Weird and Wonderful Delays

[fireincairo]

Travelling back from London on Saturday I was annoyed (but not suprised) that the train ground to a halt 10 or so minutes after leaving Euston station.

The reason? A swan was on the train line and wouldn't move.. An hour late we eventually got on the way. Much to the amusement of the train (and train manager) the following two Manchester trains passed us on the other up line whilst we were waiting. :roll:

I fail to see how train in front us had even managed to stop, assuming it was going at speed for a swan.. Surely Train > Swan?

 

[Ferret]

Travelling back from London on Saturday I was annoyed (but not suprised) that the train ground to a halt 10 or so minutes after leaving Euston station.

The reason? A swan was on the train line and wouldn't move.. An hour late we eventually got on the way. Much to the amusement of the train (and train manager) the following two Manchester trains passed us on the other up line whilst we were waiting. :roll:

I fail to see how train in front us had even managed to stop, assuming it was going at speed for a swan.. Surely Train > Swan?

Well, don't forget a swan belongs to Her Majesty The Queen! It's not the done thing to mow it down in cold blood!

Funniest delay I ever heard of was the inflatable hamburger on the line somewhere near Abbotswood Jn a few years back. Just utterly bizarre!

 

[Any Permitted]

Living in Norfolk I've been stuck invariably on a 153, a 156 and a 170 whilst various farm animals are herded off the tracks.

 

[Nym]

Don't think it's a funny delay, but countless time I've been stood on a full platform 3 at Bolton, "Apologies for the cancelation of all services into manchester that run through Lostock Junction, this is due to some selfish person jumping infront of the train, please wait while we scrape him off the tracks. Additional units are on route from Manchester to run services into Piccadilly, Victoria and Airport. Apologies again for any inconvenience caused."

Then watching everyone pile onto the train from Blackburn, a 153, going to victoria, as the doors closed on that, a 6 car 185 pulled in, and behind that a 5 car 180, hats off to Northern and TPE for getting them up so quick...

 

[mumrar]

I once had to announce we were delayed just outside Hampton in Arden (going to New Street) for about 15 minutes due to Virgin Atlantic! A plane coming in to land had reported some form of unusual problem, so the protocol is to isolate the overheads just incase the worst may happen, where the line and flight path cross near Marston Green.

 

[YorkshireBear]

Did he actually say that? cos if he did makes me very happy

 

[mumrar]

Did he actually say that? cos if he did makes me very happy

Did 'he'? I presume you mean me, as I was guard of the train in question and I di say that.

 

[YorkshireBear]

Did 'he'? I presume you mean me, as I was guard of the train in question and I di say that.

sorry when i started typing you hadnt posted i was reffering to post above about bolton

Although yours is interesting too

 

[fgwrich]

Roughly 2 years ago, in the height of summer 2008, i was waiting to get up to Reading, When i heard the usual announcement for Cross Country - We Are Sorry To Announce That The XX:XX Service is delayed by XX Minutes, Due to Leaves On The Line near Bournemouth...

Also remember seeing a picture in Modern Railways again a few years back where someone had abandoned a Dalek next to the Cornish Mainline just outside Liskeard! - NR Closed the line to remove it due it being deemed as a safety hazard, but can you imagine the announcements for that!

 

[HSTfan!!!]

Also remember seeing a picture in Modern Railways again a few years back where someone had abandoned a Dalek next to the Cornish Mainline just outside Liskeard! - NR Closed the line to remove it due it being deemed as a safety hazard, but can you imagine the announcements for that!

I'd be dying to announce something along the lines of EXTERMINATE!

 

[PR1Berske]

Don't think it's a funny delay, but countless time I've been stood on a full platform 3 at Bolton, "Apologies for the cancelation of all services into manchester that run through Lostock Junction, this is due to some selfish person jumping infront of the train, please wait while we scrape him off the tracks. Additional units are on route from Manchester to run services into Piccadilly, Victoria and Airport. Apologies again for any inconvenience caused."

Then watching everyone pile onto the train from Blackburn, a 153, going to victoria, as the doors closed on that, a 6 car 185 pulled in, and behind that a 5 car 180, hats off to Northern and TPE for getting them up so quick...

Yeah, because suicide is HILARIOUS, isnt it? :roll:

 

[gordonthemoron]

in 1992 (I think), the overhead wires at Stevenage were damaged by a swan landing on them, and presumably being incinerated

 

[Peter Mugridge]

I was once on an InterCity that, having already lost a bit of time, was then seriously delayed further because the tea urn in the buffet car wasn't working and they called a fitter to look at it!:roll:

Probably very lucky there were no reporters on board or you could have imagined the headlines: "BR tea delays train 30 minutes!"

Surely they could have simply apologised for the lack of tea, run the train and then fixed it at the depot that evening?!:roll:

 

[O L Leigh]

Swans are big birds and very solidly built. Hitting one with a train at any great speed risks damaging equipment on the front or underside of the train, or of breaking the windscreen if it flies up.

The problem is that they need such a long space to get airbourne that they can't just fly up out of the way. Someone (usually a Nitwit Rail MOM) has to go down and persuade it to move.

O L Leigh

 

[Ostrich]

Not sure if this qualifies for this thread or the "Weird Station Announcements" thread elsewhere, but one classic "delay of journey" I had occurred many years ago, in the days of NSE.

Crewkerne station, Saturday, 06:30 in the morning, 50+ people on the platform, one of those promo days where you could travel anywhere across the network for a fiver. The station master announced "the next train will be the 06:35 additional service to London Waterloo." They'd put on - and advertised - an early morning special to cope with expected traffic numbers.

We waited with expectation, and as promised, a Cl.50 duly appeared round the curve, dead on time. Just one problem. He was hammering it. We all stood back rapidly and bemused, watched the red tail light disappearing at some rate of knots in the direction of Yeovil Junction.

The stationmaster appeared on the platform, and totally deadpan, announced:
"Ladies and gentlemen .... that WAS the 06:35 additional service to London Waterloo ... the next train will be at 07:00."

If I recall right, I found out later that the errant 06:35 had been crewed direct from Laira, and there was apparently some confusion between the "SR" and "WR" traffic notices regarding that particular turn ........

 

[Deerfold]

Yeah, because suicide is HILARIOUS, isnt it? :roll:

Which is presumably why he put the first sentence in.

 

[wessex]

Which is presumably why he put the first sentence in.

Obviously someone who doesnt read the whole question in tests :roll:

 

[moonrakerz]

It may not be "Weird and Wonderful" but the one that intrigues/fascinates/bemuses/confuses/annoys me is:

"we are waiting for a platform to become available"

I got this twice again today going to and from South Wales at Temple Meads. When a platform became "available" and we entered the station - every platform (bar one and ours) was empty ! Did everyone leave to let us in ?

I can understand this at Waterloo or Paddington, but at an empty Penzance, as I got one day ?

Is this now the standard announcement when it is felt that "late running train ahead", "swan on the line", "leaves" won't cut the mustard any more ?

 

[wessex]

It may not be "Weird and Wonderful" but the one that intrigues/fascinates/bemuses/confuses/annoys me is:

"we are waiting for a platform to become available"

I got this twice again today going to and from South Wales at Temple Meads. When a platform became "available" and we entered the station - every platform (bar one and ours) was empty ! Did everyone leave to let us in ?

I can understand this at Waterloo or Paddington, but at an empty Penzance, as I got one day ?

Is this now the standard announcement when it is felt that "late running train ahead", "swan on the line", "leaves" won't cut the mustard any more ?

It may be due to certain platforms only being accessible from that line, and if that platform is occupied, you must wait until the signaller puts you on to that line.

 

[mumrar]

Obviously someone who doesnt read the whole question in tests :roll:

This reminds me of an aptitude tests for the guards course. We were given a sheet with 25 questions on, question 1 was just to read through all of the questions before starting. After some time just over half of the class started to spell their names out loud. My smugness at having followed the initial instruction fully, through to point 25 'Don't do any of the questions above this one' was hard to contain. Everybody had rushed ahead to try and finish fast and not followed through the very first instruction.

 

[142094]

Had one on the TW Metro where someone had spat on the windscreen, so the unit was taken out of service to be cleaned.

 

[moonrakerz]

It may be due to certain platforms only being accessible from that line, and if that platform is occupied, you must wait until the signaller puts you on to that line.

"but at an empty Penzance, as I got one day ?"

I could say: - "Obviously someone who doesnt read the whole question in tests" - but I won't !

 

[Toots]

and that person may say it doesn't necessarily have to be occupied by a train,it could and probably was,under a T2 protection and as such,the Signalman would have to wait until that protection was given up before signalling the train into the platform and before you say it,yes engineers do take multiple lines on a blockage for various reasons,so no platform would have been available until the COSS had given up all the lines on that particular form....

 

[ChrisTheRef]

and that person may say it doesn't necessarily have to be occupied by a train,it could and probably was,under a T2 protection and as such,the Signalman would have to wait until that protection was given up before signalling the train into the platform and before you say it,yes engineers do take multiple lines on a blockage for various reasons,so no platform would have been available until the COSS had given up all the lines on that particular form....

and breathe....

 

[Toots]

Excellent

 

[Aictos]

Sunday was fun as I had a service running 20 minutes late so making announcements advising that the affected service was running 20 minutes late only for the Auto PA to kick in moments later apologising for the same delay saying the affected service was running 15 minutes late!

The service really was running 20 minutes late but the Auto PA had yet to pick up on it.

 

[Toots]

C'mon Ajax,you were caught bang to rights..admit it!

 

[adc82140]

A few from my many years of commuting...

"This train has been delayed because the driver has lost his shoe"

"This train has been delayed because the driver's car has been clamped"

"This train has been cancelled due to confusion"

"We are now approaching our first stop, Twyford", which we subsequently passed through at high speed "but nobody has bothered to tell the driver. The next stop is Reading"

"This train has been delayed because the driver's alarm clock didn't go off"

And one from the auto PA at Reading "I'm sorry to announce that the 07:53 FGW service to London Paddington is delayed by 12 minutes. This is due to Didcot Parkway"

 

[Aictos]

C'mon Ajax,you were caught bang to rights..admit it!

I wish, nah it was waiting train crew.

 

[LE Greys]

in 1992 (I think), the overhead wires at Stevenage were damaged by a swan landing on them, and presumably being incinerated

Another one I've heard of is an "exploding pigeon" at King's Cross Thameslink. There was also one a rat that "self-destructed" while chewing through signal cables, and shorted out a vast area.

There used to be a complete A-to-Z of excuses out there somewhere, but I can't find a link, so I'll give you some of the highlights that I remember:
"A remarkable lack of investment in the infrastructure of the railway system by government"
"Armed escaped prisoner on track threatening trains"
"Completely incompetent management at every level"
"Deranged female on line"
"Doors won't close"
"Driver walked of to collect kids from school"
"Due to no reason whatsoever"
"General incompetence of British Rail"
"Guard has been taken away by the Police"
"Herons mating"
"Overhanging tree branches"
"Portakabin blocking the line"
"Slippery rails all over the country"
"Some charlie's used an alarm handle as a coat hook"
"Stock is currently frozen to the rails in Letchworth" (the opposite of my Duchess welding herself to the rails at Camden)
"The f****ing train's broken down!"
"Wrong type of boat on the line" (presumably somewhere around Dawlish after a severe gale)
AND
"I don't know what the problem is, I'll just have a look"