I completely understand why the current restrictions are in place and why they should apply to everyone. This is a national emergency of a type that we have not experienced before within living memory. However, it does make it very difficult for some people in certain circumstances.
My mother is 85 and has dementia. I know it will get far worse as time progresses, but currently the only aspect that it is affecting her in a big way is her loss of short term memory. She is still fully aware of who people are and their names, she knows where she is both inside the house and outside, and can still hold a very sensible conversation to the point that some people would not know that there is very much wrong. However, if she was asked what she had to eat 5 minutes ago she would have no idea and she also after a few minutes has completely forgotten what she has seen and heard in the news and would have no idea what she did or where she went yesterday.
She requires stimulation to keep her brain active. Before things got really bad, in the 2 weeks leading up to the current lockdown, at least I was able to take her out for a ride in the car and whilst maintaining social distancing take a short walk out in the country. She didn’t really understand why we couldn’t go into a pub or tearoom for something to eat or why we couldn’t visit a garden centre, but she was enjoying getting out of the house and seeing the spring flowers and countryside. Fortunately we do have a garden which she can spend some time in but apart from that she is confined to the house.
The biggest problem resulting from the loss of short term memory is that she can’t remember anything about the coronavirus or the current restrictions. Every morning when she sees the newspaper it is a complete shock to her and she doesn’t understand why nobody has told her about this. This is repeated every time she sees or hears the news on the radio and tv. Dozens of times each day I am having to explain to her why the schools are closed, the church across the road is closed, why we can’t go out in the car or for a meal etc etc etc. The biggest problem of all is why she can’t go on her weekly trip to see my sister who lives about 50 miles away and she can’t come here. It’s like continuous Groundhog Day!
We live in a rural area and for her being taken out a few times a week in the car around the country lanes and villages would really help. I’m not allowing anyone else in my car at this time.
After just one week of being in the house with her and this continuous questioning about why everything is happening I’m not sure what my state of mind will be if this goes on right through the summer. Over the past couple of years I’ve had a week off each month and gone away on holiday whilst my sister has looked after my mum. She doesn’t need constant care at this stage and I am usually able to go out for hours and she’s quite happy and safe being left to potter around the house and garden. However, I am now stuck in the house with the constant questioning about things which she forgets within five minutes of me trying to explain.
I am not going to go against the current restrictions but this does seem a case where a drive out in the country or even a trip over to see her own daughter where we could sit for an hour well over 2 metres apart in the garden would be best for her and long term for my health and sanity. How, as time goes on, can I explain to her that she is not able to see her own daughter for perhaps months when she forgets within minutes the reason.