The most stupid question you have been asked

[tsr]

I think some people get naturally nervous when they travel, for a number of reasons. Maybe they don't travel much and had bad experiences from the past such as missing their stop or the CIS showing information for and subsequently boarding the wrong train, maybe they don't believe themselves, etc.

I can kind of understand such questions as an assurance for themselves. Some people simply do not believe what they see for themselves. My previous housemate always used to ask me as the train approaches when we go to Nottingham together, "Is this the one to Nottingham?", despite it being shown on the CIS in massive fonts "1530 NOTTINGHAM calling at Nottingham".

Well, this was more than just CIS. The information provided did basically consist of the full Tube bells and whistles, complete with train!

Anyway... how about another one?

"Oooh, was that a steam train?"

The person who asked that had just taken a photo with their phone of a steam locomotive (Tangmere) belching out quite a lot of steam whilst hauling a fair number of carriages. My answer:

"Yes."

 

[bb21]

"Oooh, was that a steam train?"

The person who asked that had just taken a photo with their phone of a steam locomotive (Tangmere) belching out quite a lot of steam whilst hauling a fair number of carriages. My answer:

"Yes."

Maybe he was just trying to strike up a conversation.

 

[Kilted_Scot]

Customer " Which train do I get to glasgow?"

Me "Usually the Glasgow Train....."

Or my other favourite

"Is this Glasgow?" (referring to where the train is travelling to)
"No this is Edinburgh......"

 

[Sammy h]

'Have I missed the next train to London?'

'Is it the London train I need to go to London?'

 

[quarella]

Telephone enquiries or booking office. "Can you tell me the times of trains to Penzance please on Thursday between 10am and 2pm?"
These are given. Passenger then says "There are more than that. Last time I caught one at about 1215." I have a look. "Yes. There is a service departing at 1215 but it terminates at Plymouth and the connection to Penzance is the train that leaves here at 1245."
"It's Plymouth I am going to."

Also:- Me".. and the last service is at 2248."
Passenger"What's the one after that?"
Me"The first train of the day 0543 the following morning."
Passenger"What have you got between them."
Me Tries not to sigh.

 

[fordylad]

There was an American at Slough who said,
" wasn't it a good idea to build Windsor Castle, near the airport"

 

[musicking1306]

I was at Seven Beach station and was asked which platform the train went from? (Seven Beach has 1 platform)

 

[222007]

I once got asked over a dozen times by the same lady if this was the train to leicester. Once i had been answered the question yes for the 12th time i replied no and she sauntered off

 

[AndrewP]

There was an American at Slough who said,
" wasn't it a good idea to build Windsor Castle, near the airport"

That's crazy - it was a bad idea to build it so close to Slough in my view.

 

[Welshman]

There was an American at Slough who said,
" wasn't it a good idea to build Windsor Castle, near the airport"

A good friend assures me he was once asked by a tourist: "Why did they build Conwy Castle so near to the railway?"

And he replied: "So the king could get to London in three hours"

 

[scotraildriver]

Alloa station is murder for being asked "which platform for the Stirling train?" There is only 1 platform......................

 

[158801]

Passenger : Where's the Blackpool train leave from ?

Me: That's it - just there (pointing)

P: Are you sure

M: Yes, quite

P: Blackpool ?

M: Yes

P: When does it go

M: In about ten minutes

P: You not kidding me on are you

M: No

P: Definately for Blackpool

M: Yes

P: You're pulling my leg aren't you

M: No

P: Yes you are

M: Why would I? What do I have to gain by telling you it goes to Blackpool if in fact it goes to London ?

P: Erm, well, I don't know ?

M: Exactly

P: So it is for Blackpool

M: Yes

P: So it goes to BOLTON !

M: NO. For Bolton you get a bus from the station front

P: See, I told you it wasn't the train I wanted !:roll:

 

[Zerothebrake!]

Woman to me:- 'How do I get on the train?'

Me to woman:- 'Hang on while I get Marcel Marceau for you!'

 

[thelongestroad]

"Do you have any tickets?"
"The internet says/my phone says, are you sure?"

And the Brucey Bonus: "How do you sleep at night?"

And some others that I sure to have forgotten..

 

[dangie]

I don't think there can be any stupid questions at Birmingham New Street. With late running trains causing last minute platform changes coupled with the darkest dingyist platforms imaginable sometimes I'm not convinced I'm on the right train..!!

Some questions may seem a little strange to those who know everything :roll:
But as I was told when I was neigh but a lad, 'There's no such thing as a stupid question', 'Only a stupid answer..'

 

[JohnB57]

Some questions may seem a little strange to those who know everything.

Quite. So many opportunities to be condescending. So little time...

 

[Buttsy]

But as I was told when I was neigh but a lad, 'There's no such thing as a stupid question', 'Only a stupid answer..'

Slightly off topic, but I have asked a really stupid question. On seeing a road sign on the back of deep hall bar in Lincoln college Oxford which said 'Silverstone, please drive carefully' I asked the question 'Where did you get that from then?'. Ergo, there are stupid questions.

 

[Harbon 1]

We get picked up by our dad at the station, on the train:

Me: dad says he's sat at the very front

Little brother: okay....which ends the front

*facepalm*
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Or the lady that got on the return portion of the Deltic Nordsman a few years back at york

As we're pulling out the station: this isn't the London train, is it?

Answered with the whole carriage laughing

 

[AlexS]

I do despair sometimes at the amount of times I can stand next to a train with 'Birmingham New Street' on the front, 'Birmingham New Street' on the boards next to it and how many times I get asked 'Is this the Birmingham train?'.

However I manage to temper it by the fact that some of the punters are going to be unsure so just want the confirmation of a human rather than the impersonal electronic equipment telling them.

Also by the fact that when I've been a bit busy to deal with a train running enquiry and referred passengers to the connections boards and departure screens, the odd one or two has quietly confessed that they can't read. In which case I'll always come and assist at the earliest opportunity.

By the far the stupidest thing I've been asked in reality, is by some ignorant old bag, who marched up to me with her case and belongings and stated nothing other than 'PLATFORM 3'. I knew precisely what she wanted but as she'd been so abrupt I feigned ignorance and merely said 'pardon?'. She repeated it in the same manner, so I just said 'you're stood on it' and pointed to the sign she was stood underneath at the time. At which point she said 'oh, I see', and walked off. Some people are just ignorant, unfortunately.

 

[Kneedown]

Q:- (Stood at Nottingham, pointing at Liverpool train) "Is this Liverpool?"
A:- No Sir, this is Nottingham.

Q:- "What Train Station do i need for East Mid's Airport?"
A:- "East Mid's Parkway is the nearest Train Station to East Mid's Plane Station".

and finally.........

Q:- "Can i get on the train now or do i have to wait until the doors are open?"

:roll:

 

[Trog]

"Does this train stop at Watford?"

Asked by three lads who had obviously had one weak bitter shandy too many, before seating themselves in a Grampus wagon, standing next to a big hole in the track with several large yellow machines in it.

 

[RPI]

At St Ives (a single platform stationand i was standing on the only platform) been asked "which platform for Carbis Bay", me sarcastic but laughing-"Platform 7 sir" thinking that they would turn around and go "doh, only one platform", oh no, he wondered down the single bare platform and re-appeared 2 mins later saying that he couldn't find platform 7! I'm sure he is constantly telling himself to put one foot in front of the other!

 

[Cherry_Picker]

Most 'stupid questions' aren't actually that stupid, they are simply people looking for reassurance.
Yes, it can be annoying when you get asked the same question fifty times a day, but that is part of the job. It can be annoying when people ask you a question when people ask you a question that they clearly already know the answer to, but again, that's part of the job.

If you are standing by a Liverpool bound train in Nottingham and somebody asks you if this is Liverpool then replying "No, it's Nottingham" or "No, it's a train" then I'm afraid you are being a bit of a dick about things, it might have been a witty thing to say the first time anybody thought of it (and I am guessing that was in about 1850) but it's so played out these days that people can take it the wrong way and think you are being either smug or rude. You will always find people out of their comfort zone in a crowded railway station. They will ask things which somebody who spends 40 hours a week there might think are stupid things to ask, but remember there are plenty of places in the world where the opposite might be true and people think you are thick for asking something you aren't 100% certain of.

That said, the comment about Windsor Castle and Heathrow was pretty daft. :grin:

 

[khib70]

Most 'stupid questions' aren't actually that stupid, they are simply people looking for reassurance.
Yes, it can be annoying when you get asked the same question fifty times a day, but that is part of the job. It can be annoying when people ask you a question when people ask you a question that they clearly already know the answer to, but again, that's part of the job.

If you are standing by a Liverpool bound train in Nottingham and somebody asks you if this is Liverpool then replying "No, it's Nottingham" or "No, it's a train" then I'm afraid you are being a bit of a dick about things, it might have been a witty thing to say the first time anybody thought of it (and I am guessing that was in about 1850) but it's so played out these days that people can take it the wrong way and think you are being either smug or rude. You will always find people out of their comfort zone in a crowded railway station. They will ask things which somebody who spends 40 hours a week there might think are stupid things to ask, but remember there are plenty of places in the world where the opposite might be true and people think you are thick for asking something you aren't 100% certain of.

That said, the comment about Windsor Castle and Heathrow was pretty daft. :grin:

This.:roll:

 

[ReverendFozz]

When I was a child, I asked a guard what he was doing, I got the reply checking tickets, I asked him repeatedly, conversation went as such.

Me: What you doing
Guard: Checking tickets
Me: So what are you actually doing
Guard: Checking Tickets
Me: So your checking tickets right
Guard: Yes
Me: So what you doing
Guard: I'm having a pooh
Me: No your not, your checking tickets

I was quite immature.

 

[heart-of-wessex]

However I manage to temper it by the fact that some of the punters are going to be unsure so just want the confirmation of a human rather than the impersonal electronic equipment telling them.

To be fair, sometimes you do need human confirmation, and like one instance at Bristol, I wish I asked a 'stupid question' just to be sure, as there was a bit of a mess at Temple Meads one night with platform alterations, and my train back to Trowbridge was now due on P7. The dot matrix said 'Westbury' and the announcement matched, then the 150 came in on P7 so I jumped on and we left for Lawrence Hill! Turned out it was a Cardiff local so I bailed at Lawrence Hill and waited 20 minutes for a unit back then another wait for a Trowbridge train!

Don't know if the PIS changed after I got on but it was an annoying delay for my trip home!

Most silly question I asked was years back:

'How much is the Woolwich Free Ferry?'

 

[LexyBoy]

Guard: I'm having a pooh
Me: No your not, your checking tickets

Never heard of multitasking?

Q:- "What Train Station do i need for East Mid's Airport?"
A:- "East Mid's Parkway is the nearest Train Station to East Mid's Plane Station".

That's not a stupid question at all - the questioner may not have known that there was such a station, and even if they did there's nothing in the station's name to tell you it's near the airport. It could just be a parkway station for the East Midlands.

Sure one can make assumptions, but then you risk ending up like the tourists asking which way to the university at Oxford Circus...

 

[Tim R-T-C]

I imagine passengers are extra cautious these days about getting on the wrong train because of so many horror stories about penalty fares and conductors.

 

[O L Leigh]

Most 'stupid questions' aren't actually that stupid, they are simply people looking for reassurance.

Hence why I say that the daftest question is "Are you sure...?"

You're asking me the question through the cab window, you clearly saw me drive the train into the platform, so clearly I must be the driver. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I was unsure whether or not my train stops at a certain station, would I.

**EDIT**

But in Kneedown's defence (and others), I have also made jokes along those sorts of lines with passengers. However, I usually make it obvious that I'm having a good-natured joke at their expense (unless they are being particularly rude or obnoxious) before giving them the answer they are actually looking for. Most times they can see the funny side of it too and it helps to act as an ice-breaker.

O L Leigh

 

[starrymarkb]

One today...

Will the Scotrail strike affect my train between Maidstone and Chichester?

Clue is in the name
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Never heard of multitasking?

That's not a stupid question at all - the questioner may not have known that there was such a station, and even if they did there's nothing in the station's name to tell you it's near the airport. It could just be a parkway station for the East Midlands.

Derby is the best station for EMA as it has a bus link. East Mids Parkway is nearest as the crow flies but good luck getting to the airport from it! It is just a parkway station for the East Midlands