiculous about a submarine having windows?

Despite the name of the thread I find American tourists to be the doppiest so and so's out there. My favourite was when I was at Windsor castle and an American walks by saying "Why did they build the castle under a flight path" durrrrrrrrrrrr.

Are you sure you actually heard that yourself, because it's a story that's been doing the rounds for years.

Well, actually, IIRC, it doesn't explain anywhere that the lines are separate entities.

Yes it does, in the key; it tells you which line is which

 

[richw]

I once had the misfortune of working at mc donalds. On day a smart businessman walked in and said "what kind of food do you serve here?". I was thinking what rock have you been hiding under since 1974. What made it funnier was the menus behind the counter as we all know have pictures of the food.

also a former mcd employee, always made me laugh when someone stood reading the menu for ages and then requested a burger king product.

 

[ainsworth74]

8 years? Um what? The age of consent has been 16 for as long as I can remember.

Only for heterosexual acts. For male homosexuals the age of consent was upon decriminalisation in 1967 set at 21, it was then lowered in 1994 to 18 and finally equalised with heterosexuals (and for the first time included lesbians) at 16 in 2000. Not really all that long ago (though admittedly more than 8 years).

 

[Bungle73]

Only for heterosexual acts. For male homosexuals the age of consent was upon decriminalisation in 1967 set at 21, it was then lowered in 1994 to 18 and finally equalised with heterosexuals (and for the first time included lesbians) at 16 in 2000. Not really all that long ago (though admittedly more than 8 years).

He didn't say homosexual; to me that means he meant the heterosexual one.

I just thought of a good one: people who are on the phone on the train, which goes into a tunnel, then they act surprised when they get cut off: "Hello? Hello?". Or when you're on a subsurface Tube train in a bit where it's open to the air for short while, someone gets a phone call and proceeds to chat with the person even though they are about to inevitably loose reception.
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Oh here's another classic: on a radio programme I listen to they have a weekly section where people phone in to ask questions about something they've always wondered (it's called "Mystery Hour"). Someone wanted to know why islands don't float away......

 

[Wyvern]

What's ridiculous about a submarine having windows?

It's chimneys that are a problem.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_K_class_submarine

 

[DarloRich]

Some people really are daft.

On the train today the trolley came round - "Would you like any fruit?"

"Oh no thanks - I don't like fruit. Do you have a banana?"

Facepalm.

I know this gets done fairly regularly, but it's only because there's no shortage of new material.

Fire away!

Although it is NOT quite as stupid as you may think.

While the Banana itself is a fruit as it contans the fruits of the plant, the actual "tree" is a herbaceous plant (or 'herb'), not a tree, because the stem does not contain true woody tissue.

 

[table38]

While the Banana itself is a fruit as it contans the fruits of the plant, the actual "tree" is a herbaceous plant (or 'herb'), not a tree, because the stem does not contain true woody tissue.

You are Stephen Fry, and I claim my £5

 

[SS4]

What's ridiculous about a submarine having windows?

Wouldn't it impair hull integrity, especially at the high pressures on the outside of sub.

 

[table38]

The submarine I went on in Disneyland had windows

And some submarines also probably have Windows™

 

[GNER 373]

I've had more than a few phonecalls from my friends to my home phone and they've asked where I'm at?!

 

[DarloRich]

You are Stephen Fry, and I claim my £5

why? I am confused!

 

[table38]

I'm guessing you don't watch QI then

 

[DarloRich]

oh yes sorry!
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Bananas are technically a herb.

no they are a fruit - the "tree" is a herb

 

[Schnellzug]

Wouldn't it impair hull integrity, especially at the high pressures on the outside of sub.

in the pressure hull, perhaps, but most Russian designs (there's a picture above somewhere) have them in the conning tower for, presumably, navigation on the Surface.

 

[table38]

no they are a fruit - the "tree" is a herb

Similaly in the "QI" style, Blackberries and Strawberries are not berries, but a Banana is a berry (because it has the seeds on the inside)

 

[ainsworth74]

Wouldn't it impair hull integrity, especially at the high pressures on the outside of sub.

You can have deep diving subs with windows (the subs that go down to the Titanic have windows) but they're very small and very very thick. Basically they would be a waste of money on a military submarine as well as being a weak point in the hull should life get 'interesting'. The Russian subs that are fitted with windows have them on the free flooding part of the conning tower so when the sub dives both sides of the window get flooded so there is no issue with pressure.

 

[Railguy220]

no they are a fruit - the "tree" is a herb

That's why I said technically. And the Banana doesn't grow on a tree; it grows on a plant as it doesn't have woody tissue.

 

[Peter Mugridge]

...and the cocoa bean is legally a fruit ( so chocaholics can claim it's one of their five a day... ).

 

[Minilad]

All this talk of deep sea diving reminds me of my favourite Club for such activities

http://www.muffdivingclub.ie/

Which, by the way, before anyone says anything is totally genuine as I know somebody who is a member

 

[Trog]

I travelled to Jersey on Flybe last year presenting my driving license. The full list of accepted ID, from their website:

Etc Etc Etc.......
Company ID card of nationally recognised company (photographic)
Etc Etc Etc.......


Looks like I can fly to Jersey then, provided British Rail is still a nationally recognised company, and they dont mind the fact that the photo is twenty five years old.

 

[SS4]

All this talk of deep sea diving reminds me of my favourite Club for such activities

http://www.muffdivingclub.ie/

Which, by the way, before anyone says anything is totally genuine as I know somebody who is a member

Why don't I trust your link?

 

[Lrd]

Why don't I trust your link?

I bet it is not what you are thinking it is! It is totally safe for work!

 

[12CSVT]

I think a little part of me just died.....

Someone asked me the other day what concrete was. Now that doesnt sound bad, but he is a fellow second year student in civil engineering and we have had 4 lectures a week on concrete for the last 7 weeks....

Doesn't surprise me one bit - a couple of years ago a station manager at the TOC I work for didn't know what a SPAD was. (That manager has since moved to a higher paid job).

 

[Minilad]

Why don't I trust your link?

Trust me, it's all safe and above board !

 

[Nym]

Trust me, it's all safe and above board !

Would you trust this link though? http://www.scat.kz/

 

[Minilad]

Would you trust this link though? http://www.scat.kz/

Well if you told me it was safe and actually had something to do with diving then yes !!

 

[Nym]

Nothing at all to do with diving, although they are banned from operating within the EU...