The Wacky (and not-so-Wacky) Ideas Thread

[Ivo]

First off, to those of you who do not wish to participate or otherwise constructively critique others' ideas, please do not post saying "this is stupid" (as with the World Cup threads).

This thread is for those of us with an active imagination (or not) to promote our own pointless (and hopefully not-so-pointless) lines and for them to be shot down again by others trying to out-manoeuvre each line.

So here we go. I would like to start by promoting a Merseyrail Metro service.

A new tunnel can open from the southern spur at Edge Hill, calling at Grove Street, Park Place, Toxteth, Wapping, Whitechapel, University, Shaw Street, Heyworth Street and Stanley Park, before surfacing for the "orbital" line that currently exists south of the A5058 and having stations at County Road, Kirkdale, Bootle Oriel Road and Bootle New Strand. New interchanges are at Toxteth, Whitechapel, Kirkdale, and the Bootle pair (all Northern), and University [actually John Moores University] (Wirral). Stanley Park could be interesting...!

New stations will be at Toxteth (as above), Berry Street (south of Central), Southport Duke Street, Breeze Hill (north of Kirkdale), Long Lane (near Fazakerley), Millhouse Lane (Moreton), Brooke Road (Waterloo) and Vauxhall.

A ten-minute frequency will run on all Metro routes (apart from Ellesmere Port, which gains the afore-discussed 30-minute shuttle from Hooton, as will a link between Bank Quay and Earlestown).

Merseyrail will be permitted expansion to areas such as Skelmersdale and Heswall as they feel necessary (provided it is reasonable). An extension to Speke and the airport will be introduced to the northern.

All services to Wigan via St Helens, Warrington Central and Newton-le-Willows will run every ten minutes, through the new tunnel. Wigan and Newton services will terminate at University; Warrington services will run to Bootle.

Lime Street will then be able to accept more long-distance traffic than at present. There will thus be no excuse to not return it to the CrossCountry network.

Services will be formed of 6-car "S"-stock -style units.

 

[generalvegitable]

I was half expecting this topic to be for the most insane possible ideas but never mind, how about an express service running non stop between a dedicated platform at St-Pancras and Berney Arms, quadruple headed by the claggiest 37s that can be found, 5 trains per hour! with 12 mk1 coaches

 

[MidnightFlyer]

I was half expecting this topic to be for the most insane possible ideas but never mind, how about an express service running non stop between a dedicated platform at St-Pancras and Berney Arms, quadruple headed by the claggiest 37s that can be found, 5 trains per hour! with 12 mk1 coaches

Mine was 8tph headed and tailed by 67s (5 on each end), Newhaven Harbour to Newhaven Town. . This Thread could turn out to be fun...

 

[mrcheek]

What we really need is a non-stop Weston-super-Mare to Inverness service that goes via London and the ECML.

Of course, it would be even more useful if at Doncaster, it headed off towards Sheffield, then Manchester, then back east again via Leeds and on to York.

Then at Newcastle, it heads west to Carlisle, takes in Carlisle to Settle, then heads from Leeds back west, covers the whole of the Cumbria Coast, then returns to Newcastle to complete the ECML.

And obviously, at Edinburgh, it heads via the Forth and Tay bridges, taking in Dundee and Aberdeen, before completing its leisurely way to Inverness.

Extended to Kyle of Localsh on alternate wednesdays.

 

[generalvegitable]

how about an unrefurbished pacer that runs between Penzance and Wick non stop! no catering and remove the toilet to make way for extra seats.

 

[Ivo]

That's taking it a bit too far for my liking. If you're going to suggest something, at least make it viable. Even if "viable" means Penzance to Wick, calling only at Plymouth, Exeter St D, Bristol TM, Brum, Derby, Sheffield, Leeds, York, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Dundee, Aberdeen and Inverness, with a 170.

 

[starrymarkb]

how about an unrefurbished pacer that runs between Penzance and Wick non stop! no catering and remove the toilet to make way for extra seats.

I've seen that suggested as an idea for a railtour

 

[lm321412]

how about an unrefurbished pacer that runs between Penzance and Wick non stop! no catering and remove the toilet to make way for extra seats.

Think the 139 would be more appropriate, 40 mph and banned from the mainline Don't think I would fancy being on it with a passing HST doing 125mph...

 

[Ivo]

And... why was this thread moved? Does it not belong in the usual NR place?

 

[37372]

Well it could be used for other non railway ideas, for example, IMO, people using trollies at supermarkets should have to have to pass some sort of small driving test to use them! Pull over to the side if you need to stop so that you don't block the aisle, slow down when approaching aisle junctions, be wary of overloading the trolley, and how to park it properly when putting it away!

 

[Mojo]

And... why was this thread moved? Does it not belong in the usual NR place?

I moved it as I feel it would be more suitable here. http://www.railforums.co.uk/showthread.php?t=11667

 

[Ivo]

Fair enough. My apologies.

I'll be posting a map of my Mersey Metro soon.

 

[Sun Chariot]

I'd like to see airline cabin baggage restrictions enforced on all Chiltern Line services which stop at Bicester North. Half the darned seats are used by normals for their giant bags, cases, etc, as they head off to buy bling at Bicester Outlet Village...

And I'd promote the construction of a new commuter line, which follows the course of the Central Line, except it would be an overhead railway, the track-supporting pylons being bolted to the walls of the City's grade 1 listed buildings...

 

[christopher]

How about building 2 elevated lines over the top of the GEML from Shenfield to Colchester :P

 

[43167]

Heres my crazy idea. Blackpool North-Blackpool South in a circular route not reversing once and calling all stations including Salwick both times.

Route: North-Kirham-Preston-Bamber Bridge-Rose Grove-Hebden Bridge-Brighouse-Cottingley-Woodlesford-Wakefield Kirkgate-Huddersfield-Stalybridge-Ashton-Man Vic-Salford Cres-Bolton-Wigan Northwestern-Euxton-Leyland-Preston-Kirkham-South.

 

[LE Greys]

Well it could be used for other non railway ideas, for example, IMO, people using trollies at supermarkets should have to have to pass some sort of small driving test to use them! Pull over to the side if you need to stop so that you don't block the aisle, slow down when approaching aisle junctions, be wary of overloading the trolley, and how to park it properly when putting it away!

You won't like me. I power-slide them and do mailbag-style pickups at high speed. But only if I've had one too many at lunch.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Rail ideas.
The complete London terminus tour with as little repeat mileage as possible on NR only
Fenchurch Street
Stratford
Liverpool Street
Cambridge
King's Cross
Peterborough
Corby
St Pancras
Bedford
Watford Junction
Euston
Acton Wells
Ealing Broadway
Paddington
Kensington Olympia
Clapham Junction
Waterloo
International Flyover
Victoria
South London Metro
London Bridge
Blackfriars
Cannon Street
Charing Cross

Have I missed anything?

 

[Ivo]

How about building 2 elevated lines over the top of the GEML from Shenfield to Colchester :P

That, I like You can four track the Victoria route while you're at it, allowing a stopping service - complete with new stations at Ashingdon, Hambro Hill, Shotgate, Ramsden, Sunnymeads (Billericay) and Hutton - and faster services (including a new express to Liverpool Street; non-stop to Shenfield, or Southend Airport if loadings can be justified) on the inner tracks.

 

[Oswyntail]

.....
And I'd promote the construction of a new commuter line, which follows the course of the Central Line, except it would be an overhead railway, the track-supporting pylons being bolted to the walls of the City's grade 1 listed buildings...

Making sure everything meets together at Wayne Tower....
(Batman geek slips slowly away)

 

[Ivo]

Here is my Mersey Metro map (made in Paint, explaining the imperfect quality). Not every station has been named (in fact, far from all have), but the number of stops is correct (allowing for the new stations I have introduced). New stations have been introduced on the City Line, at Swanside (between Broad Green and Roby), Mill Lane (between Wavertree TP and Broad Green), Longview (between Huyton and Prescot), Haresfinch and Laffak (both between St Helens Ctl and Garswood), Smithdown (between Edge Hill and Mossley Hill), Upton (between Hough Green and Widnes) and Crow Wood (between Widnes and Sankey). Frequencies have been revised, with all City Line and Wirral Line services (apart from the half-hourly Bank Quay and Ellesmere Port shuttles) running every 12 minutes. On the Northern Line, Ormskirk and Kirkby retain the 15 frequency, but the Southport route is increased to eight trains an hour. This gives 15 trains an hour through the central sections of the City and Wirral Lines, and 16 trains an hour through the central section of the Northern Line. During peak hours, and when football is being played at either Anfield or Goodison Park, all City Line services run to Bootle. For certain other events, for example if Tranmere are at home to Arsenal in the FA Cup, additional shuttles to/from the centre will run as required. On Sundays and public holidays, all services run every 30 minutes, apart from the Southport route which runs every 20 minutes, and the Bank Quay shuttle, which does not operate. During holiday periods, these are improved to every 15 minutes to Southport, and every 20 to New Brighton and Chester. On Sundays and public holidays, six trains an hour run to the Airport (with non-Southport services terminating at Sandhills).

Service pattern (south/west bound):

Northern Line every 15 minutes

Southport to Airport
Ormskirk to Central
Southport to Airport
Kirkby to Central

Wirral Line every 12 minutes

Chester Loop
New Brighton Loop
West Kirby Loop

City Line every 12 minutes

Wigan NW to University
Newton-le-W to University
Warrington Ctl to Bootle New Strand

 

[43021HST]

Replacing the GWML with a DLR style railway woo pootling along at 40mph all the way from London to Bristol, This idea is completely pointless.

Heres another idea, replacing the ad breaks on TV with the Surfin Bird song playing over and over again, with a video of peter Griffin dancing to it. Well a bird, bird, bird

 

[Ivo]

You won't like me. I power-slide them and do mailbag-style pickups at high speed. But only if I've had one too many at lunch.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Rail ideas.
The complete London terminus tour with as little repeat mileage as possible on NR only
Fenchurch Street
Stratford
Liverpool Street
Cambridge
King's Cross
Peterborough
Corby
St Pancras
Bedford
Watford Junction
Euston
Acton Wells
Ealing Broadway
Paddington
Kensington Olympia
Clapham Junction
Waterloo
International Flyover
Victoria
South London Metro
London Bridge
Blackfriars
Cannon Street
Charing Cross

Have I missed anything?

Two: Marylebone and Moorgate. If we're being pedantic, you should really throw in the Thameslink tunnel to include City Thameslink and Farringdon.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Oh, and regarding trolleys, my mother doesn't like me shopping with her because I go fast and apply the brake when she isn't looking

 

[Bedpan]

Mine was 8tph headed and tailed by 67s (5 on each end), Newhaven Harbour to Newhaven Town. . This Thread could turn out to be fun...

Don't be daft, you wouldn't need 10 locos or indeed any! My idea for this service would be to have a 16 coach train that passengers could get on at Harbour, walk through, and get off at Town.

 

[Geezertronic]

All I want is a direct link between Birmingham International and either St Albans, Bridgend, Docklands or Heathrow (and also to provide a better link to Rhyl), in fact I'm going to get my own DMU and build some extra track next to Platform 5 to rest it there when I'm not using it

 

[Dennis]

Givn that NR has run up a debt of £24 billion or thereabouts, the money could have been spent on a mobility scooter. £24b would buy every person in the UK a Superlight Leo Mobility Scooter

Just get Paddy with a tipper full of tarmac to cover over the railways for five quid a metre and the following issues are sorted;

• everyones gets a seat with luggage space and a view
• you won't have to share with irritating passengers
• you can travel when you want without having to wait around for a train
• travel door to door; no faffing around with car parks
• scrap the tram train idea - scooters will go not just into the city centre but right into the shops
• the rolling stock shortage is solved instantly
• no more smelly diesel trains or overweight EMUs
• the cost of scootering would be significantly lower than train travel
• line speeds on some sections (eg NLL) would be vastly increased
• puts an end to franchises so no more complaining about XC

Think thats sorted al the problems.

 

[Geezertronic]

Givn that NR has run up a debt of £24 billion or thereabouts, the money could have been spent on a mobility scooter. £24b would buy every person in the UK a Superlight Leo Mobility Scooter

On that basis, I think the Sinclair C5 should be resurrected

 

[LE Greys]

Two: Marylebone and Moorgate. If we're being pedantic, you should really throw in the Thameslink tunnel to include City Thameslink and Farringdon.
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---
Oh, and regarding trolleys, my mother doesn't like me shopping with her because I go fast and apply the brake when she isn't looking

OK, here's the revised version

The complete London terminus tour with as little repeat mileage as possible on NR only
Fenchurch Street
Stratford
Liverpool Street
Cambridge
Hertford
Moorgate
Finsbury Park
King's Cross
Peterborough
Corby
St Pancras
Kentish Town
Moorgate (if there's still any track down)
Farringdon
Blackfriars
Cannon Street
Charing Cross
London Bridge
South London Metro
Victoria
International Flyover
Waterloo
Clapham Junction
Kensington Olympia
Paddington
Ealing Broadway
Acton Wells
Euston
Acton Wells
Neasden
Marylebone
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Sorry, Dennis. Didn't read the post properly

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Turning the Cambridge-St Ives-Huntingdon railway into a heavily-overpriced, pointless, depressing, dull, slow, boring, ugly Guided Busway. A wait, hang on. They actually did it. Cambridgeshire CC should be ashamed of themselves

 

[LE Greys]

Turning the Cambridge-St Ives-Huntingdon railway into a heavily-overpriced, pointless, depressing, dull, slow, boring, ugly Guided Busway. A wait, hang on. They actually did it. Cambridgeshire CC should be ashamed of themselves

Repeating the mistake with the Luton-Dunstable line. Hang on a sec . . .
. . . and . . . er . . .

 

[Death]

Just came across this whilst downloading something I'd attached to a post a while ago, and simply couldn't resist dropping in my tuppeneth worth!

• Scrappage of all stock built after 1999CE and immediateley replaced with harder, faster versions of the APT-E and P trains,
• Speed limits on ECML and WCML multiplied by a minimum factor of 375,
• Construction of a two-road Transrapid guideway along the path of the WCML between London --> Inverness, which would be used to trial a revival of the old Tracked Hovercraft project.

Oh, and don't forget the return of complimentary tea/coffee for all passengers on MML services, too!

 

[generalvegitable]

how about sending the replica of Rocket along the fast lines of the west coast main line on a railtour between london and manchester via liverpool.

or what about putting conveyor duvets onto the sleepers.

in fact while I'm at it why not give trains hats to make them look stylish?